Our Very Own Purse Secret: Part II

[simmmchen]

Can't say I agree with this. Secret poster, I find it a bit offensive that you write as if this was a law or as if you KNEW everyone agrees with you, which obviously isn't true.

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret- w/permission to post from a mod. it's disgusting to talk about your period to/in front of people you do not know... seriously... it makes me and several other people want to puke.... please realize this. if you find this post too offensive to post, then perhaps tPF has to be monitored more intensely because if this is not appropriate for this thread, it is certainly not appropriate in other threads. sincerely, grossed out long time reader

[simmmchen]

Secret poster, I have read this before in a community about menstrual cups http://menstrualcups.org/

The poster said she was using menstrual cups throughout her cycle for your exact issue. Maybe head over there and take a look. Our bodies are all different and I don't think you'll be able to change this. As you say you don't want to wear liners all the time, maybe you'd be more comfortable with a cup, as it doesn't promote yeast infections because it doesn't trap heat and moisture the way liners do.

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret this is so embarrassing to talk about, but it has to go somewhere. my panties are always damp. it isn't abnmormal discharge and i've been to the gyno and have no infection of any sort. it really isn't even discharge, as the consistency is non-existent. it looks like you dripped a few drops of water on the crotch of my panties. i'm just always slightly damp down there. it's kind of annoying. even panties with a cotton gusset can't control the moisture. i bathe every day, and usually by the next morning, if i sleep with panties on, they're wet. it's really gross because i guess the acids or whatever in the discharge will discolor some of my nice panties, which pisses me off. does anyone else deal with this? i don't want to wear a pantyliner 24/7!

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret- w/permission to post from a mod. it's disgusting to talk about your period to/in front of people you do not know... seriously... it makes me and several other people want to puke.... please realize this. if you find this post too offensive to post, then perhaps tPF has to be monitored more intensely because if this is not appropriate for this thread, it is certainly not appropriate in other threads. sincerely, grossed out long time reader

The fact that you are posting it a secret without having courage to say your opinion out loud here speaks volumes.

[Sophie-Rose]

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret- w/permission to post from a mod. it's disgusting to talk about your period to/in front of people you do not know... seriously... it makes me and several other people want to puke.... please realize this. if you find this post too offensive to post, then perhaps tPF has to be monitored more intensely because if this is not appropriate for this thread, it is certainly not appropriate in other threads. sincerely, grossed out long time reader

Maybe you should stop reading threads in the Health section?

[Hally]

It's just science, really. Women have periods.....I'm surprised this would gross anybody out. It's no different than somebody saying they had nosebleeds, imo.

[MissV]

Originally Posted by Hally

It's just science, really. Women have periods.....I'm surprised this would gross anybody out. It's no different than somebody saying they had nosebleeds, imo.

ITA!!

maybe I've become "numb" to it since I am in the health care sector. But its no big deal...

[LeaD]

any new secrets????

[frick&frack]

Originally Posted by twinkle.tink

Really? Get over yourself! One's period is a normal thing and as it turns out pretty important to getting pregnant, which we have a whole sub-forum for. People talk about all kinds of things that might seem inappropriate to others, we don't need to need oversensitive whiners asking for censorship, if you don't like it, don't read it.

I couldn't agree more. I think this statement applies to many, many, many things on this forum. instead of complaining or pretending that you're the morality police or "miss manners," just stay out of that thread. no one is forcing you to read it. we should be free to post our thoughts/feelings within reason (without attacking someone or lying about things) on this forum.

my mother and grandmother taught me a very valuable concept...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

for the life of me I will never understand why someone posts in a thread solely for the purpose of being negative without being constructive.

[Designer_Love]

Originally Posted by frick&frack

I couldn't agree more. I think this statement applies to many, many, many things on this forum. instead of complaining or pretending that you're the morality police or "miss manners," just stay out of that thread. no one is forcing you to read it. we should be free to post our thoughts/feelings within reason (without attacking someone or lying about things) on this forum. my mother and grandmother taught me a very valuable concept...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. for the life of me I will never understand why someone posts in a thread solely for the purpose of being negative without being constructive.

well people post neg sometimes because that's just how they feel, not everyone is going to like everything all the time. If you post and want people to reply or and give opinions that means you also have to accept that sometimes people wont like it, and if it's ok to say you like it than it's just as ok to say that you don't...if you don't want people saying they don't like it than my guess is you should either put the phrase "only good comments please" or simply don't post if you can't handle that people may not like it. I'm actually proud that other people are honest enough on here to say how they really feel sometimes. Hey I can't say nothing I'm a big believer in being honest and not lying about if I like it or think it's just to make everyone else happy. Sometimes I leave neg feedback sometimes I leave positive feedback...I give my honest opinion, or tell how I would handle things and people can either like it or not...that's just me. So whoever wrote that hey glad to see it, at least he / she isn't afraid to say how they REALLY think....wish more people was like that around here.

[frick&frack]

^I see your point. I was specifically talking about people who are negative for the sake of being negative...not giving an opposing viewpoint as part of a constructive dialogue. negative things can be stated from the motivation to edify rather than to criticize. I didn't say that everyone should agree with everyone.

the point of my post was to say that if that secret poster didn't like what they were reading in a thread, they should not read it rather than expecting others to edit themselves or refrain from discussing a subject that the secret poster didn't care to read about. I agree with your preference for honesty on this forum. but there are definitely people on this forum who feel that they have no where else to go for opinions, or they prefer receiving anonymous feedback, even if the topic is concerning bodily functions...ESPECIALLY on a forum that largely caters to women.

I think you completely misunderstood what I was saying.

[calneva]

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret this is so embarrassing to talk about, but it has to go somewhere. my panties are always damp. it isn't abnmormal discharge and i've been to the gyno and have no infection of any sort. it really isn't even discharge, as the consistency is non-existent. it looks like you dripped a few drops of water on the crotch of my panties. i'm just always slightly damp down there. it's kind of annoying. even panties with a cotton gusset can't control the moisture. i bathe every day, and usually by the next morning, if i sleep with panties on, they're wet. it's really gross because i guess the acids or whatever in the discharge will discolor some of my nice panties, which pisses me off. does anyone else deal with this? i don't want to wear a pantyliner 24/7!

I deal with this. I hate it. I always have to have a panty liner.
The only thing I can recommend is using scotch guard on nice panties.
I use a coat of scotch guard on new panties, on the crotch area. It prevents any stains. I don't know why they love to use white cotton on that area.

[ilovepinkhearts]

to the person that thinks talking about periods is disgusting: we are all human, we have "functions" that aren't always pretty and pleasant...it's life. if you are disgusted by someone talking about a period, then i hope for your sake you never have children [whether you are male or female]. being a mother i have had to catch vomit in my bare hand, i have gotten pooped and peed on. and then we will have to have all the 'growing up' talks with them, if you cant' read about it, how in the world are you going to educate a child?? if there is something that you don't want to read or think about then don't go into that thread, it's that simple. most people aren't embarrassed about a normal bodily function, since you are and you had to let us all know about it [secretively] then please stay away from those threads, and we all will be happy :)

[candypants1100]

secret
I was a freshman in high school when I was assaulted in a bathroom by a senior during a party. Everyone in school found out and they called me names. They wrote "slut" and "whore" on my locker, slipped STD pamplets in my desk, my so-called friends turned against me, and girls beat me up. After enduring the constant attacks at school, I tried to commit suicide. My dad found me before it was too late, and I was sent to a recovery center for therapy. After I was allowed to go home, I continued outpatient therapy and transferred back to my old school (it was a very strict religious private school).

But, I couldn't get past what happened to me, and I acted out. When I got "talked to" by the headmaster's wife about why I was acting the way I was, I told her what had happened to me. She told me it was my fault and that she didn't believe me when I told her that I hadn't done anything because she "knew me." To this day I still hate her.

Ten years later, I still hate those people that tormented me. I can't think about that time in my life without crying and wishing I could make every single one of those animals suffer the way they made me suffer. I want to get past this, I don't want to be angry and bitter anymore, but I don't know how. Therapy and medication hasn't helped. Sometimes I feel broken and haunted by the knowledge that I will forever be defined by the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

[candypants1100]

^i am SO sorry that happened to you. high school is SUCH a brutal time- kids' hormones are changing, their attitudes are changing, they struggle to find a way to fit in....unfortunately, it sometimes brings people together to collectively put down one person. as a teacher, i dealt with this a lot (i'm not teaching this year, that's why i say 'dealt', not 'deal'). these kids had NO right to do this to you- you didn't deserve it, and (i'm sure you've heard this before) they were most likely so insecure with themselves that they had to put all their energy toward you. i'm so, so sorry that happened to you.

the good news is that it is in the past and it is over. the bad news is that it seems you are still struggling with it. you say that counseling didn't help....did you just try one counselor or did you try multiple? for me, personally, i had to 'shop around' with therapists until i found one that meshed well with me. a good therapist is one you can really talk to, and not feel ashamed or judged. it takes a while to create a good relationship with a therapist, so it definitely isn't an overnight thing at all. maybe you could try to find another therapist? the other option i would suggest is going to a group counseling...maybe if you were able to share and connect with other people who experienced something similar, you will make some leeway into sorting out your emotions. i wish you the absolute best of luck, and i thank you for sharing this with us.
<3 hugs!

[frick&frack]

Originally Posted by candypants1100

secret I was a freshman in high school when I was assaulted in a bathroom by a senior during a party. Everyone in school found out and they called me names. They wrote "slut" and "whore" on my locker, slipped STD pamplets in my desk, my so-called friends turned against me, and girls beat me up. After enduring the constant attacks at school, I tried to commit suicide. My dad found me before it was too late, and I was sent to a recovery center for therapy. After I was allowed to go home, I continued outpatient therapy and transferred back to my old school (it was a very strict religious private school). But, I couldn't get past what happened to me, and I acted out. When I got "talked to" by the headmaster's wife about why I was acting the way I was, I told her what had happened to me. She told me it was my fault and that she didn't believe me when I told her that I hadn't done anything because she "knew me." To this day I still hate her. Ten years later, I still hate those people that tormented me. I can't think about that time in my life without crying and wishing I could make every single one of those animals suffer the way they made me suffer. I want to get past this, I don't want to be angry and bitter anymore, but I don't know how. Therapy and medication hasn't helped. Sometimes I feel broken and haunted by the knowledge that I will forever be defined by the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

you will NOT be defined by the worst thing that's ever happened to you. you will not!!! you will be defined by the person you are.

I agree with candypants, HS can be a terribly cruel time. there is absolutely no excuse for what happened to you...either the attack or the subsequent abuse. I wish I could heal your heart & mind...or turn back time & prevent these awful things from happening to you.

please know that HS is that time...not the rest of your life. chances are you will rarely if ever see any of those people again. I'm not making light of your circumstances; I will never be able to fully understand what you're going through. but it seems like you have a very loving & supportive family behind you. it is my prayer that you will continue to heal as time goes by, & somehow you will be able to make these wounds a part of what makes you wonderful.

I do have some experience with turning awful gaping wounds into something that has turned me into the woman that I want to be. I'm still a work in progress, but I can honestly say that I am grateful for my painful past because it's part of the foundation of who I am now.

I also want to tell you that it wasn't your fault. I am sick at heart that the headmaster's wife said those things to you. I'm sure you have heard this before, but rape is NOT about sex...it's about power. so you did NOTHING to bring that on yourself. I could just cry, I'm so heartbroken for you.

I don't blame you for being so angry still...it's sheer horror what happened to you. I think it's very healthy to be honest with your feelings...feel what you feel. write about it. it may help you since you can't really punish those who hurt you.

I'm proud of you for working so hard to be healed. if you hear nothing else that I say, please hear this... I used to feel exactly the same way you do, that my life would be defined by the awful things. I'm hear to tell you that it isn't, & yours won't either. I'm here for you if you need to talk.