Gosh...I need some help guys & gals. I am absolutely at my wit's end culminated by a yucky fight between DH & I just now.
Some background:
We moved across the country 2 years ago for my school. Prior to moving DH & I spent all our time together....we didn't really socialize with other couples....mostly just family.
Then we move....hubby makes a friend. This is great I initially thought because I am so busy on the evenings and weekends with school stuff, I figured the friend would keep hubby busy.
Well two years later....I despise this friend. He comes over to our house at least 4 times a week, and stays from 5 PM on. He conveniently arrives at 5 without eating and we feed him all these days. He walks into our house without knocking on the door. He doesn't clean up after himself. He NEVER brings anything over EVER (i.e. he drinks and eats all of our food; often without asking. He NEVER buys when we go out to dinner together. His wife is an alcoholic who has embarrassed me countless times when we have gone out as couples. In addition, on Friday night (my only night I don't have to do school stuff) I always ask hubby if he wants to do something but this *friend* is always over. So even if we do go out...this friend is always with us.
Now some background on hubby: He is pretty lazy and doesn't like to go over to his friend's house, so he doesn't care about the food, drinks, etc. that his friend is always eating here because he figures since he won't go over there it's the least we can do.
I disagree. I think common courtesy is to at least every once in a while bring *something* over. Hey....pick up your own dinner on your drive over instead of eating all my food (and yes, he eats & drinks what are some of my favorite foods that I buy for myself).
In addition, hubby is one of those people who is always whipping out the money to pay....much to my chagrin. I am trying to start a concrete savings plan and am always trying to stash mad money, but when we are constantly paying for everything for this guy...the account never goes up.
I say that *we* come first.....we need to eat before this guy needs to eat. Our family comes first.
So big blow out today: I want to sell an ATV. Hubby & I used to ATV with really close friends where we used to live. Now we don't live there and I have absolutely no inyterest in it (never really did, but I did it to make hubby happy). Now I want to sell it because it's just sitting there. I can use that money for something better.
Hubby does not want to sell it...guess why? So his *friend* has something to ride when they go out.
What do I say? His cheap friend needs to go buy his own toys.
Am I wrong? What do I do? Hubby says he feels really distant from me lately. I agree and I believe the primary reason is this friend.
Some background:
We moved across the country 2 years ago for my school. Prior to moving DH & I spent all our time together....we didn't really socialize with other couples....mostly just family.
Then we move....hubby makes a friend. This is great I initially thought because I am so busy on the evenings and weekends with school stuff, I figured the friend would keep hubby busy.
Well two years later....I despise this friend. He comes over to our house at least 4 times a week, and stays from 5 PM on. He conveniently arrives at 5 without eating and we feed him all these days. He walks into our house without knocking on the door. He doesn't clean up after himself. He NEVER brings anything over EVER (i.e. he drinks and eats all of our food; often without asking. He NEVER buys when we go out to dinner together. His wife is an alcoholic who has embarrassed me countless times when we have gone out as couples. In addition, on Friday night (my only night I don't have to do school stuff) I always ask hubby if he wants to do something but this *friend* is always over. So even if we do go out...this friend is always with us.
Now some background on hubby: He is pretty lazy and doesn't like to go over to his friend's house, so he doesn't care about the food, drinks, etc. that his friend is always eating here because he figures since he won't go over there it's the least we can do.
I disagree. I think common courtesy is to at least every once in a while bring *something* over. Hey....pick up your own dinner on your drive over instead of eating all my food (and yes, he eats & drinks what are some of my favorite foods that I buy for myself).
In addition, hubby is one of those people who is always whipping out the money to pay....much to my chagrin. I am trying to start a concrete savings plan and am always trying to stash mad money, but when we are constantly paying for everything for this guy...the account never goes up.
I say that *we* come first.....we need to eat before this guy needs to eat. Our family comes first.
So big blow out today: I want to sell an ATV. Hubby & I used to ATV with really close friends where we used to live. Now we don't live there and I have absolutely no inyterest in it (never really did, but I did it to make hubby happy). Now I want to sell it because it's just sitting there. I can use that money for something better.
Hubby does not want to sell it...guess why? So his *friend* has something to ride when they go out.
What do I say? His cheap friend needs to go buy his own toys.
Am I wrong? What do I do? Hubby says he feels really distant from me lately. I agree and I believe the primary reason is this friend.