Differing political views in a relationship

I don't understand the whole "Let's not talk politics" deal. The way I formed and refined my beliefs was through debating and conversing...hearing other people's views. I used to be rather conservative on social issues, but now, I've moved more towards liberal. However, I'm still a bit conservative fiscally. I got that way through political discussion. To me, one of the largest catalysts of change is the sharing of knowledge/opinions.
 
Dh is far more conservative than I am, but tends to be more liberal on social issues. He votes (and admits he votes) more on principle than on reality, so he often votes libertarian. He understands my liberal/socialist views and what motivates me, and I understand his tendency to want gov't to leave people alone entirely. We just disagree a bit as to what we believe should be implemented in real life.

I am a sahm and he knows that my views will likely influence the kids (not that anyone talks politics with toddlers!), and he is OK with that. As long as children experience a home where there is respect between the parents, I think things are fine. People can agree to disagree, as long as they agree on how things will run inside the home (views on discipline, education, etc.).
 
Oh, and I agree with Charles. I don't think not talking about it accomplishes much. People can grow and evolve in their views through discussion, especially when they respect the person with whom they are discussing the issues. It is often helpful to understand why people believe as they do, even if you know you will never change them. Change isn't the point of discussion, but it is often an unintended result!
 
I don't know if I could be with someone that shared drastically different views on politics and religion. It's not that I am not a respectful person or anything, but some issues are very important to me. I'm not going to just NOT talk about things, you know? I won't get too into it, but I couldn't be with someone who voted against some of the things that I am very passionate about.

I'm lucky, though; my bf and I are on the same page when it comes to politics and religion. Not 100%, mind you, but we agree on the same issues, even if he's a tiny bit more moderate than I am.
 
I don't understand the whole "Let's not talk politics" deal. The way I formed and refined my beliefs was through debating and conversing...hearing other people's views. I used to be rather conservative on social issues, but now, I've moved more towards liberal. However, I'm still a bit conservative fiscally. I got that way through political discussion. To me, one of the largest catalysts of change is the sharing of knowledge/opinions.
I love to discuss politics with others, but discussing it with my ex was a nightmare. We never really fought about anything, but when we started discussing politics, we'd start yelling at each other. Of course I avoided it.
 
No, I could not be with someone with totally differing political views, as to me it's about values and what we believe in, and we need to share those same values to build a life together.
 
I don't understand the whole "Let's not talk politics" deal. The way I formed and refined my beliefs was through debating and conversing...hearing other people's views. I used to be rather conservative on social issues, but now, I've moved more towards liberal. However, I'm still a bit conservative fiscally. I got that way through political discussion. To me, one of the largest catalysts of change is the sharing of knowledge/opinions.

^ ITA. it is a major part in my family to share opinions - and yes they can vary greatly. but that is part of life.

as for hubby and I, we are from different cultures, brought up in different countries with different histories. sure we can have vastly differing political views - we can discuss, and even argue sometimes. it is important IMO bec through discussions we have come a bit closer in our views and ideas.

I think exchange with people that have different ideas and views is good bec it might give you a different take on things.
 
Liberté;2859553 said:
To some politics may not mean much, to others, even though they think the most efficient means are different, the goals are the same and that's the most important thing. ;)
I strongly disagree. I find it amazing how some people believe that one's politics are compartmentalized from the rest of who they are. That's not the case. One's political philosophy is fundamental to who he is. It affects how that person views the relationship between himself and society, how he believes social institutions should be arranged, how he views the relationships among families.

I've had relationships with men of varied political leanings. But I could never date a man that was politically apathetic. The failure to engage himself in a meaningful way with the workings of society shows him to be an empty human being.
 
DH and I hold very similar views; he comes from an extremely conservative background, so I'm sure they think I corrupted him lol. We both love talking politics despite how frustrating government IRL can be.

Our younger son is even more liberal than we are and he married a woman whose mother was very high up in a GOP administration (not the current one). He said they generally avoided some topics but discussed others; over time she has become more moderate in her views.
 
I think it would depend on how each of you define "politics," and whether there is any overlap between what you consider "politics" and what are in fact deeply held beliefs and core values, moral and ethical principles, etc.

For instance, someone for whom politics is more of a family tradition - "Our family has always voted for the Silly Party" or someone who may consider themselves Buffoons because the Buffoons made a couple of gestures they liked forty years ago, but who actually deplores everything the Buffoons have done since, and recognizes that there is not any substantial difference between the Buffoons and the Sillies, will probably be able to successfully enjoy friendships, and even a relationship, with someone else who claims a different affliliation technically, but who shares the same core values you do.

But for someone who views politics in a different way, especially if there is a faith-based connection, or feelings of that level of intensity for a political group, or who looks to a political group to guide those core values - well, you know what?

Politics doesn't really have anything to do with it and neither does religion, in the sense of an affiliation/tradition/social engine.

Most of us tend to form closer relationships, and would certainly prefer to spend our lives with, someone who is on the same page with us on those core values, those moral absolutes, whatever you want to call them, whether we call ourselves Sillies or Buffoons, or whether we worship in a big building with lots of people or all by ourselves in the forest!

So if you are trying to decide about a young man, I would suggest just taking the politics out of it completely, and focus on learning what his truest and most deeply held values and beliefs are, because those are what he will live by, and your own are what you live by! :smile:
 
Shimma, I think you are confusing party affiliation with a real political philosophy, such as paleo-conservatism, for example. For many party affiliation has to do with family, region etc., (and to boot, the two major parties do not differ very significantly) but one's own political philosophy betrays how they fundamentally view the world. This is exemplified in the relationship between neo- liberalism and conflict theory and libertarianism and functionalist theory. It affects too much.