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sunnidaze · Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:40 PM

A friend I don't like that much (you know...one of those in your group of friends that you end up seeing because everyone is in that group) asked I forward his resume for an open position at my company or if there's a specific HR contact he could email it to. What's a diplomatic way of saying no? It seems quite impossible to say "I don't know who the HR contact is." I wouldn't want to be caught in a lie, asking him to go through the proper channel (company website), and if he is called in for an interview and perhaps they ask, he learns I didn't forward his resume intentionally.

I can't vouch for his work ethic, although his resume seems to meet the basic requirements. Maybe I'm just a small person, as the main reason I don't want to forward his resume is because I'm not fond of him and the prospect as future colleagues together is greatly dismaying.

peace43 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 11:52 PM

Does your company require that all resumes be sent through their electronic resume database system? If so, just use that as an excuse that you can't forward the person's resume because of your company's HR/Staffing requirements.

sunnidaze · Nov 4th, 2009, 12:13 AM

No, rather we are all encouraged to let HR know if we know of a suitable candidate.

lorihmatthews · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:11 AM

He's going to find out the name of the correct person if he wants to, so I'd just tell him who the contact is and have him send his resume directly.

If by chance he goes through the interview process, then you can give your input on whether you think he's a suitable candidate or not. Otherwise there's really no sense in trying to block him. If HR asks you if you think he's a good choice, you can bow out at that time and say you don't know him that well to comment on his professional skills.

Allisonfaye · Nov 4th, 2009, 07:53 AM

I agree with Lori. Give him the name of the person but don't let him put you down as a reference. If he asks, just say you can't since you have never worked with him.

digby723 · Nov 4th, 2009, 11:24 AM

Even if he puts you down as a reference tell someone that you are really only an acquaintance of his, you really don't know him that well. That's what happened to me, a colleague from one job found me at my next job, applied and put me down as a refrence. When my boss asked me about it, I told him that while we worked together for about 6 months, we were in different areas of work, so I really couldn't vouch for his work ethic. Good luck to you!

he432 · Nov 4th, 2009, 11:44 AM

Tell him that there are no open positions right now, but if he wants to be added to the company's database for the future he needs to submit through the website.

Also, depending on how big your company is, you can always talk to HR, say that you do know the person but you can't vouch for their work ethic/abilities.

shy*violet · Nov 4th, 2009, 11:33 PM

I don't think it's so awful to just say you aren't comfortable passing along his name since you are only really acquaintances.

If he does put you as a reference, the chances are pretty high that the hiring manager will come talk to you about him. You can take that opportunity to tell him that you are only really acquaintances and he didn't get your approval to add you as a reference.

quality bags · Nov 7th, 2009, 05:46 AM

I'll just give him the company's official website and ask him to look under "career". Or if there is a general email for HR I will give it to him but I will not give him the specific HR personnel's contact and name because you automatically becomes the job referrer because he will mention your name.

GhstDreamer · Nov 7th, 2009, 09:50 AM

Just give him the HR contact email and he will forward his resume to him/her. It doesn't sound from your first post that he's asking you as a reference just submitting in a resume to HR for him or asking for the HR contact email. I don't see the harm in it. It appears that you fear he may be qualified for the open position and you just don't want to work with him in case he gets hired. In a way it sounds a bit petty - I mean we all work with people we don't necessarily like but we still have to.

xostephie · Nov 7th, 2009, 10:59 AM

If it were me and I really felt uncomfortable about it, I would just say something to the effect of "as much as i would love to help, I just don't feel comfortable referring people". It's possible he could take it the wrong way, but even if you do send him to the website, there's normally a 'who referred you' box. As well, if they like his resume and call him for an interview, he can say "well so and so referred me" which ropes you in. I think just being honest and saying going to bat for someone at your job just isn't the most comfortable situation would probably be better.

ShopGirl647 · Nov 9th, 2009, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by lorihmatthews

He's going to find out the name of the correct person if he wants to, so I'd just tell him who the contact is and have him send his resume directly.

If by chance he goes through the interview process, then you can give your input on whether you think he's a suitable candidate or not. Otherwise there's really no sense in trying to block him. If HR asks you if you think he's a good choice, you can bow out at that time and say you don't know him that well to comment on his professional skills.

tough one but I would have said the same thing^^^

Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:40 PM	#1
sunnidaze OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Location: New York City Posts: 29	How to say no to forwarding a "friend's" resume? A friend I don't like that much (you know...one of those in your group of friends that you end up seeing because everyone is in that group) asked I forward his resume for an open position at my company or if there's a specific HR contact he could email it to. What's a diplomatic way of saying no? It seems quite impossible to say "I don't know who the HR contact is." I wouldn't want to be caught in a lie, asking him to go through the proper channel (company website), and if he is called in for an interview and perhaps they ask, he learns I didn't forward his resume intentionally. I can't vouch for his work ethic, although his resume seems to meet the basic requirements. Maybe I'm just a small person, as the main reason I don't want to forward his resume is because I'm not fond of him and the prospect as future colleagues together is greatly dismaying.

Nov 3rd, 2009, 11:52 PM	#2
peace43 Member Joined: Nov 2006 Location: USA Posts: 5,202	Does your company require that all resumes be sent through their electronic resume database system? If so, just use that as an excuse that you can't forward the person's resume because of your company's HR/Staffing requirements.
	__________________ My collection....

Nov 4th, 2009, 01:11 AM	#4
lorihmatthews Fall is here! Joined: Oct 2006 Location: San Francisco Posts: 11,036	He's going to find out the name of the correct person if he wants to, so I'd just tell him who the contact is and have him send his resume directly. If by chance he goes through the interview process, then you can give your input on whether you think he's a suitable candidate or not. Otherwise there's really no sense in trying to block him. If HR asks you if you think he's a good choice, you can bow out at that time and say you don't know him that well to comment on his professional skills.
	__________________ My blog: Part-time Fashion for a Full-time Life Twitter: lorihmatthews

Nov 4th, 2009, 07:53 AM	#5
Allisonfaye Member Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 5,609	I agree with Lori. Give him the name of the person but don't let him put you down as a reference. If he asks, just say you can't since you have never worked with him.
Allisonfaye Member Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 5,609	__________________ If you can afford it, for God's sake, BUY SOMETHING!

Nov 4th, 2009, 11:24 AM	#6
digby723 Member Joined: May 2006 Location: VA Beach Posts: 3,790	Even if he puts you down as a reference tell someone that you are really only an acquaintance of his, you really don't know him that well. That's what happened to me, a colleague from one job found me at my next job, applied and put me down as a refrence. When my boss asked me about it, I told him that while we worked together for about 6 months, we were in different areas of work, so I really couldn't vouch for his work ethic. Good luck to you!
	__________________

Nov 4th, 2009, 12:13 AM	#3
sunnidaze OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Location: New York City Posts: 29	No, rather we are all encouraged to let HR know if we know of a suitable candidate.

Nov 4th, 2009, 11:44 AM	#7
he432 sofa king awesome Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,104	Tell him that there are no open positions right now, but if he wants to be added to the company's database for the future he needs to submit through the website. Also, depending on how big your company is, you can always talk to HR, say that you do know the person but you can't vouch for their work ethic/abilities.
he432 sofa king awesome Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,104	__________________ R.I.P. Goobler July 18, 2008

Nov 4th, 2009, 11:33 PM	#8
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,286	I don't think it's so awful to just say you aren't comfortable passing along his name since you are only really acquaintances. If he does put you as a reference, the chances are pretty high that the hiring manager will come talk to you about him. You can take that opportunity to tell him that you are only really acquaintances and he didn't get your approval to add you as a reference.
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,286	__________________ I want a teal bag, dangit!

Nov 7th, 2009, 05:46 AM	#9
quality bags Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 99	I'll just give him the company's official website and ask him to look under "career". Or if there is a general email for HR I will give it to him but I will not give him the specific HR personnel's contact and name because you automatically becomes the job referrer because he will mention your name.
quality bags Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 99	Last edited by quality bags; Nov 7th, 2009 at 05:53 AM.

Nov 7th, 2009, 09:50 AM	#10
GhstDreamer Lady Philosophy Joined: May 2008 Location: Where gavagai roam Posts: 2,408	Just give him the HR contact email and he will forward his resume to him/her. It doesn't sound from your first post that he's asking you as a reference just submitting in a resume to HR for him or asking for the HR contact email. I don't see the harm in it. It appears that you fear he may be qualified for the open position and you just don't want to work with him in case he gets hired. In a way it sounds a bit petty - I mean we all work with people we don't necessarily like but we still have to.
	__________________ On those nights full of sad omens, just run through the darkness. Wishlist: Goyard Boeing 30 in Black and Guccissima Icon Bit Boston ~I really really need to be on a ban~

Nov 7th, 2009, 10:59 AM	#11
xostephie Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 292	If it were me and I really felt uncomfortable about it, I would just say something to the effect of "as much as i would love to help, I just don't feel comfortable referring people". It's possible he could take it the wrong way, but even if you do send him to the website, there's normally a 'who referred you' box. As well, if they like his resume and call him for an interview, he can say "well so and so referred me" which ropes you in. I think just being honest and saying going to bat for someone at your job just isn't the most comfortable situation would probably be better.
xostephie Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 292

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