Hayden Harnett Hotties Hangout - Let's talk!!

[dcblam]

Originally Posted by jennirane

*sigh* Thanks all of you. I'm obviously calmer than I was last night, but still very upset. I'm upset because we are constantly monitored and reminded to "read the rules", which I did, many times. I don't think it's very mature or good business practice to have a set of unwritten rules you slap peoples' hands for. I can't read the administrators' minds. So that's the first thing. The second thing is that the message I received was very terse, with no explanation, no "you may not have realized that this was an unspoken rule" or whatever. It just said someone had reported on me. So no, I don't think the whole thing was handled well. Post the rules you want us to follow, and we'll do our best, but when we stumble, treat us like a fellow adult and give us the benefit of the doubt. But the third thing is what RMC is getting at--that there's someone here who hides behind the anonymity of running to the mods, and that that someone apparently has something personal against me or my sister. That's incredibly upsetting because I've tried to be supportive of other members, I've tried to keep things light and to keep conversations going, I've done research when I can (finding thread and posting pics) all of it. I'm sure some feel I've shared more of my life than they found comfortable or appropriate, but that's simply who I am... I life my life like a fairly open book, and knowing someone who loved being a hall monitor in the third grade is now gunning for you (and you have no idea who she is) is horrible. RMC is right, that there's always someone like that, but in most situations, you know who that person is. So whether or not I smooth things over with Swanky, I definitely need a break. And if the person who "reported" on me reads this, please know that what you did was shallow and mean-spirited and says a lot more about you than me. You should have been a real woman, a kind person, and just PM'd me that you understood what I did to be a no-no. That's what I would have done. And everyone else, I'll pop in occasionally (unless I can't) and won't let this run me off for good, but girlfriend needs a break. Please be kind to one another, even in the little stuff.

jenn -
in my previous post....I was "trying" to be funny and lighthearted -
and I was remiss at not conveying to you that yes, I can totally understand and see how you would be upset over all of this, especially being "reported"....yuck.

I think a bit of RR will do you a "spot of good"....
we will miss U, but completely understand...and we will do OUR BEST to be kind to eachother.....the little stuff ain't so little once you count 'em up!

[bonbandurski]

Oh Blam- you definitely came across as being funny and lighthearted:) Please don't worry- I know Jen took your post the way you meant it!

Hotties- thanks for your kind words of support. I have to say I am really upset at this- I am hurt that Jen is being censored because we happen to share the same parents. She certainly didn't stand to make anything off of my auction- her posting would have been the same as if one of you had posted my auctions! She certainly didn't talk them up in the chat thread or anything... I agree with what RMC said above- several of you feel like 'sisters' to me and I have had more communication with some of you than I have with friends in my everyday life! It is unnerving to think that either I or Jen has ticked someone off to the extent that our every move is watched- waiting for the right moment to REPORT us to the principal.

I have stayed on the sidelines recently- not posting much- because my poor bank account needs to recoup and I have been feeling blue about not being able to indulge in my love for HH... I can appreciate that Swanky has the unhappy task of watching us and pulling our coat-tails when we get a little crazy- but if the rule in question is not written anywhere, or if the rule in question is written so vaguely as to cause confusion in its interpretation- then the rules need to be clarified so that we can all follow them. No rule was intentionally broken- and I am upset that Jen was tried and convicted before she was even given a chance to answer the charges.

And I wonder why the person felt the need to report this non-existent rule-breakage. Really? Someone is THAT concerned with the rules that they are going to tattle-tale? REALLY??? Or.... did either my sister or I hurt someone in some way and this is how they deal with it?

To the person who reported her post of my auction: If either myself or Jen DID upset you in ANY of our posts- PLEASE let us know. We are actually very nice people and quite capable of offering our apologies for any stepping-on-toes that we may have done. I assure you that if that has happened- I would feel TERRIBLE (and Jen would, too!). In the future it is always better to PM the person who has stepped on your toes and ask for clarification. Talk it out and resolve the issue- everyone stands to benefit from mature, non-inflammatory conflict resolution. Seriously. Trumping up nebulous rule violations is just tacky and immature- it only serves to breed suspicion and bad feelings. For shame. I would expect better from a Hottie.

In closing- I apologize to the Hotties for having to read this rant Truly- even just reading your posts over the last several months has lightened my heart during tough economic times:) I have been living vicariously through you and without even knowing it, you gals have been making me smile. That is why this is so upsetting...

[dreamofpompidou]

Awww! What a bummer! Sorry to hear this Jennirane and bonbandurski. :( We <3 you!!!!

[lulu3955]

Well said BON! I think the idea of working it out in PM is a great idea. All of us hotties are very reasonable people and easy to talk to.

I actually don't post any deals from Minnesota anymore for risk of being accused of knowing that person. Which has happened before. All of us minnesotians seem to know each other??? There is a gal who is from the same city that I live in that lists HHs all the time. I have no idea who she is, I might like to know her, given her awesome collection LOL but I've never post for the fear that I might get booted. ITS LAME

I'm so sorry to hear about this Jenn & Bon

[chodessa]

Wow. Jenni I hope you don't stay away too long. Don't let the actions of a silent lurker/reporter keep you away from the virtual friends you have made here. The benefits of your friends here must outweigh this situation, no?
I've received messaged from the Mods as well, so I know how insulting their tone and lack of info can be.
What the heck is an unspoken rule? Seriously.
Well said Bon. Tried and convicted before she was given a chance to answer the charges.
HUGS LADIES.

[Miss Curly]

I find it troubling that you can get in trouble for unspoken rules. How are you to know about it if it isn't written down somewhere? It seems like this whole thing could have been handled much better.

Well, I hope you take your break and come back to us Jenni. Like RMC said, there's one in every crowd.

[sallyca]

Ummm - it's my first time posting in the hotties section but just wanted to say to jennirane - you have been a huge help to me in giving advice and looking stuff up. You have a warm and generous spirit. I will miss your posts but hope that your break is good for you if that's what you need right now. (Virtual hug).

To the deceitful and immature "reporter"...there are a lot of rude things I could say but let me just say this...next time you are tempted to report someone for an unwritten rule, TRY stepping up and acting adult first. In the end, you will feel much much better. Remember what happened to the Grinch's heart??? It got bigger.

[bonbandurski]

Lu- what? You Minnestoans DON'T all know each other? Holy crap!


Jen- I agree with Cho (thanks, sweetie!) and others who have posted- I hope you don't stay away from the forum- as long as you aren't booted, that is!
I know you love the banter and the bags- and this is the result of the actions of ONE person- it is not representative of the vast majority of the Hotties:)

You are loved and your stylish wit will be missed on this forum.

[chodessa]

Originally Posted by bonbandurski

You are loved and your stylish wit will be missed on this forum.

Exactly... and I'm not even your sister!

[annam]

Wait you're leaving? The one person who totally understands my love for all things kelly green??
What is wrong with some people??
I understand why you are leaving but sad to see you go.
HUGS.
Anna

Originally Posted by jennirane

*sigh* Thanks all of you. I'm obviously calmer than I was last night, but still very upset. I'm upset because we are constantly monitored and reminded to "read the rules", which I did, many times. I don't think it's very mature or good business practice to have a set of unwritten rules you slap peoples' hands for. I can't read the administrators' minds. So that's the first thing. The second thing is that the message I received was very terse, with no explanation, no "you may not have realized that this was an unspoken rule" or whatever. It just said someone had reported on me. So no, I don't think the whole thing was handled well. Post the rules you want us to follow, and we'll do our best, but when we stumble, treat us like a fellow adult and give us the benefit of the doubt. But the third thing is what RMC is getting at--that there's someone here who hides behind the anonymity of running to the mods, and that that someone apparently has something personal against me or my sister. That's incredibly upsetting because I've tried to be supportive of other members, I've tried to keep things light and to keep conversations going, I've done research when I can (finding thread and posting pics) all of it. I'm sure some feel I've shared more of my life than they found comfortable or appropriate, but that's simply who I am... I life my life like a fairly open book, and knowing someone who loved being a hall monitor in the third grade is now gunning for you (and you have no idea who she is) is horrible. RMC is right, that there's always someone like that, but in most situations, you know who that person is. So whether or not I smooth things over with Swanky, I definitely need a break. And if the person who "reported" on me reads this, please know that what you did was shallow and mean-spirited and says a lot more about you than me. You should have been a real woman, a kind person, and just PM'd me that you understood what I did to be a no-no. That's what I would have done. And everyone else, I'll pop in occasionally (unless I can't) and won't let this run me off for good, but girlfriend needs a break. Please be kind to one another, even in the little stuff.

[paelaf]

What the eff jenni?! That is beyond lame. It sux that we have to be so careful around here so the boardnazis don't get us And for what?! ppppp I guess there are just some people on here gunning for that mod job! Anyway, so sorry this happened, but it's just one person...and what's that compared to the rest of us wonderful hotties?

[dmc60]

Originally Posted by jennirane

Hi Everyone... Apropos of nothing, this may be my last post. I got home and someone had "REPORTED" to the mods that I'd posted a link to one of Bonnie's auctions. Not that that's against any of the rules I've read, but apparently it's against the unspoken rules, and some coward who must be nostalgic for Germany in the 30s (or at the very least petty, shallow, and incredibly bored) felt they needed to "report" it rather than simply giving me a heads-up that it was frowned upon. If I don't post again, either because my very upset, angry msg to the mods gets me kicked off, or I decide I don't want to be around even a few people who are that petty and negative, please know that for the most part, I've really enjoying hanging out with a great group of women. If anyone wants to stay in touch, my email is simply jennirane@yahoo.com. Y'all take care now!

Buying/Selling on tPF
Public selling/buying/trading is not permitted. Threads of WTS or WTB nature will be locked or deleted.
Soliciting your items for sale via Private Messages is prohibited.
Linking your own auctions is not permitted, in posts, signatures or otherwise. This includes eBay, eCrater, iOffer and other auction-type sites.
Selling of personal items is only permitted in the invite-only Marketplaza. Instructions on how to gain access are posted here.

Got the above info from the official rules. Unless I am mis-reading, it only says you are not allowed to link YOUR OWN auction. And since the rules also state we must post in english, I am pretty sure I have read that correctly.....

[chodessa]

Maybe a Mod can help clarify for us?

[Stormy Heart]

Lulu if you are around, please update us on BFF's husband, How is he doing ? The nightmare he is suffering has been haunting me. I asked my DH (career Army) how it could be handled and he gave me encouraging words. My heart is with you and Laurent, his Daddy and Grandparents.

[lulu3955]

Thanks stormy :)
He is getting shipped back home in a couple of days. It took a little while cuz they were "mid action" is what he could tell us. Laurent is doing fine with his grandparents. I saw him earlier today and he was jolly and he doesn't cry much. Laurent's DDad seems to be doing ok. he has been emailing us frequently and tells us that it's all going to be ok. He has needed some help keeping laurent out of the foster system and in the hands of his grandparents. happy to help on that front.
We are all doing well.