Really angry with myself...again

Sez · Jul 17th, 2008, 06:09 PM

AGH AGH AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! I am sooooo fed up with myself. Have been trying to diet for about 3 weeks...mostly I go ok for 4-5 days and then completely blow the diet for one reason or another. Dinner parties/family gatherings etc do not help, but one of my biggest problems with sticking to diets is the office. We have a bookshelf (which is about six foot from my desk) where people put food for sharing. Pretty much every day there is some sort of chocolate/cake/cookie combination up there, and I am not good at resisting temptation. It doesn't help that I can actually see it without even moving from my chair. This week I managed to resist the chocolate digestives (well, I had one on Monday, but factored it in to my weight watchers points) and the jam doughnuts...but today I just couldn't resist the fresh giant cookies from Tesco...so I had a small piece of cookie. And another. And I don't even know how many more. Then after dinner (at home) I had some chocolate as well! AGH! I am pathetic. And I sometimes think if I wasn't so obsessed with food and dieting I wouldn't eatn half as much junk as I do!!

Sorry. Just needed to rant!

Thanks

EmmaLee83 · Jul 17th, 2008, 06:22 PM

I'm sorry, I know how frustrating that is. My office at work is the same way...it is all women and someone is always bringing in some sort of high-calorie treat and it's sort of like this office code that you are supposed to eat it just because it is there. Maybe try bringing some healthier snacks and eat those throughout the day? If it is sweets that cause the most temptation, maybe try bringing yourself some granola bars or rice cakes. That might help a bit. But I am totally the same way, the more I try to control myself when it is available, the more I wind up pigging out on (and then being mad at myself).

shoebuyer37 · Jul 17th, 2008, 09:21 PM

Dieting is hard, but don't beat yourself up. Perhaps they could move the "food sharing" station and then it would be less temptation?

Sez · Jul 18th, 2008, 08:26 PM

Thanks guys...I do already have some healthy snacks in my drawer...the problem isn't usually that I'm actually hungry! I just love sweet stuff. And I would love to move the office snacks, but unfortunately we only have one small communal area in our section, which is where the shelf is! A few years ago I worked in a different company, where I was surrounded by women on diets, which made it a whole lot easier most of the time. I guess I am going to have to work harder on the self-control. Or change jobs!!!

MichelleAntonia · Jul 19th, 2008, 05:06 AM

put a picture of a really fit, healthy woman that you admire, that you positively tell yourself IS IN YOU TOO, right at your eye. on your desk, closer than that treat shelf. so you see her, aka YOU IN THE FUTURE, before your eyes hit the cookies.

that, or a picture of a really, really hot guy that *could* walk into your office, theoretically, at any moment. that'll put your mind instantly somewhere else besides the cookies

Snowqueen! · Jul 19th, 2008, 09:11 AM

(((Hugs)))

Now enough feeling angry at yourself. We all slip up sometimes.

I would say that you are not doing a very good job of building treats into your diet or planning ahead for family gatherings or meals.

I find that I can resist chocolate and other treats knowing that a cup of low cal chocolate pudding or a small square of good dark chocolate is waiting at home for me after dinner. This is a treat but is already built into my calories.

Also, I try to add an extra few minutes of cardio in every day (even a couple of 10 minute walks) on weeks when I know I am going to have to go to a dinner party or similar gathering.

Perhaps you could add a snack such as hot chocolate at work every day? The sugar free ones aren't bad on calories but could potentially help you resist the snack shelf.

Good luck!

Sez · Jul 19th, 2008, 02:29 PM

It's not so much that I don't plan for the events, Snowqueen, it's that I don't stick to the plan! When I have a gathering/dinner etc, ahead of the day I think I will be really good all day to make up for the evening being diet-busting or whatever, when it comes to it I tend to just go crazy all day...probably more so than if I wasn't on a diet! I think I am quite obsessive about food - most days I have planned exactly what I will eat when from start to finish (including snacks and treats) and while I am sticking to the plan it's all well and good, but as soon as something throws me off it, I completely let go. I know it's something I have to stop doing, I'm just not sure how to change my mindset.

Ten years ago I was really overweight, then went on a diet and over several years lost about 50lb, so I know I can do it, I just need to apply myself better. Sticking to a diet back then wasn't easy either, but I think because I was so unhappy with the way I looked it was easier than now.

HauteMama · Jul 19th, 2008, 04:41 PM

Try not to beat yourself up. Think about it: if you watch what you eat and eat healthfully 4/5 of the time, you will still lose weight. It isn't about sticking to plan 100% of the time. No matter how badly you deviate from the plan one day, if you follow it up with 4 or 5 more days of reasonable and healthful eating, you will be further ahead than if you did not try to be healthy at all.

A lot of plans incorporate one cheat day into them. Even if your cheat days are more like one every 4 or 5 days, it is still better than not trying at all; the weight will just come off a little more slowly. It isn't about today or tomorrow; it is about the long-run. Doing well 80% of the time will pay off in the end!

sierrasun1 · Jul 19th, 2008, 06:17 PM

I think I know exactly what you mean!! I find myself doing a lot of "all or nothing" thinking, and it seems to not only make it tougher to stick to a certain way of eating... but, I feel that much worse about myself if I feel like I blew it. Very frustrating. I couldn't agree with this more:
"I know it's something I have to stop doing, I'm just not sure how to change my mindset."

Best of luck!!!!!!!! I think you can do it.

Louis_gal · Jul 20th, 2008, 03:13 PM

I hate to quote a cliche, but......... diets just don't work. I've never been on a diet and have always followed my mom's mantra. You can eat anything you want but in "moderation" and this is soooo true. You can't plan every single thing out because there will always be a glich when you don't expect it, and then you'll feel that "oh well, my plan is shot, so I might as well forget about the rest of it" and then afterwards, will have a bad case of the guilts and beat yourself up for it. Rather than dieting and limiting/depriving yourself of certain foods, try having smaller portions, that way you'll be able to have it and not feel the urge to overindulge. Also, if there was a salad/fruit bar, you could fill up your plate with them and treat yourself to smaller portions of sweets, since most of what you had was lo-cal. Just some suggestions which you can take or leave, but please don't feel guilty or beat yourself up over it. We all overindulge once in a while, but the best thing is that you're aware of it and that will help you in the long run.

Tigger11 · Jul 20th, 2008, 04:46 PM

I've tried many diets and not stuck to them, however, I have been on this one for 2 months now and have found it really successful.

http://www.sureslimuk.com/

Not connected with this in any way, apart from I am following it and have lost 2 stones in 8 weeks.

Tangerine · Jul 21st, 2008, 03:53 AM

If you're like me, you aren't any good at moderation. AT ALL. And that doesn't mean you are 'worse' at dieting or whatever, you just have to learn how to work with it.

I'm going to advise that you take HauteMama's advice. Sure, you have a plan that you think is going to work, but you feel like you can't stick to it? Make another, more realistic plan. PLAN for a cheat day, like she said, once a week or once every 5 days that you know you can have whatever you want. Knowing that that is waiting for you, planned out, will make it MUCH easier to do well on the days that you are sticking to the diet, it might make you do even better on your 'good' days. What great cookie or cake can't wait a week?, you know? Even if its not that EXACT one, lol, there will be sooo many more.

This is what I do, and it works wonderfully. I hope you can try it too:)

aliburke84 · Jul 21st, 2008, 02:11 PM

the office definitely makes eating a sensible diet tough. we don't have a sharing shelf like that but we keep a fully stocked kitchen and i am in charge of ordering for it! we can also order whatever we like for lunch...so the possibilities are endless! are there healthy things for sharing? maybe you can keep healthy snacks at your desk so that you see those first before the chocolate goodies on the shelf. i know it's reallyhard but just keep reminding yourself how frustrated you're going to feel next time. and also, if you give yourself one thing thatyou crave per day you'll cut back on the amt of times that you reach for the sweets. maybe try bringing a dark chocolate bar with you and having a couple squares per day if it helps. dark chocolate has some excellent benefits and also satisfies your cravings for sugar!

Jul 17th, 2008, 06:09 PM	#1
Sez Bag lady Joined: Apr 2007 Location: London Posts: 359	Really angry with myself...again AGH AGH AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! I am sooooo fed up with myself. Have been trying to diet for about 3 weeks...mostly I go ok for 4-5 days and then completely blow the diet for one reason or another. Dinner parties/family gatherings etc do not help, but one of my biggest problems with sticking to diets is the office. We have a bookshelf (which is about six foot from my desk) where people put food for sharing. Pretty much every day there is some sort of chocolate/cake/cookie combination up there, and I am not good at resisting temptation. It doesn't help that I can actually see it without even moving from my chair. This week I managed to resist the chocolate digestives (well, I had one on Monday, but factored it in to my weight watchers points) and the jam doughnuts...but today I just couldn't resist the fresh giant cookies from Tesco...so I had a small piece of cookie. And another. And I don't even know how many more. Then after dinner (at home) I had some chocolate as well! AGH! I am pathetic. And I sometimes think if I wasn't so obsessed with food and dieting I wouldn't eatn half as much junk as I do!! Sorry. Just needed to rant! Thanks

Jul 17th, 2008, 09:21 PM	#3
shoebuyer37 Laryssa Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Beautiful Carolina Posts: 916	Dieting is hard, but don't beat yourself up. Perhaps they could move the "food sharing" station and then it would be less temptation? __________________ Always getting into trouble....

Jul 19th, 2008, 05:06 AM	#5
MichelleAntonia An InBetweener Joined: Jan 2007 Location: East Bay, CA Posts: 1,641	put a picture of a really fit, healthy woman that you admire, that you positively tell yourself IS IN YOU TOO, right at your eye. on your desk, closer than that treat shelf. so you see her, aka YOU IN THE FUTURE, before your eyes hit the cookies. that, or a picture of a really, really hot guy that could walk into your office, theoretically, at any moment. that'll put your mind instantly somewhere else besides the cookies __________________ Some of the hardest things are easy to achieve with patience

Jul 20th, 2008, 03:13 PM	#10
Louis_gal Where's my $$ tree? Joined: Jul 2007 Location: East Coast Posts: 2,536	I hate to quote a cliche, but......... diets just don't work. I've never been on a diet and have always followed my mom's mantra. You can eat anything you want but in "moderation" and this is soooo true. You can't plan every single thing out because there will always be a glich when you don't expect it, and then you'll feel that "oh well, my plan is shot, so I might as well forget about the rest of it" and then afterwards, will have a bad case of the guilts and beat yourself up for it. Rather than dieting and limiting/depriving yourself of certain foods, try having smaller portions, that way you'll be able to have it and not feel the urge to overindulge. Also, if there was a salad/fruit bar, you could fill up your plate with them and treat yourself to smaller portions of sweets, since most of what you had was lo-cal. Just some suggestions which you can take or leave, but please don't feel guilty or beat yourself up over it. We all overindulge once in a while, but the best thing is that you're aware of it and that will help you in the long run. __________________ "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one you're gonna get" - Forrest Gump "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" - James Dean Sweeping in the Fall!

Jul 21st, 2008, 03:53 AM	#12
Tangerine Emotard <3 MCR&FOB Joined: Jan 2007 Location: C'Era Una Volta Il West Posts: 652	If you're like me, you aren't any good at moderation. AT ALL. And that doesn't mean you are 'worse' at dieting or whatever, you just have to learn how to work with it. I'm going to advise that you take HauteMama's advice. Sure, you have a plan that you think is going to work, but you feel like you can't stick to it? Make another, more realistic plan. PLAN for a cheat day, like she said, once a week or once every 5 days that you know you can have whatever you want. Knowing that that is waiting for you, planned out, will make it MUCH easier to do well on the days that you are sticking to the diet, it might make you do even better on your 'good' days. What great cookie or cake can't wait a week?, you know? Even if its not that EXACT one, lol, there will be sooo many more. This is what I do, and it works wonderfully. I hope you can try it too:) __________________ *Guitars scream like a fascist.*

Jul 17th, 2008, 06:22 PM	#2
EmmaLee83 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 306	I'm sorry, I know how frustrating that is. My office at work is the same way...it is all women and someone is always bringing in some sort of high-calorie treat and it's sort of like this office code that you are supposed to eat it just because it is there. Maybe try bringing some healthier snacks and eat those throughout the day? If it is sweets that cause the most temptation, maybe try bringing yourself some granola bars or rice cakes. That might help a bit. But I am totally the same way, the more I try to control myself when it is available, the more I wind up pigging out on (and then being mad at myself).

Jul 18th, 2008, 08:26 PM	#4
Sez Bag lady Joined: Apr 2007 Location: London Posts: 359	Thanks guys...I do already have some healthy snacks in my drawer...the problem isn't usually that I'm actually hungry! I just love sweet stuff. And I would love to move the office snacks, but unfortunately we only have one small communal area in our section, which is where the shelf is! A few years ago I worked in a different company, where I was surrounded by women on diets, which made it a whole lot easier most of the time. I guess I am going to have to work harder on the self-control. Or change jobs!!!

Jul 19th, 2008, 09:11 AM	#6
Snowqueen! Member Joined: May 2008 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 230	(((Hugs))) Now enough feeling angry at yourself. We all slip up sometimes. I would say that you are not doing a very good job of building treats into your diet or planning ahead for family gatherings or meals. I find that I can resist chocolate and other treats knowing that a cup of low cal chocolate pudding or a small square of good dark chocolate is waiting at home for me after dinner. This is a treat but is already built into my calories. Also, I try to add an extra few minutes of cardio in every day (even a couple of 10 minute walks) on weeks when I know I am going to have to go to a dinner party or similar gathering. Perhaps you could add a snack such as hot chocolate at work every day? The sugar free ones aren't bad on calories but could potentially help you resist the snack shelf. Good luck!

Jul 19th, 2008, 02:29 PM	#7
Sez Bag lady Joined: Apr 2007 Location: London Posts: 359	It's not so much that I don't plan for the events, Snowqueen, it's that I don't stick to the plan! When I have a gathering/dinner etc, ahead of the day I think I will be really good all day to make up for the evening being diet-busting or whatever, when it comes to it I tend to just go crazy all day...probably more so than if I wasn't on a diet! I think I am quite obsessive about food - most days I have planned exactly what I will eat when from start to finish (including snacks and treats) and while I am sticking to the plan it's all well and good, but as soon as something throws me off it, I completely let go. I know it's something I have to stop doing, I'm just not sure how to change my mindset. Ten years ago I was really overweight, then went on a diet and over several years lost about 50lb, so I know I can do it, I just need to apply myself better. Sticking to a diet back then wasn't easy either, but I think because I was so unhappy with the way I looked it was easier than now.

Jul 19th, 2008, 04:41 PM	#8
HauteMama Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 4,133	Try not to beat yourself up. Think about it: if you watch what you eat and eat healthfully 4/5 of the time, you will still lose weight. It isn't about sticking to plan 100% of the time. No matter how badly you deviate from the plan one day, if you follow it up with 4 or 5 more days of reasonable and healthful eating, you will be further ahead than if you did not try to be healthy at all. A lot of plans incorporate one cheat day into them. Even if your cheat days are more like one every 4 or 5 days, it is still better than not trying at all; the weight will just come off a little more slowly. It isn't about today or tomorrow; it is about the long-run. Doing well 80% of the time will pay off in the end!

Jul 19th, 2008, 06:17 PM	#9
sierrasun1 Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 299	I think I know exactly what you mean!! I find myself doing a lot of "all or nothing" thinking, and it seems to not only make it tougher to stick to a certain way of eating... but, I feel that much worse about myself if I feel like I blew it. Very frustrating. I couldn't agree with this more: "I know it's something I have to stop doing, I'm just not sure how to change my mindset." Best of luck!!!!!!!! I think you can do it.

Jul 20th, 2008, 04:46 PM	#11
Tigger11 Member Joined: Apr 2007 Location: LEEDS United Kingdom Posts: 404	I've tried many diets and not stuck to them, however, I have been on this one for 2 months now and have found it really successful. http://www.sureslimuk.com/ Not connected with this in any way, apart from I am following it and have lost 2 stones in 8 weeks.

Jul 21st, 2008, 02:11 PM	#13
aliburke84 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Location: JC/NYC Posts: 1,296	the office definitely makes eating a sensible diet tough. we don't have a sharing shelf like that but we keep a fully stocked kitchen and i am in charge of ordering for it! we can also order whatever we like for lunch...so the possibilities are endless! are there healthy things for sharing? maybe you can keep healthy snacks at your desk so that you see those first before the chocolate goodies on the shelf. i know it's reallyhard but just keep reminding yourself how frustrated you're going to feel next time. and also, if you give yourself one thing thatyou crave per day you'll cut back on the amt of times that you reach for the sweets. maybe try bringing a dark chocolate bar with you and having a couple squares per day if it helps. dark chocolate has some excellent benefits and also satisfies your cravings for sugar! __________________