Question about sex

????? · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:18 AM

Hello
I actually post under another name but I want to stay anonymous.

I have an embarrassing question.

Does anyone here not enjoy sex?

I have been with my SO for many years. Thank God he is understanding and does not pressure me.

I just have no interest. I went to the doctor and he is running a test on my hormone levels. I am waiting for my test results.

Blair Waldorf · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:21 AM

Is this something new or have you never enjoyed sex? I know of girls who don't like sex, or who feel pain when they have sex, and I don't know how chronic these conditions are. It's probably a good idea to talk to your doctor. Good luck with any test results.

PS. I don't think you're allowed to have more than one user name, though I understand your concern for anonymity.

Sternchen · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:30 AM

Have you never been interested in it?? I did go through a time like this with my exboyfriend. I didn't need it, it didn't excite me, I just wasn't in the mood. In the end I attributed it to the fact that things had gotten boring in the bedroom and I was no longer physically attracted to my boyfriend.

I think it's good that you have gone to your doctor to talk about this. I hope that they are able to find a resolution! If not, there are things like sex-therapy out there. Maybe you could try that??

This may be out of my boundaries, but were you sexually abused as a child?? Based on what I learned in college during my human sexuality and psychology courses, many women who were sexually abused at some point in their lives tend to view sex differently and many are less likely to enjoy it. Now, this isn't a generalisation about all women..But it could very likely be a factor.

Hope that everything works out!

beljwl · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:33 AM

I hope your Dr. can help you

????? · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lamiastella

Have you never been interested in it?? I did go through a time like this with my exboyfriend. I didn't need it, it didn't excite me, I just wasn't in the mood. In the end I attributed it to the fact that things had gotten boring in the bedroom and I was no longer physically attracted to my boyfriend.

I think it's good that you have gone to your doctor to talk about this. I hope that they are able to find a resolution! If not, there are things like sex-therapy out there. Maybe you could try that??

This may be out of my boundaries, but were you sexually abused as a child?? Based on what I learned in college during my human sexuality and psychology courses, many women who were sexually abused at some point in their lives tend to view sex differently and many are less likely to enjoy it. Now, this isn't a generalisation about all women..But it could very likely be a factor.

Hope that everything works out!

Before I met my SO I had many different boyfriends when I was a teen. (all of who I had sex with) I lost my virginity at 14.

Yes it is painful but maybe because I am just not into it.

The longest I went without it was 5 years. Like i said thank god I have an understanding SO. And we have only had sex only once since that 5 year dry spell.

As fas as being abused as a child. No..... At least not that I remember. If I was I have totally blocked it out. Some times I wonder if that is the case.

Blair Waldorf · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ?????

Before I met my SO I had many different boyfriends when I was a teen. (all of who I had sex with) I lost my virginity at 14.

Yes it is painful but maybe because I am just not into it.

The longest I went without it was 5 years. Like i said thank god I have an understanding SO. And we have only had sex only once since that 5 year dry spell.

As fas as being abused as a child. No..... At least not that I remember. If I was I have totally blocked it out. Some times I wonder if that is the case.

Was it painful/unpleasurable with other partners too? I'm very glad you weren't abused (I'm going to assume that's the case, and I hope I'm right). Do you hate sex or just not like it? If you've had a 5-year dry spell, it sounds like you're more than just not interested.

Sternchen · Jun 11th, 2007, 05:55 AM

I'm glad to hear that you were not sexually abused. Has it been painful with your other partners?

????? · Jun 11th, 2007, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lamiastella

I'm glad to hear that you were not sexually abused. Has it been painful with your other partners?

I have been with my SO for just about 10 years now. It was not painful with others but it also was not painful when I first started having sex with my SO either. Sex was very frequent for the first few years but since then it is almost nothing.

He is also on the large side. So between that and just not being interested it really hurts.

venetiakim · Jun 11th, 2007, 06:08 AM

Maybe your Doc can help you with the hormones.Other than that maybe it's psychological.Are you through a rough phase?

Junkenpo · Jun 11th, 2007, 06:09 AM

Glad to hear that you're checking with your Doctor about hormone levels.... sometimes if things aren't balanced, it's hard to get interested in sex... and if you're not interested, sex is kind of hard to enjoy....

Also, there are certain medications that can have the side effect of lessening libido.... funny enough, when I'm on the pill, I notice I'm less interested in sex...but, that's the way my body reacts to the different hormones.

Ummm...and there are medical conditions that can make sex less pleasurable, even painful....Vaginismus, for example.... here's what Wikipedia say about it: Vaginismus It can happen to anyone....do some googling of whatever symptoms you notice during sex.... you'll probably find a lot of women in similar situations....

Junkenpo · Jun 11th, 2007, 06:14 AM

Oh yah... and if you have allergies & are on antihistamines....ugh! Not only do they dry out your sinuses, they dry you out "down there" too.... LOL.

If you aren't as interested in sex, and BF is on the larger side, perhaps you aren't lubricated enough? That would contribute to the pain....have SO be physically intimate for awhile w/o the penetration (massages, shower together, lots of naked cuddling)... help you relax w/o the "performance anxiety"....and never be afraid to reach for the KY!! It helps, I promise.

Liberté · Jun 11th, 2007, 06:23 AM

Let's just say that we're different. Not everyone are interested in it and will enjoy it. There's this whole new "asexual" thing going on now, but it's not researched well, and I would suggest trying out different things to see if it helps before "labelling" yourself that. You may just have a low sex drive from nature.

Kimm992 · Jun 11th, 2007, 12:27 PM

Seeing your doctor was definitely a good thing. There are lots of different things that can help with a low sex drive these days....so all is not lost!!

whistlerchic · Jun 11th, 2007, 12:31 PM

I would think it's a hormonal thing - my libido is definitely affected by what point I am at in my cycle - which is all about hormones.

TMI - since going off the pill, I am waay more into "it".

sailornep5 · Jun 11th, 2007, 12:40 PM

Hopefully you don't take this the wrong way, but I think that even if you don't feel like doing it....you should! Sex is an important part of a relationship, and men typically need it in order to feel sexy and important to their woman. While you said your SO doesn't pressure you (which means he's a nice guy), it doesn't mean that he doesn't long for it, and he will probably try to find ways to release that sexual tension. Not necessarily cheating (although some men do), but he'll find ways to do it without you, which will continue to create a larger intimacy gap between you two.

I know that sometimes you may not feel like it initially, but when you actually start doing it, do you start getting into the mood? Does seeing him get pleasure excite you? Don't feel like you have to climax every time...sometimes seeing him happy is enough, and can be enough. I agree with the others, maybe you two can take longer with the foreplay. Or take medication if that's what's determined to be the problem. But you should definitely address it and work on it. Don't accept being in a relationship where you two just decide on never (or rarely) having sex, because eventually one (or both) of you will go elsewhere. Good luck!

Jun 11th, 2007, 05:18 AM	#1
????? Member	Question about sex Hello I actually post under another name but I want to stay anonymous. I have an embarrassing question. Does anyone here not enjoy sex? I have been with my SO for many years. Thank God he is understanding and does not pressure me. I just have no interest. I went to the doctor and he is running a test on my hormone levels. I am waiting for my test results.

Jun 11th, 2007, 05:21 AM	#2
Blair Waldorf Member	Re: Question about sex Is this something new or have you never enjoyed sex? I know of girls who don't like sex, or who feel pain when they have sex, and I don't know how chronic these conditions are. It's probably a good idea to talk to your doctor. Good luck with any test results. PS. I don't think you're allowed to have more than one user name, though I understand your concern for anonymity.

Jun 11th, 2007, 05:30 AM	#3
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Location: Beauty RAOK	Re: Question about sex Have you never been interested in it?? I did go through a time like this with my exboyfriend. I didn't need it, it didn't excite me, I just wasn't in the mood. In the end I attributed it to the fact that things had gotten boring in the bedroom and I was no longer physically attracted to my boyfriend. I think it's good that you have gone to your doctor to talk about this. I hope that they are able to find a resolution! If not, there are things like sex-therapy out there. Maybe you could try that?? This may be out of my boundaries, but were you sexually abused as a child?? Based on what I learned in college during my human sexuality and psychology courses, many women who were sexually abused at some point in their lives tend to view sex differently and many are less likely to enjoy it. Now, this isn't a generalisation about all women..But it could very likely be a factor. Hope that everything works out! __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Jun 11th, 2007, 05:33 AM	#4
beljwl Springsteen Fan!!!! Location: West Hollywood, CA	Re: Question about sex I hope your Dr. can help you __________________ ATTN: SoCal members- If you would like an evite for our upcoming meet please PM me your email address Check out my collection at http://forum.purseblog.com/your-bag-...on-356623.html

Jun 11th, 2007, 05:55 AM	#7
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Location: Beauty RAOK	Re: Question about sex I'm glad to hear that you were not sexually abused. Has it been painful with your other partners? __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Jun 11th, 2007, 06:08 AM	#9
venetiakim call me Princess Location: Greece, Rethymno	Re: Question about sex Maybe your Doc can help you with the hormones.Other than that maybe it's psychological.Are you through a rough phase? __________________

Jun 11th, 2007, 06:09 AM	#10
Junkenpo Boom, baby! Location: 2500 miles from any continental landmass	Re: Question about sex Glad to hear that you're checking with your Doctor about hormone levels.... sometimes if things aren't balanced, it's hard to get interested in sex... and if you're not interested, sex is kind of hard to enjoy.... Also, there are certain medications that can have the side effect of lessening libido.... funny enough, when I'm on the pill, I notice I'm less interested in sex...but, that's the way my body reacts to the different hormones. Ummm...and there are medical conditions that can make sex less pleasurable, even painful....Vaginismus, for example.... here's what Wikipedia say about it: Vaginismus It can happen to anyone....do some googling of whatever symptoms you notice during sex.... you'll probably find a lot of women in similar situations.... __________________ Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky] PONDERING: Damier Pochette Melville, mini pochette, Naviglio; Ivoire Epi Alma; Amarante cles or keyholder...

Jun 11th, 2007, 06:14 AM	#11
Junkenpo Boom, baby! Location: 2500 miles from any continental landmass	Re: Question about sex Oh yah... and if you have allergies & are on antihistamines....ugh! Not only do they dry out your sinuses, they dry you out "down there" too.... LOL. If you aren't as interested in sex, and BF is on the larger side, perhaps you aren't lubricated enough? That would contribute to the pain....have SO be physically intimate for awhile w/o the penetration (massages, shower together, lots of naked cuddling)... help you relax w/o the "performance anxiety"....and never be afraid to reach for the KY!! It helps, I promise. __________________ Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky] PONDERING: Damier Pochette Melville, mini pochette, Naviglio; Ivoire Epi Alma; Amarante cles or keyholder...

Jun 11th, 2007, 06:23 AM	#12
Liberté Member	Re: Question about sex Let's just say that we're different. Not everyone are interested in it and will enjoy it. There's this whole new "asexual" thing going on now, but it's not researched well, and I would suggest trying out different things to see if it helps before "labelling" yourself that. You may just have a low sex drive from nature. __________________

Jun 11th, 2007, 12:27 PM	#13
Kimm992 Member Location: Toronto, Canada	Re: Question about sex Seeing your doctor was definitely a good thing. There are lots of different things that can help with a low sex drive these days....so all is not lost!! __________________ ~Kimmy~

Jun 11th, 2007, 12:31 PM	#14
whistlerchic Member	Re: Question about sex I would think it's a hormonal thing - my libido is definitely affected by what point I am at in my cycle - which is all about hormones. TMI - since going off the pill, I am waay more into "it".

Jun 11th, 2007, 12:40 PM	#15
sailornep5 Member Location: SF Bay Area, CA	Re: Question about sex Hopefully you don't take this the wrong way, but I think that even if you don't feel like doing it....you should! Sex is an important part of a relationship, and men typically need it in order to feel sexy and important to their woman. While you said your SO doesn't pressure you (which means he's a nice guy), it doesn't mean that he doesn't long for it, and he will probably try to find ways to release that sexual tension. Not necessarily cheating (although some men do), but he'll find ways to do it without you, which will continue to create a larger intimacy gap between you two. I know that sometimes you may not feel like it initially, but when you actually start doing it, do you start getting into the mood? Does seeing him get pleasure excite you? Don't feel like you have to climax every time...sometimes seeing him happy is enough, and can be enough. I agree with the others, maybe you two can take longer with the foreplay. Or take medication if that's what's determined to be the problem. But you should definitely address it and work on it. Don't accept being in a relationship where you two just decide on never (or rarely) having sex, because eventually one (or both) of you will go elsewhere. Good luck!