I know I made a mistake but...

hrrvett · Aug 14th, 2007, 02:16 AM

Hi,

I know I might get a lot of negative responses about this but here goes...

I'm sure a lot of you have read that I borrowed a member's picture for one of my eBay auctions. That's the short version. I'll go into the long version in a sec. My question is: I know I made a mistake but why is everyone so rude and just plain insensitive about it??!! I mean, seriously, has no one made a genuine mistake? I thought this forum was for purse lovers and for everyone to help each other out, not to be rude.

Long version:
I was selling a scarf. I took eight (8) pictures of the scarf and posted them on an auction - all my own pics. I also wanted to show pictures of how the scarf would look like on other LV pieces so I included the borrowed picture (which shows the scarf on an LV piece.) I didn't want to take a pic with my scarf on a piece because I didn't want to wrinkle or crease the scarf - I wanted it to be as new as possible for the future owner. (I actually thought I was doing something nice - I guess not!) The borrowed pic is the LAST pic in the auction and the auction is very clear (states the the pic is borrowed, that the auction is only for the scarf, etc). (and it's NOT fine print either - very boldly stated that it is only to SHOW the buyers what it will look like).

So, I didn't think much of it as all my intentions were noble, which I know understand doesn't matter. I didn't think it was a big deal, let alone against policy. I got emailed by the seller and of course was asked to remove it. I tried, but could not due to bidders having already bid. I apologized profusely to the seller and explained that I tried to remove it and asked what she would like me to do, etc. The seller only responded with 'it's against eBay.' She didn't tell me what she would like done and has yet to acknowledge my apology or that I tried to rectify the situation. She/He just continues to point out that I violated policy, etc.

So I'm just confused - does everyone here just think that they are too good to accept an apology and move on? I've got nothing but rude comments from all but one person. I would really like some insight because I made an honest mistake, apologized, and tried to fix the situation. What else could I do?

I thought I was becoming part of a group that supported each other. And it seems that the second I needed the group for support, no one is there. Perhaps everyone is supporting the picture owner and that is great if I didn't apologize for my actions but I have - NUMEROUS times.

perhaps I will never understand but I welcome your thoughts and advice.

Thanks.

skigirl73 · Aug 14th, 2007, 02:33 AM

Using someone else's pictures is taken pretty seriously on here. We all spend a lot of time taking pictures and creating our listings, and when someone does what you did it's really aggravating. I read your other posts and know that you didn't maliciously steal the picture, but you still used it without having the seller's permission. It is an eBay violation (as you now know). You can't change the past, but it would have been appropriate to contact the seller whose picture you used before you used it and explained the reason you would like to use it and ask permission before actually beforehand.

Responses on your other thread may have seemed harsh, but I think the other members were just trying to stress that it's not ok to use someone else's pictures, regardless if you are maliciously stealing them or not. The other thing that makes the situation worse is that you used another tPF member's picture, which is definitely not cool. I understand you are frustrated and maybe even upset by some of the responses you received, but put yourself in the other tPF member's shoes and think about how she felt when a fellow tPF member "borrowed" her picture without her permission.

allgoodness · Aug 14th, 2007, 02:42 AM

IMO, given your explanation, I dont think its a big deal at all. I understand why someone would get snappy if your listing was competing with theirs but this isnt the case. I think perhaps you should have emailed the seller first, but even so, your intentions were right and in all reality this is a harmless situation. Nevertheless, you will hear "Its against eBay" over and over; as if Ebay is the barometer of ethics. Were it my pic, and you asked permission, and explained it concisely as you did, I would have absolutely no problem with it. Some may agree with me, others will not, but in any event, you should have contacted the seller beforehand and requested permission. Its all good tho; learn as you go and learn from your mistakes. I think most reasonable people will let you use a pic if you explain your intentions and what you are trying to do. However, blatantly taking the pic without permission is something that will get you a lot of flack and is perhaps not the best way to sell something on Ebay. Either way, best of luck with your auction(s)!

Cheryl · Aug 14th, 2007, 03:15 AM

seems to me like you really care about being a part of this "community" and you seem really sencere about your appology. I had a picture taken from another ebayer before and it is aggrevating but i didnt even get an appology...

Litigatrix · Aug 14th, 2007, 04:30 AM

The issue isn't really, at base, that this is against eBay's policy. The issue is that it's illegal--you STOLE someone else's intellectual property. The fact that it is illegal is the reason it is against eBay policy. And it is stealing, not borrowing. If you HAD asked beforehand, then you could properly term what you did "borrow"ing.

To me, what would make this even more insulting if you had stolen my picture, would be that you KNEW how to contact me and could have EASILY sent me a PM right from where you stole my pic. Instead, you decided to just take it for granted that the rightful owner of the picture would be OK with it. I don't think this is the right way to treat other members of a community, so I don't see how it helps your situation.

lvgodiva · Aug 14th, 2007, 07:13 AM

Agree with skigirl73

It'll be a big deal if you get no permission from the owner before. I can understand what's the owner feel and think about it since I ever happened the similiar thing then that woman also registered here a few times later, to be honestly, it's blame other when you use pic from this forum without permission and thought from what you wrote ( I apologized profusely to the seller and explained that I tried to remove it and asked what she would like me to do, etc. The seller only responded with 'it's against eBay.' She didn't tell me what she would like done and has yet to acknowledge my apology or that I tried to rectify the situation. )
such you "throw" it to owner's hand while she's the victim here! and I can understand if many tPFers are in her favour.

Anyway, thought you've learnt here

we all ever made a mistake and you've emailed owner for your apology, hope everything will be okay then.

VenetiaWanter · Aug 14th, 2007, 07:52 AM

One time I posted a picture from a girl here on these boards asking if it was LE or whatever and I said that it was her picture but never asked her beforehand and people were a bit touchy about it, but the lady didn't mind, she was lovely. People are just different I guess but if you're sorry and won't do it again without asking permission then, imo, people should just leave it as a mistake :(

chloe-babe · Aug 14th, 2007, 09:18 AM

ahh I think you sound genuinely sorry and that you really did not know that you were doing anything badly wrong.

If the photo owner has been good enough to forgive you, then I would just move on, and learn from it for next time, thats all we can ever do really!

I have had photos stolen before, and its really not nice, you do feel violated BUT crucially, the people that stole my pictures, did it to mislead people and make out their horrid fake items were real, by using my genuine pictures. You clearly were not doing that, so it was at worse just misjudged!

Move on and enjoy the forum, you will learn alot here and meet some great people :)

riffraff · Aug 14th, 2007, 09:40 AM

^^^ Well said Chloe-Babe.

Miss Sooky · Aug 14th, 2007, 10:01 AM

I think there are always ways to demonstrate to someone that you believe their behaviour is mistaken or unacceptable that don't involve personal hostility. . . .separating the person from the problem is difficult sometimes, but important in my view. I have never done what you did, but I have made lots of mistakes in my time and I think that I both learned from making mistakes and, thanks to the kindness of others towards me, discovered the value of forgiveness. TPF is generally a very warm and supportive environment and I hope you will find that as time passes.

downtownatlanta · Aug 14th, 2007, 10:24 AM

You're not confused - just looking for absolution and I doubt you'll get it here. When you say you "borrowed" the photos, that makes on think that you asked first. But based on your posting it sounds like you just took it instead. When the seller notified you that it was against policy, you should have done the right thing and ended the listing. Now that you now what people think, just accept the criticism and move on. That's what you are asking the owner of the photos to do - move on.

hrrvett · Aug 14th, 2007, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litigatrix

The issue isn't really, at base, that this is against eBay's policy. The issue is that it's illegal--you STOLE someone else's intellectual property. The fact that it is illegal is the reason it is against eBay policy. And it is stealing, not borrowing. If you HAD asked beforehand, then you could properly term what you did "borrow"ing.

To me, what would make this even more insulting if you had stolen my picture, would be that you KNEW how to contact me and could have EASILY sent me a PM right from where you stole my pic. Instead, you decided to just take it for granted that the rightful owner of the picture would be OK with it. I don't think this is the right way to treat other members of a community, so I don't see how it helps your situation.

Thanks for the response. I guess my point is that I didn't know that I was "mistreating members of this community." I would think by my post that you would deduce that if I knew it was wrong, I wouldn't have done it. If I didn't feel that way, I wouldn't have PROFUSELY apologized time and time again.

What is a PM??

I definitely don't want to just try to win an argument and say that I'm right - I'm trying to figure out how to learn from this mistake. But I really don't understand what you added to this conversation other than "it's against eBay's rules, etc." What would you have done? What would you have asked me to do? I don't have the "yeah, I jacked your pic so bug off" attitude. I was genuinely trying to rectify the problem. So, if it were YOU, what would you have had me done. I gave the pic owner carte blanche and she still said nothing.

I understand that you think I did it with full well knowing that I was essentially stealing. Again, now I know. But I had all good intentions. It really did not cross my mind. It WILL now, that's for sure.

But I can honestly say that when I 'right-clicked,' all I was thinking is "ebayers will like to be able to see how the scarf will look like on this purse."

Thanks again for your input.

hrrvett · Aug 14th, 2007, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvgodiva

Agree with skigirl73

It'll be a big deal if you get no permission from the owner before. I can understand what's the owner feel and think about it since I ever happened the similiar thing then that woman also registered here a few times later, to be honestly, it's blame other when you use pic from this forum without permission and thought from what you wrote ( I apologized profusely to the seller and explained that I tried to remove it and asked what she would like me to do, etc. The seller only responded with 'it's against eBay.' She didn't tell me what she would like done and has yet to acknowledge my apology or that I tried to rectify the situation. )
such you "throw" it to owner's hand while she's the victim here! and I can understand if many tPFers are in her favour.

Anyway, thought you've learnt here

we all ever made a mistake and you've emailed owner for your apology, hope everything will be okay then.

Thanks for your reply. I definitely don't want anyone to think that I feel I'm the victim here. I clearly messed up. However, I guess I said that because I didn't know what else to do at that point. She shouldn't be able to fix the problem for me but I didn't know what to do so I asked her - again, I thought I was being professional by giving her the control. I had already done her wrong once, so I didn't want to wrong her a second time. Then when I couldn't remove the picture, I REALLY didn't know what to do. She could have at least responded to me and said, "gee, I really don't know either, but thank you for apologizing." Or she could have told me what she wanted done.

Anyway, I just wanted everyone to know that I wasn't trying to blame her by any means. And you're right, I have learned from this and will be a better ebayer.

Thanks again for your thoughts!

hrrvett · Aug 14th, 2007, 11:16 AM

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I really appreciate everyones support. I really hope to get to know everyone and become a long standing member of tPF. I'm not off to the best start

but I hope that just means that things will be smooth sailing from here on

.

Thanks again everyone!

canada's · Aug 14th, 2007, 11:25 AM

how long have you been selling on eBay?

at this point, is it not common knowledge that you are not allowed to use pics that aren't yours? stock pics MAYbe (though still illegal), but someone else's personal pictures used in THEIR auction? probaly not.

tpf member who had their pics stolen probaly told you "that's against eBay policy" because that's pretty much all she can do without taking you to a small claims court which is not worth her time or money most likely. that said, know that can happen and stealing pictures and reusing them anywhere online is grounds for copy laws to come into place.

so...now you know. people aren't being harsh...they just want to be clear that this is wrong from several viewpoints.

Aug 14th, 2007, 02:16 AM	#1
hrrvett HrrVett	I know I made a mistake but... Hi, I know I might get a lot of negative responses about this but here goes... I'm sure a lot of you have read that I borrowed a member's picture for one of my eBay auctions. That's the short version. I'll go into the long version in a sec. My question is: I know I made a mistake but why is everyone so rude and just plain insensitive about it??!! I mean, seriously, has no one made a genuine mistake? I thought this forum was for purse lovers and for everyone to help each other out, not to be rude. Long version: I was selling a scarf. I took eight (8) pictures of the scarf and posted them on an auction - all my own pics. I also wanted to show pictures of how the scarf would look like on other LV pieces so I included the borrowed picture (which shows the scarf on an LV piece.) I didn't want to take a pic with my scarf on a piece because I didn't want to wrinkle or crease the scarf - I wanted it to be as new as possible for the future owner. (I actually thought I was doing something nice - I guess not!) The borrowed pic is the LAST pic in the auction and the auction is very clear (states the the pic is borrowed, that the auction is only for the scarf, etc). (and it's NOT fine print either - very boldly stated that it is only to SHOW the buyers what it will look like). So, I didn't think much of it as all my intentions were noble, which I know understand doesn't matter. I didn't think it was a big deal, let alone against policy. I got emailed by the seller and of course was asked to remove it. I tried, but could not due to bidders having already bid. I apologized profusely to the seller and explained that I tried to remove it and asked what she would like me to do, etc. The seller only responded with 'it's against eBay.' She didn't tell me what she would like done and has yet to acknowledge my apology or that I tried to rectify the situation. She/He just continues to point out that I violated policy, etc. So I'm just confused - does everyone here just think that they are too good to accept an apology and move on? I've got nothing but rude comments from all but one person. I would really like some insight because I made an honest mistake, apologized, and tried to fix the situation. What else could I do? I thought I was becoming part of a group that supported each other. And it seems that the second I needed the group for support, no one is there. Perhaps everyone is supporting the picture owner and that is great if I didn't apologize for my actions but I have - NUMEROUS times. perhaps I will never understand but I welcome your thoughts and advice. Thanks. __________________ *HrrVett*

Aug 14th, 2007, 02:33 AM	#2
skigirl73 Member Location: Denver, CO	Re: I know I made a mistake but... Using someone else's pictures is taken pretty seriously on here. We all spend a lot of time taking pictures and creating our listings, and when someone does what you did it's really aggravating. I read your other posts and know that you didn't maliciously steal the picture, but you still used it without having the seller's permission. It is an eBay violation (as you now know). You can't change the past, but it would have been appropriate to contact the seller whose picture you used before you used it and explained the reason you would like to use it and ask permission before actually beforehand. Responses on your other thread may have seemed harsh, but I think the other members were just trying to stress that it's not ok to use someone else's pictures, regardless if you are maliciously stealing them or not. The other thing that makes the situation worse is that you used another tPF member's picture, which is definitely not cool. I understand you are frustrated and maybe even upset by some of the responses you received, but put yourself in the other tPF member's shoes and think about how she felt when a fellow tPF member "borrowed" her picture without her permission.

Aug 14th, 2007, 02:42 AM	#3
allgoodness Sofa King Banned	Re: I know I made a mistake but... IMO, given your explanation, I dont think its a big deal at all. I understand why someone would get snappy if your listing was competing with theirs but this isnt the case. I think perhaps you should have emailed the seller first, but even so, your intentions were right and in all reality this is a harmless situation. Nevertheless, you will hear "Its against eBay" over and over; as if Ebay is the barometer of ethics. Were it my pic, and you asked permission, and explained it concisely as you did, I would have absolutely no problem with it. Some may agree with me, others will not, but in any event, you should have contacted the seller beforehand and requested permission. Its all good tho; learn as you go and learn from your mistakes. I think most reasonable people will let you use a pic if you explain your intentions and what you are trying to do. However, blatantly taking the pic without permission is something that will get you a lot of flack and is perhaps not the best way to sell something on Ebay. Either way, best of luck with your auction(s)! Last edited by allgoodness; Aug 14th, 2007 at 02:49 AM.

Aug 14th, 2007, 03:15 AM	#4
Cheryl Obsessed Location: Florida	Re: I know I made a mistake but... seems to me like you really care about being a part of this "community" and you seem really sencere about your appology. I had a picture taken from another ebayer before and it is aggrevating but i didnt even get an appology... __________________ Cheryl

Aug 14th, 2007, 04:30 AM	#5
Litigatrix new 'do, same cat Location: Capitol Hill	Re: I know I made a mistake but... The issue isn't really, at base, that this is against eBay's policy. The issue is that it's illegal--you STOLE someone else's intellectual property. The fact that it is illegal is the reason it is against eBay policy. And it is stealing, not borrowing. If you HAD asked beforehand, then you could properly term what you did "borrow"ing. To me, what would make this even more insulting if you had stolen my picture, would be that you KNEW how to contact me and could have EASILY sent me a PM right from where you stole my pic. Instead, you decided to just take it for granted that the rightful owner of the picture would be OK with it. I don't think this is the right way to treat other members of a community, so I don't see how it helps your situation. __________________ PLEASE do not PM me for authentications. My Collection: http://forum.purseblog.com/your-bag-showcase/litigatrixs-im-modest-collection-144948.html Also, check out the Authentic Spy Picture Reference & Drool! Yay! http://pics.livejournal.com/fendi_spy_list/

Aug 14th, 2007, 07:13 AM	#6
lvgodiva Member	Re: I know I made a mistake but... Agree with skigirl73 It'll be a big deal if you get no permission from the owner before. I can understand what's the owner feel and think about it since I ever happened the similiar thing then that woman also registered here a few times later, to be honestly, it's blame other when you use pic from this forum without permission and thought from what you wrote ( I apologized profusely to the seller and explained that I tried to remove it and asked what she would like me to do, etc. The seller only responded with 'it's against eBay.' She didn't tell me what she would like done and has yet to acknowledge my apology or that I tried to rectify the situation. ) such you "throw" it to owner's hand while she's the victim here! and I can understand if many tPFers are in her favour. Anyway, thought you've learnt here we all ever made a mistake and you've emailed owner for your apology, hope everything will be okay then. __________________ LVGodiva. Last edited by lvgodiva; Aug 14th, 2007 at 07:15 AM.

Aug 14th, 2007, 07:52 AM	#7
VenetiaWanter Balenciaga Fanatic Location: Edinburgh	Re: I know I made a mistake but... One time I posted a picture from a girl here on these boards asking if it was LE or whatever and I said that it was her picture but never asked her beforehand and people were a bit touchy about it, but the lady didn't mind, she was lovely. People are just different I guess but if you're sorry and won't do it again without asking permission then, imo, people should just leave it as a mistake :( __________________ Current Collection : Balenciaga CP's :Bubblegum Pink 08, Jaune 07, Plomb, Violet 07 Balenciaga City Black 07 Louis Vuitton MC Koala Marc Jacobs Blake Spearmint.

Aug 14th, 2007, 09:18 AM	#8
chloe-babe Member Location: United Kingdom	Re: I know I made a mistake but... ahh I think you sound genuinely sorry and that you really did not know that you were doing anything badly wrong. If the photo owner has been good enough to forgive you, then I would just move on, and learn from it for next time, thats all we can ever do really! I have had photos stolen before, and its really not nice, you do feel violated BUT crucially, the people that stole my pictures, did it to mislead people and make out their horrid fake items were real, by using my genuine pictures. You clearly were not doing that, so it was at worse just misjudged! Move on and enjoy the forum, you will learn alot here and meet some great people :)

Aug 14th, 2007, 09:40 AM	#9
riffraff Sofa King Blonde! Location: UK	Re: I know I made a mistake but... ^^^ Well said Chloe-Babe. __________________ A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous. - Coco Chanel As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel Deep, deep inside the brain of every woman is a small bungalow in which lives a little lady who is totally obsessed with shoes and handbags

Aug 14th, 2007, 10:01 AM	#10
Miss Sooky Member Location: Curled up with a book	Re: I know I made a mistake but... I think there are always ways to demonstrate to someone that you believe their behaviour is mistaken or unacceptable that don't involve personal hostility. . . .separating the person from the problem is difficult sometimes, but important in my view. I have never done what you did, but I have made lots of mistakes in my time and I think that I both learned from making mistakes and, thanks to the kindness of others towards me, discovered the value of forgiveness. TPF is generally a very warm and supportive environment and I hope you will find that as time passes. Last edited by Miss Sooky; Aug 14th, 2007 at 10:02 AM. Reason: typos!

Aug 14th, 2007, 10:24 AM	#11
downtownatlanta Member	Re: I know I made a mistake but... You're not confused - just looking for absolution and I doubt you'll get it here. When you say you "borrowed" the photos, that makes on think that you asked first. But based on your posting it sounds like you just took it instead. When the seller notified you that it was against policy, you should have done the right thing and ended the listing. Now that you now what people think, just accept the criticism and move on. That's what you are asking the owner of the photos to do - move on.

Aug 14th, 2007, 11:16 AM	#14
hrrvett HrrVett	Re: I know I made a mistake but... I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I really appreciate everyones support. I really hope to get to know everyone and become a long standing member of tPF. I'm not off to the best start but I hope that just means that things will be smooth sailing from here on . Thanks again everyone! __________________ *HrrVett*

Aug 14th, 2007, 11:25 AM	#15
canada's Member	Re: I know I made a mistake but... how long have you been selling on eBay? at this point, is it not common knowledge that you are not allowed to use pics that aren't yours? stock pics MAYbe (though still illegal), but someone else's personal pictures used in THEIR auction? probaly not. tpf member who had their pics stolen probaly told you "that's against eBay policy" because that's pretty much all she can do without taking you to a small claims court which is not worth her time or money most likely. that said, know that can happen and stealing pictures and reusing them anywhere online is grounds for copy laws to come into place. so...now you know. people aren't being harsh...they just want to be clear that this is wrong from several viewpoints.