How do you say NO to friends/family?

kneehighz · Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:09 PM

I was wondering this when I came across a thread in another forum. Do you let anyone borrow your fendis or other designer bags? There will always be some people that you just could not give them to (usually no one asks) but if they did, how can you say "no" without being rude?

Most everyone on the other thread said "No! Never! How dare you ask!" as their responses, but realistically, whether it's an acquaintance, good friend, sister, mother, child...and you are not comfortable, what do you do?

I can't think of a nice way to say no which is why my automatic response has been "yes" so far, but I want to change this..

Daloo3aJulz · Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:41 PM

well, i asked my aunt if she would ever sell her White MC ALma to me b/c she got it at such a good price ($200 for the MC PT and the Alma!)

and she simply said no, she loved it and could never do that. simple...

and I let my sis in law borrow my Coach bag once, btu she took good care of it...but I doubt I woulda let her if it was a Fendi or LV....actually, I don't think she would even ask!

But, I guess if I saw a family member with so many Designer bags, I would totally wonder if she would sell them to me...I would hate borrowing it though!

catcat · Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:44 PM

I have lend bags in the past but only ones that are well used the "kkeeper" style and only to people I know to be very careful with their stuff, my Fendis are all vintage so nothing to fear there.

kneehighz · Jul 2nd, 2007, 07:05 PM

Yeah I agree, always depends on the bag and who it is, but how to say "no" politely to the bags or people you won't give?

Daloo3aJulz · Jul 2nd, 2007, 07:26 PM

just say "i wish i could let you borrow it, but i feel like i would have a big panic attack, not knowing where it was or just knowing it wasn't in my possesion."

or "sorry, i would be worrying all day about it, b/c i love this bag and don't think i could let it out if my sight."

and if they get mad at you " if you can't respect my wishes then you obviously don't care about my feelings and i wouldn't want you to be holding one of my bags if you are going to act like that."

baglady.1 · Jul 2nd, 2007, 09:28 PM

I have so many bags, that I sometimes give them as gifts at Xmas time...nothing like getting an authentic LV or Fendi to brighten up their holiday! On the expensive ones, everyone in the family chips in on it with me to give as a gift....

UH OH!! Now you guys will all want a gift, right??

BalenciagaLove · Jul 2nd, 2007, 09:43 PM

I'm a bit fanatical about my bags so no one ever asks me to borrow it. But I think the best way to say "No" would be the kindest way.

kavnadoo · Jul 2nd, 2007, 10:03 PM

Yes I do baglady

But seriously I know my mum and sis will look after my bags and I actually force them (sometimes) to use them. I wouldn't let my sis use my spy cos she is a bit of a klutz. Lol. But I did (when I had it) let her use my LV. Other than that she is too scared of wreaking them. I tell my best friend that she can feel free to borrow anything she wants but she has always said no way.

It's hard to say no, but having never been put in that situation I wouldn't know. I guess if I really was put in th at situation, I would be too scared of offending so I would just say yes... even though deep down I was thinking no.

smithkellylynn · Jul 2nd, 2007, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kneehighz

I was wondering this when I came across a thread in another forum. Do you let anyone borrow your fendis or other designer bags? There will always be some people that you just could not give them to (usually no one asks) but if they did, how can you say "no" without being rude?

i am fortunate that everyone that might feel comfortable enough to ask to borrow one of my designer bags hasn't. although i'm waiting for one of the girls at my work to ask because they are always mentioning my bags, almost as though i should feel guilty (comments such as; "could you retire on your lv collection?" or "is that another bag? who's it by? while they are laughing"). people like this would never be allowed to touch my bags because they do not appreciate the bag or the money i paid for the bag (though i will NEVER tell how much i paid, who needs that fodder?!).

but, if someone did ask if they could borrow it, i would still say "no" and explain that some are collectors items and could not be replaced. even if it's a lie. it's easier then having the discussion about whether or not they would be able to replace the bag if something happened, they are contributing to the depreciation of the bag or they may not know how to properly care the bag. i see women throw their handbags around like they could care less and i cringe. especially if i see it's designer. any designer.

hope this helps!

Saich2 · Jul 3rd, 2007, 03:11 AM

I have to say this question has not come up with my friends as they know how I am with my bags, and very rarely use my spys anyway.

I think it depends who asked, if it was a really good friend and they understood about the bag, like some of my friends on here I would have no problem with them borrowing it. Deco has my Black Pearl at the moment and fully gave her permission to use it, although I do not think she has but I really would not mind. If friends have respect for the bags then I do not see a problem

kavnadoo · Jul 3rd, 2007, 05:49 AM

^couldn't agree more!

Lo14 · Jul 3rd, 2007, 12:12 PM

Funny that you ask this.

Yesterday, a lady at my job came to my desk, picked up my Fendi (which I usually keep locked away in my closet) and started handling it and rubbing the leather saying how soft and beautiful it was. Despite the compliments, I was horrified!! I wanted to scream "Stop carressing my most prized possession lady! Put it down! I didn't pay a grand to have your grimey hands all over it!"

It's safe to say I'm sensitive about my bags.

Her hands may have been perfectly clean. But I'm only this way about my Spy bags. Back in my Coach days, I wouldn't have cared.

To answer the question, I would simply tell friends that I normally would let them borrow my things, but I paid too much for my Spy to entrust it to anyone else. Hell, I've dropped it before! It's like lending out my car. I trust my friends to drive safely, but accidents happen! Simple as that.

yslalice · Jul 3rd, 2007, 02:49 PM

For me, it depends more on who asks. I

all my designer bags (mostly fendi, ysl, mj, and balenciaga), and I would let my mom use one w/o even thinking about it. I have a few close friends who I would also let borrow them. Basically, if I love them enough to BUY them a designer bag as a gift, I will more than likely let them borrow one for the day or for an event.

Sina · Jul 3rd, 2007, 03:25 PM

My mom always borrows (if you call taking and never returning borrowing =P) my bags but I don't really care. Other than her, no one can borrow. It would be hard to say no though... I mean they look through your closet and see all the unused bags, it's hard to say no. I just say the bags are like my babies and I can't just let someone borrow my child for the day lol.

Graciella · Jul 4th, 2007, 11:43 AM

I wouldn't let anyone carry it exept my mother. She doesn't want to though, not because she doesn't like my bags, but because she's afraid she'll ruin them! I felt sorry for her, so I gave her my choc paddington.

Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:09 PM	#1
kneehighz mood: PRADA! Location: tpf	How do you say NO to friends/family? I was wondering this when I came across a thread in another forum. Do you let anyone borrow your fendis or other designer bags? There will always be some people that you just could not give them to (usually no one asks) but if they did, how can you say "no" without being rude? Most everyone on the other thread said "No! Never! How dare you ask!" as their responses, but realistically, whether it's an acquaintance, good friend, sister, mother, child...and you are not comfortable, what do you do? I can't think of a nice way to say no which is why my automatic response has been "yes" so far, but I want to change this..

Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:41 PM	#2
Daloo3aJulz luf fendi Location: Cleveland!!!	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? well, i asked my aunt if she would ever sell her White MC ALma to me b/c she got it at such a good price ($200 for the MC PT and the Alma!) and she simply said no, she loved it and could never do that. simple... and I let my sis in law borrow my Coach bag once, btu she took good care of it...but I doubt I woulda let her if it was a Fendi or LV....actually, I don't think she would even ask! But, I guess if I saw a family member with so many Designer bags, I would totally wonder if she would sell them to me...I would hate borrowing it though! __________________ On My Arm: ZUCCA SPY On My Wishlist: SPALMATI SPY

Jul 2nd, 2007, 06:44 PM	#3
catcat Member Location: South of France	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? I have lend bags in the past but only ones that are well used the "kkeeper" style and only to people I know to be very careful with their stuff, my Fendis are all vintage so nothing to fear there. __________________ From Bal to Chloé to Fendi...and back to Bal , hopless purseaddict...and CL

Jul 2nd, 2007, 07:05 PM	#4
kneehighz mood: PRADA! Location: tpf	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? Yeah I agree, always depends on the bag and who it is, but how to say "no" politely to the bags or people you won't give?

Jul 2nd, 2007, 07:26 PM	#5
Daloo3aJulz luf fendi Location: Cleveland!!!	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? just say "i wish i could let you borrow it, but i feel like i would have a big panic attack, not knowing where it was or just knowing it wasn't in my possesion." or "sorry, i would be worrying all day about it, b/c i love this bag and don't think i could let it out if my sight." and if they get mad at you " if you can't respect my wishes then you obviously don't care about my feelings and i wouldn't want you to be holding one of my bags if you are going to act like that." __________________ On My Arm: ZUCCA SPY On My Wishlist: SPALMATI SPY

Jul 2nd, 2007, 09:28 PM	#6
baglady.1 Serious Bag Addict Location: In My Handbag Closet	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? I have so many bags, that I sometimes give them as gifts at Xmas time...nothing like getting an authentic LV or Fendi to brighten up their holiday! On the expensive ones, everyone in the family chips in on it with me to give as a gift.... UH OH!! Now you guys will all want a gift, right?? __________________ *I'm OUTTA HERE! Now be good 'til I get Back....* *Friends don't let friends buy fake bags!*

Jul 2nd, 2007, 09:43 PM	#7
BalenciagaLove Plisse Me! Location: SF Bay Area	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? I'm a bit fanatical about my bags so no one ever asks me to borrow it. But I think the best way to say "No" would be the kindest way. __________________ If I could remember all the names of these particles, I'd be a botanist! - Enrico Fermi

Jul 2nd, 2007, 10:03 PM	#8
kavnadoo Member Location: Melbourne, Australia	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? Yes I do baglady But seriously I know my mum and sis will look after my bags and I actually force them (sometimes) to use them. I wouldn't let my sis use my spy cos she is a bit of a klutz. Lol. But I did (when I had it) let her use my LV. Other than that she is too scared of wreaking them. I tell my best friend that she can feel free to borrow anything she wants but she has always said no way. It's hard to say no, but having never been put in that situation I wouldn't know. I guess if I really was put in th at situation, I would be too scared of offending so I would just say yes... even though deep down I was thinking no.

Jul 3rd, 2007, 03:11 AM	#10
Saich2 Member Location: United Kingdom	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? I have to say this question has not come up with my friends as they know how I am with my bags, and very rarely use my spys anyway. I think it depends who asked, if it was a really good friend and they understood about the bag, like some of my friends on here I would have no problem with them borrowing it. Deco has my Black Pearl at the moment and fully gave her permission to use it, although I do not think she has but I really would not mind. If friends have respect for the bags then I do not see a problem

Jul 3rd, 2007, 05:49 AM	#11
kavnadoo Member Location: Melbourne, Australia	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? ^couldn't agree more!

Jul 3rd, 2007, 12:12 PM	#12
Lo14 Member	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? Funny that you ask this. Yesterday, a lady at my job came to my desk, picked up my Fendi (which I usually keep locked away in my closet) and started handling it and rubbing the leather saying how soft and beautiful it was. Despite the compliments, I was horrified!! I wanted to scream "Stop carressing my most prized possession lady! Put it down! I didn't pay a grand to have your grimey hands all over it!" It's safe to say I'm sensitive about my bags. Her hands may have been perfectly clean. But I'm only this way about my Spy bags. Back in my Coach days, I wouldn't have cared. To answer the question, I would simply tell friends that I normally would let them borrow my things, but I paid too much for my Spy to entrust it to anyone else. Hell, I've dropped it before! It's like lending out my car. I trust my friends to drive safely, but accidents happen! Simple as that. Last edited by Lo14; Jul 3rd, 2007 at 12:20 PM.

Jul 3rd, 2007, 02:49 PM	#13
yslalice Autumn!	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? For me, it depends more on who asks. I all my designer bags (mostly fendi, ysl, mj, and balenciaga), and I would let my mom use one w/o even thinking about it. I have a few close friends who I would also let borrow them. Basically, if I love them enough to BUY them a designer bag as a gift, I will more than likely let them borrow one for the day or for an event. __________________ green is the new black....eco-chic.

Jul 3rd, 2007, 03:25 PM	#14
Sina Chanel rehab please!	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? My mom always borrows (if you call taking and never returning borrowing =P) my bags but I don't really care. Other than her, no one can borrow. It would be hard to say no though... I mean they look through your closet and see all the unused bags, it's hard to say no. I just say the bags are like my babies and I can't just let someone borrow my child for the day lol.

Jul 4th, 2007, 11:43 AM	#15
Graciella Member Location: Abcoude, the Netherlands	Re: How do you say NO to friends/family? I wouldn't let anyone carry it exept my mother. She doesn't want to though, not because she doesn't like my bags, but because she's afraid she'll ruin them! I felt sorry for her, so I gave her my choc paddington.