LAMBie Chat!!

[legsieloveslamb]

Originally Posted by heathie02

I wouldn't put up with the disrespect either Legs. Hope things get better. It has been 12 days and no smoking, cold turkey. I was only smoking 3-5 a day but I am happy regardless. I have gained 2 pounds but no more coughing or headaches at night so well worth it.

The disrespect has been an ongoing thing for YEARS! It's just about as bad as being hit- I hate to say it, but words are just as ruthless and cruel and damaging. I've been soooooooo patient. I'm running out of it. Everytime I speak my peace or two cents w/ him- he just literally blows me off. I'm sick of it. But out in public- he speaks the world of me! I need to hear that w/o being in public, you know. I don't need to be put down about my weight, how much time I'm on the PC (I enjoy the net and I'm at home- so wtf is the big deal?), or how I don't do this right or that right or undermining me when it comes to our son and such. It's just bullsheet!
I left him once for a week. Another time for a whole weekend. There have been restraining orders..... I could go on and on. Yet, I still have given him everything I possibly can and I'm almost completely drained. My escape is coming here, going on walks, having a drink w/ friends when I can (like over the weekend and I'm surprised at how he didn't give me crap for that, but I don't go overboard), and my music. I used to have a journal, but one time he found it and read it and totally took what I had wrote out of context so now if I sit down to write in my journal- I freeze and can't say anything unless it's full of happy things.
I'm currently fighting a borderline migraine, I've taken my as needed antianxiety med today twice just to keep myself from shaking and my heart from pounding out of my chest.
Yes, he can be the most helpful person when it comes to friends and helping them, but I feel I'm last and usually only good enough to pay the bills (like I've been struggling to do, on my own, since he hasn't actually worked in over a year). No, he doesn't try very hard at all to find a job. But he keeps busy doing things for ppl pro-bono or for just a few dollars, which helps, but it's not enough to pay a bill. Plus- I swear he is bi-polar and since he won't even take asprin for a headache, it's out of the question for him to take anything for any mental ailments.
Ok- I think I've rambled on enough, but when no one is around for me to turn to- and I can't journal- like I said, here I am. Holding back tears in the process.

[unluckystars]

it sounds like he's bringing you down i think you need someone that will treat you better!

[CeruleanGirl]

Originally Posted by legsieloveslamb

^^I understand what you mean, Cerulean. But honestly- I wasn't even sure if it would sell or not- it's always such a gamble anymore. But the buyer is being wonderful about it. Every time I do have a little bit of money- I can never seem to hold onto it. Being the only one with the "income"- it's just hard.

Sorry, but you list something with the assumption that it will sell. Otherwise, what's the point?

I don't know... If I had difficulty trying make ends meet, I would sell EVERYTHING and not use the money to buy anything other than bare necessities and not some other LAMB item. LAMB is just *stuff*. We enter this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. And at any time in between we can lose it all.

[legsieloveslamb]

Originally Posted by unluckystars

it sounds like he's bringing you down i think you need someone that will treat you better!

Yes, he is.

[legsieloveslamb]

Originally Posted by CeruleanGirl

Sorry, but you list something with the assumption that it will sell. Otherwise, what's the point? I don't know... If I had difficulty trying make ends meet, I would sell EVERYTHING and not use the money to buy anything other than bare necessities and not some other LAMB item. LAMB is just *stuff*. We enter this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. And at any time in between we can lose it all.

You know, that's all I've BEEN doing. I've been buying everything necessity-wise. I haven't bought anything unnecessary. Bills get paid. There's just no extra cash once they are paid.
Yeah- it is just "stuff" but when you feel the way I do- sometimes the littlest, stupidest things can make a person feel just a little better. B/c right now I feel like the crap on the bottom of a person's shoe.
Sorry to sound so harsh. But be a fly on the wall in my house and I'm sure you would feel the same way.

[legsieloveslamb]

I came here to hopefully be cheered up, not to feel worse.

[unluckystars]

awww i'd do a dance for you, but you wouldn't see it

[yvalenz]

Hi Ladies!
Home and had a great week. Be back in a few to post more details.

[lambiepie]

^ HI YVONNE!!!!!

Hope you had a fab vacation!!

[heathie02]

Legs, how long have you guys been together? He sounds like my BIL a few years ago but then he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression and put on medication and is 100% times better. If he is maybe he needs to go to the doctor. If he is not willing to and things only get worse I guess you will have to do some thinking on what is best for you. Here is hoping for the best

[alliemia]

legs...sorry you are so down. i agree with cerulean...don't even think about LAMB for now. sell as much as you can to save a bit of money and maybe try and work part time if you can, just to get out, some extra cash, and meet new people. work is a good distraction. even something like a few hours at Target or a fast food store or restaurant.

why doens't your husband work? how does he pay for things if he hasn't worked for a year?

he may have depression. i'd try to get him to a dr asap. he needs to at least bring some money in, for his family. even a part time job at a store, if not something more permanent.

good luck.

[legsieloveslamb]

I have nothing further to say. I feel that what I "WILL DO" is best for me right now. I've sacraficed enough! Be a fly on the wall in my house for a day or so- then you will understand it all.

[glamblover]

Originally Posted by CeruleanGirl

I got the Chateau and I still want the Morant. I am a bottomless pit of wants and needs! LOL! But seriously, NO MORE for a while. I have medical bills to pay and more to accrue and to pay for. Ugh. Speaking of which... I am sorry to hear you got so sick! Last year my mom got REALLY sick with a bad fever for several days. When she finally decided to go get checked out, she had to be admitted to the hospital because her kidneys were failing and it was at that time she found out she is diabetic (type 2). It's scary stuff! I hope you are doing better and that no long-term damage was done! Your story made me giggle - you went into a magical lambie world!

hi friends!

cerulean what show are you going to? i saw your grantham sold and i mourned her..its ok though...i think the kingston and or alston are more me..but wow she was goreous!

and hey whats going on with your medical stuff? i remember awhile back you had something going on and then you mentioned hematologist? everything ok?

heathie!!! lol my makeout buddy... my hubby and i are going though it. i left last week before i got sick and had lots of things to think about. well i have a friend...who is gorgeous...we never have done anything but hes my "makeout buddy" and if i was was gonna it would be with im! ill try and post a pic sometime...hes drool worthy! congrats on not smoking chicky!!!!!! im so so happy for you! my parents and brother quit smoking using that new medication..i cant think of it off the top of my head...but it worked great.

im glad you guys had such a good 4th

[legsieloveslamb]

Originally Posted by heathie02

Legs, how long have you guys been together? He sounds like my BIL a few years ago but then he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression and put on medication and is 100% times better. If he is maybe he needs to go to the doctor. If he is not willing to and things only get worse I guess you will have to do some thinking on what is best for you. Here is hoping for the best

13 years. No, he won't take anything, not even asprin, so that's out of the question.

And I just violated my "I have nothing further to say" post. *Sigh*

[legsieloveslamb]

Originally Posted by alliemia

legs...sorry you are so down. i agree with cerulean...don't even think about LAMB for now. sell as much as you can to save a bit of money and maybe try and work part time if you can, just to get out, some extra cash, and meet new people. work is a good distraction. even something like a few hours at Target or a fast food store or restaurant. why doens't your husband work? how does he pay for things if he hasn't worked for a year? he may have depression. i'd try to get him to a dr asap. he needs to at least bring some money in, for his family. even a part time job at a store, if not something more permanent. good luck.

I pay for everything!!!!!