Rant: In-Laws that make you uncomfortable...

V

Vuittonhammie

Member
Feb 14, 2006
687
1
#1
Long rant: Ok, so I have this brother in-law who always makes me feel uncomfortable whenever my husband and I visit. This guy now has 2 lovely kids, and a wife who works her #$$ off for everything. I first felt uncomfortable a couple of years ago, when his wife was pregnant with their first kid. He mentioned "better enjoy your figure now, because when you start having kids it will be gone forever" -- while his wife was out of earshot. He always brags about diving and hunting (I don't know how he can fit in a wetsuit now without looking like a beached whale) and always asks questions about anything related to money or politics or my weight (I am slim and athletic). He was pretty much homeless and penniless when my sister in law met him (SHE was the one who saved up and bought their first home and had equity) but now that he has a job (which she hooked him up with at her work) he just talks about money and he acts like he was the one responsible for the lifestyle they now have! :cursing:
He gives me the creeps every time I see him, and from what my mother in law says, he's pretty verbally abusive to his wife when no one else is around. I wish my sis in law would dump him, but there are the kids to worry about.
I just dread the day they want to visit us since we are near Disneyworld in FL (they live in CA). He looks me up and down each time, and is just so GROSS!! Any comebacks or anything anyone can think of to say when he prods in and starts mentioning money, the cost of our home, children someday (I don't plan on having any...but I don't dare mention that for fear of backlash from my husband's family), cars, watches, expensive things? Help me!! This stresses me out every time I think about them. EEEW!:wtf:
 
#2
Does it bother your husband that he acts this way?

I also have inlaws I can't stand... but luckily they live 3000 miles away. One in particular, is the wife of my husband's nephew. She is about 15 years younger than I am. I have only met her twice but both times she looked my husband and I over like we were trash. She has a really huge attitude of superiority. And considering what I know about her background, she really has no business judging anyone. Oh well. Good thing is that I never have to see her.
 
#4
I could write a book about my out-laws, but thankfully I never feel violated by them. I think you should talk to your husband about it - he should stick up for you or try to help you through this. Like previous responses - it also depends on how this louse is related to you... that should help your course of action. Sadly - it doesn't sound promising for their marriage and that sucks when kids are involved.
 
#5
This is my husband's sister's husband. My DH sees some of it, but for whatever reason starts to side with his family, probably because he doesn't want to cause drama...his response is "that's they way he is..." or "he just doesn't know better"
It's been 6 years... and my blood still overboils when I even go to Thanksgiving at their place. He's just so rude...and asks the same questions OVER and OVER... usually to compare income, material things. I get most peeved out about when he discusses my weight. After all, I am about 5 years younger than him!
 
#6
There's a part of me willing to just leave everything since I can't stand my in-laws so much! But now that we are geographically separated by the span of the US (my DH and I are now in FL the others are in CA), things are much better than they were before, relatively speaking. It's dreadful when you dread holidays.
Brother in-law (and his mother, yuck!) are both tacky (both had no money before, but now that they 'married into' the family...) Sorry, but I needed to rant!
Anyone have any good comeback lines about those questions I previously stated in my original thread? ANY help is appreciated folks!! Thanks friends!

My other sister-in law (who is so sweet) once said to him "You're an OUT-LAW, NOT AN IN-LAW!!!" :yahoo:
 
#7
Yuck. I totally feel for you. My husband seems to take a similar stand as yours, "that's just the way he is" and when I get upset about it, he tells me "don't make things worse." (I think men are allergic to drama.) However, my in-laws live much closer than yours! I have a hard time dealing with the pressure of it - I try to tell myself to rise above it - and sometimes I can. Don't bring yourself down to their level, just ignore it etc. I glass or two of wine definitely makes it easier for me!!

Chin up friend!! Good luck.
 
#8
sweetmama of 3 said:
Yuck. I totally feel for you. My husband seems to take a similar stand as yours, "that's just the way he is" and when I get upset about it, he tells me "don't make things worse." (I think men are allergic to drama.) However, my in-laws live much closer than yours! I have a hard time dealing with the pressure of it - I try to tell myself to rise above it - and sometimes I can. Don't bring yourself down to their level, just ignore it etc. I glass or two of wine definitely makes it easier for me!!

Chin up friend!! Good luck.
Click to expand...

Yes, a glass (or more) of wine has helped in the past! Maybe I'll bring my own bottle to 'share' for the Holidays!!:shame:
 
#9
Simple: "That's really not any of your business." or, "I find talking about money boring."

Just give off the impression you're not going to answer his prying questions. Or quickly change the subject and pretend you didn't even hear his question.
 
#10
Oh - comeback line when he asks how much things cost: "Well, you know what they say: if you have to ask?...." (Normally followed by: "you definitely can't afford it." But don't fill that part in for him.)

Happy Thanksgiving, pass the chardonnay!
 
#12
What I do when someone says something rude like that is to just answer "what?" or "excuse me?" in a very shocked and sort of loud tone as if I cannot believe that anyone would ask something that outrageous and if they follow up, my next response is "why would you want to know that?" in a very puzzled tone.

Works wonders for my MIL who has NO tact and serious boundry issues;)

There is nothing that you can do about your BIL being a rude and tacky jerk, but you can control the way that you respond to him and the amount of your personal/financial information that you share
 
#13
Or, if he asks how much something costs, just give him a LOOK and say, "Enough."

I did that once. I brought my first real Louis Vuitton to work and someone I wasn't particularly fond of asked me how much it was.
 
#14
I've had a rough adjustment to my in-laws apparently we have compeltely differnet perspectives on the world.

Could you just spend the majority of time talking to sil and avoiding him like the plague
 
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