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Im sorry if this offends and I can't post this here but I don't know where else to


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Apr 15, 2011, 12:14am   #1
c
Thread Starter
Account Deactivated
This is just a random thread and I wll probably get "yelled" at for posting this, but I have noticed that when you post things or post concerns or comment, people really get angry and upset and are mean. I am not exactly new but I have only been here a couple of months and am slowly getting familiar with things, but I am not sure how and where to post things all the time.
I do not come here to get rude comments back to me or "attacks" I guess. You are obviously not allowed to be new on the purse forum. I like it here ok for when nice people decide to post back and really give you cirtain information that you are looking for, or empathize with you, but I am just randomly speculating that cirtan members will follow you from thread to thread commenting on everything you say. There are cirtain informational members who are great (and we all know who they are) that are the authenticators)) and then there are some that are just plain mean. They are bullies. I do not come here to get bullied. I am too old for that, not to mention being followed from place to place while they comment rudely "you already said that". And I hope that I do not get yelled at for this post. I mean who are you to say that you "already gave good advice" on another thread? Maybe I want someone else's opinion for gosh sakes! Or maybe I worded it differently a little bit because something has past and now the situation is different.
I wanted a place to go to get information on eBay on cirtain purses and to have fun. exceptfor the autenticators all I get sometimes is rude comments back or "you posted this already" or that has nothing to do with this" well excuse me. I do not know everything yet. I appologize for symathizing with people or commenting when others get to. I go places for fun or information, like I say. I scrapbook and do all kinds of things. But there are no hobbies anymore. People just dont do anything for fun. . People take everything seriously. I understand that buying purses on eBay is a serious business and people do it for a living and all that and you definately don't want to get a fake purse. But for gosh sakes I don't understand why people (not just myself included because I've seen other members get "attacked" - attacked isnt the best word and maybe politically incorrect) get rude comments back. maybe they just straight up DON"T KNOW. Im not a purse forum I guess you could say "oldie". People research you here and say you already posted something similar like that is scary to me I think. I don't come here to get stocked and messed with over every post or comment or thread. Why is it a crime here to rethread something if you simply want answers. I don't understand those people that can't have something nice to say. You symathize with someone and then you get "attacked" by others. And everyone else gets to complain, but I guess only the members that have been here a looongg while because us newbies obviously cannot and I just simply don't understand. Im sorry that this isgoing on for a really long time and that people on this purse forum you don't even know are the ones commenting that have nothing to do with your everyday life. People come here to have fun and to escape. Not to be spoken to rudely. Maybe others do or don't feel the same way, but Im about done with the purse forum and I realize this is a privilige or whatever but seems like you can't go anywhere to have fun or get information with out being critisized ANYWHERE on this website. Thank you for your time.
Apr 15, 2011, 12:57am   #2
Tuesdays Child's Avatar
Member
Sorry you fee that way. Send a PM to either swanky mama of three or to nat that you are being unnecessarily harassed and by whom and i am sure it will be taken care of. It's a big place and unless its pointed out by people like yourself these things can go unnoticed. Once you let them know though it will be addressed.
Apr 15, 2011, 1:40am   #3
r15324's Avatar
Mao for Miu
I would like to echo what Tuesdays Child says and would also suggest that next time you feel picked on to just ignore it or report the relevant posts. I don't know what posts you are referring to, but the mods are the best people on this forum to turn to in situations like these.
Apr 15, 2011, 7:36am   #4
jellyv's Avatar
Member
What you may not understand is a couple of features of board dynamics that include what you yourself have done thus far, not just what members have posted. One is that this forum doesn't permit a poster to start a thread more than once. Another is that the thread should be in the right area of the forum. So, for example, if it's eBay selling you want to discuss, you need to take the time to realize that and then put the thread in that forum, not elsewhere. Sure, it takes a while to get acquainted with where to post, but that's a member's responsibility and not a punishment from anyone else, whether members or mods.

Also, in addition to being against rules here, when someone creates a thread with a question, gets responses, and then reposts the very same question as a new thread, members get frustrated. If you were asked for help and gave it, but the person then simply moved on like you hadn't, you would notice. Some of that can bubble up here.

The main lesson is that people here do actually read what you post, and like anything else we all have to figure out the "manners" here.
It's not just a bunch of mean people: there are ways of communicating that fit best, and I'm sure you can get in the groove if you want to.
Apr 15, 2011, 7:53am   #5
crazyforhermess's Avatar
QUOTE me as "CFH"
1) i am as new as you are and i totally agreed with your points and let see how many of them are the same :=

a) I have asked certain questions and feedbacks are like wrong post!, has been asked before.

b) being told off very directly with something I have done (a confession posted in one of the post about our spending habit)

c) sometimes i got a feeling I am posting alone in a thread cos several times I replied with a quote, asking opinions, permissions and queries which I am expecting answers but receive no replies at all. This make me feels this particular 'group of TPFers of this brand' has their own groups and friends. They only replies amongst themselves maybe because this particular brand is so expensive that they thoughts ppl that not up to their standard are not worthy enough to for them to care. I got this feeling after some times observing them and their showcase/reveal.

2) Despite that, I havent given up yet and still continue posting and everynow and then i received good replies from kind TPFers.

I hope you could give TPF and yourself a chance and hope your stalkers will go away. Bless you


Originally Posted by cmarie81
This is just a random thread and I wll probably get "yelled" at for posting this, but I have noticed that when you post things or post concerns or comment, people really get angry and upset and are mean. I am not exactly new but I have only been here a couple of months and am slowly getting familiar with things, but I am not sure how and where to post things all the time.
I do not come here to get rude comments back to me or "attacks" I guess. You are obviously not allowed to be new on the purse forum. I like it here ok for when nice people decide to post back and really give you cirtain information that you are looking for, or empathize with you, but I am just randomly speculating that cirtan members will follow you from thread to thread commenting on everything you say. There are cirtain informational members who are great (and we all know who they are) that are the authenticators)) and then there are some that are just plain mean. They are bullies. I do not come here to get bullied. I am too old for that, not to mention being followed from place to place while they comment rudely "you already said that". And I hope that I do not get yelled at for this post. I mean who are you to say that you "already gave good advice" on another thread? Maybe I want someone else's opinion for gosh sakes! Or maybe I worded it differently a little bit because something has past and now the situation is different.
I wanted a place to go to get information on eBay on cirtain purses and to have fun. exceptfor the autenticators all I get sometimes is rude comments back or "you posted this already" or that has nothing to do with this" well excuse me. I do not know everything yet. I appologize for symathizing with people or commenting when others get to. I go places for fun or information, like I say. I scrapbook and do all kinds of things. But there are no hobbies anymore. People just dont do anything for fun. . People take everything seriously. I understand that buying purses on eBay is a serious business and people do it for a living and all that and you definately don't want to get a fake purse. But for gosh sakes I don't understand why people (not just myself included because I've seen other members get "attacked" - attacked isnt the best word and maybe politically incorrect) get rude comments back. maybe they just straight up DON"T KNOW. Im not a purse forum I guess you could say "oldie". People research you here and say you already posted something similar like that is scary to me I think. I don't come here to get stocked and messed with over every post or comment or thread. Why is it a crime here to rethread something if you simply want answers. I don't understand those people that can't have something nice to say. You symathize with someone and then you get "attacked" by others. And everyone else gets to complain, but I guess only the members that have been here a looongg while because us newbies obviously cannot and I just simply don't understand. Im sorry that this isgoing on for a really long time and that people on this purse forum you don't even know are the ones commenting that have nothing to do with your everyday life. People come here to have fun and to escape. Not to be spoken to rudely. Maybe others do or don't feel the same way, but Im about done with the purse forum and I realize this is a privilige or whatever but seems like you can't go anywhere to have fun or get information with out being critisized ANYWHERE on this website. Thank you for your time.
Apr 15, 2011, 5:01pm   #6
lelgin's Avatar
Member
Whew that was a long post OP.

As a long time member, but more of a lurker than a poster, I am under the impression that you need to grow accustomed to the dynamics of TPF. Yes, there are some people here that are really rude, but with time you'll learn to expect that of them. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of those people like to hang out in the relationship forum, where posters are more vulnerable.

I can't speak to your particular situation but I can tell you there are a lot of really nice people here who are more than willing to help out, you just need to weed through those who aren't, and that's going to take time.

As far as the board being mean to those that haven't been here for awhile, you have to be sensitive to the fact that we have seen a lot of stuff go down here on the forum. When some of the old timers joined, this forum was really small and you felt like you could trust everyone on here. Of course, that later proved to be untrue and as a result, we were instilled with a sense of caution. I believe that is what you are probably experiencing.

Stick with it and I promise it'll get better. In the meantime, try to familiarize yourself with the rules and customs around here.
Apr 15, 2011, 5:09pm   #7
boxermom's Avatar
Member
Every place has its customs and in time you pick up clues as to what is the norm in various sections of the forum. Some of the sections are very different from others, I've found and I avoid some. Also you'll find that some people have way too much time on their hands to cause mischief. It's not possible for the mods to be everywhere. If someone has actually attacked you online here, report the post (the exclamation point in the lower left corner of the posts).

The majority here are kind and helpful people--I hope you meet more and more of that group. I rarely look at the post count of people who post, but I don't doubt that others may treat the newer members poorly. They are ignorant--ignore them.

I hope you give us a chance. It's about purses and so much more. Try out some other sub-forums; you'll find some fun here.
Apr 15, 2011, 5:30pm   #8
scoobiesmomma's Avatar
♥♥♥
I have to agree with boxermom, there are definitely different customs and personalities that vary greatly from sub-forum to sub-forum here. I've been around here for quite a while now, and there are handbag brands I love, but do not necessarily post in those forums often b/c of this. Some will make you feel more welcome/unwelcome than others, it all just depends on who posts there! I have also seen some members take on a little bit more authority than imo is needed or necessary. These comments/posts can many times come off as rude and unfriendly. I have had people comment on posts I have made who I can tell want to point blank 'argue' with me. I just ignore it and leave it at that. I am not here to argue, fight or yell at others. I am here to enjoy myself and share my love of handbags with others who feel the same. I would jump around the forum and try posting in other places than where you have been. There are really some great people around here! I have made some wonderful friends via this forum and in time I am sure you will do the same. Familiarizing yourself with the rules and common practices would also be helpful as well. Welcome!
Apr 15, 2011, 7:47pm   #9
CuTe_ClAsSy's Avatar
Member
There are some very rude people here, but there are rude people everywhere. That's life. Also try to remember that something you say in writing to a bunch of strangers on the internet may come off very differently than someone would intend it if they were talking to you in real life. Things are sometimes interpreted differently when seen in writing than they would be interpreted in speech. Text looks a lot harsher. People also sometimes speak before they think when they are protected by their computer screen. I know I've done that on this forum before and I've said some really stupid things in the heat of a disagreement. Seriously, I sounded like an idiot. If people are persistently mean, just ignore them. I have learned to do that. If you stick with TPF, soon you will start to recognize the people you don't see eye to eye with, and my advice is to just skip over their posts. Don't let them affect you. They don't know you, their opinion of you can't possibly be an accurate reflection of you and therefore it really doesn't matter. And I'm sure you will find many great and helpful people on this forum to chat with and answer your questions :) As in real life, don't let the haters get to you.
Apr 15, 2011, 8:20pm   #10
mrsswns's Avatar
Member
Originally Posted by lelgin
Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of those people like to hang out in the relationship forum, where posters are more vulnerable.
I learned my lesson with that one
Apr 15, 2011, 8:28pm   #11
k
Account Deactivated
The R & F forum is by far the most unfriendly area of TPF. It can be very nasty in there.
Apr 16, 2011, 11:51am   #12
exotikittenx's Avatar
Ooh la la!
OP, I did check your posts, and I think that some people just gave you honest advice and were not rude.

I'm referring to this post here: http://forum.purseblog.com/ebay-foru...l#post18660679

I saw nothing rude about it. It's just someone trying to get you to reconsider your position.

When people have different opinions, it does not mean they are necessarily insulting you. It's just that they see things differently. Sometimes it's tough to take other perspectives into account, but it can help you grow as a person. Even though we may feel strongly about things, it doesn't mean we are always "right". Sometimes it's not even about being right, but taking all sides of the picture into consideration.

Another thing is that everyone is different. Not everyone is going to sugarcoat things with flowers and rainbows and bunnies. Please do not mistake a lack of "sugarcoating" for rudeness. Some people are more blunt and honest than others, and still have intentions to help you and offer you advice.

Good luck and hope you begin to see things a little differently. Yes, some people can be rude, but I do think people have different and even better intentions than you are giving them credit for.

Think of it as a little enlightenment: "Truth springs from argument amongst friends." – David Hume
Apr 16, 2011, 4:54pm   #13
c
Thread Starter
Account Deactivated
yea thanks for all the advice. it is stupid i take these things personally because I don't know who anybody is in reall life. I guess like I say i just get frusterated because people takethe fun stuff very seriously. I can't remember when I started originally but I recently got started again. I hit the ignore button but I still see it. Im not surewhat that means. But anyways. I just come here to have fun when Im bored and don't have anything to do on the internet. It keeps me from buying. LOL Especially reading all the horror stories on the eBay forum.
Apr 17, 2011, 10:53am   #14
thepoppet's Avatar
wind sylph
OP: I know some of the incidents you are referring to in the eBay subforum. Here are some thoughts that might help clear it up for you a little bit.

1. The eBay subforum can be intense. People come there when they've been scammed or are dealing with difficult and frustrating buying/selling situations. Emotions run high and many who have been there for a bit have seen it all and tend to be more on edge. Additionally, scammers have come to test their scams, duping many into helping them perfect those scams, and then use that info to scam fellow tPFers. People are thus on guard as well and perhaps impatient.

I'm not condoning any behavior; I am just trying to give the subforum some context that might help you understand the dynamic. It's a very serious place and few go into that part of it for fun (although fun threads do pop up there occasionally).

2. Subforum etiquette rules aren't necessarily intuitive and that can make it easy for a new members to stumble. Trust me, we've all had to learn this too (and me in particular many many times, believe me). For one, we're not allowed to post two separate threads for the same issue. If the circumstances have changed, we update our existing thread. If we want more advice, we continue asking in our original thread. Because not only does starting a new one make it look like we don't appreciate the advice offered previously (even though it's not our intention), it also clogs the first page and other people's issues get pushed down and ignored. For that same reason, we're expected to do a "search" before posting a new thread to see if this has already been answered.

Nonetheless, even when we trip up, our fellow members should politely explain this. And I believe most of them usually do. Little Rock is the main mod there and if there is a problem hit the report button or PM Little Rock and she will take immediate action. She's very good and she's extremely fair.

I hope you decide to stay. There are good people here. And for those who are rude to you, please know you can ignore or report. The mods here are very fair minded.
Apr 17, 2011, 4:57pm   #15
CobaltBlu's Avatar
thanks for the great post, thepoppet!
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