[Sez]

Hey, I'm new to this part of the forum, so apologies if this is a subject that has already been done to death.

I have had issues with my weight for about fifteen years (since I was a teenager). My top weight was 210lb, which was ten years ago this week. Over the years that followed I managed to get down to 160, where I was happy(ish!) (I'm quite tall) and stay there for a time. Although maintaining my weight was never easy, in the past few years I have had more trouble maintaining, and have yo-yoed up and down over the same 7lb countless times. Right now I'm somewhere in the middle. But I'm sick of thinking about how much I weigh every day. And of mentally weighing up everything I eat, and feeling bad when I eat something 'naughty' (which I do a lot!). Sometimes I think life's too short, I'll stop worrying about it all, and it works for a few days, and then I step on the scales, find i've gained weight, and it's back to panic dieting.

Anyone been here and managed to take a step back and take a more relaxed attitude?

[BagLadie]

No, I am obsessive about my weight. I am not overweight but could stand to lose 10 pounds. (I have recently lost about 10 lbs too). I wish I could just be happy and relax about food and weight but it's tough. I am a slave to my scale and feel guilty with every morsel of 'bad" food that I eat. But I do love to eat. It would be nice to just enjoy life and not worry about how we look, wouldn't it?

[mh21]

I am naturally a large girl but I've lost about 20 lbs which is my pregnancy weight and it took me two years to shed! I have a healthy BMI but I still want to lose another 12 lbs.

I've been slim in the past as well, but to maintain the weight I had to behave as if I was still dieting in the sense of I couldn't just let myself go.

If I do over-indulge once a week/fortnight thats OK I don't gain weight. If I let myself go and eat whatever I want, whenever I want everyday and I don't think of portion sizes I gain weight.

Some people are lucky in that they have the natural ability to control themselves w/o any effort, but I'm not one of them. I'm going to be one of those who has to be careful for the rest of my life. It's unfortunate, but if I don't regulate myself I'll just gain again and I really don't want that.

I think it all depends on what you want more... do you want to be healthy or just eat whatever you want whenever you want and not worry about the scales?

The thing is if I just let myself go and ate ate ate I wouldn't be happy with the weight gain. So for me it's a trade-off.

[Chipper]

For 2007, I can show you my planner full of my calorie counting, meal planning and excercise regime throughout the entire year!

Currently, I'm taking things easy. I realized that yes, I want to exercise, look nice and be healthy. Part of being healthy is having a healthy relationship with food. I refuse to feel guilty anymore for indulging in that nutella crepe or missing a pilates class.

I don't think I'm obsessed with losing weight. I'm trying to shift my focus to eating, exercising and being present in the moment!

[LivinLuxuriously]

I was always obsessed with food. So was my mother, and her mother as well. I was put on a diet at about age 8, when my grandfather pointed out newly surfaced stretch marks (I was chunky - but not "fat", per say - I was later diagnosed with an "elasticity deficiency" by my pediatrician - but that didn't negate my growing girth). My parents kept absolutely no junk food in the house - and upon walking down the stairs into my kitchen in search of flavored rice cakes, my mother would police me, asking me what I was eating, with that tone which I grew to learn signified disapproval of my "undesirable" shape. In spite of my teeny tiny frame, I continued to sneak foods and gain massive amounts of weight - by the minute seemingly after puberty hit. My mother and grandmother had me on every diet known to man - from the old slim fast shakes to the weight watchers point system to nutrisystem. This was all before age 15. By 16 I was over 200 pounds and 5'2. At almost 300 pounds my shoe size was a size 6 - and my ring finger a sizd 3.5 - so I knew deep down I was tiny underneath my layers of fat - but I kept eating. I'd yo-yo diet. I'd be fully committed to near starvation - and then I'd binge with chocolate under my bed. When I began driving I put on weight like crazy - nearing 300 pounds at age 18. At that time I became so tired of the fad diets and the bingeing and the starving and the celery sticks that I began the South Beach diet, which was a huge rave - and quickly fell into a no-nonsense carbless diet called The Atkins Diet, and lost 50 pounds in the first 3 months. Problem was, that after that - my weight plateaud. I was about 230/240 pounds - which was a huge improvement - but not eating any carbohydrates and seeing no decrease of poundage on the scale really messes with you. I did Atkins for 18 months. Having lost 50 pounds in the first 3 months, and 5 pounds in the proceeding 15 - I grew ridiculously frustrated - and began bingeing again. I'd binge on carbs and purge them (ick, I know ). I gained 40 of my 50 pounds lost back this way. My mother saw something, I believe on TV, about gastric bypass surgery. I'd just turned 20 years old, and was finishing my last year of my AA degree. My insurance covered it. I went through the seminars and programs and steps and tests. After a 6 month prep program, I had laproscopic RNY gastric bypass surgery. My obsession with food and calorie monitoring and net carb counting came to a halt. Eating was difficult and my whole life turned upside down. At 21 years old I was 2 months out of my gastric bypass surgery, after nearly a year of pre-op planning and dietting and hoping, and I was pushing myself, struggling, to get to 500 calories a day. It was like an obsession in reverse. I was 265 pounds the day of surgery and by the time I hit my one year surge-versary I was 110 pounds. In the months to follow I hit a low of 95 pounds - down from my all time high of near 300. Now I'm 23 years old - 3 years out of bariatric surgery - and a healthy-for-me 105 pounds. I no longer obsess over food, I'm happy to report. I never count calories and am currently engaged to the boy who took a chance on "the fat girl" in a very physically-obsessed high school (and consequently took a plunge in his popularity) at age 16. My only food-related issue now is nausea - which I am quite frequently after meals - but I now know subconciously for the most part my limits - and what I should and shouldn't eat. My "pouch" (what we call my new stomach) limits my intake of hard protein (ie: meats) - so I eat alot of tofu and protein rich veggies - which I've learned to really enjoy. My newest hobby since surgery is cooking - which I didn't do as a "fat girl". I ate out alot. Now I'm like a chef - me and my fiance both really bonded over The Food Network and cookbooks - and it's been great. Anyway /end memoir lol .

My story :)

[luvhautecouture]

Originally Posted by LivinLuxuriously

My story :)

Thanks for your story! It was very interesting! Congrats to you

[socalgrl86]

thank you so much for posting this!! i have struggled with my weight since i had y children and this past year have been able to lose 60 pounds but it has definetly become obsessive. i count ALL of my calories. If i dont know how many calories are in something i will NOT eat it. i work out alot and i step on the scale toooo often. so we're in the same boat!

[windycityaj]

Now that I am over 40, I have cut down considerably about judging myself too harshly about my weight, but I am no means "cured" of that obsessive quality. I am a size 10-12 now and finally I have been able to maintain a healthy weight since 2004. I workout regularly, and watch what I eat, but not obsessively. I only step on the scale once a year at my physical, otherwise, I go strictly how my clothes fit. What is it that makes us this way? The other issue I have is having a very naturally thin mother. I always felt that she was disappointed that she had a "chubby" child, even though she would deny this.


Anne

[mundodabolsa]

Originally Posted by windycityaj

Now that I am over 40, I have cut down considerably about judging myself too harshly about my weight, but I am no means "cured" of that obsessive quality. I am a size 10-12 now and finally I have been able to maintain a healthy weight since 2004. I workout regularly, and watch what I eat, but not obsessively. I only step on the scale once a year at my physical, otherwise, I go strictly how my clothes fit. What is it that makes us this way? The other issue I have is having a very naturally thin mother. I always felt that she was disappointed that she had a "chubby" child, even though she would deny this.


Anne

this is something I've done to make myself less obsessive as well. the scale is always going to go up and down and it's such a vicious cycle to be obsessed with a number. I can tell where my weight is going based on my pants. I haven't weighed myself (except once at the doctor) since 2000. it's much healthier for me that way.

[UK2ME]

Oh yes! I'm 5'2 and 210lbs. I came to the US in 2005 weighing 145, and gained 55 pounds in the first year. The rest I've put on by being sedentary.

I fluctuate between "this is what I weigh, and I'm still a good person" and "holy fat cow!" My biggest weakness is that I am, essentially, lazy. I don't like to work out, and I like food. I don't eat a lot of junk, but I do eat too much. I love to swim, but between my commute, the hours I work and my other commitments, the local pools are not convenient.

I try to maintain the attitude that I will dress my body appropriately and as attractively as a can for its size, and I will try to lose 2 pounds a week by eating sensibly. Yes, I'd like to be 140 again, but I'd rather be happy in my own skin. Sometimes it's hard; when I have to buy an 18 rather than a 16, or when I see a photograph that's less than flattering. But at the end of the day, what I weigh does not affect my ability to do my job, to love my husband, or to enjoy my life.

[kymmie]

I can relate. My weight is the first thing on my mind when I wake and last thing I think about before I fall asleep. I tell myself every morning, this is the day I will take control.

I am an eating disorder poster child - I have done it all - Bulima, laxative abuse, weight watchers, curves, diet center, anti-bloating/water tablets, accupunture treatments in Mexico, diet pills, exercise bulimia...

My weight yo-yos. I exercise daily but I am a compulsive eater so these two actions cancel each other out.


Curves was helpful but they close too early and I could never get there because I work late.

[Allisonfaye]

Wow, can I relate. I fall right into the middle of the healthy BMI but I feel like because I am short and hippy, a lot of clothes look awful on me. I know if I lost about 7 pounds, I would look much better. But I love to bake. I hate worrying about every calorie too. I workout about 6 days a week on average but I don't want to obsess food. I try to eat healthy but occasionally, if I bake something, I eat it some every day until it is gone. So this translates into an extra 500 or more calories on those days. It is so tough to find the balance between feeling you look your best and obsessing over weight.

[mh21]

Originally Posted by Allisonfaye

Wow, can I relate. I fall right into the middle of the healthy BMI but I feel like because I am short and hippy, a lot of clothes look awful on me. I know if I lost about 7 pounds, I would look much better. But I love to bake. I hate worrying about every calorie too. I workout about 6 days a week on average but I don't want to obsess food. I try to eat healthy but occasionally, if I bake something, I eat it some every day until it is gone. So this translates into an extra 500 or more calories on those days. It is so tough to find the balance between feeling you look your best and obsessing over weight.

This sounds like me!! Also, I used to bake all the time and eat my baked goods until it was gone. However, since no one else in the house eats as much cake/muffins as I do now I seldom bake. I made some cupcakes the other day and the first day I ate almost two and a half cupcakes (600 cals) now the rest are waiting to be finished off and if no one does I'll throw them away.

[PinkSuadeSoho]

I don't have a scale (well in the general living area of our home) :) We have one somewhere....I don't care what I weigh as long as I feel good. I think that is a start. Go by how you look without the scale and how you feel, physically and mentally. Don't go "on" a diet, just make changes that you use from here on out. You can have treats and things that are naughty. Just pick a day where you can enjoy those snacks without depriving your cravings and or binging later.

[jellybebe]

With me, I find that if I start to focus on something, I have difficulty "letting go". For instance, I don't count calories but I have all but eliminated white carbs from my diet. If I eat a cookie or something, I try to make up for it and work out really hard the next day or go for a walk afterward, but I wouldn't consider myself "obsessive". I also don't own a scale and haven't weighed myself in years.