The 'Curbing Consumerism' Club...Come On In!!!!

[dr. twiggers]

OK.....I thought this could be a thread for those of us who think we'd like to curb our spending....whether it's out of control or not. I need to. This is not a thread to judge people, etc. If someone wants advice they'll ask for it. I'd like to keep this relatively drama free, and really to be a support outlet.

If you're comfortable....maybe we could all start by saying why we want to do this, what our situations are, and what goals, etc. we have. Then we can use this thread throughout the year for support, and basically as something that might help hold us accountable. For example, I plan on being very frank about what my goals are throughout the year....and very detailed. I need to be. This is the only way I can keep on track.

My background:

DH & I were always average income. We struggled at times. During those times there were always credit card companies willing to offer us credit. We started out very conscientious about our spending. We always paid that one card off every month. But then the store cards, etc. But we always managed to pay them off.

Then we decided to buy a house. Financially, we were not ready for it. But it was California and we thought we could flip it. Well, after paying for all kinds of crap, and furnishing it, and all the Mello Roos and homeowners fees and taxes....we didn't really end up ahead. What we did was live in a very upper-class neighborhood that we had no business being in. At this point we were barely making the mortgage. We sold it a year later because we knew we were leaving the state and we *made* $20000 on it...and were probably about 20K in the hole in credit cards.

I also transferred schools. My first 2 years I went to a junior college and took out no student loans. But then I transferred to a UC...and with only my DHs income and the huge house payment we couldn't afford tuition. So I borrowed. I tried to borrow the bare minimum. After 2 years of that I was $25000 in student loan debt. And we were about 35K in credit card debt. We just bought crap. We bought an RV because our friends had one. We were always trying to keep up with the Joneses. We bought ATVs because our friends had them. We bought one for 5K and hubby rolled it down a hill the first day....no insurance on them...and then he bought another one the next day.

Then I decided to go to grad school and move to Indiana. We used the entire $20000 as a down payment on a house in Indiana. DH wasn't working and neither was I so we had to do that to qualify for the mortgage. So we get to Indiana....it cost us another 5K in credit cards to get across the country. Then another 2K to decorate the house and install security system, etc. (We lived in the really really bad part of town so it was necessary). Hubby was on unemployment for 3 months. I borrowed 13K in student loans so we could survive that first year. Hubby gets a job and gets diagnosed with cancer...15K in credit card bills to cover all his medical costs. Find out there is no cancer....but we have the debt. Buy a new truck....13K upside down on it...leased it so we're stuck with it for 4 years with horrendous payment.

Year 2 in Indiana. DH is making very very good money. We decide to sell the house in the bad part of town after a drive by shooting in front of our house. Lose 6 months of house payments because it won't sell. Lost 5K on the selling price. Bought new house in a fancy schmancy suburb where all the middle upper-class live. Great house. Need to furnish it...spend another 5K on CCs. Borrowed more student loans to pay off high interest rate loans...another 14K or so. Discovered tPF and spent around 20K on purses. Majority on credit cards.

Year 3. Hubby making the most he has ever made in his life. Income wise we are doing great. Borrowed another 13K in student loans because hubby wanted motorcycle, I bought purses, and then we paid off one of the ATVs because the interest rate was going to increase.

12/2007. I realize that this is sickening and it has to stop. I am living this complete lie. My god, who am I that I need to be walking around with these 1200 purses. My plan is to live 'poor' over the next year to tackle this mountain of debt. I mention it to hubby and he says 'NO' he doesn't want to live this way. Granted, he doesn't spend a lot of money.....I need to maybe figure out an allowance for him so he doesn't touch the bank account.

Where are we at with debt? About 60K in credit card debt. Monthly payments (minimum payment) are at about $1200 per month. That is a purse a month. It's really sick. I look around my house at the crap I bought....WTF is wrong with me?
I also have about 60K in student loans. Those are all on deferment right now. I pay the monthly interest on the ones that require it. I'm not worried about that right now....I'm really not. I'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

.....continued in next post what my goals are....WOW I'm really going to submit this thread. Some people may think badly of me....but you know what? At least I am admitting it. I know there are quite a few people on here who struggle financially and pay for all those purses with CCs too and don't pay them off every month.....so I'm not asking for anyone to judge me. I made my bed and I will lay in it. I'm doing this to hold myself accountable and to try to be a better person.

And I hope....that maybe this thread can help a bunch of people throughout the year....that we can all support one another.

[dr. twiggers]

My GOALS:

I am working through these right now....trying to formulate a game plan for next year.

Step 1: Figure out where the needless spending goes every month.

DH and I used to spend about 2K a month gambling. In fact, about 5 months ago I sold all my LVs to fund Balenciagas...well about 7K of it went to gambling in one month. We agreed not to do it anymore.

I don't do manicures, pedicures...so can't cut expenses there. I buy clothes.....maybe 4 times a year I splurge...usually on a CC. That needs to stop.

I only get my haircut 3x a year...and I get it colored 3x too. Guess what? No more color...and reduce the haircut to 2x a year.

Little things like this.

One possibility I thought of....everytime I think of wasting money on a non-essential then I take that cash and put it in the savings account. At the end of every month I put it on the designated CC.

DH and I eat out every single week. Sometimes 3x a week. That needs to stop.

DH eats out lunch every day. I can't stop him from doing it though. Maybe if I tried to make him lunches everyday?

I only eat out once a week $7.00 a week. I'd like to keep it...but I'm willing to give it up.
I am guilty of buying soda in the soda machine alot...need to reduce that.

I'm planning on starting a healthy living regimen too....maybe that will cut down on grocery costs.

I need to cook more....cooking more reduces eating out bills.

My plan of attack is to keep track of bills every month now. I need to pick a CC every month that I want to attack. I'll probably post a list with the amount & interest rate to get ideas on which to tackle in what order. I'll make minimum payments on the rest and tackle the one and then CUT IT UP!!!! This is our biggest problem...we pay off cards all the time...but then we rack it up again.

[dr. twiggers]

OK.....so if anyone else wants to share...you don't need to be as crazy detailed as me!!!!

Maybe you have other reasons for doing this.....I know that I've gotten a couple PMs about this from several people...and they've cited various reasons for wanting to do this. Not all financial.

Let's support one another. Let's use this as an outlet to vent/cry/share/support. If you see something that is tempting you....post here....so we can help steer you back on track.


As we get closer to the new year I hope to have a complete list of what I want to change in my spending and get your opinions!

[Allisonfaye]

Wow, Twiggers. That is quite a story. First of all, let me say that I am happy to hear your husband is ok and that he doesn't have cancer after all.

I am not comfortable sharing the financial details but we have a good debt going. My husband makes about 30% of his income in bonus and because he works for an insurance company, they skipped paying out bonuses after Katrina. That year, we moved from a 1500 sf townhome to a 4400 sf house and spent a ton on furniture, drapes, property taxes, etc at the worst possible time. We are decorating room by room. So although our interest rates on our debt aren't huge, I hate having debt. I am really bad about buying stuff. I bought a couple of nice pieces of jewelry, and also about 12 purses, about one a month. I wish I could stop coming on TPF. I don't have anything on my wish list now and I am planning on not buying any purses in 2008. I keep thinking I will be better but then I see a new pair of shoes or a cute top and I am back at it again.

[Allisonfaye]

Twiggers, I just wanted to share a thought I had while reading your second post. It seems like you and your hubby are both spenders. ( I am fairly lucky that my husband isn't much of a spender.) Maybe if you made a resolution and set a goal together to be obsessive about saving money, you could be more successful.

I kind of wish I could do that with my husband but he and I got married late in life and I think that is part of the problem. We are both used to managing our own money and I think if I tried to sit down and micromanage (work together), he would get upset. And frankly, I like shopping. Also, we take a vacation to Palm Beach once a year and I find myself buying stuff to go there. It is kind of stupid. I was tempted to suggest we take a cheap vacation but my husband works sooo hard for his money and he loves that vacation.

[dr. twiggers]

Thanks for sharing Allison!!!! We could definetly support you in your quest not to buy purses this year!!!!

Yea...it's hard with DH....and I don't blame him. He works so hard so that I can be in grad school and making a paltry stipend....and I don't blame him for wanting to buy things. At one point he joked and said all he wanted was a weekly allowance....so I'm wondering if I approach him like that and say 'Hey honey, instead of taking money out of the bank let's just use cash. Here is you XXXX number of dollars a week' or something like that!!!

I know there are a lot of things I can do! I plan on going through my house again room by room and selling crap I don't need/use. Usually I donate a lot of really good stuff for the tax benefit.....but I think this is more important than the tax bill in April (which will probably hurt us this year because I think we bumped up another tax bracket again this year)!

I'm also planning on trying to do things here and there to make a little extra $$! Whatever I can do that will help pay things off :-)

[IntlSet]

Twiggers, thanks so much for your frankness in sharing your story!

My story:
I graduated college about 1.5 years ago, work (very hard, long hours!) for a firm in the design industry (not fashion, however) where everyone and everything is all about visual appearance so I find myself buying a lot of fancy clothes for work and for socializing at work events. During college, I always had my parents' credit card, and now I haven't been able to curb the spending although my parents' money is no longer there.

However, my boyfriend's money IS and he's very free and easy with it. But I do not want to be living off of someone's money if I'm not even married or engaged to him! What if he left me? If it weren't for him and I had only my own income, I would be completely broke or in debt. I really need to stop sticking my hand in his coffers.

He is, thank God, not a spender. Our only vice is eating out, which we do because neither of us likes to cook and we both work very long hours. We don't really take trips of vacations together, we don't have any habits or hobbies that take up too much money. It's mostly just me out there by myself spending all kinds of money that's not even mine on all kinds of things I don't even want...

As I said, I know my spending is becoming a HABIT rather than a choice. I don't want to wake up with credit card debt in order to get my act together, I want to nip this in the bud. And I want to curb it because it's truly an indication of a huge character flaw: that I am simple-minded enough to believe that I can somehow buy the life I want. I am the kind of idiot that has actually uttered one of the marketing world's favorite, overused and oxymoronic vocabulary words: "lifestyle." And I'm not even buying my "lifestyle" with my own money. That's a shame. I refuse to be taken in like an idiot by the marketing machine that says I must have this, or that -- I'm IN marketing, after all, so I know what a sham it all really is.

[Liberté]

I'm curbing my consumerism by skimping necesseties like food. I'm not in debt though, but want to save more money for the future.

Twiggers, I hope you manage to work things out and that this thread can grow into supporting everyone who needs it. From the "secrets" thread it seems like it's needed. =)

[dr. twiggers]

Hey Intl! Thank you for sharing! It was your original post in the GD area that really got me thinking about this!!!!

I think I'm doing the same thing....I want to be like the Joneses....I want to look like the girls in the magazines. But really....when I open my closet I grab Uggs (yea....I know...I should be wearing the $20 ones from Payless in my situation) and sweats (yea....Juicy ones...because gee...for $150 they are worth it, right?). I tried to wear makeup....but really...I don't think I like it. IDK. I know there are other issues at the root of all of this....ones I hope to deal with eventually! But yea....I've bought into the hype too!
I still remember the days when I thought $30 jeans at Old Navy was expensive...and now I don't flinch when I buy $300 COH jeans. It's really bad!!!

So I hope we, this group, can be a support for your Intl!!!! I hope you'll visit a whole lot throughout the year!

[dr. twiggers]

Originally Posted by Liberté

I'm curbing my consumerism by skimping necesseties like food. I'm not in debt though, but want to save more money for the future. Twiggers, I hope you manage to work things out and that this thread can grow into supporting everyone who needs it. From the "secrets" thread it seems like it's needed. =)

Ahhh food....seriously...we spend so much on it!!!! It's pretty bad. I'm hoping that my diet (starting 1/1) will help to decrease my food spending too!!!!

Yea....I noticed quite a few 'secrets' had to do with debt/finances....I hope many of those find their way here!

[Cat]

Twiggers I'd like to commend you on starting this thread,I'm sure it will benefit many who take time to read it and have the strength to admit they are struggling with their debt and spending.

I don't have to deal with these issues myself,but wish you well on your quest to become debt free.

[dr. twiggers]

Thanks Cat!!!! I hope that more than just people struggling with debt can join in....but others who just feel that maybe their spending has gotten a bit out of control!

[EmilyAnne_SD]

Twiggers---I LIKE YOU!! Your frankness and openness with sharing your personal journey kind of brings me to tears, literally. No joke. I struggle with similar things you are struggling with--DH is not a spender, but I am. Competing with the Joneses--I say I don't care, but sometimes I do. I have a ton of student loans, but worth it in my opinion because I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't follow through with my academic goals. Credit card debt--yeah, we have that, but we're working it out and managing well.

Just a month or so ago, I was wondering why I was so huffy and puffy around my dear sweet unassuming husband. After reflecting for days on why I had been such a b****h to him, I realized that not telling him about what I've been spending was eating away at me. So one night, we sat down and a had a heart to heart talk. My husband didn't get upset with me--I wanted him to though! He just held my hand and said something to the effect of, "I know that spending money is your release and I know what you did is not benenficial for the family. I still love you and we'll get through this together. We always do." Our current finances are in order--it's just that the stupid things I bought over the past 2 years are just, well, worthless when I think about it. It's hard to go cold turkey, no? Yeah, and I have a new LV coming to me next week.

Anyway, I REALLY appreciate you sharing your story. As I was reading it, I thought, "OMG. Am I reading about myself?" I'll be checking in to this thread often for sure!

[dr. twiggers]

Thanks Emily! I really appreciate it!!!! The good thing is that DH & I know everything about what we spend. Pretty much anything over $100 we call each other first....and major purchases (like bags and stuff) we always discussed ahead of time.

In addition to spending changes I need to make changes to the things I do online. One gal I was PMing mentioned deleting bookmarks, etc. I've since deleted links to let-trade, Anns Fabulous Finds, RealDealCollection. I need to remove amazon.com and my kaboodle wishlists. Fantasizing about things just makes it worse I think.

Other ideas I had were to limit where I go on tPF. Because I know....if I keep going into Balenciaga and see the new S/S bags being released I'll start rationalizing why I can afford a $1200 bag.

Maybe we can all share tips and tricks for how we avoid the temptation of spending, etc.

I hope it doesn't annoy anyone or tick anyone off....but I would really like to be frank and open about everything. My DH isn't going to be the support system (in fact, when I told him I wanted to start selling my bags to pay off CCs he said 'no wait honey, don't sell them until we can't afford the minimum payments or if I lose my job'....that is just the wrong way of thinking) that I need.

[elizat]

Oh, I'll join in here. I don't spend much on bags compared to some, but for me it is a lot...

About me: I am a single, baby lawyer (less than five years of practice) w/ tons of student loan debt, a mortgage and all the usual bill payments. I need to consciously save money for a three month cushion, but by the time all the bills are paid and groceries there is close to nothing left. My big raise is supposed to kick in as of January and that will make a BIG difference. BUT- I need to be conscious as to what I am spending to actually save. I use credit, but not a lot. I don't really spend on extras- like going out, eating out, or drive a nice car. I get takeout about once a month and it is usually less than 10 bucks. But, I just have so many bills that what comes in, automatically goes out... ugggh.

I need to stop buying things because they are on sale. I need to realize I don't NEED things and stop myself. I am pretty frugal, but that is my weakness. I do that too much, especially if I am sad or feeling stressed. If I would have skipped the HH sample sale, I'd have another 100 bucks to my name, but instead, I have a bag that is okay, but not great. What did it get me? It does not sound like a lot, but I'd actually get a return if I had put it toward a student loan payment for principal. I need to save and stop emotional spending!