Hayden Harnett Hotties Hangout - Let's talk!!

[mishka]

Hey you guys? I went to the dentist a few times over the last few weeks. I hadn't gone for a long time because I was assaulted years ago and for some reason I aquired a phobia about the dentist. Anyways, so my dentist is female, super cute, and about my age. I'd invite her for margaritas even.

BUT - today in a little while I have to go to the oral surgeon who is not cute, not female, and I'm not sure about the margarita thing. I"m totally scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone tell me it's no big deal?

[jennirane]

Mishka--

It's certainly a big deal to you, obviously, and you certainly shouldn't downplay your own "phobia" (although it sounds like a perfectly reasonable fear to have after a horrible experience). Recognize and acknowledge your fear, recognize and acknowledge that it has its roots in your need to protect yourself... but also try to put it into perspective. I've never felt that fear, per se, but was blown away by how quickly and totally I was "out" when I had oral surgery... you feel completely vulnerable.

If I were you, I'd call your dentist and explain to her that you need some reassurance about the surgeon's character, that you're uncomfortable being incapacitated around a man, and simply ask her how long she's known him or if she does... if she doesn't, try to find someone who does. The other thing you can do is ask the nurse and anesthesiologist (sp??) to make sure there's more than one person in the room at any time (you can phrase it that way so they'll think you're asking from health reasons/reactions to anesthesia/etc.) while you're out. My guess is that it's a common question, and that your fear is also one that many women feel. I wonder, too, if there's a way a friend could be in the room with you? (Not sure how involved a surgery it is...)

You're probably 100% safe, but you should always listen to and acknowledge fear. Just respect it and be reasonable with yourself... if it's necessary (i.e. if you can't reschedule or there isn't a female surgeon available) get as much reassurance as you can.

Be strong!
Jen

[lulu3955]

Originally Posted by mishka

Hey you guys? I went to the dentist a few times over the last few weeks. I hadn't gone for a long time because I was assaulted years ago and for some reason I acquired a phobia about the dentist. Anyways, so my dentist is female, super cute, and about my age. I'd invite her for margaritas even. BUT - today in a little while I have to go to the oral surgeon who is not cute, not female, and I'm not sure about the margarita thing. I"m totally scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone tell me it's no big deal?

You'll be fine. I too cower at the thought of denists. Just tell yourself you'll be fine and you will. Self persuasion and Bio feedback. Think happy and you will be happy.
As for the Margaritas.....you thinking "Margaritas" *with a hand shake* or "Margaritas" *hey lets make out in the bathroom* If it's the latter of the two I say go for it!

Originally Posted by jennirane

Absolutely! Well done, Lulu!! (BTW saw some really cool long, beachy dresses--some halter style, some strapless with ruching) in L/XL at Old Navy of all places yesterday... the XL looked like a good 12/14...

My brother told me about the dresses at old navy I might have to give it a whirl cuz he said they were like 15 bucks and you can't go wrong for that price.

Originally Posted by mishka

Lulu! I love it! That's awesome! I can't wait to see the thread!

I'm going to start it right now since there seems to be very few online to start chatting during the process. So, here we go....

[mishka]

Thanks you guys! It's just a consult today, and I'll see if I can convey my fears accurately and sufficiently. I am sure it's fine, my dentist knows him, but I'm just scared. I'll let you know how it goes! Out the door now. (actually going a little early because I have all my stuff together. I tend to subconsciously "lose" my keys, phone, ipod, wallet, purse etc when I have to do these things. Last time I couldn't find my keys for an hour and they were in my underwear drawer?!?!?!?)

[chodessa]

Have no worries Mishka!!
Girl, you swing from trapezes in the sky!!!
An oral surgeon is NOTHING in comparison... you're supergirl.. you can kick BUTT HOTTIE!!!

[cciele]

mishka -- *big hugs* You've overcome a lot in your life; I think you can handle this too. Please let us know how it goes!

[Sybaryte]

Originally Posted by jennirane

And if all else fails, remember it's a holiday invented to sell ties and golf tees.

Loved your story but I'm with you on the manufactured holidays!

For me, yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my mother's death. My sister called me from her mini-vacation in your neck of the woods; that was nice. If I were to start talking about fathers and step-fathers (also long gone), it would very quickly disintegrate into a version of Monty Python's skit "Luxury" so I'll give that a miss!

No disrespect meant to those with tender feelings.

[EYE HEART BAGS]

Originally Posted by skydive nikki

Gingeybear, Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone gets down once in a while. I tend to not like some of the holidays too. My family is not very close, or should I say, I am not really close with my family. My boyfriends family is like the Brady bunch. They are the perfect family. It gets hard spending time with them sometimes because I think I get jealous. Last christmas we were all together and they were playing games and I had to run to the bathroom cuz I was starting to cry. It is hard sometimes seeing everyone so happy when you are not. Know that you have us to talk to. WE LOVE YOU HERE!

You are such a sweety Sky!!

[gingeybear]

Originally Posted by Sybaryte

Loved your story but I'm with you on the manufactured holidays! For me, yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my mother's death. My sister called me from her mini-vacation in your neck of the woods; that was nice. If I were to start talking about fathers and step-fathers (also long gone), it would very quickly disintegrate into a version of Monty Python's skit "Luxury" so I'll give that a miss! No disrespect meant to those with tender feelings.

Syb..is that the one where they try to "outpoor" one another? No tender feelings here..no disrespect taken either..me..yesterday was just a bad day at black rock. I like the fact that you shoot straight from the hip..no holds barred. I mean it. It's refreshing because you dish it out..and take it too. I like that as well.

My mom and dad..and now DH & I always told/tell the kids..that one day out of the year is BS..we need to be respected every day the rest meaningless..but for some reason, that last Father's Day, I needed to celebrate it the hokey way..I'm still not 100% sure if I was doing it for me..or for my Dad..I was also really cranky yesterday..a bit less today..but still hating this gloom and rain..I mean c'mon..60 degrees and raining..day after day after day..in June?

Will you cringe if I virtually hug you?


Went to the cemetary today to say hi. Left stones on numerous graves..and a falafel ball on my Dad's grave..I think he was laughing at me.

[gingeybear]

Originally Posted by EYE HEART BAGS

You are such a sweety Sky!!

Yup..that she is..tru that..and I love both the tender and the tough love I get here.

[EYE HEART BAGS]

Are you feeling better today? I hope so. I kept thinking of you!

[Sybaryte]

Originally Posted by gingeybear

It's refreshing because you dish it out..and take it too. I like that as well. Will you cringe if I virtually hug you?

Thank you...on both counts. LOL at the cringe comment...I'm not as crispy as I may sound. Just not sentimental about certain traditions. I love hugs...I've made sure that my sister and my four legged family get a lot of them! And I get a lot back.

[mishka]

Dentist update:

Ok, you guys, I totally screwed that up. I drove over there to the oral surgeon, but my appointment isn't until July 22... I guess I missed the part where they said JuLY instead of June. Not that they sound the same or anything.... JooooLie. Jooooooon. I'm so mad at myself! I can't wait for July 22, because my one of my wisdom teeth is trying to escape and hurts really badly. So I had to get two more referrals which I will call here in a little bit. I do have another dentist appt today though, because I guess when you don't go for a while, there is so much to do, that you have to come back again and again for weeks. I'm not scared of my dentist though.

Oh and Lulu, dear. I just meant you know, margaritas, like grilling some fish on the deck and inviting people over for margaritas. LOL. That did make me laugh though!

Thanks so much for all of the support! HHHotties are the best. I'm sure I'll let you know when my real appt is. And I'm definitely going to take the HHHotties advice!

[lulu3955]

Originally Posted by mishka

Oh and Lulu, dear. I just meant you know, margaritas, like grilling some fish on the deck and inviting people over for margaritas. LOL. That did make me laugh though!

LOL, I guess it's a sneak peak into what would happen if I had a couple of magaritas in me. Which is why I don't drink anymore. I'm one of those people that LOVES everybody.....or should I say every..body LOL

[jennirane]

Originally Posted by Sybaryte

I love hugs...I've made sure that my sister and my four legged family get a lot of them! And I get a lot back.

Sybaryte, sounds like you and your sis are a little like Bon and I... there's usually some point when we're together (after shopping, stopping for a Big Mac) when we just look at each other and say "How the F*@& did we survive childhood?" Like, nothing else has been said. It just hits us.

But you're right, and not the place for a Monty Python skit (although that just KILLED me... so bloody true!!)