Mulberry anti-enabling thread

[pheebs]

Originally Posted by Ali-bagpuss

, I talk to anybody and, as you can tell, I'm extremely honest - I don't put on an act at all! I guess really, I'm quite a confident person but with an insecure inside - like a mini egg! The chocolate filling is insecure but I have a hard, confident shell! Oh hell - I'm just a little mixed up!!!!

Yep, I recognise this! I remember at a friends hen party we had to (drunkenly) give our honest first impressions of each other and how our attitude had changed over the years.....to a woman they all said I was intimidating! Which I still find bizarre and makes me sad, as I don't aim to be intimidating at all.

Ah well if you can't please people then just please yourself and buy another bag, this is probably the attitude which has resulted in my little addiction.

[Ali-bagpuss]

Originally Posted by pheebs

Yep, I recognise this! I remember at a friends hen party we had to (drunkenly) give our honest first impressions of each other and how our attitude had changed over the years.....to a woman they all said I was intimidating! Which I still find bizarre and makes me sad, as I don't aim to be intimidating at all. Ah well if you can't please people then just please yourself and buy another bag, this is probably the attitude which has resulted in my little addiction.

Just look at it this way: maybe they mean that you are intimidating to other women in the same way that a supermodel would be - you are just too perfect and they can't compete!!!

My friend is a bit intimidating really. She is tall (she's nearly 6 ft and I'm only 5ft 4in AND she always wears heels!), has a very good well paid job, is slim and glamourous, has no children and lots of money and seems to be easily offended (which is not a good thing for any of my friends to be as I can be a bit crass!!! and have a tendency to say what everybody else is thinking just too scared (or polite) to say!!).

However, she would hate it if she knew that she makes me feel inferior - she doesn't mean to, its my problem not hers! She doesn't think she is superior to me, I think I'm inferior to her to maybe your friends have the same problem!

[flyvetjo]

ooh- this is all getting a bit deep and meaningful!!!! in a good way!!!

[Flossie]

No hidden agenda with my bag buying , I just bags and accessories , although I could do with losing a few pounds
The way I see it , is that some women chose to spend thousands on hair and cosmetics or fancy gym memberships etc , I like to buy nice things . I look after and appreciate everything I have

[Jenova]

Fascinating. While marching off on my health walk with Green Bays, I thought about this a bit further.

I think that my 'collecting' got really out of hand when I took on a managerial role in my former job. They hauled me in to tell me that I had got the job and, at the same time, told me that our figures did not stack up at all but that it was my role to make sure that we had sufficient money in the bank to pay the staff salaries every month.

Thing only got worse at work and my (initially) little spending sprees were ways of making sure that I always had a treat on the way to compensate for being exhausted by working long hours and constantly under stress. I also learnt to use repetitive web based activity (ebay, tpf etc) to dumb down my fear and prevent myself from thinking about the dangerous situation I was in.

I have since taken voluntary redundancy to escape that work situation but have got addicted to the spending game..

[Jenova]

PS - I have been on a diet for some time, trying to get my weight down while my skin is still elastic enough to snap back (I hope). The bags are currently rewards for my success and distractions from how bored and sad I am without lovely choccies and other delicious tasty bits and pieces.

[flyvetjo]

Jenova- I've seen modelling pics in the B.E forum and you don't look like you need to lose any weight!!!!

[Jenova]

I did say that the bags were rewards for SUCCESS in dieting didn't I? I am having a little final chisel at my thighs before calling it a day.

[klp0213]

This is such a great thread!

I agree with those who have said that the obsession with buying bags started after putting on weight or in the middle of losing weight - this is where I'm at right now and I'm much happier trying on a bag than new clothes.

Jenova, I'm a TK Maxx fanatic. Just went today and got some lovely Fenn Wright Manson tops for a bargain price!

[Jenova]

Originally Posted by klp0213

Jenova, I'm a TK Maxx fanatic. Just went today and got some lovely Fenn Wright Manson tops for a bargain price!

I found a £60 Cobalt Thomas Burberry purse for £15 last week and have been buying up all the Earnest Sewn jeans and cords that are anything like my size (reduced from approx £175-£200 to around £10-£30).

Today I got a Paper Denim and Cloth denim jacket and a Navy Fenn Wright Manson top, each for £25.

[sarajane]

Blimey Jo, you're good at this lark. This is an incredible thread although KLp and Jenova are wandering dangerously into buying conversations although not about bags....
I don't know where my bag obsession came from but I know I've had it a long time. When I was about 10 I found a bag in my mum's friend's dressing up box. The handles were broken but I covered them with fabric & stitched them on. I loved that bag & I've been a bag-a-holic ever since.
I relate to the Sophie Kinsella Shopaholic book. Every time she buys something she imagines she'll be known as 'the girl with the such & such scarf or the such & such bag'. I think there's a bit of me in that.
I work as a troubleshooter/consultant so my work persona is all about confidence, can do attitude, problem solving & leading a team.
For a long time I felt a bit of a fraud & was insecure. I always thought I was going to be 'found out' & told I was no good. Turned out I am good!
I'd love to be a size 10 but it's not going to happen. I have big boobs & a big bum but, you know what, this is who I am. The weight is coming off but I'll still be the same person, thin or chunky.

[klp0213]

Jenova - ooh, lovely! Nice bargains! Isn't it great to see how much you've 'saved' when you shop there? My DH doesn't understand this; he says that if you don't spent any money in the first place you'd save more. Men!

[Jenova]

Originally Posted by sarajane

Blimey Jo, you're good at this lark. This is an incredible thread although KLp and Jenova are wandering dangerously into buying conversations although not about bags.... I don't know where my bag obsession came from but I know I've had it a long time. When I was about 10 I found a bag in my mum's friend's dressing up box. The handles were broken but I covered them with fabric & stitched them on. I loved that bag & I've been a bag-a-holic ever since. I relate to the Sophie Kinsella Shopaholic book. Every time she buys something she imagines she'll be known as 'the girl with the such & such scarf or the such & such bag'. I think there's a bit of me in that. I work as a troubleshooter/consultant so my work persona is all about confidence, can do attitude, problem solving & leading a team. For a long time I felt a bit of a fraud & was insecure. I always thought I was going to be 'found out' & told I was no good. Turned out I am good! I'd love to be a size 10 but it's not going to happen. I have big boobs & a big bum but, you know what, this is who I am. The weight is coming off but I'll still be the same person, thin or chunky.

You have boobs do you - you lucky lucky thing!!!! I want some of those.

[sarajane]

^^God, do I have boobs? Enormous blooming things - you can have some, you'd be v welcome!

[Jenova]

Originally Posted by klp0213

Jenova - ooh, lovely! Nice bargains! Isn't it great to see how much you've 'saved' when you shop there? My DH doesn't understand this; he says that if you don't spent any money in the first place you'd save more. Men!

Depending on how much you buy in TKMAXX, he might actually be correct. He would definitely be if he was talking to my sister. He might be when talking about me too.