You can thank shopmom and Grands Fonds for inspiring this bit of fun.
In the lamplight on deck as the wind blew her Grand Fonds scarf in midnight blue tantalizingly across her bare shoulder, Captain Jacques -- a luxury tanner by day, dashing pirate and smuggler of luxury French leather goods by night -- raked over her ladies riding gear with a his emerald gaze. His eyes rested thoughtfully on the new Hermes riding crop resting on her firm thigh.
"Would you," he asked, lowering his smoky lids, "care to see my special Birkin? Many women find it most impressive..."
His meaning was unmistakeable, and without thought, she gasped, "Thundering Jesus!"