Good Taste or Spoiled?

[irish_clover]

Originally Posted by CuTe_ClAsSy

Really? I've never known anybody to do that. I mean I know in like developing countries and stuff, but I've never actually met somebody who did that. That's so sad to me, that they can't just be a kid. A lot of you have said that kids shouldn't get rewarded for good grades, it's their job to get good grades. Well, just go with me here for a second, our parents get rewarded in the form of a paycheck for doing their jobs, so why shouldn't our parents reward us for doing ours if they so choose?

i knew a couple of people who paid "room and board" as one person put it to their parents while working part time jobs in high school.
I found it really really unfair. Not only were they taking time away from their studies to work like an adult they had to spend all their free time not even getting to be a kid.

I do think it's up to the parents if they want they want to reward their kid for doing well though. I had a hard time in math and it was so bad I dreaded going to class. When my mom saw I was trying so hard she rewarded me with as shopping trip but I don't think it's necessary to reward every single good grade just certain cases.
Yes parents get "rewarded" with pay cheques for doing their job..but it's not like they get a raise or bonus everytime they do something a little harder than usual or deal with a particularily difficult client or something. They only get bonuses or overtime for special things, and I think rewarding your kid should sort of be the same way; something that happens sometimes but not all the time.

[irish_clover]

Originally Posted by KittyKat65

Welcome to America, 2009 edition. You are very fortunate that you don't have to be exposed to the reality of the recession and people living at, or below, the poverty line. I would expect that if you are receiving expensive purses from your parents that you are shielded from this harsh reality and probably not living in an area where poverty is rampant. Here's some numbers for you: http://www.americanprogress.org/issu...y_numbers.html I think these numbers show a bleak future. A future where teens work to help pay for rent and food or everyone goes without. There are parts of the U.S. that rival Africa for poverty: http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/...ms/005673.html . Hard to believe in a country that also houses Beverly Hills and the Upper East Side of Manhattan and where kids go to expensive private schools and their biggest worry is about which bag they should carry. I don't consider that my parents were "rewarded" for working. They broke their backs working many long hours to pay for their house and put clothes on our backs and food on the table. To compare that to getting a pretty Louis Speedy for doing well in Algebra is offensive. A lot of the teens here are so indulged and blinded by it that cold, hard reality is either going to slap them in the face eventually, or they will remain oblivious in their little bubble of privilege. Something tells me it'll be the latter. Sad.

Good post. Thanks for those stats. It makes me realize how lucky I am.

[irish_clover]

Originally Posted by tadpolenyc

that's a bit condescending and harsh. will some spoiled children face a cruel and harsh reality check? yes, but don't think for a second that some self-righteous view of the "value of money" will automatically make anyone better equipped to deal with the sometimes unforgiving, unexpected travails of real life. i've seen the most humble and hard working people crumble like tissue paper in the face of adversity, and people whom i've erroneously dismissed as spoiled and out of touch, achieve great things, thereby, proving my judgmental ways terribly wrong. again, so few things in this world are so easily categorized in such black and white terms. perspective is always, always a good thing and i appreciate those links you posted. it's near impossible to celebrate willful ignorance, but on that token, no child should be made to feel ashamed for being born to prosperous parents either who are willing and able to do what they will to make their children happy and content.

Tadpole I don't think she was trying to make anyone feel ashamed, I think she was just trying to explain the reality of what some people are forced to live like.

[tadpolenyc]

oh, i know. that part wasn't necessarily directed towards kittykat. i'm just saying that all of us are luckier than most in one way or another, and while it's always good to be aware and grateful of that, it's okay to be wealthy and enjoy it too. having nice things doesn't equal insensitivity towards poverty just like being poor doesn't bestow you with a balanced perspective on life. many, many rich kids aren't as terrible as the ones shown on nyc prep or my sweet 16, but i understand that that is the prevailing stereotype.

[irish_clover]

agreed. I think it's only a problem if you are wealthy and looking down on others otherwise there's nothing wrong with having money and enjoying it :)

[ηαя¢ιςςα]

spoiled? yeah, but we all are. we're all spoiled for living with enough food on our tables and the chance to have a college education. there are teenagers who are more spoiled than those that carry around a designer bag. we all have an entitlement complex. how many times do you take for granted your ability to HAVE the time to study for school? or have three meals a day? most of us don't think about how lucky we are as often as we should. so it's silly accusing others of being ungrateful.

but it's also silly to call people jealous because they're questioning whether or not a teenager should have a designer bag. why would anyone be jealous of a teenager? that part of their lives are over (to the women on tPF, i'm still yet 17 >_<), why would they care what they had before if they're obviously very well off right now and have a larger bag collection than 99.9% of teenagers? jealousy? i'd say it's more like concern.

[KittyKat65]

Originally Posted by tadpolenyc

no child should be made to feel ashamed for being born to prosperous parents either who are willing and able to do what they will to make their children happy and content.

True, but I think all children should be taught that their privilege is not the norm. The poster I quoted seemed genuinely surprised that some teens actually help put food on the table. This same poster compared people who work hard to pay for their families as the same type of job as getting good grades. Umm, reality check time.

[Nyria]

Originally Posted by CuTe_ClAsSy

Really? I've never known anybody to do that. I mean I know in like developing countries and stuff, but I've never actually met somebody who did that. That's so sad to me, that they can't just be a kid. A lot of you have said that kids shouldn't get rewarded for good grades, it's their job to get good grades. Well, just go with me here for a second, our parents get rewarded in the form of a paycheck for doing their jobs, so why shouldn't our parents reward us for doing ours if they so choose?

It is sad but unfortunatly it is reality. Millions of kids in the States have to work to help support their families. Either because their parents chose to have kids when they couldn't afford them - or because they've fallen on hard times. With the poor economy it's becoming more and more the latter.
You don't have to look to develpoing countries to find extreme poverty - there are families in Canada and the states who literally have nothing.

[CuTe_ClAsSy]

Originally Posted by KittyKat65

Welcome to America, 2009 edition. You are very fortunate that you don't have to be exposed to the reality of the recession and people living at, or below, the poverty line. I would expect that if you are receiving expensive purses from your parents that you are shielded from this harsh reality and probably not living in an area where poverty is rampant. Here's some numbers for you: http://www.americanprogress.org/issu...y_numbers.html I think these numbers show a bleak future. A future where teens work to help pay for rent and food or everyone goes without. There are parts of the U.S. that rival Africa for poverty: http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/...ms/005673.html . Hard to believe in a country that also houses Beverly Hills and the Upper East Side of Manhattan and where kids go to expensive private schools and their biggest worry is about which bag they should carry. I don't consider that my parents were "rewarded" for working. They broke their backs working many long hours to pay for their house and put clothes on our backs and food on the table. To compare that to getting a pretty Louis Speedy for doing well in Algebra is offensive. A lot of the teens here are so indulged and blinded by it that cold, hard reality is either going to slap them in the face eventually, or they will remain oblivious in their little bubble of privilege. Something tells me it'll be the latter. Sad.

You make an excellent point and thank you for those links they were very interesting and I understand that a lot of children live in poverty and go without daily, I mean if you glance at the newspaper once a month or watch TV, you would know that. But I just don't really think it applies to what we're talking about. If you are on the purse forum for your love of designer bags its not like your living below the poverty line, working for food, and struggling to survive. The people here's parents can most likely afford a house and food for their children, so if they wish to spend money on their kids it's their choice. I wouldn't even compare the situation of the teens here, to the lives of many who are so much less fortunate. I was just trying to stay on context with the situation we were discussing. I hope that all made sense, I didn't really know how to word what I was trying to say.

[new.old.bag]

I am pretty well traveled and I think it's a bit of hyperbole to say that there are parts of the US where the poverty level rivals that of Africa. In the US, there are government programs to help the poor. In parts of Africa, there aren't even any governments.

There are whole families in other parts of the world who would think that living below the US standards of "poverty level" for one person would be living large to them and their family of 8. It's all relative.

http://aspe.hhs.gov/poverty/09poverty.shtml

With that said, I don't think it is anyone's place to judge what kind of gifts a teen gets from their parents, or what kind of rewards they receive for getting good grades. We have all different socioeconomic levels in the USA, but the difference here is that we also have a lot of social programs in place to help people, whether through education to boost themselves or through outright food handouts.

[bisousx]

Originally Posted by KittyKat65

True, but I think all children should be taught that their privilege is not the norm. The poster I quoted seemed genuinely surprised that some teens actually help put food on the table. This same poster compared people who work hard to pay for their families as the same type of job as getting good grades. Umm, reality check time.

I agree, I think it's a must for everyone to see the world for how it really is and so to better appreciate what we've got as well as help others as much as we can.

[KittyKat65]

Originally Posted by new.old.bag

I am pretty well traveled and I think it's a bit of hyperbole to say that there are parts of the US where the poverty level rivals that of Africa. In the US, there are government programs to help the poor. In parts of Africa, there aren't even any governments. There are whole families in other parts of the world who would think that living below the US standards of "poverty level" for one person would be living large to them and their family of 8. It's all relative.

I would like to know where in the world people would think poverty stricken Appalachia is "living large". 45% of people in the Appalachian area of Kentucky live well below the poverty line. Poor is poor. If you have zero money you have zero money. There is no less zero money than zero.

Originally Posted by new.old.bag

We have all different socioeconomic levels in the USA, but the difference here is that we also have a lot of social programs in place to help people, whether through education to boost themselves or through outright food handouts.

I am sure that is a tremendous relief to the 3.5 million homeless people in the U.S.

http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/305/homeless-facts.html

[CuTe_ClAsSy]

Originally Posted by KittyKat65

True, but I think all children should be taught that their privilege is not the norm. The poster I quoted seemed genuinely surprised that some teens actually help put food on the table. This same poster compared people who work hard to pay for their families as the same type of job as getting good grades. Umm, reality check time.

Sorry I thought that was a tad rude, but that's okay. Like I said I'm not comparing myself or any other teens here to children starving on the streets, I'm just speaking about the situation that us teens are in. And I'm not comparing me going to school to steel workers busting their asses to put food on the table for their kids, again I'm simply speaking that in my family, if my parents want to reward me for my work they nor I should be judged negatively for that. I think its rude to assume that just because us teens live more privileged lives we don't realize how lucky we are, and that others are not.

[bisousx]

I have a feeling this is going to go OT real quick...

Facts aside, what privileged families do with their children is not going to make a difference with our country's poor. I'm going to be blunt and say that I think it's silly when people say things like "that Gucci bag could feed a starving family"... because although I believe we should give back as much as possible, I wouldn't give up my lifestyle because someone else chose a different one. We are all given different personalities, skills and determination levels. We live in a country with capitalism, some people succeed in life and some don't. If privileged families choose to give their kids rewards while poorer ones cannot, that's just how it is. Of course I think everyone should make efforts to help each other, but not to an extent where someone else's choices run my life. Ok I went OT there. lol

[CuTe_ClAsSy]

Originally Posted by bisousx

I have a feeling this is going to go OT real quick... Facts aside, what privileged families do with their children is not going to make a difference with our country's poor. I'm going to be blunt and say that I think it's silly when people say things like "that Gucci bag could feed a starving family"... because although I believe we should give back as much as possible, I wouldn't give up my lifestyle because someone else chose a different one. We are all given different personalities, skills and determination levels. Some people succeed in life and some don't. If privileged families choose to give their kids rewards while poorer ones cannot, that's just how it is. Of course I think everyone should make efforts to help each other, but not to an extent where someone else's choices run my life.

Great post! I completely agree. Wow, I really just can not stay out of this thread.