Open Letters: Dear...

rachieface · Mar 19th, 2008, 11:05 AM

So I don't know if this has been done in here before, but I know sometimes I write little open ended letters to people who have frustrated me and I can't scream at them, those I love and can't tell them, or those I secretly think suck but only ignore. Here's a place to write all those little letters down and maybe your letter can inspire someone to actually open their mouth (or keep it shut!) in the real world.

Dear Entitled Lady With the Screechy Voice and Mousy Daughter,

I'm sorry we didn't have any bottled water to bestow upon you yesterday. We were just about to get our order later that day, but alas this was not acceptable. The look you and your daughter gave me was one of horror, so I offered to get you a (triple filtered!) cup of water in which your daughter accepted with a serious "If I have to..." I handed you the water in which you said "Oh! I need a large one! I'm going to drink it all so quick!" in which I responded with a possible blank stare but with as much enthusiasm as I could muster from such entitlement and gave you a SUPER HUGE CRAZY WATER. Twenty minutes passes by and you hand the water to my coworker and say "I just wanted to hand this to you because it's too heavy to throw away" AND YOU DIDN'T DRINK A SINGLE SIP OF IT. NOT. ONE. SIP. Thank you for making something this miniscule in my life lead to me writing anonymous letters to you in a purse forum.

Drinking Bottled Water RIGHT NOW HAHA,
rachieface

IntlSet · Mar 19th, 2008, 12:12 PM

LOL... can't wait to see more.

tmc089 · Mar 19th, 2008, 01:25 PM

What a great idea for a thread!! I'm sure this will come in handy..

Voodoo · Mar 19th, 2008, 01:38 PM

Dear Personal Phone Caller:

Although I certainly appreciate how much you care for your friends and family, sitting in the cubicle next to you is like torture. Please stop calling everyone on the face of the planet that you know. Please cease trying to talk softly and all I can hear are the "t"s and "p"s and "s"s of your conversation. I'm glad you have a close friend getting married Saturday. I'm disturbed that I know all about it. I'm frightened that you are the person in charge of food and drinks and this is Wednesday...and the wedding is Saturday!

Please work and take care of your personal items at home after you get off work.

ladyjane76 · Mar 19th, 2008, 02:09 PM

haha ha! this is so funny ladies! love it! I shouldnt get started though, I could fill pages!

LVShoeFan2 · Mar 19th, 2008, 02:34 PM

Dear Rude Old Man,

I'm so glad that watching me struggle to open a door while pushing a double stroller, carrying a purse & shopping bags is fascinating. Thanks for not even offering to help, I know it's a difficult thing to do especially when your hands are empty and you're an able-bodied man. And, by the way, you're welcome for ME holding the door open for YOU.

IntlSet · Mar 19th, 2008, 02:42 PM

Dear Wealthy-Looking Banker in Armani with Salt & Pepper Hair,

I am APPALLED -- APPALLED -- that you took up one of the handicapped seats at the front of the bus and did not offer it to the little old lady clinging on for dear life right in front of you. Surely you saw her but was determined to be engrossed in your Wall Street Journal. If I weren't stuck standing in the back of the bus, I would have walked up and publically asked you to give up your seat for a little old lady who clearly needs it more. You turd.

guccimamma · Mar 19th, 2008, 02:57 PM

dear hot looking neighbor up the street,

thank you for dressing up so nicely every morning in your braless tank tops and low waisted sweatpants. the high heels are especially nice when walking the kids to school at 7 am.

i am sincere in my thanks, because my husband and all of the other husbands love to watch you bounce down the street. they gladly take the kids to school just to watch you.

i get to stay home and drink coffee!

kymmie · Mar 19th, 2008, 03:08 PM

Too funny!

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccimamma

dear hot looking neighbor up the street,

thank you for dressing up so nicely every morning in your braless tank tops and low waisted sweatpants. the high heels are especially nice when walking the kids to school at 7 am.

i am sincere in my thanks, because my husband and all of the other husbands love to watch you bounce down the street. they gladly take the kids to school just to watch you.

i get to stay home and drink coffee!

Trolley-Dolly · Mar 19th, 2008, 03:24 PM

Dear irratating passenger,

Thankyou for paying my wages, but PLEASE QUIT ASKING ME FOR ALCOPOPS. For the 5th time, WE DO NOT STOCK ALCOPOPS. How many people would you wish to ask onboard. I'm sure by now the 90 year old woman sitting at the aisle will know that we don't sell, yeah you know by now huh?

Lots of thanks and love
Chloe (Trolley Dolly from tpf)

guccimamma · Mar 19th, 2008, 03:27 PM

Trolley-Dolly, what are ALCOPOPS?

ilzabet · Mar 19th, 2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccimamma

Trolley-Dolly, what are ALCOPOPS?

sweet tasting malt beverages ie mike's hard lemonade, bacardi silvers, etc.

these are great! (letters, not alcopops) it's my day off so i'm not annoyed...but i'm sure i'll have something to add eventually.

Leelee · Mar 19th, 2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccimamma

dear hot looking neighbor up the street,

thank you for dressing up so nicely every morning in your braless tank tops and low waisted sweatpants. the high heels are especially nice when walking the kids to school at 7 am.

i am sincere in my thanks, because my husband and all of the other husbands love to watch you bounce down the street. they gladly take the kids to school just to watch you.

i get to stay home and drink coffee!

Oh, dear god! This is just hilarious!

gacats · Mar 19th, 2008, 06:11 PM

Dear Publisher,
It was so exciting to go outside to see the fab new BMW your lovely stay at home wife got you for Christmas!
And I know how heartbroken you were to notify us that there would be no Christmas bonus for the staff this year, but I have to let you know, your announcement, followed by the hearty exclamation of "But ya'll come outside & see what Mumsy got me for Christmas!" just made all the disappointment melt away.
We're all just so freakin' happy for you!
Regards,
your devoted employee

Obviously, I'm packing a slight grudge.

IntlSet · Mar 19th, 2008, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gacats

Dear Publisher,
It was so exciting to go outside to see the fab new BMW your lovely stay at home wife got you for Christmas!
And I know how heartbroken you were to notify us that there would be no Christmas bonus for the staff this year, but I have to let you know, your announcement, followed by the hearty exclamation of "But ya'll come outside & see what Mumsy got me for Christmas!" just made all the disappointment melt away.
We're all just so freakin' happy for you!
Regards,
your devoted employee

Obviously, I'm packing a slight grudge.

Holy moly -- is this your boss?

Mar 19th, 2008, 11:05 AM	#1
rachieface Member Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,242	Open Letters: Dear... So I don't know if this has been done in here before, but I know sometimes I write little open ended letters to people who have frustrated me and I can't scream at them, those I love and can't tell them, or those I secretly think suck but only ignore. Here's a place to write all those little letters down and maybe your letter can inspire someone to actually open their mouth (or keep it shut!) in the real world. Dear Entitled Lady With the Screechy Voice and Mousy Daughter, I'm sorry we didn't have any bottled water to bestow upon you yesterday. We were just about to get our order later that day, but alas this was not acceptable. The look you and your daughter gave me was one of horror, so I offered to get you a (triple filtered!) cup of water in which your daughter accepted with a serious "If I have to..." I handed you the water in which you said "Oh! I need a large one! I'm going to drink it all so quick!" in which I responded with a possible blank stare but with as much enthusiasm as I could muster from such entitlement and gave you a SUPER HUGE CRAZY WATER. Twenty minutes passes by and you hand the water to my coworker and say "I just wanted to hand this to you because it's too heavy to throw away" AND YOU DIDN'T DRINK A SINGLE SIP OF IT. NOT. ONE. SIP. Thank you for making something this miniscule in my life lead to me writing anonymous letters to you in a purse forum. Drinking Bottled Water RIGHT NOW HAHA, rachieface __________________ "I like my money right where I can see it - hanging in my closet!"--Carrie Bradshaw Currently lusting: Marc Jacobs Topaz Quilted Elise Marc Jacobs Spring Street in Purple "In order to be irreplaceable - one must always be different!" - - Coco Chanel

Mar 19th, 2008, 12:12 PM	#2
IntlSet Bonjour! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 10,671	Re: Open Letters: Dear... LOL... can't wait to see more. __________________ http://drinkmorechampagne.wordpress.com/

Mar 19th, 2008, 01:25 PM	#3
tmc089 Sofa King Awesome. Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Southeastern CT Posts: 1,147	Re: Open Letters: Dear... What a great idea for a thread!! I'm sure this will come in handy.. __________________ Tricia "Love all, trust few, do wrong to no one."

Mar 19th, 2008, 01:38 PM	#4
Voodoo Obsessed Tano-Ite Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Face Down Posts: 5,660	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Dear Personal Phone Caller: Although I certainly appreciate how much you care for your friends and family, sitting in the cubicle next to you is like torture. Please stop calling everyone on the face of the planet that you know. Please cease trying to talk softly and all I can hear are the "t"s and "p"s and "s"s of your conversation. I'm glad you have a close friend getting married Saturday. I'm disturbed that I know all about it. I'm frightened that you are the person in charge of food and drinks and this is Wednesday...and the wedding is Saturday! Please work and take care of your personal items at home after you get off work. __________________ My Kids

Mar 19th, 2008, 02:09 PM	#5
ladyjane76 ladyjane Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Agrestic Posts: 1,634	Re: Open Letters: Dear... haha ha! this is so funny ladies! love it! I shouldnt get started though, I could fill pages! __________________ LadyJane

Mar 19th, 2008, 02:34 PM	#6
LVShoeFan2 Hiphopopotamus Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Drinkin' your milkshake Posts: 707	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Dear Rude Old Man, I'm so glad that watching me struggle to open a door while pushing a double stroller, carrying a purse & shopping bags is fascinating. Thanks for not even offering to help, I know it's a difficult thing to do especially when your hands are empty and you're an able-bodied man. And, by the way, you're welcome for ME holding the door open for YOU.

Mar 19th, 2008, 02:42 PM	#7
IntlSet Bonjour! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 10,671	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Dear Wealthy-Looking Banker in Armani with Salt & Pepper Hair, I am APPALLED -- APPALLED -- that you took up one of the handicapped seats at the front of the bus and did not offer it to the little old lady clinging on for dear life right in front of you. Surely you saw her but was determined to be engrossed in your Wall Street Journal. If I weren't stuck standing in the back of the bus, I would have walked up and publically asked you to give up your seat for a little old lady who clearly needs it more. You turd. __________________ http://drinkmorechampagne.wordpress.com/

Mar 19th, 2008, 02:57 PM	#8
guccimamma guccimamma Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,672	Re: Open Letters: Dear... dear hot looking neighbor up the street, thank you for dressing up so nicely every morning in your braless tank tops and low waisted sweatpants. the high heels are especially nice when walking the kids to school at 7 am. i am sincere in my thanks, because my husband and all of the other husbands love to watch you bounce down the street. they gladly take the kids to school just to watch you. i get to stay home and drink coffee!

Mar 19th, 2008, 03:24 PM	#10
Trolley-Dolly i'm chloe! Joined: Nov 2007 Location: wherever Emirates takes me... Posts: 3,820	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Dear irratating passenger, Thankyou for paying my wages, but PLEASE QUIT ASKING ME FOR ALCOPOPS. For the 5th time, WE DO NOT STOCK ALCOPOPS. How many people would you wish to ask onboard. I'm sure by now the 90 year old woman sitting at the aisle will know that we don't sell, yeah you know by now huh? Lots of thanks and love Chloe (Trolley Dolly from tpf)

Mar 19th, 2008, 03:27 PM	#11
guccimamma guccimamma Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,672	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Trolley-Dolly, what are ALCOPOPS?

Mar 19th, 2008, 06:11 PM	#14
gacats love me some bags! Joined: Oct 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 4,807	Re: Open Letters: Dear... Dear Publisher, It was so exciting to go outside to see the fab new BMW your lovely stay at home wife got you for Christmas! And I know how heartbroken you were to notify us that there would be no Christmas bonus for the staff this year, but I have to let you know, your announcement, followed by the hearty exclamation of "But ya'll come outside & see what Mumsy got me for Christmas!" just made all the disappointment melt away. We're all just so freakin' happy for you! Regards, your devoted employee Obviously, I'm packing a slight grudge. __________________ GaCats My 2008 wish list: LV damier Hampstead PM (found it!) Marc by Marc Jacobs patent utility bag in Espresso ( I got one!) Jumbo CHANEL lambskin flap with gold hardware (got it!) And I'm done for this year! YAY!