[slidegirlcass]

I recently joined here in hopes of getting advice on making my first serious purse purchase. I was working with a budget of $200. I got a lot of great info from some very nice gals, but then I also received several responses from people who thought that it would be best that I wait until I had saved up $500+ to buy something. I said a bunch of times that I wouldnt ever want to spend that much, at least not at this point in my life.

The thing is, I have a theory on non-essential purchases. Firstly, the only essentials are food, basic clothing, shelter, and medicine, doctors, etc. Then theres the second tier of things like hair products, makeup, etc...the "maintenance" items. I consider handbags and jewelry to be in the top tier of stuff you want but dont need and I have one rule. I can make a ridiculously impractical puchase as long as I am willing and able to give away the same amount of money that Im spending. For example I bought a bag for $130 the other day, the most I have ever spent on a bag. I then sent $130 to my sorority for a charity event. Buy a pair of earring, send a check to Susan G. Komen. Get something for my dog who already has everything he could ever need, drop off a bag of dog food to the rescue. Thats how I justify making big ticket purchases and allow myself to sleep at night without feeling selfish.

I wonder - especially when I see threads about how much your most expensive bag cost - if anyone does something similar. I almost had a stroke when I saw that post about the 30K Hermes because you can build 5 HFH houses with that!

Does anyone make a point to "share the wealth"? Give a shoutout to your favorite charitable organization!

[lorihmatthews]

I absolutely give back. I donate tons of stuff to the Salvation Army, and I volunteer my time with the Junior League. I have also donated to numerous animal rescue and care groups, Purple Heart and the Red Cross.

Often, it's not about the dollar amount that you give, but your time as well. I don't believe that you can put a price on your time. Don't feel guilty about making purchases for yourself if you can afford them. Many charities would much rather have your time!

[alice87]

Why do you feel so guilty for spending money? Why do you feel obligated to give back or justify you purchase or desire?
I don't think it is appropriate to double the price for something you buy.
Even churches demand 10% of you income and not 100%.

[caxe]

Originally Posted by slidegirlcass

I recently joined here in hopes of getting advice on making my first serious purse purchase. I was working with a budget of $200. I got a lot of great info from some very nice gals, but then I also received several responses from people who thought that it would be best that I wait until I had saved up $500+ to buy something. I said a bunch of times that I wouldnt ever want to spend that much, at least not at this point in my life.

The thing is, I have a theory on non-essential purchases. Firstly, the only essentials are food, basic clothing, shelter, and medicine, doctors, etc. Then theres the second tier of things like hair products, makeup, etc...the "maintenance" items. I consider handbags and jewelry to be in the top tier of stuff you want but dont need and I have one rule. I can make a ridiculously impractical puchase as long as I am willing and able to give away the same amount of money that Im spending. For example I bought a bag for $130 the other day, the most I have ever spent on a bag. I then sent $130 to my sorority for a charity event. Buy a pair of earring, send a check to Susan G. Komen. Get something for my dog who already has everything he could ever need, drop off a bag of dog food to the rescue. Thats how I justify making big ticket purchases and allow myself to sleep at night without feeling selfish.

I wonder - especially when I see threads about how much your most expensive bag cost - if anyone does something similar. I almost had a stroke when I saw that post about the 30K Hermes because you can build 5 HFH houses with that!

Does anyone make a point to "share the wealth"? Give a shoutout to your favorite charitable organization!

Nope.

::: glances at paystub :::
::: considers the price of gas :::
::: looks at a pile of bills yay high :::
::: thinks about student loans :::
::: wonders when I'll get a BETTER paying job :::

Heck, I AM charity! But I'm sure that, once I become more affluent, I'll be able to afford to give my money away (donation) AND/OR find the time to be able to leisurely work without needing to get paid in return (volunteering). I'm just not in a place to be able to do so now, and that's not something I feel guilty about.

[esiders]

Yep, I give back: to my college, AmeriCares, my local police league, the Salvation Army, the NJ organization for people with Autism, and my son's school PTA.

I don't feel guilty about buying handbags. I work hard and I'm a single mother raising a child with autism and ADHD. Most of my "spare time" is spent driving my son to activities, speech therapy, doctor visits, attending PTA meetings and support groups for parents of kids with autism and adhd. I deserve to occassionally splurge on myself! Happy mommy = happy kid.

[slidegirlcass]

Originally Posted by alice87

Why do you feel so guilty for spending money? Why do you feel obligated to give back or justify you purchase or desire?
I don't think it is appropriate to double the price for something you buy.
Even churches demand 10% of you income and not 100%.

I didnt mean I double it, I mean that when Im about to drop a wad of cash on somethng I think about whether I would be willing to donate the same amount.

I also volunteer at several places, but when time is short like mine is (I work 60+ hours a week) then cash is always welcome at places like animal shelters with large expenses.

[socalgem]

I give to many different charities, not because I have to but because I like giving to help others.

[lorihmatthews]

Originally Posted by slidegirlcass

For example I bought a bag for $130 the other day, the most I have ever spent on a bag. I then sent $130 to my sorority for a charity event. Buy a pair of earring, send a check to Susan G. Komen. Get something for my dog who already has everything he could ever need, drop off a bag of dog food to the rescue. Thats how I justify making big ticket purchases and allow myself to sleep at night without feeling selfish.

I'm not trying to get too psychological on you here, but is there a reason why you feel guilty spending money on yourself? Do you feel that somehow you don't deserve these things? You don't need to justify purchases if you can afford them, and you shouldn't donate to charity out of guilt, donating to charity should be a choice based upon your personal financial situation.

Am I reading too much into your post?

[Allisonfaye]

I don't mean this in an offensive way or anything but frankly, I don't see this thread heading anywhere good.

[Demosthenes]

Before I had my son, I gave back as much as I could. :) I used to donate about $800-1,000 a year to Kapiolani Medical Center, which specializes in kids (ironically, my son had to spend lots of time in a similar center in my new town, which makes my previous donations mean even more to me.)

Other than straight monetary donations, I try to be as "green" as I can- recyling bags, minimizing extraneous consumption, only drive when necessary, etc. I also freecycle to keep things out of dumpsters and landfills, and I try to buy things used if I can for the same reason.

Both my cats (and all of our future animals) are from the Humane Society. I also donate tons upon tons of items to Goodwill yearly. When I was more fit, I used to do charity walks and races. I volunteered for beach clean ups, theatre work, and Ronald McDonald house.

Does this make me a better person? Not necessarily. It doesn't make me any better than anyone else. I do feel better about myself though, which makes me continue to do it. I think giving and donating time/money is a personal choice, and not everyone has the same outlook on it.

I think the purchase of purses is also a personal choice. I love bags, and if I had the money, I'd definitely own a lot more of them regardless of cost. Just because you feel a little uncomfortable spending that amount of money on a purse doesn't mean that the women willing to buy them are wrong in any way.

Also, you need to keep in mind that the impact of a high-end purse differs according to income, age, and lifestyle. When I was a student I would never have purchased a bag over $200- I would have felt guilty for weeks. But now, only a $2,000+ purse would probably make me feel like that. Give me ten years and I'll probably be able to comfortably buy whatever purse I want without feeling the way you feel about buying purses.

Oh yeah- a shout out to my favorite charity- Children's Miracle Network

I use their hotline all the time, and the services they offer really helped my family during our time of need.

[socalgem]

Originally Posted by Demosthenes

Just because you feel a little uncomfortable spending that amount of money on a purse doesn't mean that the women willing to buy them are wrong in any way.

ITA. If I can afford what I buy, then it's my business and not someone else.

I donate and volunteer because I want to, not because I just spent 3k on a bag.

[Zophie]

I donate money when I feel it's a worthy cause. Off the top of my head I can think of giving money to Red Cross and Pennies for Police Dogs (to get bullet proof vests for dogs on the force.) There's others but I can't think of them now. I don't feel a "need" to be charitable, but do it when I feel that my money will make a difference.

[socalgem]

Originally Posted by Zophie

I donate money when I feel it's a worthy cause. Off the top of my head I can think of giving money to Red Cross and Pennies for Police Dogs (to get bullet proof vests for dogs on the force.) There's others but I can't think of them now. I don't feel a "need" to be charitable, but do it when I feel that my money will make a difference.

I never heard of Pennies for Police Dogs, that is a great cause.

[missisa07]

I donate rather randomly. Random fundraisers, etc etc.

I don't make that much since I'm a full-time student and only a part-time worker. I do donate time though. Once a week I volunteer at a local medical clinic that is 100% free to the uninsured. I agree with lorihmatthews. You can't always put a price on time.

[Nola]

I do what I can, but I always want to do so much more. I´ve done care packages and money donations to various animal shelters. I try to give a money donation/item donation monthly to at least 2 rescue dog sites. I´ve done volunteer work for raising awareness on animal wellfare. I´ve called those hotlines when they are raising money for children in need, children´s hospitals etc. I´ve adopted a kitty from a shelter.

-A good thing to remember is; there is so much more you can do than just give money.

When we get our pug I would like to see if he/she is a candidate for a "friendship dog" which would mean we would go to monthly visits to homes/hospices for old people as they get very lonely + I would be interested in working with disabled/autistic children as a therapy dog trainer.