Depressed about my new puppy

paelaf

paelaf

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Dec 31, 2006
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#1
Hi everyone,

Has anyone here gone through a period of depression after getting a puppy? I've had my puppy for a few weeks now and I have sort of this hopeless feeling and have been breaking down crying at least a few times a day. I'm scared I completely messed up. Every aspect of my life is turned upside down over this little guy. I've read a lot and have been practicing training with him and he's starting puppy class this weekend. Does it get better? How long :sad:

Thanks for your input.
 
#2
OH my, I have never heard of such a thing!? I fell in LOVE with my girls the minute I laid eyes on them. They are hard work, they are a pain in the ass at times, and they also bring me more pleasure than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Having a pet is a commitment for sure. Maybe you should find a home for it? I think if you are going to have a pet they deserve the very best from the owner. Just my opinion. Im not being rude at all, so please do not think that. there is no way to know how much work is involved until you actually have a pet. I hope it gets better for you.
 
#3
Oh no, is the puppy misbehaving? Do you feel stressed over having to spend so much time with him? What is bothering you about the puppy?
 
#4
Perhaps you are overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for your puppy? It is a huge responsibility, maybe one you were not expecting. It only took my dog 1 week to become housebroken if that is what is bothering you. But of course all dogs learn at their own pace. If it becomes too much of a burden, I agree with Sunshine and think you should find a new home for the pup.
 
#5
I think it's the fact that he barks and cries whenever I leave him alone that puts the most stress on me, an yes, having to spend the majority of my time with him. I'm trying to train him not to do this, by ignoring him and then praising him when he's quiet, so needless to say, the barking can go on for quite a while sometimes. This morning he went non-stop from 5:45 to 7:30 (after he went out). It's hard to get enough sleep and watching him all day is pretty taxing. I'm used to a pretty quiet home and it's a huge change and adjustment. I have two cats also, who I adore, but a puppy is obviously much more work and responsibility. And when I go my cats years ago it was an instant love and connection. I don't really have that yet with this guy. I guess it isn't good news that no one has experienced this :sad: I certainly wasn't expecting to. Thanks for the feedback though.
 
#6
I felt overwhelmed when I got my first kitten. He was so rambunctious and it took me forever to train him to use the cat door. But once that was out of the way, I had so much fun with him.
 
#7
Hmm, I would bet that the barking would let up soon, though I'm not sure of your puppy's breed, some breeds are obviously yappier and louder than others. Maybe try going out with your puppy in the morning while it does its business and then bringing it back in with you and letting it chill while you get more sleep. I'm also thinking that your puppy might have too much pent up energy, which causes it to bark nonstop. Do you play energy intensive games with it, like fetch? Maybe teach it to fetch and then every time it goes out play fetch with it for 15-20 min, just to get the energy out. Long walks can help too, you can even jog if you want to wear it out more quickly. Really try to wear it out every day for a week and see if it will sleep more and generally be more sedate.
 
#8
I wouldn't worry too much about not feeling a bond immediately, I mean, it's hard to love a new little stranger that's keeping you up all night. It's not your baby, you didn't go through 22 hours of labor to have it, it may take a little time to like it :smile:
 
#9
paelaf said:
I think it's the fact that he barks and cries whenever I leave him alone that puts the most stress on me, an yes, having to spend the majority of my time with him. I'm trying to train him not to do this, by ignoring him and then praising him when he's quiet, so needless to say, the barking can go on for quite a while sometimes. This morning he went non-stop from 5:45 to 7:30 (after he went out). It's hard to get enough sleep and watching him all day is pretty taxing. I'm used to a pretty quiet home and it's a huge change and adjustment. I have two cats also, who I adore, but a puppy is obviously much more work and responsibility. And when I go my cats years ago it was an instant love and connection. I don't really have that yet with this guy. I guess it isn't good news that no one has experienced this :sad: I certainly wasn't expecting to. Thanks for the feedback though.
Click to expand...

I am sure that there are others out there who have felt this same way.

My advice to you (from personal experience):

1-when I only had my Female Chihuahua, I would FREAK OUT whenever I had to leave her alone. She would cry and I would get so upset I seriously couldn't focus on school, etc...she was always on the back of my mind:crybaby: SOOOOO my SO and I bought another Chihuahua to keep her company! It was the best thing I have ever done for her!! Now when I leave them alone, neither one of them cries because they have a litte friend to hang out with...problem solved!:nuts: :yahoo:

2-I feel that the BEST training style besides positive reinforcement is a squirt bottle filled with lukewarm water. This way, the animal does not have to be spanked or yelled at. It works so well! When you catch your pup going on the carpet, just squirt your pup with the water (NOT on the face...try the back area). They learn so quickly!:yes:

Good luck!!!! Just remember that we are all here for you to answer any questions!

PS--we would LOVE to see pics of your new pup!:heart:
 
#10
Here he is...undeniably precious! And part of the reason I feel so guilty I'm not enjoying him that much most of the time. He's a pom and I know they are known for yapping, but he's actually pretty quiet other than his separation issues. And apparently both his mother and father are quiet. I don't know...all is not hopeless. I'm just having a particularly bad day...or week ;) I feel like if we could get his separation issues solved my mind could rest a lot easier. BTW I really appreciate the comments! It really helps to hear other's experiences.
 

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#11
Yes, puppy school will help enormously.

Excessive barking is something that can be trained out.

I once fostered a young pug I thought I would adopt. I had the dog for several months. But we never bonded. Even my original pug never to seemed to bond with this younger dog. I housebroke the foster pug and saved its eye from a bad infection. Even that didn't make me feel close to her.

I finally decided that the dog and I would never bond. So I gave her back to Pug Rescue. Someone else adopted her right away. He adores her. I saw them several months later at a Pug Rescue event and she couldn't have been happier with her new Papa. She was glad to see me and my pug but she was very happy to be Daddy's Girl.

I never regretted letting go of the foster dog. My pug never even seemed to miss her! It was like she said to me "good thing that long babysitting job is over. Now let's go get some sleep."

I suggest you give puppy training a good try first to see if the barking is what is keeping you from bonding. Sometimes the bonding just doesn't happen. If that is your case, don't feel bad about it.

Good luck!
 
#12
I know EXACTLY what you are going through. After we adopted Ripley, the first two weeks were awful. She was always on my heels, nipping at my ankles, chewing up everything in sight, whining, mouthing. One night I told my husband that I just didn't love her. I already had signed her up for training, so I emailed the trainer and asked her for a one-on-one session as soon as possible. I took Ripley there, and was amazed at what a good dog she could be, and she has been steadily improving over the last several months. I now love her to death, and we got her a little sister. The play together, and they both drive me crazy sometimes, but I wouldn't give them up now.

It will get better. :yes:
 
#14
Your pup is very cute. I must admit, I really do not have advice as I did the exact opposite. When I got my first puppy, it was 6 mos before DH and I were married, so I was over all of the time-to make sure the puppy knew me. For my 2nd and 3rd, the day we got them- I stayed home from work the entire week and DH stayed home the week after. We wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. I even slept on the kitchen floor with them because I did not want to hear her cry!

I would even call and leave VM on my machine so the puppies could hear our voices. Granted, they drove me crazy at times with the crying-but after the first 3 wks with us...it was much better!
 
#15
barking is pretty frusterating, but make sure you don't give into those urges to let him/her out, it'll make it 10x worse. don't say anything to it when its in the crate. where is the crate? some dogs like a little music, so maybe a small radio on a low volume might help. how long have you had the pup? is the puppy getting plenty of exercise, maybe it has too much energy? do you have toys in the crate, more specifically bones for it to chew on? kongs are great to stuff with a bit of a treat (cheese, peanut butter, etc) to keep a pup occupied. hopefully it will get better!
 
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