Our Very Own: Purse Secret

[Sunshine]

Originally Posted by twiggers

OK We have some secrets already....I'll post them one post at a time so that we can respond to each one individually if we'd like:

I am quite accompished professionaly, my colleagues are always in wonder at how well I cope and I how I never let anything get me down.
At home my life is a shambles. My husband has been seeing another woman for 7 years, they have bought a house but he won't move in it with her, becuase "we are not the kind of family that divorces". We appear at all public and family finctions together and nobody knows. My son suffers from bipolar disorder and is a major druc addict. Mostly I sit home by myself most nights. I never cry, I am famous for my laugh, they tell me my smile is warm and I am compassionate. If I ever did cry, I am afraid I would never stop.

This broke me heart. If you ever need someone to talk to please Pm me...your secret is safe with me. I feel your pain, and you will be in my thoughts.
xx

[Beautylicious]

Originally Posted by twiggers

And another one:

I'm terrified that people won't like me and I cry when people say mean things or accuse me of things when they aren't true.

I'm sure that you are a wonderful person to be around with. Don't be afraid of what other people might think of you and just be yourself. People who say mean things are usually not so very nice themselves in the first place and the fact that they're saying bad things about other people is probably to make themselves feel better. I would stay as far away from them as you can and surround yourself with the people that you do love.

Take care of yourself and big hugs from me

[twiggers]

Originally Posted by twiggers

OK We have some secrets already....I'll post them one post at a time so that we can respond to each one individually if we'd like:

I am quite accompished professionaly, my colleagues are always in wonder at how well I cope and I how I never let anything get me down.
At home my life is a shambles. My husband has been seeing another woman for 7 years, they have bought a house but he won't move in it with her, becuase "we are not the kind of family that divorces". We appear at all public and family finctions together and nobody knows. My son suffers from bipolar disorder and is a major druc addict. Mostly I sit home by myself most nights. I never cry, I am famous for my laugh, they tell me my smile is warm and I am compassionate. If I ever did cry, I am afraid I would never stop.

I am so sorry you are in such pain *HUGS* Like Sunshine said....if you ever want to vent, cry, or just talk you can always PM me as well!!!! I'm glad you were able to share your secret....I hope getting it out helped a little!

[SunnyFreckles]

I am in LOVE with this thread! I hope that many tPF'ers will be able to get their feelings/thoughts/hopes/dreams/fears out here!!!! Twiggers, this was a FANTASTIC idea!!!!

[twiggers]

Thanks Sunny!!! I hope for the exact same thing!

[wordpast]

First off, LOVE THIS THREAD.

Originally Posted by twiggers

OK We have some secrets already....I'll post them one post at a time so that we can respond to each one individually if we'd like:

I am quite accompished professionaly, my colleagues are always in wonder at how well I cope and I how I never let anything get me down.
At home my life is a shambles. My husband has been seeing another woman for 7 years, they have bought a house but he won't move in it with her, becuase "we are not the kind of family that divorces". We appear at all public and family finctions together and nobody knows. My son suffers from bipolar disorder and is a major druc addict. Mostly I sit home by myself most nights. I never cry, I am famous for my laugh, they tell me my smile is warm and I am compassionate. If I ever did cry, I am afraid I would never stop.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you. Is there anyone you can talk to about what's going on? It's not good ( mentally and psychical ) for you to keep this bottled up. Feel free to PM me too. ***BIG HUGS***

Originally Posted by twiggers

And the last one right now:

I am $65000 in credit card debt but I keep buying purses. I can't stop shopping. Sometimes this hurts my marriage. Sometimes I don't care and sometimes it makes me cry. I want to keep all the pretty bags, shoes, clothes, accessories, makeup I have and still get out of debt. They make me feel pretty and worth something. Every time I try to dig out of the hole I find another purse to put me back in. Husband makes a lot of money and we don't have a problem paying everything and having fun....but I'm afraid one day he won't have a job and we'll be bankrupt. I'm on a 36 month plan to pay it all off....but 7 months later I've only paid off one card because I've used the credit cards.

Have you ever sought counseling for this?? I ask because until you feel "pretty and worth something" on your own, without the material things, then you will forever try to substitute for it. I think I had a much much milder version of this years ago. But once I learned to love me, I didn't need any material things to make me feel complete. Of course I still love nice pretty things, but they no longer validate who I am. You have to learn to LOVE YOU.

Good luck!

[twiggers]

Another Secret Emailed:

This takes alot to get off my chest. And even tho I
know it will be anonymous, I know people will judge.
When My Fiance and I started dating I became pregnant
and we told no one about it at first. We weren't
financially stable and I didn't want to bring a child
into the world and make them suffer. It all sounds
selfish now but in my heart I think I did the best
thing. I went through and entire 10 month pregnancy
without telling any of our family members, and when
she was born she was placed for adoption. No one
knows, except for us, and now the internet, ironic
enough. She lives 10 miles away from us now, and
things of course took a turn for the better for us
abot 6 months after she was born. I live every day
with regret and wonder if I had just held out and
fought through everything she could be with us now.

[californiaCRUSH]

Originally Posted by twiggers

Another Secret Emailed:

This takes alot to get off my chest. And even tho I
know it will be anonymous, I know people will judge.
When My Fiance and I started dating I became pregnant
and we told no one about it at first. We weren't
financially stable and I didn't want to bring a child
into the world and make them suffer. It all sounds
selfish now but in my heart I think I did the best
thing. I went through and entire 10 month pregnancy
without telling any of our family members, and when
she was born she was placed for adoption. No one
knows, except for us, and now the internet, ironic
enough. She lives 10 miles away from us now, and
things of course took a turn for the better for us
abot 6 months after she was born. I live every day
with regret and wonder if I had just held out and
fought through everything she could be with us now.

You don't deserve to be judged. You did what you thought was best for your child. I understand that you're wondering if things would have been different, but you did your best at the time and as long as she's happy and healthy, I'm sure that's all that you really care about as a mother.

[twiggers]

Originally Posted by twiggers

Another Secret Emailed:

This takes alot to get off my chest. And even tho I
know it will be anonymous, I know people will judge.
When My Fiance and I started dating I became pregnant
and we told no one about it at first. We weren't
financially stable and I didn't want to bring a child
into the world and make them suffer. It all sounds
selfish now but in my heart I think I did the best
thing. I went through and entire 10 month pregnancy
without telling any of our family members, and when
she was born she was placed for adoption. No one
knows, except for us, and now the internet, ironic
enough. She lives 10 miles away from us now, and
things of course took a turn for the better for us
abot 6 months after she was born. I live every day
with regret and wonder if I had just held out and
fought through everything she could be with us now.

*HUGS* My Dad was adopted and I remember that when he was in his 30s he started searching for his family (unfortunately in the 50s they didn't keep great records), and found them. When he met his real Mom she told him that she was most thankful that he ended up with a safe and good family and that he turned out OK. That was what she worried about the most.
I think you and your fiance did what was right at the time....we can never predict our future (unfortunately)...and be thankful that she ended up in a good, safe home!
Watch from a distance and I'm hoping that when she is old enough she will seek you out and you can have a relationship in the future!
Look forward to the moments you might have with her in the future instead of dwelling on what you cannot change! The world works in mysterious ways!

And my offer stands for everyone on here....if you ever want someone to talk to...please feel free to PM me!

[twiggers]

And another (I'm a compulsive email checker...so odds are if you email a secret it'll be posted pretty quickly)

My aunt told me my Mom gave up a baby boy for adoption before I was born (different father). My aunt was drunk, but I've never had the guts to ask my Mom about it. To this day I wonder if 1/4 of my genes are out there wondering if he has a sister or a brother.

[Liberté]

This thread is amazing.

[piperlu]

This is a great thread.

Sometimes, we don't know what pain our friends and even family could be going through.

[article3]

Originally Posted by twiggers

I am so sorry you are in such pain *HUGS* Like Sunshine said....if you ever want to vent, cry, or just talk you can always PM me as well!!!! I'm glad you were able to share your secret....I hope getting it out helped a little!

My thoughts exactly... this broke my heart to read too!

[twiggers]

^^So completely true! And I figured this might be easier than sending a postcard in the mail....and people can comment (which might help some people!)!

[LouisLady]

I love you Twiggers for coming up with this great idea. It gives us a chance to get things off our chest.