[MassLaw15]

Hi Layney! You had nicely commented on my thread a day or two ago in regards to my "needing to be a big girl" & sell 90% of my designer goodies...well I just wanted to say Hi & that I think this is a great thread!

I am not telling my self specifically that I am on a bag ban because I just don't do well w/ the word No BUT I am also not compulsively shopping any more either! SUCH a BIG step! Some things that have been helpful to me:

If you are @ a store & are freaking out about NOT buying something & leaving it there then I do buy it & that feeling is squelched. After I bring it home, realize it's mine & actually come down off the high of the purchase I am now able to look at it & say "why did I buy that? I don't need it & I don't even want it". Have only needed to buy "it" twice since reigning in my finances & have returned both w/ in days.

Also just putting it in the shopping cart & walking around w/ it & then I abandon the shopping cart & leave. Strange but true.

Also WAIT before you purchase. On eBay just watch it, don't bid, don't buy & it actually feels GOOD when you see the high bid for XXXX & you know it wasn't YOUR money!

I am really starting to believe & appreciate that less is more. Less to organize, less to clean, less to move, less to make sure your dog/cat/child doesn't throw up on it, pee on it, chew it etc.

Two things I have recently enjoyed & realized here on TPF is the whole TPF & living beyond your means thread is soooo true & to somewhat style yourself after the steriotypical French woman. They have their basics & then their simple but elegant accesories. We don't need 25 bags, 100 shoes, 15 coats etc, etc, etc. Buy quality (w/in reason of $) not quantity & make sure you love it, need it, will use it & it satifies THAT itch. Don't buy 180 pieces of Coach because you really want one signature LV piece, KWIM?

Anywho...after that long rant...threads on saving money, managing our finances & becoming healthier financially are EXCELLENT! Thank you!

[GyrlLayney]

Hey MassLaw! Thanks for dropping in and giving us all some great words of wisdom. I'm trying to get as much inspiration from others here and your thread ---> I have to be a big girl & let them go... <--- was quite an eye-opener... I truly applaud you for what you're doing: you have regained focus on what's REALLY important in your life which I also hope is right around the corner for me and my BB buddies...

[ms p]

Originally Posted by MassLaw15

Also just putting it in the shopping cart & walking around w/ it & then I abandon the shopping cart & leave. Strange but true.

u are not strange because that's what i do lol . most of my friends cannot stand shopping with me because i spend hours shopping in the same area, walking in rounds, looking at everything, saw something i like and than agonize over should i buy and the analysing part takes Time . the worst part (to my friend) is i usually end up not buying and friends felt time was wasted. however i'm happy of the process of shopping and even happier that i overcome my urge to buy .

glad that u doing well! keep it up!! .

[MassLaw15]

Originally Posted by petrina_yeo

u are not strange because that's what i do lol . most of my friends cannot stand shopping with me because i spend hours shopping in the same area, walking in rounds, looking at everything, saw something i like and than agonize over should i buy and the analysing part takes Time . the worst part (to my friend) is i usually end up not buying and friends felt time was wasted. however i'm happy of the process of shopping and even happier that i overcome my urge to buy .

glad that u doing well! keep it up!! .

Thank you! Clearly, we should shop together! I can spend HOURS in a department store & by the end I'm okay w/ walking away from the cart OR going & putting everything back!

[MassLaw15]

Originally Posted by GyrlLayney

Hey MassLaw! Thanks for dropping in and giving us all some great words of wisdom. I'm trying to get as much inspiration from others here and your thread ---> I have to be a big girl & let them go... <--- was quite an eye-opener... I truly applaud you for what you're doing: you have regained focus on what's REALLY important in your life which I also hope is right around the corner for me and my BB buddies...

Hi Layney! Thanks!

[annemerrick]

OK...Here's my story:

Not so long ago (Okay, maybe 10 years)....I only shopped second-hand, and at garage sales and Salvation Army. For me...it was the thrill of the hunt...
The one year, I received the NM Fall look book...I never shopped at NM (only my DH), and there on the front was a gorgeous faux crocodile bag...that I could not imagine living without. Price tag $350. At the time, I felt giddy and nervous about the cost, but my sweet husband felt that no expense should be spared for me! Next I was gifted with a Prada backpack and then a Fendi bag...and an addiction was born!
Soon after, we moved to Hong Kong...where it was more than easy to feed this addiction because of the wealth of second-hand handbag shops. So I did, and my collection grew....UNTIL...just a few months ago, when my DH ran into some serious problems with his company...and I have had to stop buying bags cold turkey!! No purchase in 3 months...and no forseeable one coming!! I think I have about 25 designer bags...and no idea what that collection is worth...and it should absolutely be enough....and for right now it is, but it is really strange to not even be able to contemplate another bag purchase!

[Junkenpo]

I'm hopping onto this thread bc the "real world" has started intruding on my fantasy bag land and I find myself ridiculously torn between the cost of things I need (furniture, laptop, school supplies, etc) and comparing it to an equally expensive purse... and still wanting to get the purse.

I've managed to make my procrastination work for me... I don't tell myself "no", I tell myself "later".... I've got 1 LV purse & an LV agenda... I adore both & right now I'm at the "just one more...!" stage, as I'm waiting on the release of an LE item...

Thanks for giving me a place to dig in my heels & take a breather!

[StinkyMonkey]

Yeah, uh. I must join this ban wagon.
I just realized that with the money I spent on my last bag I could have bought the dinnette set I wanted for the kitchen.....
hm. Somethings not right there.

[MassLaw15]

Originally Posted by StinkyMonkey

Yeah, uh. I must join this ban wagon.
I just realized that with the money I spent on my last bag I could have bought the dinnette set I wanted for the kitchen.....
hm. Somethings not right there.

Tell me about it! When DH realized how much of a debt hole I had put us in over the last 2 years, he says "Wow!, We could have both bought new cars w/o payments & still had money left over!" Now I look at my 10 year old car (which has been wonderful to me) & think "Hope she doesn't sh*t the bed 'cuz I ain't got no money becuase I spent car payment after car payment at LV & Chanel, WTF?

My priorities have definitely done a 180 & I can only hope, pray & read this thread that it stays that way!

[MassLaw15]

Originally Posted by annemerrick

OK...Here's my story:

Not so long ago (Okay, maybe 10 years)....I only shopped second-hand, and at garage sales and Salvation Army. For me...it was the thrill of the hunt...
The one year, I received the NM Fall look book...I never shopped at NM (only my DH), and there on the front was a gorgeous faux crocodile bag...that I could not imagine living without. Price tag $350. At the time, I felt giddy and nervous about the cost, but my sweet husband felt that no expense should be spared for me! Next I was gifted with a Prada backpack and then a Fendi bag...and an addiction was born!
Soon after, we moved to Hong Kong...where it was more than easy to feed this addiction because of the wealth of second-hand handbag shops. So I did, and my collection grew....UNTIL...just a few months ago, when my DH ran into some serious problems with his company...and I have had to stop buying bags cold turkey!! No purchase in 3 months...and no forseeable one coming!! I think I have about 25 designer bags...and no idea what that collection is worth...and it should absolutely be enough....and for right now it is, but it is really strange to not even be able to contemplate another bag purchase!

Hi Anne! I had read about your situation on another thread & must say it gave me inspiration for myself. I thought if this woman (who looks so pretty & well to do in her avatar pic) can live in Hong Kong (such a fashion & label society) & dig her heels in, then I can too!

Congrats on your 3 months! And thanks for posting your story. I think its really important to know we aren't alone!

[GyrlLayney]

Originally Posted by petrina_yeo

u are not strange because that's what i do lol . most of my friends cannot stand shopping with me because i spend hours shopping in the same area, walking in rounds, looking at everything, saw something i like and than agonize over should i buy and the analysing part takes Time . the worst part (to my friend) is i usually end up not buying and friends felt time was wasted. however i'm happy of the process of shopping and even happier that i overcome my urge to buy .

glad that u doing well! keep it up!! .

MassLaw and Petrina - I have a best friend who is like the two of you! We have shopped together since we were teens all the way to present, and we're both now married with children. She does the same thing - we hit a bunch of stores in malls or outlets, etc, and altho things pique her interest, she usually buys hardly anything (and she makes a lot of money) but I end up buying too much (and I make peanuts comparatively speaking).

I never got mad at her but instead admired her discipline and I'd get mad at myself for lacking same and NOT analyzing a purchase before diving in. She is such a careful shopper that when she does commit to buying something, she ends up STILL loving AND using many of the things she bought years ago, even handbags!

On the other hand, I find myself falling "out of love" with something I bought, doing a lot of returns and generally feeling buyer's remorse 7 out of 10 times I shop for myself. Altho that statistic has improved since joining tPF...

[GyrlLayney]

Originally Posted by petrina_yeo

hi GyrlLayney thank u for the welcome. the truth is i'm usually very good at spending little money -> except when it comes to bags now lol. many of my friends couldn't believe that i buy designer bags . i see that subconsciously i have the 5-months-to-buy-another-bag pattern going on and i hope to break this pattern soon (ya but i'm still going ahead to buy another bag in aug .) i'll try to be strong after that .

i like what u wrote "a bag that was a phenomenal deal suddenly goes right back up to retail price in NO time at all when you add up the interest racked up because of the unpaid credit card balance" . i used to have many credit cards and i'm always scare at the total amount of credit i can get when i add all the cards up. the thought that i can go crazy and get myself in huge debt really terified me. as such one day i decided i seriously do not need all the cc and cancelled most of the cc. now i've 2 cc left -> 1 visa and 1 master call me weird but i "need" one each .

to all and may we all achieve our goal soon.

I'm taking the following drastic measures to reduce my $5K cc debt and help me avoid further temptation that might entice me to break my ban:

1. I will transfer my current $5k cc debt to a new Discover Platinum card which allows a no-fee 0% balance transfer until Sept. 08.

2. I will freeze all other cc's in a block of ice and store them in the freezer. (I read somewhere that it's better for my credit rating to keep at least the oldest credit card open with a paid balance rather than cancelling all of them completely)

3. I am erasing all of my cc numbers from the bag sites I frequent (NM, BG, Overstock, BlueFly, NAP, Jomashop, etc.).

4. I will work more hours per week to earn additional funds to pay off my cc debt as quickly as possible.

5. I will also sell any thing that I don't love and/or use anymore to earn extra funds to pay off my cc debt

6. I will erase all of my bookmarks/favorites which I found on Deals & Steals, etc.

7. I will unsubscribe from the Email updates from all bag sites.

To stay honest, I will update this thread with my progress... say a prayer for me my BB Babes!

[GyrlLayney]

Originally Posted by annemerrick

OK...Here's my story:

Not so long ago (Okay, maybe 10 years)....I only shopped second-hand, and at garage sales and Salvation Army. For me...it was the thrill of the hunt...
The one year, I received the NM Fall look book...I never shopped at NM (only my DH), and there on the front was a gorgeous faux crocodile bag...that I could not imagine living without. Price tag $350. At the time, I felt giddy and nervous about the cost, but my sweet husband felt that no expense should be spared for me! Next I was gifted with a Prada backpack and then a Fendi bag...and an addiction was born!
Soon after, we moved to Hong Kong...where it was more than easy to feed this addiction because of the wealth of second-hand handbag shops. So I did, and my collection grew....UNTIL...just a few months ago, when my DH ran into some serious problems with his company...and I have had to stop buying bags cold turkey!! No purchase in 3 months...and no forseeable one coming!! I think I have about 25 designer bags...and no idea what that collection is worth...and it should absolutely be enough....and for right now it is, but it is really strange to not even be able to contemplate another bag purchase!

Hey Anne - thanks so much for sharing your story with us! Sorry to hear about your husband's troubles with his business... at least he has an understanding wife who has already gone a full 3 months without spending on herself. MassLaw is right - you are an inspiration!

Keep it up and keep your eye on what's really important: your marriage to that sweet man who once showered you with luxuries and altho he's at a lowpoint now, he'll soon bounce back (with the help of your love, faith and support) and you'll be back in the high life again!

[Virginia]

Originally Posted by GyrlLayney

I'm taking the following drastic measures to reduce my $5K cc debt and help me avoid further temptation that might entice me to break my ban:

1. I will transfer my current $5k cc debt to a new Discover Platinum card which allows a no-fee 0% balance transfer until Sept. 08.

2. I will freeze all other cc's in a block of ice and store them in the freezer. (I read somewhere that it's better for my credit rating to keep at least the oldest credit card open with a paid balance rather than cancelling all of them completely)

3. I am erasing all of my cc numbers from the bag sites I frequent (NM, BG, Overstock, BlueFly, NAP, Jomashop, etc.).

4. I will work more hours per week to earn additional funds to pay off my cc debt as quickly as possible.

5. I will also sell any thing that I don't love and/or use anymore to earn extra funds to pay off my cc debt

6. I will erase all of my bookmarks/favorites which I found on Deals & Steals, etc.

7. I will unsubscribe from the Email updates from all bag sites.

To stay honest, I will update this thread with my progress... say a prayer for me my BB Babes!

Good luck with this GyrlLaney!! I truly hope this helps you get down to a $0 balance fast!

[GyrlLayney]

Originally Posted by Junkenpo

I'm hopping onto this thread bc the "real world" has started intruding on my fantasy bag land and I find myself ridiculously torn between the cost of things I need (furniture, laptop, school supplies, etc) and comparing it to an equally expensive purse... and still wanting to get the purse.

I've managed to make my procrastination work for me... I don't tell myself "no", I tell myself "later".... I've got 1 LV purse & an LV agenda... I adore both & right now I'm at the "just one more...!" stage, as I'm waiting on the release of an LE item...

Thanks for giving me a place to dig in my heels & take a breather!

Junkenpo - we're happy to have you here!

I love how you call it your "fantasy bag land"! That's how I feel - it's so dreamy and blissful when we shower ourselves with such decadent purchases and then *snap!* we're back to our sober reality of a boring daily grind, needy children/husband/family, increased debt, depleted savings, shirked responsibilities, unexpected detour away from our mission in life, you name it.

But is it the desire for another new bag, or the desire to experience another 'thrill of the chase' that makes us want more???