[*Lo]

This thread is so interesting, yet it makes me feel soo sad.....but I must say that it makes me feel better a little because sometimes I feel like soo many women are just perfect and i am so imperfect that hearing this stuff makes me feel not alone with being imperfect....I hope that doesnt make me a bad person.

[Divyaangana]

^^^ I definitely agree with you. And no, I don't think that makes you a bad person. I feel the same way when I read a lot of these secrets. I think it has a very humanizing effect because it reminds us that EVERYONE has their secrets, whether they may be big or small, and that NOBODY is ever really truly perfect. I think sometimes in our society, we get such a skewed conception of how we are supposed to look or act, that we almost forget we are all humans and are allowed to make mistakes or have these types of thoughts and that doesn't make us bad people.

And to all the people that have sent in secrets, big ((((HUGS)))) to all of you because even though it is anonymous, it still takes major guts to send these secrets in to be posted.

[HubbaWubba]

I commend the people who have sent in a secret. A lot of these are breaking my heart. A couple hit home with me. If anyone ever wants to talk, PM me. I promise not to judge.

[SunnyFreckles]

Originally Posted by ahs483

I would like to make a suggestion. I don't know about anyone else, but I know that I would feel much more comfterable with sending in a secret if I knew no one would reply to it. Does that make sense? Some people have responded to some of these secrets by saying "now please dont take this the wrong way.." or "im just trying to help..." and I TOTALLY understand that you are just trying to give advice. But if I send in a secret, I just want you to read it and think about it to yourself. I dont want you to tell me what you think or how you think your advice can help me. maybe this is just me, but does anyone else feel this way? And I'm not trying to pick on the people that HAVE put up advice because I can totally understand where you are coming from... I just feel like it would be better if this was ONLY secrets, no extra comments. I really hope no one is offended by this, I just thought I'd stick my idea out there...

I am guilty of this, and I am sorry.......if I hurt or offended anyone.

[Baby Boo]

i love post secret, i check it all the time, i think that in every page i cry and laugh at the secrets, they really pull on my heart strings,

as do the ones here, bravo to those who have posted! i will too!!

either way i hope that you have the support you need, and as others have said im always here tot alk too..

[fatefullotus]

Originally Posted by ahs483

I would like to make a suggestion. I don't know about anyone else, but I know that I would feel much more comfterable with sending in a secret if I knew no one would reply to it. Does that make sense? Some people have responded to some of these secrets by saying "now please dont take this the wrong way.." or "im just trying to help..." and I TOTALLY understand that you are just trying to give advice. But if I send in a secret, I just want you to read it and think about it to yourself. I dont want you to tell me what you think or how you think your advice can help me. maybe this is just me, but does anyone else feel this way? And I'm not trying to pick on the people that HAVE put up advice because I can totally understand where you are coming from... I just feel like it would be better if this was ONLY secrets, no extra comments. I really hope no one is offended by this, I just thought I'd stick my idea out there...

I concur. Sending in one's secret is cathartic in so many ways and while it really does break my heart to read some of these, I try to refrain from posting suggestions or advice. I figure that if one wanted anonymous advice, one would solicit it in a thread in the General Forum (or Relationship or Money, etc) under an alternate ID. The nature of anonymously posting one's secret is a purging of the soul/conscience and knowing there is an empathetic audience, not an audience of problem-solvers.

To everyone who posted a secret: I have no advice to render, but I do wish everyone to know that there are ppl here who will stand shoulder to shoulder, and feel your pain. I think and hope there is solace in that.

[riffraff]

^^^^ Fabulous post - I wholeheartedly agree.

[twiggers]

Originally Posted by ahs483

I would like to make a suggestion. I don't know about anyone else, but I know that I would feel much more comfterable with sending in a secret if I knew no one would reply to it. Does that make sense? Some people have responded to some of these secrets by saying "now please dont take this the wrong way.." or "im just trying to help..." and I TOTALLY understand that you are just trying to give advice. But if I send in a secret, I just want you to read it and think about it to yourself. I dont want you to tell me what you think or how you think your advice can help me. maybe this is just me, but does anyone else feel this way? And I'm not trying to pick on the people that HAVE put up advice because I can totally understand where you are coming from... I just feel like it would be better if this was ONLY secrets, no extra comments. I really hope no one is offended by this, I just thought I'd stick my idea out there...

I didn't think about that! Maybe when people send in secrets, if they don't want a response they can put 'Please do not reply' in the actual message (like the last sentence or something)!

[twiggers]

A Secret:

I'm smart, hard-working and successful. And I do cocaine once every three months or so. And absolutely nobody, not even my man, knows.

[twiggers]

Another secret:

when i was 15 i was just an awkward and unpopular girl no one really paid much attention to, and i kind of liked it that way. a boy started to pay attention to me. he wasn't just any boy, he was blond, 18, sweet, and captain of the soccer team. basically: sought after. i often caught him looking at me and he sent his friends to talk to me. i ignored them and pretended not to notice. i was scared. i was too embarassed to even tell my childhood best friend. i couldn't be sure it was for real, what would someone like that want with me? he tried to talk to me himself, he even once cut three classes hanging around the nurse's office when i was there sick. he seemed shy , like me. but was insecure as hell and i acted like a bitch. i just kept up my act. he must have gotten the idea. after a while he gave up.

i could never tell anyone that almost exactly ten years since the last time i saw this boy whom i never even really talked to, i still think about him almost everyday. i just turned 25 and no man who has shown interest in me since (and there haven't been many) has been even remotely as attractive or sweet as i remember this boy. most of these men end up being lazy, indifferent and unambitious once i get to know them. i really hate dating. i can't know for sure what the attention was really about back in high school. but i like to pretend that it was for real. it is my only shred of hope that i actually am worthy of attention from a certain kind of man and that the caliber of man i might want isn't out of my league. i could never tell anyone about this. i would feel so juvenile, obsessive, and immature.

i regret so badly that i responded like i did when i was 15. i will always wonder what would have happened if i had just responded better. when i can't sleep, i fantasize about running into this boy now and him recognizing me after so many years.
i have no hopes for anything in real life. but i refuse to let these memories and fantasies go. i don't want to think how badly i would feel about myself if i didn't have them.

[twiggers]

A final early morning secret:

His parents own two homes and are building a third. The idea is to sell the home they are in now when the third home is complete. In the meantime, my boyfriend is paying the mortgage on the new home for them. That mortgage money is supposed to be funds towards my engagement ring, which I was supposed to receive this past November. Now not only is the engagement ring fund on hold, it's completely wiped out, because he gave the money to his parents to help them with the down payment, so who knows when we'll get engaged now. What burns me is that they're not remotely appreciative of this gesture on both our parts. They call and hound him when the mortgage is due. They could sell one of their homes to finance this new home, but they didn't. The new home has been almost complete for the last 3 months but they won't move in because it has to be just so. I'm sick of playing nice and being patient. This sets us so far behind because instead of putting money away for a new home or our wedding, or even a vacation, he's paying their mortgage and we'll have to play catchup when they decide to finally sell their place and pay for their own mortgage. To put the icing on the cake, they've already hinted that the home my boyfriend is paying the mortgage on is going to his sister in their will.

He can't say no to them and I can't get in the way of their family business, nor do I want to. Afterall I am only the girlfriend. <add sarcasm>

Thanks for letting me get that out.


(Thank you Twiggers for this brilliant thread!)

[ahs483]

QueenOfDa702 - Great Idea!! I didnt think about that, but thats a perfect way for people to decide if they want others to respond or not!

Ok, so can we make the rule that if in the email someone writes "Please Dont Respond", that means that once it is posted, no one can make a reply to it? I think this is a simple way to help people feel more comfterable, but still allows people who DO want advice to get it...agreed?

[twiggers]

^^^^absolutely AHS!!!! I'll make sure when I post the secret to put the 'Do not reply' in bold font too!

[itsnicole]

This is such a great thread. I am addicted to PostSecret, and will be getting 2 of the books for Christmas (I've become obsessed). Some of these secrets have made my eyes watery... it's so sad that many of you are going through such rough times. Maybe I will get the courage to submit a secret of my own.

Thank you, twiggers, for starting this thread. I'm sure it has helped a lot of people just to get their secret out in the open.

[lovelygarments]

Twiggers, thank for starting such a great thread - it really makes you pause.... We ALL have our secrets, and it is heart rending to hear what others are feeling. I can't even put down in words how my heart feels this morning.