*Mulberry Chat Here!!*

[Mulberry Ellie]

Originally Posted by fuzzyfelt27

^^ Sorry to read about your ordeal Mulberry Ellie. Keep your chin up and as the other ladies have said, stick to your guns and fight for what you know is right. You DID do the right thing in reporting your old boss and it's a disgrace that you're not getting any support for that or for your decision to move on. I know it's no consolation, but I too have had a disappointing experience with HR at my place of work too - they were totally uninterested in my side of the issue (we have an annual review procedure where your performance is ranked & rated against peers and you get performance related pay rises, promotions, etc. They do a mid-year review to see how you're trending to make sure you're not slipping behind and give you corrective action plans if you are. At my mid-year review I got "Outstanding" which only 5% of the corporation achieve [out of 80k employees]. I then got a new manager who hadn't got a clue about the work I did and made my life hell and by the time it came to my annual review 6 months later I got told I was at the very bottom of the organisation performance wise). So I took the matter to HR and said how could I have fallen so far down the performance scale in 6 months without any warning and basically that it was strange how it all coincided with the new manager coming onboard. They were wholeheartedly in support of the manager in question and basically told me that the issue was due to my "lack of communication skills" with the manager! To cut a long story short (er), I ended up dropping the case as it had taken me several months and a lot of stress to get nowhere. In the end, I was lucky enough to get the chance to move into a new role in another department of the company and I've not looked back since! Just a shame I still have to see the awful witch ex-manager around the building, but I do have the satisfaction that she is no longer a manager as she had it taken away from her - I know several other people complained about her in the end, so I feel justice was eventually done. Sorry, I've waffled far too much! But as I said, you're not alone in these horrid situations, but you can hold your head up high and know that you have done what's right and good luck in resolving this as best you can.

Hi Fuzzy, I am so glad that you have survived such an unfair and unjust situation.

The appraisal scheme you describe above is exactly the one my compnay has. Funnily enough, my manager tried to avoid giving me a Mid Year appraisal this year, however when I insisted, she (very begrudgingly) stated that I was "meeting expectations"!

I have been keeping a record/dossier for over 2 years - thank god! When I raised a Grievance against my ex boss one of his reportees was appointed to investigate.

In his summary he tried to insinuate that I was the problem (difficult attitude, colleagues found me awkward, etc) but when I produced my files (copies of emails from snr colleagues thanking me for professional work, going "extra mile" etc etc), the supposedly neutral investigator then retracted his critique of me BUT still elected to view the whole business as "coincidence" and that my whistleblowing had not affected how my boss treated me.

God I have become very boring girls - I am so so so sorry for being MulberryWhinger!

x

[corries2]

Ellie I would have given you exactly the same practical advice as Elvis4life re legal advice. Sometimes when you are trapped in the Company's ever changing value system it's a shock to realise that there is protection in law against some of this shocking behaviour.

Unfortunately many people have to leave their companies and fight from the outside for a constructive dismissal decision. This is so common now that ACAS have taken on extra conciliators to try and stop so many cases getting to tribunals. At least that way there is a chance people may stay in their jobs and get things sorted from within.

More importantly than that Ellie take care of yourself. This stress can contaminate your private life and before you know it you have a vicious circle going where you feel you are letting everyone in your life down.
I have been off work since the end of August and go back in a fortnight. My stress/anxiety was first apparent physically as a tight feeling in my breast. I actually took Evening Oil of Primrose as I thought it was hormonal! Concentration was shot to pieces other than fixating on a constant black cloud of anxiety that afflicted everything from work to whether or not the bathroom was clean. I had no perspective.

I went to the doctor ostensibly for migraine painkillers but just let it all go. Got signed off and have been taking a chance to regroup. I had known many people who have taken anti-depressants but not me!! Well that's changed and I have some peace of mind and perspective back. I even got my periods back. I thought it was onset of menopause but it was anxiety.

Anyway Ellie your health is infinitely more important to you and your family and friends than anything else. Many of the wisest most patient people I know have at some point in their life had an incidence of acute stress so be totally honest with your doctor, put yourself first and then get to a lawyer as soon as you are up to it.

I could take paragraphs myself out of both you and Fuzzy's & PoppyBs posts and change only the industries. 26 years full time with the one company, brought up a family in that time with my husband, a police officer, sometimes working in London. Little or no time off and always considered a safe pair of hands, who delivered results and got on with everyone I worked with.
Then comes the credit crunch and a workload that is unsustainable. Those who don't give a toss just do what they can and walk out the door at night. All my parameters are gone and I can't get an answer from a boss who does not answer emails phonecalls letters.
Then an offer of a "time manangement course" as if the lack is on my side!
Full time working mothers could write these bl**dy courses!

Are we getting a breed of senior management in this country who are way out their depth. They are making the right noises up the way but then have to kick s**t down the way to have a hope of delivering.

There are some shocking industrial relations issues in the UK at the moment and it must be a factor in us crawling out the recession behind most other countries?

Sorry for the essay. I usually spend the days on here lusting after bags and talking about my imaginary sloth and Gok Wan in the spare room!

Look after yourself Ellie xxx

[Poppy bagfan]

Corries -

[corries2]

Originally Posted by Poppy bagfan

Corries -

Poppy I just HATE the idea of anyone going through job related anxiety. I have had broken bones before and would go through that a million times over rather than lose peace of mind.

I sometimes wonder how Selkie is getting on? She went back to work a wee while ago.

[Poppy bagfan]

Oh yes of course....the new lady with the RN e/w bays?? I do hope she is getting on OK....Selkie if you are lurking come and talk to us...

ITA ^^ re broken bones.....this is just plain bullying and some people get away with transferring their ineptitude so clerverly....the amanger i have a problem with actually emailed a junior AFTER she had herslef misspent £2k....in order to implincate the junior...she got away with it!!

I HATE anything unfair!

[klp0213]

Afternoon ladies!

LMM, your new hair colour looks brilliant! I LOVE it! I assure you it's a million times nicer than my £3.69 box of do-it-yourself dye.

Hugs to Fuzzy, Poppy and Corries for having to deal with their own work horrors.

Ells, I'm very sorry to hear you're having a hard time with work. Bosses are such a pain in the a** sometimes. Elvisfan, Poppy, Fuzzy and Corries have all given you brilliant advice, so I haven't got much to add. Just that you should feel confident in the fact that you have obviously been doing an excellent job, far exceeding what is required of you - that will be what wins your case: you haven't done anything wrong!

I certainly wouldn't back down either, but you'll need to tread carefully with what you say and do as anything can be used against you. Not trying to scare you or anything, but sadly that's what other people do when they are trying to cover up something they've done: target the wrong people (you in this case) so as to "lessen" their own original harmful actions.

Does that make any sense at all? I've seen it a million times before - the husband who is cheating on his wife finds faults with the wife where before he didn't - the accountant who is fiddling the books points the finger at upper management instead - etc, etc.

We're all here for you my dear! Now what you need to do straight away is go and buy as many Green & Black's chocolate bars and tubs of ice cream as you can. Once home, put on a girly film, sit down and eat the lot.

[klp0213]

Originally Posted by Poppy bagfan

Oh yes of course....the new lady with the RN e/w bays?? I do hope she is getting on OK....Selkie if you are lurking come and talk to us... ITA ^^ re broken bones.....this is just plain bullying and some people get away with transferring their ineptitude so clerverly....the amanger i have a problem with actually emailed a junior AFTER she had herslef misspent £2k....in order to implincate the junior...she got away with it!! I HATE anything unfair!

And that is exactly the kind of behaviour I was referring to in my post above. Nasty, dishonest people make me .

[Poppy bagfan]

^^ Exactly! one has to be so careful!!! Grrrr.

Lovely advice klp re the icey and choc...wish i could do that but have to get on a train soon so must go and have a bath.

[fuzzyfelt27]

Originally Posted by Mulberry Ellie

Hi Fuzzy, I am so glad that you have survived such an unfair and unjust situation. The appraisal scheme you describe above is exactly the one my compnay has. Funnily enough, my manager tried to avoid giving me a Mid Year appraisal this year, however when I insisted, she (very begrudgingly) stated that I was "meeting expectations"! I have been keeping a record/dossier for over 2 years - thank god! When I raised a Grievance against my ex boss one of his reportees was appointed to investigate. In his summary he tried to insinuate that I was the problem (difficult attitude, colleagues found me awkward, etc) but when I produced my files (copies of emails from snr colleagues thanking me for professional work, going "extra mile" etc etc), the supposedly neutral investigator then retracted his critique of me BUT still elected to view the whole business as "coincidence" and that my whistleblowing had not affected how my boss treated me. God I have become very boring girls - I am so so so sorry for being MulberryWhinger! x

Sounds almost the same as my situation - I complained about my manager ahead of the annual review and got ignored and then when I took up the dispute with HR, my manager said I was really negative and creating waves in the team, etc, etc. I too showed a load of emails I'd got off colleagues singing my praises, saying I was a role model, etc, etc and they just totally dismissed it all and said it was subjective! lol

Keep fighting and you know in your own head and heart that you are right, shove the rest of them so to speak (I know it's not easy when you're in the situation but just remember they'll get their just desserts one day - what goes around, comes around!)

[bevw56]

Ellie
So sorry to hear about your troubles
i experienced a year from hell last year and in the end decided to walk away as I felt there is only so much one person can take.
I really dont know whether it was the right or the wrong decision but in the year since in a new job i have gained a wealth of experince made many new friends and have looked forward to going to work.
Chin up go take a mulberry family picture you will know how when the time is ready for you to make a decision

[mulberryfloss]

Originally Posted by bevw56

Ellie So sorry to hear about your troubles i experienced a year from hell last year and in the end decided to walk away as I felt there is only so much one person can take. I really dont know whether it was the right or the wrong decision but in the year since in a new job i have gained a wealth of experince made many new friends and have looked forward to going to work. Chin up go take a mulberry family picture you will know how when the time is ready for you to make a decision

TBH Bev I think sometimes that is the best solution - I know its very unfair when you've previously been happy in a job for a long time and that there will quite probably be financial implications but at the end of the day I think that your peace of mind is the most important thing.

I did the same as you - sometimes there's just no going back once the damage has been done, and even if you eventually come out on top things are never the same again. Best to cut your losses sometimes IMO! Work is too big a part of life to spend it being miserable.

to Mulberry Ellie, corries, PB, fuzzy, bev and everyone else who's been in an equally horrible situation!

[chloe-babe]

ooh thanks Lescoy for the new chat thread, am sure it wont take much time at all to get this one to 5000 posts lol

Ellie, can I just send you huge hugs :), you have had great advice already so I just wanted to let you know that we are all here for you, and I really hope things get so much better for you soon.

Girls went back to school today, so I had a pj day and tidied the whole house! feeling virtuous now, so am kicking back with you guys and a cup of tea before picking up our other daughter :)
I ordered another pair of uggs today as a Christmas pressie, the new baily ones with the button on the side - very cute indeed :)

[tireebabe]

Ells, so sorry to read about your situation. I'm afraid I've never been in a situation like yours so can't give you any advice however I am thinking about you and hope things get better for your soon. Be strong and keep sharing your feeling and problems with other as that will help a great deal.

Lots of love and

[hulahoop]

I dont have much experience in this side of things, but Ellie and Corries, so hope you can get things sorted out soon and get some peace of mind and body! Some bosses can be a nightmare sometimes cant they, dont know how people can live with themselves...

[Tote Girl]

Ellie, you are not alone. You are in the Union but it sounds to me they need to start getting more involved in this matter. If your immediate rep seems a little out of their depth perhaps you could tactfully see if a more experienced rep or someone like an area rep could step in. The union will have employment experts and should be offering them to you as a "members benefit" so you discuss things like bullying and the strength of your position in a constructive dismissal case if it came to it. It does has a whiff of them wanting you to just quit and go away. People with the integrity you and other ladies on this thread have shown have my utmost respect.