Our Very Own Purse Secret: Part II

[merika]

Secret No comment on feedback.
I am not sure this is a 'secret'...but I am always lurking the Purse forum, and quite frankly, I think some posts are just downright phony.
I mean, for example, in the Pics of your SO thread, no one EVER said 'Eeeeewww, what an ugly mug!'
It's always 'Awww, what a cute couple'(when they obviously are NOT)
It sort of nauseates me a bit. I mean, come on, some of those people are just really unattractive. Mom said, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anyting at all!....stop being fake.

Oh, and those 'regular' members that post in EVERY thread, and are self-proclaimed experts on all topics under the sun, make me want to barf with their holier-than-thou comments. It's like a high school clique around here.

Ok, feel better :)

tPF has members from all over the world, and I think that the ideal of 'beauty' differs a lot depending on where you come from. Some people may try really hard to find something nice to say, and if they're being honest about what they think is nice - e.g. saying "You have a beautiful smile" does not equal to saying "You look like a supermodel" that's great.

This might be a holier than thou comment, of course , but there's that great thing called the Ignore function. Saves me a lot of annoyance when some members make me want to barf.

Originally Posted by onegirlcreative

I have to say that I agree with the OP's "secret" 100%. I also feel the same way, especially when a mod posts (no offense to any particular mods, of course). You're not alone. I feel like whenever a mod posts—regardless of how elitist it may seem—everybody is always like "good post....xxxx" when what they're saying might be completely ignorant and self-absorbed. But I think that people are afraid to disagree with these mods because they're afraid of getting banned. I honestly hope that wouldn't be the case because any forum where someone would get banned for disagreeing with a mod, is not a forum I would want to particularly belong to. The other forums I belong to are not like that at all, in fact, people are not afraid to tell the mod(s) if they're disappointed with something or whatever. I feel like you have to walk on eggshells with certain mods (not all, of course) when posting. Just wanted the OP to know that you're not alone. I feel the exact same way.

I've never sucked up to anyone on here. Never needed to. What's the point? So that someone living somewhere who has her username here in yellow or pink letters will like me...why on earth would I want someone who doesn't even know me personally to like me?

If anyone reads my old posts they'd see that I've disagreed with mods more often than I've praised them, and disagreed strongly too. My attitude about the whole thing: I'd rather be banned saying what I believe - to a mod or anyone else - rather than suck up or ignore if I see something that bugs me. I don't call people names and I don't attack heedlessly or for drama...those are the only guidelines I follow in posting replies. If I have a problem with one person, be it a member or a moderator I use PMs because there's no point cluttering up threads with a disagreement between me and one other person. When posting replies I care more about what the person asking for an opinion thinks and prefer to give them my honest thoughts rather than worrying about what a random moderator thinks about me.

ETA: And I come here and read and post because I like it. There have been times when I haven't liked what I read or thought some attitudes not to my taste and stayed away for a while...because ultimately it's my own choice to be aggravated or happy when I'm reading something.

[BagLadie]

Usually when I read something I don't like or completely disagree about - I either say something as tactfully as I can or I say nothing. I am not here for controversy....there is too much of that in life itself. I do hold a certain amount of respect though for the mods - they are what keeps this place running smoothly. I don't go into any other forums but I have heard they can get pretty ugly and hurtful. I am so glad this place isn't one of them.

[onegirlcreative]

Originally Posted by twinkle.tink

If the site and comments make you want to barf, why waste your time here? First, I want to make sure you realize...it's not the 'OP's' secret...Candy (the OP) is simply posting the secret for some one who e-mailed her. Second, if you feel you need to walk on eggshells around mods, that is your problem, not theirs. I have disagreed with the mods plenty of times (sometimes in public, sometimes in private) and I am still here. Again, I will echo what I said before...if you're not happy here, why waste your time? ...There is a reason we have the number of members and posts we do. Do I agree with everything? Of course not...I love my DH and his really my best friend, yet I still disagree with him.

Of course I realize it's not Candy's post. When I said the OP, I meant the person that wrote the original secret, not the person posting them on tPF.

Please.....

I never said I wasn't happy here, just making an observation about how I feel with certain mods making posts. I think I'm entitled to my opinion regarding this issue and was making a statement to let the OP (of the secret) know that they were not alone.

Your comment right there about it being "my problem, and not theirs" just confirms what the person who wrote the secret is saying. Your comment was pretty obnoxious and uncalled for, IMO.

[onegirlcreative]

Originally Posted by candypants1100

Secret Dear girls who love Edward Cullen/Jacob Black and wish that they were Bella, You. Are. Stupid. You are silently condoning psychological and physical abuse. You have set yourself up to fall prey to unhealthy, controlling relationships. The world would have been better off without Meyer's deranged fantasy.

Who are Edward Cullen and Jacob Black? I'm lost here....

[Voodoo]

I have a secret but I'll tell it publicly:

My uncle (who is my father's identical twin) lives with us. He's never had children or a successful marriage so we are his family. As he advances in age I was worried about him living alone in Florida which is where he lived for years. My Hub and I convinced him to move here a little over a year ago. We have had a wonderful time. He has a part-time job, pays rent, etc...and all of us have, frankly, really melded into a tight family unit. I have found having a mutli-generational household is both rewarding and instilling a delightful sense of family in my DD.

But my father's wife (they live in the area) complains constantly about my uncle being a 'bother' to us and that he needs his 'own family'. She says these things like he can just go buy people to take care of him as he gets older. She says all these things behind my dad's back where he can't hear her say them to me.

Frankly, I want to smack the tar out of her. What's a 'bother' is her trashy kids and their drug problems and 3-4 kids each out of wedlock or with people who are now in jail.

I keep my mouth shut for my dad's sake because I know they love each other but it is driving me mad. But I swear I wish she and her family would just disappear.

Comments welcome....sometimes I think I'm probably just a really big b*tch for thinking this about my step-mom....other times I feel completely justified in feeling this way.

[onegirlcreative]

Originally Posted by merika

Secret No comment on feedback. I am not sure this is a 'secret'...but I am always lurking the Purse forum, and quite frankly, I think some posts are just downright phony. I mean, for example, in the Pics of your SO thread, no one EVER said 'Eeeeewww, what an ugly mug!' It's always 'Awww, what a cute couple'(when they obviously are NOT) It sort of nauseates me a bit. I mean, come on, some of those people are just really unattractive. Mom said, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anyting at all!....stop being fake. Oh, and those 'regular' members that post in EVERY thread, and are self-proclaimed experts on all topics under the sun, make me want to barf with their holier-than-thou comments. It's like a high school clique around here. Ok, feel better :) tPF has members from all over the world, and I think that the ideal of 'beauty' differs a lot depending on where you come from. Some people may try really hard to find something nice to say, and if they're being honest about what they think is nice - e.g. saying "You have a beautiful smile" does not equal to saying "You look like a supermodel" that's great. This might be a holier than thou comment, of course , but there's that great thing called the Ignore function. Saves me a lot of annoyance when some members make me want to barf. I've never sucked up to anyone on here. Never needed to. What's the point? So that someone living somewhere who has her username here in yellow or pink letters will like me...why on earth would I want someone who doesn't even know me personally to like me? If anyone reads my old posts they'd see that I've disagreed with mods more often than I've praised them, and disagreed strongly too. My attitude about the whole thing: I'd rather be banned saying what I believe - to a mod or anyone else - rather than suck up or ignore if I see something that bugs me. I don't call people names and I don't attack heedlessly or for drama...those are the only guidelines I follow in posting replies. If I have a problem with one person, be it a member or a moderator I use PMs because there's no point cluttering up threads with a disagreement between me and one other person. When posting replies I care more about what the person asking for an opinion thinks and prefer to give them my honest thoughts rather than worrying about what a random moderator thinks about me. ETA: And I come here and read and post because I like it. There have been times when I haven't liked what I read or thought some attitudes not to my taste and stayed away for a while...because ultimately it's my own choice to be aggravated or happy when I'm reading something.

Awesome. I think that's great. Good for you for doing what you believe in, regardless of what the consequences (if any) may be.

[onegirlcreative]

Originally Posted by BagLadie

Usually when I read something I don't like or completely disagree about - I either say something as tactfully as I can or I say nothing. I am not here for controversy....there is too much of that in life itself. I do hold a certain amount of respect though for the mods - they are what keeps this place running smoothly. I don't go into any other forums but I have heard they can get pretty ugly and hurtful. I am so glad this place isn't one of them.

Oh definitely. I agree with you, however, I never said that I didn't hold respect for the mods. On the contrary, I completely do especially for Vlad and Megs, because they're the ones that got tPF started, and I love it here!

What I said and meant was there are a few mods (not all) that I have encountered that I am not particularly fond of by their posts, since I don't know them IRL. They come off as being elitist and insensitive, and regardless of what they post, people will always commend them for their opinions, etc. when it's obvious that their opinions are completely uncalled for and callous JUST because their names are in red, pink or yellow (or whatever).

That's all. I honestly didn't want this to turn into a bash back and forth. I was simply letting that OP of the secret know that I agreed with her and she wasn't alone, as I"m sure other people will agree with me, but may not post, as well.

Please, let's get back to the secrets as we're clearly getting off topic which is NOT the point of this thread.

[candypants1100]

to all people sending secrets:

I will not post anything that is not a secret. That is what this thread is for. If you have an issue with someone, you can PM them, but this is not the space for it.

Thanks

[candypants1100]

secret
omg, i love this thread!! my secret is that i love animals more than people. for real. i always worry more about the welfare of the animals in natural disasters, or accidents, or whatever. and if i saw a house on fire, i'd run in to save an animal first, people second. i always felt this way, and i cannot stand to watch any sort of animal abuse on tv or in the movies. but when i see people getting tortured, i don't even flinch. and i sometimes fantasize about hunting hunters, lol!

[onegirlcreative]

Originally Posted by Voodoo

I have a secret but I'll tell it publicly: My uncle (who is my father's identical twin) lives with us. He's never had children or a successful marriage so we are his family. As he advances in age I was worried about him living alone in Florida which is where he lived for years. My Hub and I convinced him to move here a little over a year ago. We have had a wonderful time. He has a part-time job, pays rent, etc...and all of us have, frankly, really melded into a tight family unit. I have found having a mutli-generational household is both rewarding and instilling a delightful sense of family in my DD. But my father's wife (they live in the area) complains constantly about my uncle being a 'bother' to us and that he needs his 'own family'. She says these things like he can just go buy people to take care of him as he gets older. She says all these things behind my dad's back where he can't hear her say them to me. Frankly, I want to smack the tar out of her. What's a 'bother' is her trashy kids and their drug problems and 3-4 kids each out of wedlock or with people who are now in jail. I keep my mouth shut for my dad's sake because I know they love each other but it is driving me mad. But I swear I wish she and her family would just disappear. Comments welcome....sometimes I think I'm probably just a really big b*tch for thinking this about my step-mom....other times I feel completely justified in feeling this way.

Have you ever thought about just being honest with your dad and stepmom? Why not tell them point blank that you and your DH actually enjoy having your uncle around and having him in your home actually adds to your family environment. I think that's wonderful. But I find it very sad that your stepmom (and others) judge him because he doesn't have his "own family?" Wow. That is truly sad.

Just because someone isn't married or doesn't have children of their own, doesn't make them bad people or losers. It just makes them them.

I would just be honest with your dad and stepmom and hopefully they'll just leave him alone. Let him be. It's your house and your rules, I'm sure if you didn't want him around you would have said so a while ago.

As long as you're happy and it sounds like you are, and your uncle is happy, what's the issue? She should just mind her own business, IMO.

[BagLadie]

Originally Posted by onegirlcreative

Oh definitely. I agree with you, however, I never said that I didn't hold respect for the mods. On the contrary, I completely do especially for Vlad and Megs, because they're the ones that got tPF started, and I love it here! What I said and meant was there are a few mods (not all) that I have encountered that I am not particularly fond of by their posts, since I don't know them IRL. They come off as being elitist and insensitive, and regardless of what they post, people will always commend them for their opinions, etc. when it's obvious that their opinions are completely uncalled for and callous JUST because their names are in red, pink or yellow (or whatever). That's all. I honestly didn't want this to turn into a bash back and forth. I was simply letting that OP of the secret know that I agreed with her and she wasn't alone, as I"m sure other people will agree with me, but may not post, as well. Please, let's get back to the secrets as we're clearly getting off topic which is NOT the point of this thread.

I gotcha and understand where you're coming from.

[loveyouu]

I still see people commenting on secrets that says no comment!

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by loveyouu

I still see people commenting on secrets that says no comment!

i dont see anyone doing that - its mostly no COMMENT in feedback, meaning the poster didnt say if they want feedback or not.

[candypants1100]

^yes exactly. let me clarify again- i got lazy and started writing 'no comment on feedback' meaning that the sender gave no comment as to whether or not they wanted feedback.

secret

My secret is that I HATE the abbreviation "DH."

WHY do people feel the need to shorten husband to "DH?" I think it bugs be because NOBODY would call their husband "Dear Hubby" in real life. So, why do it on a message board? Also... whenever I read a post that includes "DH"... I automatically say "Dear Hubby" in my head... and it bugs the CRAP out of me. It takes about a second and a half to write out the full word!

Even more than I hate "DH" I hate "DF" -- your DEAR fiance? Are you kidding me? Again, it takes like one second more to write out the entire word... "fiance."

And, lastly... the abbreviation I hate THE MOST is "DBF." Dear boyfriend. Wow. Okay... first, it takes LESS time to write "BF" than it does "DBF." Second, as with the other two... you can just write out "boyfriend" in a few seconds more!!

I know this is a STUPID thing to be bothered by. I really do. But, it has been irking me for quite some time... and I'm glad I can finally talk about it. LOL

I feel better now!

Thanks for letting me vent. LOL

[candypants1100]

secretI really, really hate when people say things like "that exam totally raped me". Because I was actually raped, and it feels NOTHING like failing a g*ddamn test.

I always want to tell people this, but I also believe my past is my business and my business alone- so I'm kind of stuck, I guess.

-don't care if there are comments or not