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Worrying about things you cannot control?

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Apr 10, 2012, 12:41am   #16
Texlatina's Avatar
Texlatina
Member
Wow OP its like you're in my mind, telling me exactly what's in my own head. I have had a bi of trouble dealing with things that i cannot control. From money, to people, to the rest of the world...I stress over this. Its very reassuring to know there are others out there like me. I hesitate to try medication...but I'm interested in hearing what others have done to get off this emotional rollercoaster.
Apr 10, 2012, 5:55am   #17
f
frenchpearls
Member
Absolutely know how you're feeling! A few things that help me deal with worries and stress in a productive way:

1. Writing worries down- If I'm lying in bed worried about something I write it down in a notebook. Then, the next day when I wake up I can look at whatever was causing me anguish the night before. If it's a worry that can be dealt with (i.e have I confirmed meeting with so-and-so?) I put it on my to do list. Most worries can be dealt with, even the ones that seem a bit overwhelming- If I'm feeling like I have no direction in my life I start listing down my goals/achievements etc and remind myself that I do have direction.

2. Eating well, exercising, avoiding alcohol- pretty self-explanatory, but I do think looking after your physical health helps your mental health!

Most of all, it's important to have someone to vent to about stuff. Whether they're a close family member or a friend or a therapist- you should have someone to tell your anxieties to. often they can help put things into perspective

I hope everything improves for you OP!
Last edited Apr 10, 2012 at 6:02am.
Apr 10, 2012, 8:32am   #18
danagfixo's Avatar
danagfixo
Member
My mom's like this... she worries about things she can't control & the things she can, she'll control like crazy. It really deteriorates her health because she's stressing out over something she has no power over & it's really frustrating to see. I think it has to do with personality though because I'm laid back & the things I can't control, I just let it be & then handle it from there. I hope you don't make it a habit because you're wasting your time on enjoying the rest of your life. Your health & sanity are not worth it! Best of luck!! I hope you can find some way to relax & only fret about the things you can change <3
Apr 10, 2012, 11:53am   #19
boxermom's Avatar
boxermom
Member
Ahh, I just returned home from 50 min. with my therapist talking her ear off about this very thing. I let it go and then grab it back, thinking I can control and fix the people I'm worried about. She helped me see that they are adults (maturity is questionable, however) and that their weird relationship may serve a need for each of them. I can either accept it or continue to drive myself crazy wishing things were different or wasting time in my head with endless worry.
Apr 10, 2012, 12:58pm   #20
Mree43's Avatar
Mree43
Bag Lovah
Originally Posted by frenchpearls
Absolutely know how you're feeling! A few things that help me deal with worries and stress in a productive way:

1. Writing worries down- If I'm lying in bed worried about something I write it down in a notebook. Then, the next day when I wake up I can look at whatever was causing me anguish the night before. If it's a worry that can be dealt with (i.e have I confirmed meeting with so-and-so?) I put it on my to do list. Most worries can be dealt with, even the ones that seem a bit overwhelming- If I'm feeling like I have no direction in my life I start listing down my goals/achievements etc and remind myself that I do have direction.

2. Eating well, exercising, avoiding alcohol- pretty self-explanatory, but I do think looking after your physical health helps your mental health!

Most of all, it's important to have someone to vent to about stuff. Whether they're a close family member or a friend or a therapist- you should have someone to tell your anxieties to. often they can help put things into perspective

I hope everything improves for you OP!
This is fantastic advice, OP. I'm the same way and it once got so bad that I started to lose my hair. I do each of the above and am now much better.

Hugs.
Apr 10, 2012, 11:02pm   #21
B
Biee
Member
Originally Posted by frenchpearls
Absolutely know how you're feeling! A few things that help me deal with worries and stress in a productive way:

1. Writing worries down- If I'm lying in bed worried about something I write it down in a notebook. Then, the next day when I wake up I can look at whatever was causing me anguish the night before. If it's a worry that can be dealt with (i.e have I confirmed meeting with so-and-so?) I put it on my to do list. Most worries can be dealt with, even the ones that seem a bit overwhelming- If I'm feeling like I have no direction in my life I start listing down my goals/achievements etc and remind myself that I do have direction.

2. Eating well, exercising, avoiding alcohol- pretty self-explanatory, but I do think looking after your physical health helps your mental health!

Most of all, it's important to have someone to vent to about stuff. Whether they're a close family member or a friend or a therapist- you should have someone to tell your anxieties to. often they can help put things into perspective

I hope everything improves for you OP!
This is actually REALLY GOOD advice!! I love it.

I have similar problems, I constantly worry about my future life. What will I be doing tomorrow or in the future and so I plan everything out in my head. Too much planning leads to anxiety as well, but I think the majority of my concerns are related to stress, and that is mainly from school...

I usually reward myself when I finish an assignment or an exam ( a piece of chocolate or something), but then I get worried about gaining weight =__= It's a constant cycle for me.

I just have 2 more exams and 2 more papers to write and I'll be graduating. I am so excited !!!!! But yeah, the note taking really helps cause that's pretty much my to-do list.

But yeah, anyways, OP you can always come vent here on TPF and I'm always here to listen to your issues
Apr 14, 2012, 11:22pm   #22
PurseXaXholic's Avatar
PurseXaXholic
Pretty Young Thing
Actually, this is happening to me now. I went to bed and I was worrying about something I have to face Monday (not in my control, and rather senseless worrying as it is not that big of a deal). I turned the situation around and made the bad situation that could happen monday good, if you know what I mean. For now I'm using music & tpf to distract me.
Apr 15, 2012, 3:27pm   #23
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ahs483
Member
I have tried the writing it down thing, it doesn't work for me. If anything, it just worries me MORE because then I see a blatant list of everything thats worrying me! ha.

The only fix for me is to be busy, but obviously its hard to be busy 24/7. If i have free time I tend to let my mind wander and think too much. Its very frustrating and it gets very controlling!!!
Apr 15, 2012, 3:34pm   #24
PurseXaXholic's Avatar
PurseXaXholic
Pretty Young Thing
I just started thinking about what was worrying me about tomorrow again! Even though it's silly and I made a plan for tomorrow I still get nervous/scared/anxious and filled with worry. Ugh.

Also, a way I have for coping is my making calculations. I know it's weird but based on previous events or other facts I know I'll calculate the probabilities of certain things happening, when I know their is a low chance of it happening again it makes me feel better.
Last edited Apr 15, 2012 at 3:47pm.
Apr 19, 2012, 3:18pm   #25
mellecyn's Avatar
mellecyn
Member
I get sick of worrying with what if....I try so hard to be organized in my life that I want to control the uncontrollable...I have an appointment there, I do google maps, and what if the bus does´t come? what if I get lost? how do I buy a ticket?
I had a short connection lately and I went crazy with anxiety on what if I missed my connection and all the consequences...
I try to plan absolutely everything....thinking of all the possible outcomes...this anxiety has caused me various psychosomatic health related problems.
anyways, just to let you know you´re not alone. and no I don´t have medication.
Apr 19, 2012, 4:07pm   #26
boxermom's Avatar
boxermom
Member
Originally Posted by mellecyn
I get sick of worrying with what if....I try so hard to be organized in my life that I want to control the uncontrollable...I have an appointment there, I do google maps, and what if the bus does´t come? what if I get lost? how do I buy a ticket?
I had a short connection lately and I went crazy with anxiety on what if I missed my connection and all the consequences...
I try to plan absolutely everything....thinking of all the possible outcomes...this anxiety has caused me various psychosomatic health related problems.
anyways, just to let you know you´re not alone. and no I don´t have medication.
this sounds so much like me. I do the planning before any outing or trip DH and I take and he knows I will have the hotel confirmation copy, mapquest directions, timetables, phone #'s. It eases some of my anxiety if I have this info at my fingertips but there are so many other things in life I can't do this with. Things often go wrong and dealing with it is hard for me. At least we are not alone.
Apr 20, 2012, 1:04pm   #27
mellecyn's Avatar
mellecyn
Member
^story of my life, there is fine line between being organized and stressing about details. I have been recommended meditation and yoga. I started yoga.
Apr 25, 2012, 4:41am   #28
lily25's Avatar
lily25
UNMUTUAL
I think it part of human nature worrying, it is an instinct that kept us on this planet for a while right?
There is a fine line between worrying about things and obsessing to the point of feeling physically ill. I 'm a nervous person and I tend to worry about stuff I can't control, lately the health of my loved ones. I try to put things in perspective: will losing my sleep and eventually my own health help my loved ones in any way? Absolutely not. So I try not too worry too much and instead be prepared for different situations that might come up.
Divide and conquer is better for me to deal with. My first priority is of course my well being then to be ready to act efficiently if anything bad happens and have some sort of a plan for different situations. I try to block out negative people around me that makes things worse and more complicated, they are of no help.
Also I bare in mind that $hit happens everyday, and usually we survive it. I am willing to fight for the things that matter but trivial stuff I let go. I can't worry for every little detail in life.

ps Xanax helps lol!
Apr 25, 2012, 9:30am   #29
hermes_lemming's Avatar
hermes_lemming
my little etoupe
I have probably the worst case of anxiety right now, due to work and personal issues. The only thing that honestly helps is venting out my frustration through some form of exercise. Afterwards I am calm and stress free.
Jul 20, 2012, 12:18am   #30
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DawnLuvsLouie
Member
Originally Posted by ahs483
So, I've always been a worrier. I worry about everything, from if I locked my car door to thinking something might have happened to my mom if she doesn't answer her phone.

Recently, I've had a lot of family issues (health issues, money issues, just generally a scary future) and I am having a very hard time not worrying about everything.

I also am worried about summer, I got an internship and I'm very nervous about starting it.

Does anyone have any tips for not worrying about things that you cannot control? I have tried using the mindset "today is the tmw you worried about yesterday" but that doesn't work, I still worry!! I try to tell myself to just live in the moment and not think about the future because it does no good, but yet I still can't stop worrying.

Help please :(
Sounds like you have GAD.. (generalized anxiety disorder... I have that.. U can google the symptoms but I worry about everything but it's the extent of my worry that's not normal... Like my mom don't answer the phone and I think she was hit by a car or passes out and is hurt.. And I do this alllllll the time... Or I have a pain in my toe and I'm convinced it may have to be amputated .. Or I have heartburn and it's a heart attack or back pain is lung cancer ... The list goes on and on.. I'm in therapy now and it does seem to help.. I don't take meds because I am also scared to take pills because i don't want to feel weird... Anyways I've been trying to think outside my body and my thoughts if that makes sense? Like if I feel a pain I try to just ignore it and focus on something else.. Or if my mom don't answer the phone I try to occupy my thoughts to give her time to call me back... It's working so far.. I still get anxious but not as bad.. I hope u get help and feel better soon because anxiety I would not wish on my worst enemy it sucks..
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