Am I an awful heartless person?

J

Jen Loves LV

Member
Aug 19, 2006
2,390
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#1
I just learned my dads father is dying of lung cancer, he has about a week to live. The catch is I am happy.

This guy is an AWFUL person, he molested all of his children, unknown amounts of neighborhood children and all but one of my 3 brothers and myself when I was 9. I'm just relieved he will be gone and no longer a threat to children. He also had a habit of getting married to old ladies with alzheimers and taking their money. :sad:

I'm so conflicted in my feelings, I wouldn't wish death upon anyone (I don't advocate the death penalty either), am I terrible for feeling relieved he's going to be gone?
 
#3
You are not an awful person for feeling that way. This man hurt many members of your family and people around you. I would be worried if you DIDN'T feel the way you do.
 
#4
I have no idea what you and your family have gone through but I think it's totally normal to feel this way at this time in your life. I will say a little prayer for you that one day somehow, someway you could find it in your heart to forgive all the hurt and pain that you are feeling.
 
#5
I don't think your feelings are abnormal in any way. He brought pain to many people apparently without serious consequences. That he won't be able to hurt anyone again is something to be thankful for.
 
#7
your feelings are the result of a very troubled man. anyone would feel the same way, its natural. I understand the conflict though cause he's your dad afterall. forgive yourself for feeling that way - you have a right to. It is his burden that you are going through such turmoil, he needs to own that. You are a victim even though he did not molest you - he may as well have cause you are emotionally abused by the situation. Its okay and its understandable. Forgive yourself, forgive him (he's got to be sick in the heart and the head to do such things). Let go of all those things you cannot control. I pray for nothing but peace for you.:heart:
 
#9
Just to clarify, IT'S NOT MY DAD!! Lol, it's his father ( I will not call him my grandfather).

And thanks for he kind words. I don't think it's possible to forgive a person for this kind of hurt, I don't wish him pain and suffering, but I do believe that this is Karma, that all of his bad ways are coming back to him.
 
#10
Jen Loves LV said:
Just to clarify, IT'S NOT MY DAD!! Lol, it's his father ( I will not call him my grandfather).

And thanks for he kind words. I don't think it's possible to forgive a person for this kind of hurt, I don't wish him pain and suffering, but I do believe that this is Karma, that all of his bad ways are coming back to him.
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ooops. my thoughts remain the same. you are probably right. I also will bet alot of cash that he was also molested as a child. another victim of a victim. too common an occurance.
still big one of these to you:
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#11
I would wonder if you were human if you DIDN'T feel the way you do. I feel similarly, and I don't even know the man. Whether he was abused or not is immaterial. He chose to continue a viscious cycle and to permanently scar children for a lifetime. I am relieved he will be gone, too.
 
#12
Jen Loves LV said:
I just learned my dads father is dying of lung cancer, he has about a week to live. The catch is I am happy.

This guy is an AWFUL person, he molested all of his children, unknown amounts of neighborhood children and all but one of my 3 brothers and myself when I was 9. I'm just relieved he will be gone and no longer a threat to children. He also had a habit of getting married to old ladies with alzheimers and taking their money. :sad:

I'm so conflicted in my feelings, I wouldn't wish death upon anyone (I don't advocate the death penalty either), am I terrible for feeling relieved he's going to be gone?
Click to expand...


Not at all! You aren't an "awful heartless person" -- you are grateful that this man, who molested you and lots of other people, is not going to be able to harm anyone else. You aren't wishing death on him; death is happening regardless of your feelings. And your relief is completely understandable considering all of the misery he has caused. I would probably feel the exact same way and I don't think that I am an awful person. Neither are you! You might want to talk to someone to help you get through this. Hugs!
 
#13
there are good people and bad people in this world. He is a bad person and you can not change that fact HE is the heartless one. So, I do not believe you are a heartless person because you obviously know the difference between right and wrong.
 
#14
I'm just glad that the viscious cycle ended with him, (as far as i know, not close with my aunts and uncles).

HauteMama said:
I would wonder if you were human if you DIDN'T feel the way you do. I feel similarly, and I don't even know the man. Whether he was abused or not is immaterial. He chose to continue a viscious cycle and to permanently scar children for a lifetime. I am relieved he will be gone, too.
Click to expand...
 
#15
Of course you aren't a heartless person! Don't feel bad about yourself. I would feel exactly how you are feeling now. You should be relieved that a man this horrible is leaving this world. :hrmm:
 
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