Problem with Drinking?

[Little Tiger]

I feel a bit guilty posting this, as I can't find a similar thread! Sorry all, everyone is much more sensible than me.

But I really wanted advice about my drinking: I certainly don't drink every day, and most of the time drinking is not a problem, but every few months I seem (sorry don't mean to absolve myself of blame, I know it's my fault) to get REALLY drunk, to the point of not remembering how I get to bed.

It's always in a safe environment, with friends, family or at home, but I can't quite understand why I do this every now and then? It's forgivable in a teenager, but I'm in my thirties.

Since it happens every few months I haven't sought help for it, I tend to forget about it, but should I? I couldn't stand going to AA (I'm not religious and it would really set my teeth on edge) but I'm not sure how to alleviate the situation?

Any responses would be helpful

[alexis77]

First of all, no need to apologize for seeking to cease behavior that is obviously bothering you. I'm not a doctor or a medical professional, but it seems as if maybe the problem is binge drinking. I'm sure if you talk to your doctor or even research binge drinking, you will find out the effects that it can have on your health.

As far as doing it every few months--again I do not know you, am not judging, and not in any way a medical professional--have you ever had/do you have problems with depression? Sometimes depression isn't always present in day-to-day life, and manifests itself in so many ways.

Talk to your doctor, family, and friends--reaching out to others is the best way to cease potentially harmful behaviors.

Take care.

[LOREBUNDE]

I used to do that. Every now and then just have to get it out of my system. It usually wouldn't be planned that way, it would just happen. After the last time though, somewhat embarrasing not to mention the hangover I'm very careful not to ever get to that point. I guess as long as it's not every month you s/b ok. It's good though that you are aware of your actions and may think twice now before over-indulging.

[bipolarbear]

Ditto all the above.

Given the low frequency that you're describing, the risk to your physical health is probably less than that to your emotional health. If this is bothering you enough to think about it, let alone post about it, then it's a problem for you and that's what matters.

The safe environment part is super-important. It's sad to see how many people have truely tragic and life changing events happen in a moment when they are vunerable.

As alexis77 says, think about what's going on when you do this and consider other ways that won't bother you as much to handle those times - whether they're ups or downs.

AA has certainly helped many, but there are many other resources out there, from friends to your GP. If you're not religious or into meetings, you might want to consider reading a book on rational recovery - it's an alternate non-meeting, non-religious system that also works for some. The important thing is that you find a place where you feel that your drinking or not drinking is at a level that you are comfortable with.

Good luck!

[Little Tiger]

Thanks guys, I love this forum, but I felt like the ugly cousin posting this :;

[Little Tiger]

Thanks Alexis, I think you're right, thought I'm not quite sure how to go about treating it.

I just know I don't want to have these few months blips as I do.

[Little Tiger]

I don't want to alienate anyone I love :-(

I have some lovely friends, and if I put them off by my in frequent slip-ups I'm not sure how to improve myself?

[boxermom]

Blackouts (not remembering how you got to bed, as you say) are a bad sign. It can be one of the symptoms of alcoholism. When you get drunk you are killing your brain cells and harming your liver. The frequency isn't so much the issue, but if it's causing health or other problems in your life, then it's a problem.

Contrary to what many people believe, AA isn't a religious program. Atheists, agnostics and any sort of belief can find a home in AA. The Big Book (their bible) even has a chapter to atheists and agnostics. In the 12 Steps, rather than using the word God, they say higher power, to allow people to believe in whatever they want. Most meetings do end with the Lord's Prayer however, and that's an individual thing--you can hold hands and not repeat it.

So don't dismiss AA simply on religious grounds--they have helped millions of people get and stay sober.

You are the only one who can determine if your drinking is a problem that needs to be addressed. If you tend to be depressed, remember that alcohol is a depressant and you will feel worse afterwards, in addition to the hangover.

Best wishes. There are many more people out there thinking about this who aren't posting. Bravo to you!

[BagAngel]

I tend to think that if you are posting about it here then you are having doubts about your drinking & think that it may be a problem! Perhaps you are looking for reassuramce that what you describe is not a problem? I am not going to give you that, I think that you should seriously consider why this happens & what you can do to help yourself from this developing into a much bigger issue.
I am not being cruel or insensitive, I just think that you need to look at where you are at & what you can do about it. It does sound to me like when you drink you certainly drink way too much. Wishing you all the very best to get this sorted.

[JetSetGo!]

Don't feel badly about posting this. I used to drink to the point of blacking out, and in time it got to be more and more often. It's embarrassing to share that, but it's real. I have read that this can be an allergic reaction to alcohol. For me, allergy or not, I just didn't have that "off" switch that some other people have.

No matter the reason for you, if your drinking habits, physical reactions or the things you do while you're drunk concerns you, it's a sign to pay attention to what your body and life are telling you. You could talk to your doctor, a therapist, or even just check out an AA meeting, just to hear what these people have to say. That way, you can discern your own situation with a informed mind. I don't think there's a blanket rule about this issue. It's very personal.

I am not in AA, but I did quit drinking almost 6 years ago, at the urging of my husband. It's the best thing I have ever done, and the most important to my well-being. I am so glad to know what I have done (and not done!) the night before.

I am so proud of you for seeking answers about this. You are very strong.

[Hally]

Not all alcoholics drink every day. I would be very concerned if someone in my life drank to the point of blacking out, even if it was once every few months.

Binge drinking can be physically (and emotionally) harmful, so I hope you are able to take care of yourself.

[Nieners]

If you think there might be a problem, there is one most of the time.
Why don't you stop drinking at all and see if you feel the urge to drink? If so, I'd suggest talking to your doctor about this. If not, you'll be fine.

[Little Tiger]

Thanks all. I've been mulling it over and know I'm a bit depressed about some unexpected family deaths, and think that this occasional blacking out through drinking is the symptom rather than the cause.

And yes it's definitely binge rather than a physical dependency.

JetSetGo! it really helped me reading your post - I had the same thing, just not knowing the 'off' switch. It's so reassuring knowing someone understands (and I'm SO glad you have done so well!).

I'm terrified about alienating the people I love through this occasional stupidity. I think it's time I faced up to my emotional flaws and got some help for them, I really don't want to go to my GP or AA (I don't want pills - I'm fine most of the time, I just get overemotional sometimes and want to be a more balanced person).

I feel like an 'ugly' person when I do it and am very quick to guilt, I guess this is a form of depression. The trouble is that as it's every once in a while, it's too easy for me to write it off inbetween incidences.

I've decided to see a counsellor and get some help about the feelings of loss and worthlessless I get at times instead of deadening it every now and then with alcohol.

Thanks again

[bipolarbear]

Good for you!

I guarantee you that you're not the only person you know that has been through problems with alcohol. Find a support system and counsellor who can help you. It's amazing how drinking, whether binge or regularly goes hand in hand with depression and loss of a feeling of self-worth. It so often seems like those feelings make it necessary to drink, but the drinking only brings them out even more in a terrible spiral.

Binging can be a real issue with the shut-off switch. After that first drink (or two), any restraint you had not to have the next gets weaker and weaker. Don't feel bad. Many have this with food and other things that seem to comfort them at the time. Often if it's something like drinking, the easiest thing is just not to have the first drink.

The people you are most worried about alienating are likely the ones who will only come closer to you as you grow and change and if you feel comfortable reaching out to any of them for help in the process.

If you stop, I think you will be amazed in a few weeks or months how much better you feel about yourself. All best and love going out to you in this.

[Little Tiger]

Thanks, honey - you're exceptionally sweet! *hearts*

Yes I'll talk to the people I love about this, and hopefully counselling will help in the long term. I deal very badly with loss (at the moment?! Hopefully!) and it would be wonderful to cope with things better.

Thing is I'm usually quite a sunny and optimistic person, so it was very difficult for me to reach to the conclusion that I might actually be depressed.