[Izznit]

Originally Posted by shoegal27

That postsecret website is new to me.. Do they delete them each week, or is there an archive? It seems like there is only one week posted.

New ones every SUNDAY! Don't forget the time difference, though!

[Bagluvluv]

Originally Posted by barcreperie

Bagluvluv, but that's the stuff that counts! Some people with the financial means to treat their kids to this type thing don't do it because of time constraints or other reasons. What you're doing may not seem like much to you, but it just may change these kids lives in ways you'll probably never be aware of.

Thanks again!

[loveme]

mmmkay, this is my new account. mods, you can delete me after i post this....i wanted people to know my secrets, but i obviously do not want them to know who i am. i also have a journal that i would write in, while i was suffering from my anorexia


ive always thought i was fat, even if i knew i wasnt, if that makes any sense. middle school is the first time i started skipping breakfast. later i began skipping lunch. then dinner as well. i have done a 14 day fast, nothing but vitamin water and laxatives. that was when i was at my lowest weight ever. i purge, as well as self harm. i have had multiple thoughts of suicide and have came very close to doing it. my parents have sent me to therapy for my eating and weight. they did not know that i was self harming until they saw the cuts on my arms. i have cut my arms, legs, and stomach. my parents think i am better, i dont know if i am. i purged yesterday for the first time in months. all i ever wanted was to be liked. i wanted people to leave me alone. i wanted to go a day without being called names, or laughed at. i want to know what it's like to not feel self conscious everyday of my life. i know that i have disappointed my dad and i know that im not
the child he wanted, nor was prepared for. when i was in middle school, he found my diary with something written in it. he said if what i wrote was true, it would break his heart. i guess his heart is broken now because it is true what i wrote those many years ago. im also scared that i am not a nice person and that i go against everything that i was taught, and everything that people have told me is right. im afraid of failing, which i have most of my life. i used to swim and my dad always tells me "you could have been the best, but you threw it all away" im afraid of being homeless or poor. AND i am ashamed that i am as shallow as i am. sometimes i wish that i had been born into a poor family so that i wouldn't care. and i really couldn't care less if i was carrying a designer bag or a bag from a thrift store. i wear designer things because i equate what i wear or how much(really how little) i weigh, with how much i am worth.

[loveme]

my low weight was 104lbs. i am 5'6". my ultimate goal weight was 85 pounds. but i never made it. i sometimes lie awake in bed at night crying and asking god to make me thin. people always tell me that i could die from it and that they dont want me to, but i think part of me does it so i will die. i mean, we're going to die eventually, its just a matter of time. i never let anyone see me cry. i am embarrassed to cry in front of people. if i have to cry, i will run to the bathroom

[loveme]

i was planning on posting some of my journal entries but im not sure

[rubylola]

Originally Posted by lvuittonaddict

as i was adopted myself, i'd like to let you know how we see it. i was always told by my parents(non birth) that my birth mother loved me soo much that she decided to give me up so that i could have a better life. i LOVE my birth mother for what she did for me and always will.

What a beautiful post.

[SunnyFreckles]

Originally Posted by loveme

i was planning on posting some of my journal entries but im not sure

Honey, I think you need to.

I have no clue who you are, but I do think that you have a lot to get off your chest, and hopefully your account won't be deleted. This could be a great outlet for you. Good luck.

[juneping]

loveme - sorry to hear that. no matter what, you parents still love you very much. extreme diet can casue alot of damage to your body, e.g. hair loss, muscles sag...etc...early sign of aging. those skinny celebrities look good on the magazines..but i doubt they look that good in person.

[littlerock80]

Originally Posted by twiggers

Well I've got a pile to post...got a little busy at school today!

I have an inverted nipple, its so embarrassing, I don't even want my boyfriend to touch my breasts or look at them. I want to get surgery to correct it, but I'm scared they are going to think I'm a freak. I know I'm not the only one in the world, and I know its actually quite common, but I still feel like a freak. Its just one nipple, so I think that makes it even worse, I feel lop sided.
Thank you for listening. Comments are welcome, if you arent afraid to admit that you also have an inverted breast, I would like to know that Im not alone!

I know this was posted a while back but I hope the OP is still reading this thread b/c you are not alone!! I, too, have an inverted nipple.. My Dad says this came from my Mom (she died when I was very young so I never knew this until I asked him about it).. Because my Mom passed at such an early age I have always confided in my Dad about everything. Anywoo.. I just want to tell you to try an embrace your body!! It's what makes you you! I know it hard at times but just know that what you think is weird someone else might think it's cute.
My SO and I always laugh about my nipple b/c he thinks it's addorable and wouldn't trade it for anything it the world and I think he'snuts but regardless it;'s sweet. I don't know about the yours but mine isn't always inverted.. but rather from time to time.. for example if I am cold or something it tends to go in rather than out... but most of the times it regular.. maybe yours is different. Lots of Women have this and there are ways of fixing it if you want but just know that it's more of a quirk and something that makes you unique. I would hope that your SO would embrace this as well.
My concern (which is why I asked my Dad about it in the first place) was about nursing. I do not have any children yet but do plan on it sopmetime soon and was worried about how this would affect nursing my children. He said that they gave my mom a little pump that would suck (for lack of a better word) her nipple out and ultimately trained it to stick out rather than in so that she could nurse me. Just an FYI if you had thought about this. Anyway.. I hope you read this and PLEASE don't feel like you are some kind of freak!! Breast/ nipples are a beautiful no matter what direction they gravitate towards and I hope you can learn to appreciate this. Thank you for sharing

[loveme]

here are some of my journal entries
December 17, 2006
Dear Journal
So, I have decided to keep another journal. Let's see how long this one lasts. today was my first day at my new job. it was fun, it really makes the time go by fast. well, so much for the nice part. now for the depressing section. today i weighed myself and i was disgusted. i weighed 114.8 pounds. i have gained 4 pounds in the past two days. i want to be 105-108 by christmas. i want to be around 109 by wendesday. so that means i am not eating or drinking anything until then. i hate what i see when i look in the mirror. all i see is failure, let down and disgust. tonight i took some laxatives. it really sucks because since i eat so little, i only have a BM like every 5 days. i tried to purge today, but when i do, i make such a loud noise. i am going to do it tomorrow after my parents leave for work. in the movie the machinist, christian bale's BMI is 15.5. he is 6'2" and weighed 121. for me, i have to get to like 96 pounds to have a BMI of 15.5, but i think i can do it. I HAVE TO!! i cant wait for the day when i am truly happy. not only with the outside, but with the inside as well. i want to feel like i am worth something, like my life has a purpose. right now i wonder all the time why im here. why cant it just all be over and i dont have to worry about anything anymore? it just sucks because i know that i'll never be a great doctor or lawyer, and i'll certainly never be president. oh, i was actually thinking that if im not 108 by christmas that i will start cutting. i mean, i hate pain, but physical pain is alot less pain than emotional pain. i guess thats all for today. i will write tomorrow

[loveme]

December 24,2006
Dear journal
hey, sorry i havent written in a while. i definately need to. i've let myself go. i have gained so much weight and i am disgusting. i am probably around 116. i havent weighed myself, only because i am afraid to see how fat i am. i have started cutting. it is such an escape from the real world. oh, i met with a psychiatrist this past week. he was so stupid. he was asking me alot of personal questions that i didnt want to answer with my mom in the room, but he didnt tell her to leave. ive started taking diuretics as well. they help you loose excess water weight. oh, and hoodia pills. but, i dont know if they work. i am not going to eat for a week. i have to be thin. i need a bmi of 15.5 or die. by the end of january. thats a promise to myself. and another thing, i am able to purge w/out making as much noise now. i hope i can have control and not eat, but i guess ive gotta go. it is 12:30, CHRISTMAS, but i am really mad at my parents right now. i want to start taking ipecac

[loveme]

December 25, 2006
Dear Journal
Well, today was christmas, it was fun. family friends came over, of course. i cant believe that my friend got me a coach scarf. i am really upset with myself. i weighed myself today and i weigh 116. i am not going to eat until next sunday. well, i'll have a little to eat each day. but i have to lose 8 pounds by next week. i need to. my stomach looks fat and disgusting. plus, i need to be able to fit into a size 00. but i didnt purge today, so whatever. i am so sick of all the fat. i cant believe that i am 116 again

[loveme]

January 8, 2007
Dear Journal
hey, i havent written in a while. it's 2007 and i am so pissed because i have let myself go horribly. i have gained like 6 pounds. i am once again 116. i went like 2 weeks without purging. oooh, i went to the mall wednesday and saturday. wednesday i went with some of my friends and i got a new LV. speedy 30. saturdy i went with my dad and i was supposed to get so much stuff, but i only got a pair of uggs and a shirt because NO stores had anything. i guess cause christmas.

[SunnyFreckles]

loveme...

Keep them coming. This gives me great insite to what your world is like.

I refuse to judge you. I just need you to know that you are a person, just like the rest of us and like everyone you are dealing with demons on the inside. I really hope that this is a way for you let some of it out.

(((HUGS)))

[loveme]

SunnyFreckles Thank you for your kind words. here are a few more. also, please note, i am not skipping days, i just didnt write everyday, and i kept a journal in about 5 different notebooks. i couldnt find all of them.
You may be asking who Ana is. it is the name that people sometimes give Anorexia. Bulimia= Mia
April 4,2007
Dear Journal(Ana)
Ok, i am going to start a journal again because it really helps with the weight loss. i am a fat pig. right now am a cow. i weigh 113. im not going to lie, i need your help. i need to evolve into something better, something prettier. my low weight so far has been 108. i would give anything to have that back. i am not going to my ana myspace page until i am at least 105. in 5 days i want to be back to at least 108. i know i can do it, i just need your help. help me. help me reach my goal of 0 pounds. my ultimate goal weight. give me your guidance and wisdom to help me overcome my hunger and become who i wish to be.

April 22, 2007
Dear Ana,
oh my god. i have been failing miserably. i am sitting at a huge 117 as of right now. i am going to try to start a fast for one week. hopefully i can get back into the swing of things. i am so embarrassed. i feel like everyone can see how much weight i've gained. i will try to write back in a few days. hopefully i will be 6 pounds lighter