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Do our bags "embarass" us?

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Sep 21, 2011, 8:00am   #16
AutumnJade's Avatar
AutumnJade
Member
Originally Posted by Camnagem
I hate it that this seems to be something so many of you have to deal with. I've never had to deal with any crap from anyone else about my bags, but I don't think my response would be very polite if it were to happen.

It's not the job of anyone else to police our spending habits. People can be rude and *****y all they want...I will still love my bags!
I agree! I get a little grief from my family but it's more teasing. My brother will say, how can you pay $200 for a wallet? Wouldn't you rather have $200 IN your wallet? hahaha.
However, a coworker once tried to lecture me about my bags, telling me if I had that much to spend on a bag I should be doing this and that with it instead. I quickly reminded her that she was the one with three different gym memberships and that pretty much ended the conversation. I work hard for my money and as long as my bills are paid, I have no issue buying things that I enjoy, it just happens to be pretty bags.
Sep 21, 2011, 8:36am   #17
nc.girl's Avatar
nc.girl
Girly Gear Head
Originally Posted by emilybug
Just this week one of my friends at work told me what another co-worker has been saying about me. The woman who's been talking is 63, so she's only 2 years older than my mom, so I don't think it's a jealousy thing.....but she's been making comments about how materialistic I am. Last week I was trying to sell a couple bags to some girls at work and she was asking everyone why I'm selling them. My friend told her that I sell so I can buy something new. So she became incredulous and started telling everyone in the office that I want to sell them TO BUY A NEW BAG!!! Like that's the worst thing in the world. Then she said something to my friend like "well, at least YOU take care of your kids" like as if I don't take care of my ONE daughter! My friend has 7 kids! I have ONE! And she's always making comments (all of these behind my back, BTW) about how much money I spend on all my nice things and that's why I'm always broke, etc etc. I am just amazed at how much this woman worries about my business, and it truly makes me wonder how many other women at my job are talking behind my back. I wish I didn't care, but I am nice to everyone, and to think they are all snickering and talking bad about me does hurt my feelings. I am to the point where I almost feel nervous carrying a new bag, and don't want to be conspicuous at work with new bags, just so I don't have to deal with the looks and the sideways glances and the comments. Women. So catty!
Emilybug, I'm sorry you've got a catty lady as a co-worker! It's really crappy of her to act that way when it's really not any of her business what you do with your money. If she has some sort of opinion about how you spend your extra cash, she really ought to keep it to herself rather than broadcast to everyone else in the office. I can understand how carrying a new bag to work would make you feel nervous because of how that woman acts, and that's really not fair. You work for your money, and you should be able to enjoy your bags instead of feeling almost guilty for having them. I hope this woman backs off soon, so that you can enjoy your bags without worrying about who's saying what in the office.

As for the original question, I don't really feel embarrassed about my bags. But sometimes I do feel kind of bad because there is one girl I work with who would love to have a Coach bag, but her husband would freak because of the prices (even if she got a relatively good deal on eBay). So I feel kind of bad that she probably won't ever have one because of him. She actually did just find a brand new Kathy Van Zeeland bag at a consignment shop for $40, and I managed to talk her into buying it because I could tell she really liked it. Her husband would freak about THAT amount of money even (nevermind the fact that he spends at least $10 a day in the convenience store buying Red Bulls and cigarettes), so I'm guessing she probably won't tell him how much it was. I'm thinking I will probably try to get her something from Coach for Christmas this year. I think that just a small wristlet, skinny mini, or even a key fob would absolutely thrill her to death.
Sep 21, 2011, 8:47am   #18
nawth21's Avatar
nawth21
Addicted!
They don't embarrass me but it's no fun being 'called out' on your spending habits - whatever they may be. Some people just have to open their mouths. When it's done in fun, then it's OK. My boss asked me if I was going to get a new bag in honor of my new position (Ill have to show it to her today hehehe) and my husband likes to tease me but he likes that I'm into bags and fashion and looking cute in general lol
Sep 21, 2011, 8:57am   #19
Ticia277's Avatar
Ticia277
COACHLuver
Once upon a time, I used to wonder how people could spend so much money on a bag. But now that I'm an avid COACH Luver, I realize that spending my hard earned money on something I enjoy is a good thing. I can't tell you how many cheap bags I purchased (before my love for COACH) were quickly damaged. That' was just money wasted. COACH is expensive, but I don't mind paying for long-lasting quality. My family & friends know I'm very frugal. I clip coupons for groceries, don't spend much $ on clothing and budget everything. But, I will spend $ on my bags. At this point in my life, I don't care what anyone has to say about what I do with my money.
Sep 21, 2011, 9:00am   #20
Ticia277's Avatar
Ticia277
COACHLuver
Originally Posted by emilybug
Just this week one of my friends at work told me what another co-worker has been saying about me. The woman who's been talking is 63, so she's only 2 years older than my mom, so I don't think it's a jealousy thing.....but she's been making comments about how materialistic I am. Last week I was trying to sell a couple bags to some girls at work and she was asking everyone why I'm selling them. My friend told her that I sell so I can buy something new. So she became incredulous and started telling everyone in the office that I want to sell them TO BUY A NEW BAG!!! Like that's the worst thing in the world. Then she said something to my friend like "well, at least YOU take care of your kids" like as if I don't take care of my ONE daughter! My friend has 7 kids! I have ONE! And she's always making comments (all of these behind my back, BTW) about how much money I spend on all my nice things and that's why I'm always broke, etc etc. I am just amazed at how much this woman worries about my business, and it truly makes me wonder how many other women at my job are talking behind my back. I wish I didn't care, but I am nice to everyone, and to think they are all snickering and talking bad about me does hurt my feelings. I am to the point where I almost feel nervous carrying a new bag, and don't want to be conspicuous at work with new bags, just so I don't have to deal with the looks and the sideways glances and the comments. Women. So catty!
Sorry to hear you have to deal with this at work. It's fathoms me how some women can be nasty towards one another. Despite her age, I sense a bit of jealousy. At that age, she should have her ducks in a row to retire, and not be so concerned about your finances and sense of fashion.
Sep 21, 2011, 9:30am   #21
d
dawnqueenb69
Account Deactivated
Originally Posted by Ticia277
Sorry to hear you have to deal with this at work. It's fathoms me how some women can be nasty towards one another. Despite her age, I sense a bit of jealousy. At that age, she should have her ducks in a row to retire, and not be so concerned about your finances and sense of fashion.
Sep 21, 2011, 1:55pm   #22
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ralewi
Member
Originally Posted by wahmnow
I can totally relate. Over time this has gradually changed. Now they're more positive...even taking time to take a close look @ my bags when I get new ones. I've even converted 1 family member who said she'd never spend that much on a bag. She just recently bought her a bag w/ a matching wallet.

I remember one night out with the entire family (b-day celebration dinner) I was carrying my Ink Maggie. Since there was plenty of room & several extra chairs my hubby suggested we just use an empty chair to set the bag on (out of anyone's way of course). This way I don't have it in my lap, etc... And of course a family member rudely says, "you've gotta be kidding me, now the purse gets it's own chair!"

I was thrown off a little...I mean, I see lots of people who sit down at a table and maybe there's an extra chair and they use it to put shopping bags, purses, etc...on top of.

Lucky for me & a total surprise, my teenage son came to the rescue. He said, "Here mom, let me hold it for you. It's okay, they just don't get it." He sat down, put it in his lap, pushed his chair in & held it while he ate.

After he did that, the comment my relative made just didn't matter to me anymore, but what my son did for me I'll always remember. Anytime I'm feeling uncomfortable about carrying a bag I just try to remind myself that my son and hubby support me and there's a whole world of TPF'rs who do "get it."

@ emilybug, I'm so sorry about what you're dealing with at work. I know it's not easy to deal with all the nasty remarks. I sure hope things will get better.
Wow this made my day. You have an awesome son. Thanks for sharing.
Sep 21, 2011, 2:09pm   #23
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bunnches
Member
I do not give 1 second of my time worrying about what someone else thinks. If I want to buy a flashy car, then I will. If I want to take an extravagant vacation, then I will. If I want to buy a new bag every month, then I do. Its not their life, its mine and Im going to enjoy it no matter what anyone else thinks or says. Their opinions are meaningless to me!
Sep 21, 2011, 2:18pm   #24
CashmereFiend's Avatar
CashmereFiend
Member
Originally Posted by bunnches
I do not give 1 second of my time worrying about what someone else thinks. If I want to buy a flashy car, then I will. If I want to take an extravagant vacation, then I will. If I want to buy a new bag every month, then I do. Its not their life, its mine and Im going to enjoy it no matter what anyone else thinks or says. Their opinions are meaningless to me!
Agreed! I try not to let the crazies (read: Insecure or hypercritical or judgemental) people get to me. I refuse to be embarassed by my bag collection; it's not hurting me or anyone else. It's nobody else's business what I do with my money.... how would they begin know if multiple Coach bags are even remotely "extravagent" to my financial context, you know?

It helps that I've got a thick skin. People at work could say whatever they like about me or my bags, and it basically bounces right off of me.

It would probably bother me more if a family member said something about my bags, or one of my good girlfriends. Luckily, my family understands how long and hard I worked to get to where I am now (no problem there), and I don't befriend people who are hypercritical/judgemental/catty (so no problem there, either!).
Sep 21, 2011, 2:21pm   #25
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fdfriedrich
Member
I get comments from family (in laws) and coworkers (not as many) about how many bags I have and how $$ they are (which is over $30 to them). But, I am quick to point out that spending a bit more for quality is a better value in the long run. I'm still using a bag that is 30+ years old and in beautiful shape. I take care of it and will get to enjoy it for the rest of my life if I want. The same can't be said for a cheapie bag that will be in tatters by the end of a season.
Sep 21, 2011, 3:34pm   #26
Camnagem's Avatar
Camnagem
Loves new bag smell!
Originally Posted by bunnches
I do not give 1 second of my time worrying about what someone else thinks. If I want to buy a flashy car, then I will. If I want to take an extravagant vacation, then I will. If I want to buy a new bag every month, then I do. Its not their life, its mine and Im going to enjoy it no matter what anyone else thinks or says. Their opinions are meaningless to me!
Love this, and totally agree!!!

Not bag related, but this is the same sort of issue. I once had a random stranger gasp and give me the dirtiest look ever when I was touching up my Chanel lipstick and gloss in a restaurant bathroom. She followed up her dagger eyed stare with "my word, you probably spent more on that makeup than you will on dinner tonight". To which I replied happily "Yep! Doesn't it look great?". She left in a huff, lol. I really think some people just like to be outraged for no particular reason.
Sep 21, 2011, 4:18pm   #27
bunnches's Avatar
bunnches
Member
Originally Posted by Camnagem
Love this, and totally agree!!!

Not bag related, but this is the same sort of issue. I once had a random stranger gasp and give me the dirtiest look ever when I was touching up my Chanel lipstick and gloss in a restaurant bathroom. She followed up her dagger eyed stare with "my word, you probably spent more on that makeup than you will on dinner tonight". To which I replied happily "Yep! Doesn't it look great?". She left in a huff, lol. I really think some people just like to be outraged for no particular reason.
Ha! Thats a great come back! People just need to complain and they get so jealous so easily...oh well!
Sep 21, 2011, 4:46pm   #28
E
Eliza_Beth
Member
My husband jokingly teases me sometimes about wanting to purchase more bags. My interest in handbags is relatively new. I used to only buy a bag when I had to, maybe about once a year or so. In fact, for many years, if I could get away with going out without a bag, I would....I didn't like to feel confined to a purse all the time, especially in my dancing days. I used to carry all of my id and necessary card in a bank card protector sleeve and my cash in my front pockets. Whatever make-up I had would be on my face and that was that. Unfortunately, I now depend on medication now and I need to have it with me at all times...so gone are the days of not having some sort of handbag with me.

In the last year or so, I started getting tired of buying one so-so bag once a year and carrying it around until it was mush. And so my handbag appreciation days began. I decided if I really do need to have a bag with me, I should have something I enjoy! Besides, I don't really spend much money on myself anyway. Handbags and shoes are pretty much the only things that I purchase for myself.

So, my response (after a long winded and sort of relevant preface) pertaining to the original post, is that people do notice my handbags. I get lots of comments, but none of them are negative. Mostly, I find, that those close to me actually seem to have a little anticipation when they see me, as in "what hot new bag is she carrying today?". I get lots of positive questions/comments such as: "Where did you get that?" "Where can I find one of those?" Sometimes there is a little good natured ribbing/teasing but nothing that is pointed or nasty. If I ever did encounter someone negatively commenting on my new love and appreciation for designer handbags/footwear etc, I would pay very little attention to it and not let it ruin my day. I know that "not letting it get to you" sometimes is easier said than done when people are throwing snide remarks your way, but it is the healthiest way to handle negative people. Even though I just said I most likely wouldn't let negative feedback get under my skin, I know that sometimes, if someone I know started being critical of my purchases, I occasionally might get a little irritated and may throw a barb or two back at them ....depending on the situation. Ultimately though, for the most part, I wouldn't let anybody "make" (I put that in quotes because technically nobody can "make" us feel anything...we allow others comments and nastiness affect us) me feel bad about my love of acquiring a beautiful handbag collection! Nobody should allow anybody else to ruin their day with nasty comments. In general those people that enjoy crapping on others are doing so because they feel they don't have much to offer the world but their negative attitude.

Sorry for the long tangent.

Bottom line: Be proud of your good taste and beautiful collection! Be super cool to those that try to put you down, in any situation, be it about your handbags or anything else...rise above the B.S!
Sep 21, 2011, 5:18pm   #29
KatK's Avatar
KatK
Meow!
I have gotten to the point that I can care less if someone doesn't like my love of purses and handbags. Some people spend money on Cigarettes, some people like to go out to an expensive dinner a few times a week, some people like to go out for drinks a few times a week, so, what I spend my money on shouldn't matter to them. Some people like memories. Personally, I would rather have a tangible item. To each his / her own.
Sep 21, 2011, 5:32pm   #30
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BeeBeeshummer
Member
People that do not collect Bags do not understand how much we enjoy them, they cannot understand spending money that way, but what they don't see is that they are(I am sure) spending just as much on something else excessive, what ever that may be. So people that live in Glass Houses, well you know the saying.
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