are women less "concerned" about money?

daluu · Jun 7th, 2008, 03:48 PM

i frequent the purse forum a lot. my vice would be chanel

a few months ago, i decided i wanted to buy a house so though i've been a good saver all of my life, i started surfing, reading, wondering about how other people save their money so i can get more saving tips. (whew, what a long sentence!). i want purchasing the house to happen in the near future.

i find that "money talks" is not so popular on this forum. i only say this because there's not a lot of responses on threads and not as many thread topics about it. i guess i get it, i mean, if you come here, you want to talk about bags.

i'm a single gal and i don't have a dual income to lean on if i want to get a house. i'm just wondering if you think women in general are less concerned with money or if many women have significant others that worries for them so there's not much to talk about.

just wondering out loud...and yes, i'm still saving, though slowly because of my recent chanel purchase.

tee hee.

Sternchen · Jun 7th, 2008, 04:12 PM

I am absolutely TERRIFIED of money

I'm scared of debt, etc. I'm so careful with what I spend!!

I think it's a shame that a lot of women don't take charge in their finances and don't inform themselves about their own financial situation!

Litigatrix · Jun 7th, 2008, 04:18 PM

I manage all the money in our household, and I also make the vast majority of it. I guess I feel like I pretty much know what I'm doing, so I just don't have questions all the time.

daluu · Jun 7th, 2008, 04:19 PM

the only debt i have is my school loan. otherwise, i pay off my credit cards in full and never buy what i can't afford. i have a friend who charged everything and didn't worry much about her finances during her single days. apparently, her plan was to marry a guy and have him take care of it. lucky for her, that actually happened!! she is happily married and debt free now. i'm much more realistic about that kind of stuff though...i take care of myself because i'm freaked out about bad debt.

kcf68 · Jun 7th, 2008, 05:09 PM

Oh I'm sure women on this forum worry about it but some don't care about finances. I think it depends on their situation. There are different types of people and some are more worried about money and some aren't. I have friends that don't stress about money until they have to pay the bill and wonder what they spent their money on.

Vegas Long Legs · Jun 7th, 2008, 05:29 PM

This is a great thread, OP!
I think the predominate age group on here also has to do with the lack of interest. I saw how really rough my grandmothers had it when they were old. My parents grew up during the depression. Those in their 20's & 30's now weren't exposed to that. They are the "gotta have it now" generation. Instant gratification. In the last 20 years, Marketers seem to have made them think they have to have things right now.
Its not their fault, they are just a product of the changing times.
I feel women should be more concerned about finances. (They still make 77 cents for every $1 a man makes. Plus they aren't considered for many jobs men get easily. But that is a whole different thread.)
I now have lived long enough to see those who were on top of their game in their 20's, 30's, & 40's, aren't necessarily the ones who have a nice life in their 50's, 60's, etc. Life can throw alot of changes at people.
Men who we thought were loyal, decide that they want to no longer be married. Markets change, investments are lost. Political changes can turn around jobs & incomes. Inheritances are wiped out by end of life expenses.
Every woman should have her own investments. Don't go through life thinking those bad things will never happen to me. Expect the best but plan for the worst.

kmh1190 · Jun 7th, 2008, 06:28 PM

Finances are a difficult thing to talk about. A lot of people come to this subforum and ask questions like "What should I be investing in?" "How much do you have saved up?" "How much credit card debt do you have?" etc. I'm not saying that these are not relevant questions that people can't learn from but they are hard to answer. It is hard to tell someone that no, it isn't appropriate or wise to have tens of thousands in credit card debt; yes, by your age you should have more saved up; no, you can't afford that, etc. I don't feel like I'm in any position to be giving someone specific investment information even though I have been investing for years. What works for me, may not work for the next gal. Also I think posting personal financial info can be dangerous, esp on a public forum. Just my thoughts on the matter...

pidgeon92 · Jun 7th, 2008, 06:29 PM

In my family, I am the spender and my husband is the saver. I take care of the daily finances, I let him take care of the investing. I think we have a good balance, though if I quit buying stuff we'd have a lot more invested!

BalenciagaLove · Jun 7th, 2008, 06:39 PM

I don't know if I think women are less concerned. In general, I think a lot of women are less informed, but we as a whole are getting a lot better about investment, retirement, annuities and so forth. That said, I think plenty of women are good about working on a budget.

I don't visit this forum as much because usually when I log onto tPF, it's a form of escapism. Visit my friends, chat about handbags, etc... not necessarily wanting to go into discussion about money. This may be the reason why it's not as popular. Just my two cents.

Good luck with your house! That is a major MAJOR purchase!

BigPurseSue · Jun 7th, 2008, 07:13 PM

I don't think women are any less concerned about money than men but I do think the sexes approach the topic differently.

I think a lot of the talk about money you see among men on the Internet is "sports talk." What stock's performing well, what market sector is hot. I think men often view investments like another sort of betting game. You win, you lose, you're up or you're down. Something to be watched and charted carefully each day. I don't know a lot of women who approach investing so intently as a game.

I also think many men view money as an uber-way to provide for their loved ones. If I keel over from a heart attack I want my loved ones to be provided for. That sort of thing. That's why men are the biggest customers of insurance.

Women on the other hand often view money through fear. Not all women but many. They invest because they don't want to end up as a bag lady on the street. I don't know many men who have such a fear. Women invest because they're afraid of what will happen if they don't. I would say about half of the women I know feel this way.

The other half don't have a care in the world. They can't imagine why any woman would live in fear of becoming a bag lady. They are healthy, they have a good job. Their husband is healthy and well-employed too. They believe it will always be so so they don't think about money.

Suze Orzman in her book about women and money said that when she worked as a broker she was struck by how many women didn't want to think about money. They wanted someone to babysit their money and not have to think about it at all.

The reality is that if you're going to invest wisely you need to be diligent about it. You need to watch your investments, keep tabs on them every week just like your other household expenses. You need to be as diligent about investing as you are about exercising, house-cleaning, your career, etc. Even if you hire an investment advisor you still need to be pro-active and keep careful watch on those investments and those statements. You're creating your future and you can't leave it in someone else's hands.

In the book The Millionaire Next Door the authors point out that all the ordinary-people wealth holders they surveyed reported that they spent an average of 20 hours a week managing their investments. That's quite a chunk of time when you think about it.

daluu · Jun 7th, 2008, 08:43 PM

bigpursesue- i think you are right about how the two sexes approach money differently. when i talk to men, it's about investing in stocks, taking risks, but getting a bigger bang for their buck if their investment is a good one. with women, it's about the low risk, mutual fund...slow and steady collection of interests.

like i said before, i've been a good saver all my life, but i feel like i'm just stuffing money under my mattress. i try to talk to my girlfriends about it, but they seem even more clueless than me or else they are waiting to get married. i know about roth iras, cds, etc....but i should get some books to read up on all this and see what the other investment opps are.

balenciagalove- thanks for the well wishes on the house hunt. i'm crossing my fingers too!

PurseFanatic · Jun 7th, 2008, 09:15 PM

I think women don't educate themselves as much as they should about money, which is why I'm such a huge fan of people like:
Suze Orman
Dave Ramsey
Robert Kiyosaki
etc.

We too often let men control everything. NOT ALL WOMEN, just alot. I was shocked to find out that a friend of mine who has a masters lets her boyfriend pay the bills and control the money because "it's just too much of a pain in the butt, I'd rather let him deal with it."

I love the book Suze Orman wrote "Women and Money" I suggest getting a copy. It's wonderful. It explains alot and even has an action plan in it.

ETA: After I was offered my new job, the manager (a male), told me how impressed he was that I had inquired about the matching rate for the 401K, if there was life insurance and the traditional rate of return on profits (the employees there are employee owners and get a bonus check once a year if the company profits). While I took it as a compliment it made me think, when women inquire about their money it's seen as impressive, if a man does it, it's seen as intelligent, businesslike behavior. Sexist maybe? He is a nice manager, so he didn't mean any harm, but still it makes me want to shake some fellow women I chat with who "let their husbands worry with that." Money is a worry?? I don't think so!!!

BigPurseSue · Jun 7th, 2008, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurseFanatic

I think women don't educate themselves as much as they should about money, which is why I'm such a huge fan of people like:
Suze Orman
Dave Ramsey
Robert Kiyosaki
etc.

We too often let men control everything. NOT ALL WOMEN, just alot. I was shocked to find out that a friend of mine who has a masters lets her boyfriend pay the bills and control the money because "it's just too much of a pain in the butt, I'd rather let him deal with it."

I love the book Suze Orman wrote "Women and Money" I suggest getting a copy. It's wonderful. It explains alot and even has an action plan in it.

I agree. I think Suze Orman's books are wonderful.

I don't think women talk about money with each other as often as they should. I talk about everything with my girlfriends. Sex, cars, houses, kids, everything. But everyone goes quiet when someone tries to bring up investing. Despite the fact that several gal pals do take investing courses and are members of investing clubs. Investing is like a taboo subject among us women.

The best investing advice I've gotten over the years has come from male friends. And my mom.

LadyLinda · Jun 8th, 2008, 10:26 AM

I agree, it's difficult to offer specific advice about money. Giving someone an opinion on financial questions is very different from reflecting on why someone should buy a LV speedy or a Chanel flap, Bottega Veneta hobo or one from Hayden-Harnett. Stocks, bonds, mutual funds, offer thousands of options and giving financial advice requires knowing lots more, and very personal, information about a person than is needed to offer opinions on other topics, such as handbags.

A public forum isn't the best place to reveal that kind of detail. So most of the advice we're able to give is going to be general and rooted in good sense, but not especially specific in terms of what to do.

IntlSet · Jun 8th, 2008, 10:36 AM

For my generation, the 20-somethings, I think the concern about money has become much more equalized between men and women. I know just as many guys who spend willy-nilly on all the guy stuff (televisions, cars, electronics, even clothes) as I do girls who spend willy-nilly on fashion. I think women just tend to get a worse reputation for it.

Also, the Purse Forum is NOT an accurate representation of women nor is it an accurate portrait of normal spending behavior. 99.999% of human beings on this planet do not buy $1,000+ handbags -- much less several of them. It's really important to keep one's perspective in this kind of forum, lest you be drawn up in a buying whirlwind simply because it begins to seem like the normal thing to do.

Don't forget that people aren't necessarily honestly representing their life on this forum, or even people that you know in real life. I have often wondered how certain people live, knowing what their household income must be. Barring any kind of store of family money, I can't see any possible way they live such a lavish life without being up to their eyeballs in debt. I think as long as we all use our common sense -- women and men -- we'll be fine.

Jun 7th, 2008, 03:48 PM	#1
daluu Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 293	are women less "concerned" about money? i frequent the purse forum a lot. my vice would be chanel a few months ago, i decided i wanted to buy a house so though i've been a good saver all of my life, i started surfing, reading, wondering about how other people save their money so i can get more saving tips. (whew, what a long sentence!). i want purchasing the house to happen in the near future. i find that "money talks" is not so popular on this forum. i only say this because there's not a lot of responses on threads and not as many thread topics about it. i guess i get it, i mean, if you come here, you want to talk about bags. i'm a single gal and i don't have a dual income to lean on if i want to get a house. i'm just wondering if you think women in general are less concerned with money or if many women have significant others that worries for them so there's not much to talk about. just wondering out loud...and yes, i'm still saving, though slowly because of my recent chanel purchase. tee hee.

Jun 7th, 2008, 04:12 PM	#2
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Joined: May 2006 Location: Beauty RAOK Posts: 11,176	I am absolutely TERRIFIED of money I'm scared of debt, etc. I'm so careful with what I spend!! I think it's a shame that a lot of women don't take charge in their finances and don't inform themselves about their own financial situation! __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Jun 7th, 2008, 04:18 PM	#3
Litigatrix new 'do, same cat Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Capitol Hill Posts: 5,531	I manage all the money in our household, and I also make the vast majority of it. I guess I feel like I pretty much know what I'm doing, so I just don't have questions all the time. __________________ PLEASE do not PM me for authentications. My Collection: http://forum.purseblog.com/your-bag-showcase/litigatrixs-im-modest-collection-144948.html Also, check out the Authentic Spy Picture Reference & Drool! Yay! http://pics.livejournal.com/fendi_spy_list/

Jun 7th, 2008, 05:29 PM	#6
Vegas Long Legs Member Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 3,446	This is a great thread, OP! I think the predominate age group on here also has to do with the lack of interest. I saw how really rough my grandmothers had it when they were old. My parents grew up during the depression. Those in their 20's & 30's now weren't exposed to that. They are the "gotta have it now" generation. Instant gratification. In the last 20 years, Marketers seem to have made them think they have to have things right now. Its not their fault, they are just a product of the changing times. I feel women should be more concerned about finances. (They still make 77 cents for every $1 a man makes. Plus they aren't considered for many jobs men get easily. But that is a whole different thread.) I now have lived long enough to see those who were on top of their game in their 20's, 30's, & 40's, aren't necessarily the ones who have a nice life in their 50's, 60's, etc. Life can throw alot of changes at people. Men who we thought were loyal, decide that they want to no longer be married. Markets change, investments are lost. Political changes can turn around jobs & incomes. Inheritances are wiped out by end of life expenses. Every woman should have her own investments. Don't go through life thinking those bad things will never happen to me. Expect the best but plan for the worst. __________________ Planning next voyage! Oct/Nov '08

Jun 7th, 2008, 06:28 PM	#7
kmh1190 Too many flip-flops! Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Northern California/Central Valley Posts: 1,632	Finances are a difficult thing to talk about. A lot of people come to this subforum and ask questions like "What should I be investing in?" "How much do you have saved up?" "How much credit card debt do you have?" etc. I'm not saying that these are not relevant questions that people can't learn from but they are hard to answer. It is hard to tell someone that no, it isn't appropriate or wise to have tens of thousands in credit card debt; yes, by your age you should have more saved up; no, you can't afford that, etc. I don't feel like I'm in any position to be giving someone specific investment information even though I have been investing for years. What works for me, may not work for the next gal. Also I think posting personal financial info can be dangerous, esp on a public forum. Just my thoughts on the matter... __________________ Banned-Can look but cannot buy/touchDefinitely !! Tano Fall Haul: Boogie Bucket (blueberry), Minilisa (raspberry and truffle), Sex Bomb (pomegranate), Glitterati (black)

Jun 7th, 2008, 04:19 PM	#4
daluu Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 293	the only debt i have is my school loan. otherwise, i pay off my credit cards in full and never buy what i can't afford. i have a friend who charged everything and didn't worry much about her finances during her single days. apparently, her plan was to marry a guy and have him take care of it. lucky for her, that actually happened!! she is happily married and debt free now. i'm much more realistic about that kind of stuff though...i take care of myself because i'm freaked out about bad debt.

Jun 7th, 2008, 05:09 PM	#5
kcf68 Handbag Addict Joined: May 2007 Location: Finally on the West Coast!!! Posts: 680	Oh I'm sure women on this forum worry about it but some don't care about finances. I think it depends on their situation. There are different types of people and some are more worried about money and some aren't. I have friends that don't stress about money until they have to pay the bill and wonder what they spent their money on.

Jun 7th, 2008, 06:29 PM	#8
pidgeon92 Member Joined: Feb 2006 Location: Waukegan, IL Posts: 1,340	In my family, I am the spender and my husband is the saver. I take care of the daily finances, I let him take care of the investing. I think we have a good balance, though if I quit buying stuff we'd have a lot more invested!

Jun 7th, 2008, 06:39 PM	#9
BalenciagaLove Plisse Me! Joined: Feb 2006 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 5,180	I don't know if I think women are less concerned. In general, I think a lot of women are less informed, but we as a whole are getting a lot better about investment, retirement, annuities and so forth. That said, I think plenty of women are good about working on a budget. I don't visit this forum as much because usually when I log onto tPF, it's a form of escapism. Visit my friends, chat about handbags, etc... not necessarily wanting to go into discussion about money. This may be the reason why it's not as popular. Just my two cents. Good luck with your house! That is a major MAJOR purchase! __________________ If I could remember all the names of these particles, I'd be a botanist! - Enrico Fermi

Jun 7th, 2008, 07:13 PM	#10
BigPurseSue Member Joined: Sep 2007 Location: Amid the prairies of the Midwest with the tiger swallow-tail butterflies. Posts: 540	I don't think women are any less concerned about money than men but I do think the sexes approach the topic differently. I think a lot of the talk about money you see among men on the Internet is "sports talk." What stock's performing well, what market sector is hot. I think men often view investments like another sort of betting game. You win, you lose, you're up or you're down. Something to be watched and charted carefully each day. I don't know a lot of women who approach investing so intently as a game. I also think many men view money as an uber-way to provide for their loved ones. If I keel over from a heart attack I want my loved ones to be provided for. That sort of thing. That's why men are the biggest customers of insurance. Women on the other hand often view money through fear. Not all women but many. They invest because they don't want to end up as a bag lady on the street. I don't know many men who have such a fear. Women invest because they're afraid of what will happen if they don't. I would say about half of the women I know feel this way. The other half don't have a care in the world. They can't imagine why any woman would live in fear of becoming a bag lady. They are healthy, they have a good job. Their husband is healthy and well-employed too. They believe it will always be so so they don't think about money. Suze Orzman in her book about women and money said that when she worked as a broker she was struck by how many women didn't want to think about money. They wanted someone to babysit their money and not have to think about it at all. The reality is that if you're going to invest wisely you need to be diligent about it. You need to watch your investments, keep tabs on them every week just like your other household expenses. You need to be as diligent about investing as you are about exercising, house-cleaning, your career, etc. Even if you hire an investment advisor you still need to be pro-active and keep careful watch on those investments and those statements. You're creating your future and you can't leave it in someone else's hands. In the book The Millionaire Next Door the authors point out that all the ordinary-people wealth holders they surveyed reported that they spent an average of 20 hours a week managing their investments. That's quite a chunk of time when you think about it. __________________ "My wife would not think of leaving the house for even a half hour without sufficient possessions in her purse alone to establish a comfortable wilderness homestead." -- Dave Barry

Jun 7th, 2008, 08:43 PM	#11
daluu Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 293	bigpursesue- i think you are right about how the two sexes approach money differently. when i talk to men, it's about investing in stocks, taking risks, but getting a bigger bang for their buck if their investment is a good one. with women, it's about the low risk, mutual fund...slow and steady collection of interests. like i said before, i've been a good saver all my life, but i feel like i'm just stuffing money under my mattress. i try to talk to my girlfriends about it, but they seem even more clueless than me or else they are waiting to get married. i know about roth iras, cds, etc....but i should get some books to read up on all this and see what the other investment opps are. balenciagalove- thanks for the well wishes on the house hunt. i'm crossing my fingers too!

Jun 7th, 2008, 09:15 PM	#12
PurseFanatic Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,735	I think women don't educate themselves as much as they should about money, which is why I'm such a huge fan of people like: Suze Orman Dave Ramsey Robert Kiyosaki etc. We too often let men control everything. NOT ALL WOMEN, just alot. I was shocked to find out that a friend of mine who has a masters lets her boyfriend pay the bills and control the money because "it's just too much of a pain in the butt, I'd rather let him deal with it." I love the book Suze Orman wrote "Women and Money" I suggest getting a copy. It's wonderful. It explains alot and even has an action plan in it. ETA: After I was offered my new job, the manager (a male), told me how impressed he was that I had inquired about the matching rate for the 401K, if there was life insurance and the traditional rate of return on profits (the employees there are employee owners and get a bonus check once a year if the company profits). While I took it as a compliment it made me think, when women inquire about their money it's seen as impressive, if a man does it, it's seen as intelligent, businesslike behavior. Sexist maybe? He is a nice manager, so he didn't mean any harm, but still it makes me want to shake some fellow women I chat with who "let their husbands worry with that." Money is a worry?? I don't think so!!! __________________ My sweetie's latest ultrasound pic It's a girl!! I'm due December 28! Last edited by PurseFanatic; Jun 7th, 2008 at 09:36 PM.

Jun 8th, 2008, 10:26 AM	#14
LadyLinda Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 606	I agree, it's difficult to offer specific advice about money. Giving someone an opinion on financial questions is very different from reflecting on why someone should buy a LV speedy or a Chanel flap, Bottega Veneta hobo or one from Hayden-Harnett. Stocks, bonds, mutual funds, offer thousands of options and giving financial advice requires knowing lots more, and very personal, information about a person than is needed to offer opinions on other topics, such as handbags. A public forum isn't the best place to reveal that kind of detail. So most of the advice we're able to give is going to be general and rooted in good sense, but not especially specific in terms of what to do.

Jun 8th, 2008, 10:36 AM	#15
IntlSet Bonjour! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 11,059	For my generation, the 20-somethings, I think the concern about money has become much more equalized between men and women. I know just as many guys who spend willy-nilly on all the guy stuff (televisions, cars, electronics, even clothes) as I do girls who spend willy-nilly on fashion. I think women just tend to get a worse reputation for it. Also, the Purse Forum is NOT an accurate representation of women nor is it an accurate portrait of normal spending behavior. 99.999% of human beings on this planet do not buy $1,000+ handbags -- much less several of them. It's really important to keep one's perspective in this kind of forum, lest you be drawn up in a buying whirlwind simply because it begins to seem like the normal thing to do. Don't forget that people aren't necessarily honestly representing their life on this forum, or even people that you know in real life. I have often wondered how certain people live, knowing what their household income must be. Barring any kind of store of family money, I can't see any possible way they live such a lavish life without being up to their eyeballs in debt. I think as long as we all use our common sense -- women and men -- we'll be fine. __________________ http://drinkmorechampagne.wordpress.com/