Work Question - stay or go

Baby Boo

Baby Boo

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O.G.
Dec 20, 2005
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#1
Ok this might be long...

i joined the company im working at in July 05, getting decent sal etc.. then i got the job offer in paris ( most of you would remember that) anywayz.. my boss agreed to hold out my job for a few months in casei changed my mind.. 6months later i decided i didnt like paris and came back to my old job a slightly higher pay - since day 1 of being back i havent wanted to be here anymore.. i dont like the job i dont like the atmosphere etc..

i went for a job interview and the guy bascially said ive got the job, now my only issue is how do i break it my boss.. i have to add she is a freind too and is going ot go CRAZY if she knows im leaving, she just offered me another raise.. but i cant stay here anymore.. shes moody and hard to deal with and is not fair on all staff..

i know thi may seem like such an easy descsion but its not.. shes will flip out and plus i dont know if i feel loyaltly towards her cuz of my job staying open whilst in paris...
 
#2
Boo, if I were you I would leave that place. I'm not the type that can work in a place where I am unhappy. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to your employer. I think your boss should be able to separate the personal side of your friendship and the work side of your friendship, and she should accept the fact that you no longer feel happy at your job and that you think it's time for you to move on.
 
#3
i know what you mean.. but shes not liek that.. she wi;ll take it personally and make it personal as well.... god its soo drustraing.. im soo unhappy that i want to resign now and sit at home and wait for a job but cant afford to do that
 
#4
It sounds like you've really already decided to go, it's the resignation/friend aspect that is bothering you.

People sometimes don't behave well when we don't do what they want us to do, and she may not be happy with you. But that doesn't mean you're making a bad choice. It just means you might have to deal with her being unhappy with you for awhile.

The only thing I would be concerned about is how your resume is going to start to look if this is a career -- not just a job. And I'd be prepared to stay wherever I was going for at least a year to minimize that. No job is perfect and I know you know that -- but employers can start to wonder what's going on if you move too often, no matter what you say.
 
#5
It does sound like have decided that you want to go, theres no point in working there when it makes you this unhappy. If your only problem is telling your boss that you want to leave, you are gonna have to eventually face up to the fact that you will have to do, after all you dont wanna be in exactly the position a number of years down the line, wishing that you had chosen to go earlier!!!:heart:
 
#6
I think you already know your answer. Its time to move on!

I havent liked my job since I started here in March. But the money is good and escrow officer positions here in AZ are scarce now since the RE market took a dive. So I'm kinda stuck. Plus I can literally walk to work if I need to, which saves me a ton on gas. Any other job I find will be a freeway commute.

I LOVED my job in CA before I moved and was there for 10 years. My job opportunites here have been ahuge disappointment here.

Good luck! Give your notice and move on to bigger and better!
 
#7
Hey Baby BOo... sounds like u know you're going to leave and just worried about how your boss cum friend is going to take it.

I'm kind of with Jenskar here....

it's hard for me to say just leave cos you're unhappy. given that she held your position for you while you went to paris, i would feel obligated to at least be there for a year at your current job. leaving now might mean that you are burning bridges, and i do not rec anyone to burn bridges... most of my bosses have been crappy and if i came across someone that would do for me what she did for you, that would be a step up.

Remember, no boss or work place is perfect. it's the degree of nonsense u have to deal with. mood swings rank low on the nonsense scale for me. i have had to deal with alot more than mood swings.

if you have decided to leave, i'd tell her and emphasize how much you really appreciate all the things she has done for you and how you want her to know this is not personal. your move is for professional growth and and you hope you can both still continue to be friends.

that is the best you can do. and you have to be prepared for that fact that she will go ape **** on you and never talk to you again.

good luck!!!
 
#8
Since she is your friend is it possible to discuss her office behavior outside of work?

Perhaps over coffee over lunch? You could tell her that she is erratic and that her behavior at work makes her hard to work for. If she is truly your friend then she should at least listen and maybe explain why she is acting this way.

If she is not a good enough friend that you can go out and talk to her, then you shouldn't feel bad about leaving the job.
 
#9
Baby Boo said:
Ok this might be long...

i joined the company im working at in July 05, getting decent sal etc.. then i got the job offer in paris ( most of you would remember that) anywayz.. my boss agreed to hold out my job for a few months in casei changed my mind.. 6months later i decided i didnt like paris and came back to my old job a slightly higher pay - since day 1 of being back i havent wanted to be here anymore.. i dont like the job i dont like the atmosphere etc..

i went for a job interview and the guy bascially said ive got the job, now my only issue is how do i break it my boss.. i have to add she is a freind too and is going ot go CRAZY if she knows im leaving, she just offered me another raise.. but i cant stay here anymore.. shes moody and hard to deal with and is not fair on all staff..

i know thi may seem like such an easy descsion but its not.. shes will flip out and plus i dont know if i feel loyaltly towards her cuz of my job staying open whilst in paris...
Click to expand...

anyone who is a real friend and a boss who cares will support you moving on to something better...or at least they should
 
#10
We're not responsible for others' reactions. You need to do what's best for YOU and it sounds like you've already made your decision. Your friend/boss will get over it in time but that's not your worry. When you give your notice you can offer to help train your replacement if one is hired before you leave, or at least document what you do in detail so it's an easy handoff/transition.
 
#11
Thanks to everyone for your comments..

i know what you guys mean about it looking bad.. i completley understand that, but where i am there is no future.. i hate what im doing at the moment and did before which is why i went to paris, now that a banking job has come up im willing ot take a new direction, i agree that mood swings are something so trviial, but its more than that..

she has soo much favortism in the office she turns eeveryone against the other... she manages to make everyoen feel 2 feet tall and that she is surperior.. and she is not proffesional, its a family run business and shes the chairman daughter so no hopeof her goin anwywhere
 
#12
ok so i did it.. and my boss is not accepting it. she says that i should re think it.. give her at least 6months because she did so much for me and gave me my job back etc etc.. i told he ri just dont want to be in this field anymore there is no future for me.. but shes saying i need to think of her.. shes going to look soooo stupid now in front of the directors etc etc.. but what am i supposed to do? stya here for 6more months and then have no job at the end of it? i dont want to do that either
 
#13
Hi Baby Boo.. I'm glad you took the decision and you talked to her.. however, 6 months?? what about that other job??? the interview?? are you gonna wait for 6 months???

I think you should resign and move on.. the sooner the better.. otherwise staying this your boss for more will only get worse since she knows you are leaving and i dont think she will make your life easy.

goodluck
 
#14
this is probably not what you want to hear but i don't think she's unreasonable to ask you to stay for another 6 months.

she has done alot for you by holding that job and giving you a few pay raises. she probably pushed hard for you all in front of her directors/bosses and she is going to look dumb.

if your current job isn't willing to wait 6 months for you then find another job. after all you could get this job, so you should be able to find another similar one in about 4 months?
 
#15
^ its not as easy as that.. in bahrain its alllll baout who you know.. nad i had to pull strings to getht his job, which is in the banking field ( i have no expereince in this feild) however the guy has faith in me and belives that i can do well, if i pass up this opprunity i will never ever get it again...

the new job will wait one mnth which is standard procedure in bahrain
 
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