Am I being unreasonable?

cbetht

cbetht

Member
Jan 16, 2007
879
1
#1
Ok, so long story short, I had cancer in 2005. I have been clear for almost 2 years now. I go for CT scans and check-ups with my oncologist every 6 months.

Well, my 6 month is Friday and my family is going to Florida (I'm staying behind because I am taking summer classes). My bf and I got in a fight tonight because he doesn't want to take me to my 6 month check-up Friday. He has known about my appointment for over a month. Even if my family was going to be here I would still want him there with me. This is a huge deal to me. I get so paranoid when it gets close to check-up time. We have been together 2 years. We met right after I finished my treatments. He told me tonight that I am a burden to him and he doesn't want to take me to my appointment, he wants to go to LA and see his college buddies that he hasn't seen in 3 years. I understand that, but the thing is, he sprung this on me about 2 hours ago. I can't find anyone to go and I don't want to be alone. I'm sure its not, but what IF it's bad news. Of course, I would want him to be there. And I feel as if he should WANT to be there to hear the GOOD news. It'll be my 2 year remission date if everything comes back clear. I'm rethinking this relationship and the person he really is. Am I being the unreasonable one?
 
#2
No, you are not being unreasonable. If I were you I would DITCH him. No man is EVER going to tell me I am a burden on him and ditch me in my time of need!

CONGRATS ON BEING CANCER FREE! That's so fabulous to hear!
 
#3
...I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But desipite what the situation was (and the actual words/mood/tone that was exchanged between you two) I think it was WRONG for him to tell you that you were a burden!!! (I'd be furious!!!)

I hope everything works out for the best though. You know that all of us are rooting for you (and hoping for good news!)
 
#4
Nope..You're definitely not being unreasonable... I know this might not help at all but I would have smacked him if he said I was being a burden to him. Anyway, it's a tough time for you and I don't think it's too much to ask for company at such a time.

Goodluck on your appointment. I'm praying that it'll all be good news for you. HUGS*
 
#6
MAGs said:
Nope..You're definitely not being unreasonable... I know this might not help at all but I would have smacked him if he said I was being a burden to him. Anyway, it's a tough time for you and I don't think it's too much to ask for company at such a time.

Goodluck on your appointment. I'm praying that it'll all be good news for you. HUGS*
Click to expand...

I probably would have if I were in front of him. Unfortunately for me, this took place over the phone. Thank you for the prayers! I'll post when I get my results back.
 
#7
Ok, being called a burden and not even to your face?! Now that is not only rude and disrespectful, it's cowardly too! His college buddies could wait for 24 hours more; if they've waited 3 years one more day wouldn't have done anyone any harm.
I'm sorry this had to happen to you at such a time;forgive me please for ranting. It was not an unreasonable request at all.Good luck, and good news.
 
#9
im glad uve been free from the cancer...!!!!hope you will get another good news from the check up :smile:

about your boyfriend, u're not unreasonable, at all!!Everyone will want the ones she loves to be around in that kind of situation..
I think he is soo childish, may I know how old is he?maybe he thinks you're too clingy? but u're NOT!He SHOULD be there IMHO...
he even said that u're a burden for him!:wtf:!
I just can say that he is so selfish...

anyway, good luck!!!!!
i hope we'll hear good news ;)
 
#10
Wow that's really harsh of him not wanting to be there for you. I hope he has treated you better than this in the last 2 years you've been with him. I think Syntagma is right.... You should ditch him!
 
#12
Congrats to you. I hope your appointment goes well. I think it's completely selfish and downright cruel for him to have told you that you were a burden. You need someone who is supportive of you and loves you no matter what. I'd lose the guy. If he's not going to treat you with respect he's not worth your time.
 
#13
congrats on being cancer free for almost 2 yrs!!

you're not being unreasonable and it's really horrible of him to say you;re a burden.

taking you to the doctor is more important than going to LA one day later, especially since he just suddenly sprung up the LA idea!!!

he might have said it in the heat of the moment but i'd have a talk with him and tell them that's very hurtful and if that's how he feels. if it's how he feels, i think you should think about dumping the guy. he should be happy for you that you are cancer free, not see the doctor visits as a burden.... if he thinks taking you to the doc is a burden, i'm not confident he can last through a long term relationship/marriage....

*HUGS*
 
#14
I think he is being very selfish. The only possible defence for him is that many many males find health issues very difficult to deal with. They often run a mile from it, not because they don't care, but because they find the emotions very tough to experience. But I'm not defending him, just providing a different point of view.

This is important though, and he should put his feelings aside and be there.

Good on you for coming through what you have!!!
 
#15
Syntagma said:
No, you are not being unreasonable. If I were you I would DITCH him. No man is EVER going to tell me I am a burden on him and ditch me in my time of need!

CONGRATS ON BEING CANCER FREE! That's so fabulous to hear!
Click to expand...


ITA! You are not being unreasonable at all. Aw, I'm sorry he is being so rude to you. A burden? WTF? I say he's a burden on you and you let go of that baggage.

But I'm very happy to hear that you are cancer free!:yahoo:
 
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