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fabae · Sep 15th, 2009, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by Angelfangs

So I'm not sure what the big deal is here. I mean, it sounds like you took the appropriate action in emailing the parents. As a parent myself, I too would acknowledge the email then get my childs side of the story BEFORE I initiated any discipline FOR THE ACTUAL CAUSE. Don't misunderstand me....I would address the aggressive behavior as a saparate issue........clarify for me why you are upset w the parents response?

It's the tone of it. And frankly, if you've taught for any length of time, you've come across way too much of this. The teacher is no longer right; the teacher is the enemy. The teacher is out to get your kid. I'm tired of it.

No offense, and I'm in a crappy mood, but I don't even think your question was supportive.

When my child's teacher tells me about something that happened, I figure that SHE was there, not me; that clearly my child did something that warranted her taking her time to let me know about it (not something she's going to do if it's not warranted); and what is any child going to do but try to get himself out of the trouble he's clearly in?

Selena · Sep 15th, 2009, 10:57 PM

I just have to throw in a comment, not a teacher but a parent. My son is not an agreesive kid by any means but last year his teacher called and said he hit a kid on the bus. I took her word for it and apologize and severly grounded him. He went to his room and came back really upset and told me the kid he hit (they are 7) had been licking and kissing him on the bus for weeks. The other kid admitted it. So you know what, had I had that tidbit of information I wouldnt have grounded my son but rather would have focused on teaching him coping mechanisms in dealing with someone who does not respect his personal space. I have kids from 8-22 years and its been my experience that the teacher doesnt always see everything. I haver much respect for teachers and always back them infront of my kids but I do always strive to get all sides to a story.

dooneydiva · Sep 15th, 2009, 11:52 PM

So, obviously...teachers are human beings. It is quite logical that the teacher will not always be able to see everything. I agree.

I just would like to say that I wonder if this thread will remain a "teacher vent" thread or will it become a thread in which teachers must defend their actions? I understand we are posting on a public forum and anyone can enter and make comments. People are free to do so, of course. However, I hope that it could be understood that the teachers of this community have the right to complain a little bit. Most of us bite our tongues so much...
I'd like to come here and talk about some things that frustrate me (without including names or being very specific, of course as that's all confidential and to do otherwise would be completely unprofessional, not to mention illegal in some cases). I'm saying this with all due respect, although it may be hard to tell via online.

claireZk · Sep 16th, 2009, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Selena

I just have to throw in a comment, not a teacher but a parent. My son is not an agreesive kid by any means but last year his teacher called and said he hit a kid on the bus. I took her word for it and apologize and severly grounded him. He went to his room and came back really upset and told me the kid he hit (they are 7) had been licking and kissing him on the bus for weeks. The other kid admitted it. So you know what, had I had that tidbit of information I wouldnt have grounded my son but rather would have focused on teaching him coping mechanisms in dealing with someone who does not respect his personal space. I have kids from 8-22 years and its been my experience that the teacher doesnt always see everything. I haver much respect for teachers and always back them infront of my kids but I do always strive to get all sides to a story.

You're right, Selena. It's so important to ALWAYS get both sides of the story, because although hitting is never okay, sometimes there's a pretty good justification for it

ilovepinkhearts · Sep 16th, 2009, 04:27 PM

i just want to say thank you to all the teachers!! i have 3 children, 2 are in school...i have a hard time some days taking care of just them....so you guys are brave to tackle 20+ kids a day!!

here's to you

lurkernomore · Sep 16th, 2009, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by dooneydiva

So, obviously...teachers are human beings. It is quite logical that the teacher will not always be able to see everything. I agree.

I just would like to say that I wonder if this thread will remain a "teacher vent" thread or will it become a thread in which teachers must defend their actions? I understand we are posting on a public forum and anyone can enter and make comments. People are free to do so, of course. However, I hope that it could be understood that the teachers of this community have the right to complain a little bit. Most of us bite our tongues so much...
I'd like to come here and talk about some things that frustrate me (without including names or being very specific, of course as that's all confidential and to do otherwise would be completely unprofessional, not to mention illegal in some cases). I'm saying this with all due respect, although it may be hard to tell via online.

ITA - I have very supportive teammates at work and we work well together, but when I saw this thread, I thought it was a really cool idea!

On a lighter note, we had a teacher's meeting today, and I found myself checking out fake bags (we are a large school) instead of paying attention!

GhstDreamer · Sep 16th, 2009, 09:48 PM

^Funny news regarding the subject of fake goods. Our school is going to hold a charity with fake bags up for winning... :(

lurkernomore · Sep 17th, 2009, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by GhstDreamer

^Funny news regarding the subject of fake goods. Our school is going to hold a charity with fake bags up for winning... :(

I know times are tough, but isn't that illegal? Why not just have a gambling night to raise money!

Sadly, they will probably sell...

ash14vwb · Sep 17th, 2009, 08:01 PM

FRIDAY TOMORROW!!!

After the first 8 days of school, I am happy to say that 2 of my classes came down from 31 students to now 30

It's easier to manage because at least it's a large EVEN number for group work and teams!!

Hope everyone is doing well. I still can't believe how much better I feel this year compared to last. I should have started a thread like this last year but felt too silly, like I was the only one having trouble or needing to 'vent.' Now I see that our profession IS tough, but it's a worthy one.

My sweet example of this: a student in 1 of my classes last year who gave me and his other teachers such trouble has come back to me and asked if I will be his mentor for the year. Guidance and other teachers recommend students who they feel would benefit from having a mentor in their junior and senior year. I feel so lucky to be able to be a part of this student's life in a way other than as his 'Spanish teacher' and be there for him before he embarks on the real world. I feel blessed.

fabae · Sep 18th, 2009, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by dooneydiva

So, obviously...teachers are human beings. It is quite logical that the teacher will not always be able to see everything. I agree.

I just would like to say that I wonder if this thread will remain a "teacher vent" thread or will it become a thread in which teachers must defend their actions? I understand we are posting on a public forum and anyone can enter and make comments. People are free to do so, of course. However, I hope that it could be understood that the teachers of this community have the right to complain a little bit. Most of us bite our tongues so much...
I'd like to come here and talk about some things that frustrate me (without including names or being very specific, of course as that's all confidential and to do otherwise would be completely unprofessional, not to mention illegal in some cases). I'm saying this with all due respect, although it may be hard to tell via online.

Thank you, Dooneydiva! I was about to come back and point out the same thing. I am the OP. I started with thread with the intent - as the title points out - of SUPPORT ONLY. When I check back in to read the updated posts in this thread and find myself reading comments that are completely unsupportive, it works my nerves. Sorry for whomever that offends, but it does. Teachers are indeed human beings. Crap happens to us every single day, and it is clearly crap that those outside of the profession do not seem to understand. Public forum, yes. I can't stop people from reading and making judgments, but I'm begging you - PLEASE do not post a comment if it is in any way unsupportive of how difficult our job is and of our need to vent with those who understand. That is how we are able to return to work the following day and smile and carry on.

I know that if you are not in the career, you are not doing it out of malice, but here's what I need you to understand (and I'll speak from my personal experience today): I had another crappy day. It's not always students. Today my asst principal was bitchy. It's her way, she does it to everyone, but it was undeserved. It was the culmination of several difficult weeks, and I was so damned angry that I went straight to the other asst principal (a friend) and, out of sheer anger, started crying before I could get one word out of my mouth. I can take a lot of crap, but we all reach our breaking point. SO, to come in here to let that out and to instead read unsupportive comments from people who do not understand (I'm HOPING that those unsupportive comments came from someone not within the profession!) and to feel the need to defend myself or another fellow teacher (I stand up for my own!) burns me up. No, actually, it makes me want to burst into tears. That's the reality. I don't know what more to say than that.

So, in conclusion, please understand that within this wonderful community we teachers have found each other and strive to provide a criticism-free thread for each other to let out the day's frustrations so that it's easier to go back to work with a "new day" positive attitude. I need to request your respect for our feelings.

Thank you.

raindrop101 · Sep 18th, 2009, 07:00 PM

I want to say that I am not currently a teacher, though I used to be. I quit to stay home with my daughter. So, I have an enormous amount of repsect for all teachers.

My daughter has had some amazing teachers, and some that were not so amazing. I am a pretty involved parent. I donate supplies and time whenever possible. I am very careful to be aware of the fact that I am one of 60+ other parents, so I completely understand that it is overwhelming to deal with some of us.

I love the fact that most of my child's teachers have readily admitted that they are human and will make mistakes. She had one teacher that told me (and I quote) that she "never makes an error." She was one of the worst teachers that my child ever had. The kids were terrified to question her.

I admire those of you that are able to handle all types of parents with an open mind and a professional attitude. I am sure even I have been difficult at times.

Anyway, thank you for all you do and know that there are many parents that appreciate you!

lurkernomore · Sep 18th, 2009, 08:37 PM

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, so we went out tonight (Friday) for dinner - because during the week I am exhausted - but get that little burst of energy on Friday night

. My husband wants to go away next weekend, and at first I said "no", we are both too busy with work, there is too much to do around the house, etc. ...but then I thought about it, and I deserve a weekend - so we are going to go away for Fri and Sat night next week. I always bring a huge bunch of work to correct on the weekend - but I am going to do something totally out of character - have a weekend to myself like a real person

I will let you know if I feel guilty...

fabae · Sep 18th, 2009, 10:53 PM

^ No, you can't feel guilty! You deserve time for yourself, with NO schoolwork on board! Have a great time!

liz4382 · Sep 21st, 2009, 09:20 PM

Ash, I can't believe your classes have 30 kids! I wish school districts would realize that it is so much more beneficial to the students to have smaller class sizes! I am so glad you are having a better year so far though. Sending good vibes your way.

Argh, I have a student who is hitting. She is doing it solely for attention (K student) What do I do...I can't ignore it, of course, but I send her to "think time" and not only am I giving her the attention she is looking for, but she yells loudly and distracts the other students. I am trying to positively reinforce her good behavior as much as I can but I do feel like when she hits there needs to be a consequence. She is definitely my most challenging student (this is special education btw)

RosieJetson · Sep 22nd, 2009, 01:35 PM

I think e-mailing may not be the best way to relay the information both ways. Perhaps the parent's response about "asking their child" really meant s/he would get their side of the story. And then implement discipline.

Teachers choose their words carefully, whereas a layperson may not.

That said, teachers can not see EVERYTHING, and so with that in mind, I always told my children, "The second one always gets caught." This is how life is.

Here's my disclaimer, I've never been a teacher just a parent.

I wish all teachers well because their effort is really an investment in our country's greastest resource.

Sep 15th, 2009, 10:57 PM	#32
Selena Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 13,924	I just have to throw in a comment, not a teacher but a parent. My son is not an agreesive kid by any means but last year his teacher called and said he hit a kid on the bus. I took her word for it and apologize and severly grounded him. He went to his room and came back really upset and told me the kid he hit (they are 7) had been licking and kissing him on the bus for weeks. The other kid admitted it. So you know what, had I had that tidbit of information I wouldnt have grounded my son but rather would have focused on teaching him coping mechanisms in dealing with someone who does not respect his personal space. I have kids from 8-22 years and its been my experience that the teacher doesnt always see everything. I haver much respect for teachers and always back them infront of my kids but I do always strive to get all sides to a story.
Selena Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 13,924

Sep 15th, 2009, 11:52 PM	#33
dooneydiva Member Joined: May 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 563	So, obviously...teachers are human beings. It is quite logical that the teacher will not always be able to see everything. I agree. I just would like to say that I wonder if this thread will remain a "teacher vent" thread or will it become a thread in which teachers must defend their actions? I understand we are posting on a public forum and anyone can enter and make comments. People are free to do so, of course. However, I hope that it could be understood that the teachers of this community have the right to complain a little bit. Most of us bite our tongues so much... I'd like to come here and talk about some things that frustrate me (without including names or being very specific, of course as that's all confidential and to do otherwise would be completely unprofessional, not to mention illegal in some cases). I'm saying this with all due respect, although it may be hard to tell via online.
	__________________ My collection: LV Mono Speedy 25 LV Mono Neverfull PM LV Mono Croissant PM LV Mono Sarah Wallet LV Multicolore Pochette Milla MM in Black LV Multicolore Bandeau in Black Balenciaga '06 Spring/Summer CP in Black Balenciaga '07 Violet GSH City

Sep 16th, 2009, 04:27 PM	#35
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,390	i just want to say thank you to all the teachers!! i have 3 children, 2 are in school...i have a hard time some days taking care of just them....so you guys are brave to tackle 20+ kids a day!! here's to you
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Sep 16th, 2009, 09:48 PM	#37
GhstDreamer Lady Philosophy Joined: May 2008 Location: Where gavagai roam Posts: 2,407	^Funny news regarding the subject of fake goods. Our school is going to hold a charity with fake bags up for winning... :(
	__________________ On those nights full of sad omens, just run through the darkness. Wishlist: Goyard Boeing 30 in Black and Guccissima Icon Bit Boston ~I really really need to be on a ban~

Sep 17th, 2009, 08:01 PM	#39
ash14vwb praline heaven ♥ Joined: Jun 2007 Location: jersey girl Posts: 1,639	FRIDAY TOMORROW!!! After the first 8 days of school, I am happy to say that 2 of my classes came down from 31 students to now 30 It's easier to manage because at least it's a large EVEN number for group work and teams!! Hope everyone is doing well. I still can't believe how much better I feel this year compared to last. I should have started a thread like this last year but felt too silly, like I was the only one having trouble or needing to 'vent.' Now I see that our profession IS tough, but it's a worthy one. My sweet example of this: a student in 1 of my classes last year who gave me and his other teachers such trouble has come back to me and asked if I will be his mentor for the year. Guidance and other teachers recommend students who they feel would benefit from having a mentor in their junior and senior year. I feel so lucky to be able to be a part of this student's life in a way other than as his 'Spanish teacher' and be there for him before he embarks on the real world. I feel blessed.
	__________________ read the article @ marie claire... http://www.somaly.org/ ^and then please help!

Sep 18th, 2009, 07:00 PM	#41
raindrop101 Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 3	I want to say that I am not currently a teacher, though I used to be. I quit to stay home with my daughter. So, I have an enormous amount of repsect for all teachers. My daughter has had some amazing teachers, and some that were not so amazing. I am a pretty involved parent. I donate supplies and time whenever possible. I am very careful to be aware of the fact that I am one of 60+ other parents, so I completely understand that it is overwhelming to deal with some of us. I love the fact that most of my child's teachers have readily admitted that they are human and will make mistakes. She had one teacher that told me (and I quote) that she "never makes an error." She was one of the worst teachers that my child ever had. The kids were terrified to question her. I admire those of you that are able to handle all types of parents with an open mind and a professional attitude. I am sure even I have been difficult at times. Anyway, thank you for all you do and know that there are many parents that appreciate you!
raindrop101 Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 3

Sep 18th, 2009, 08:37 PM	#42
lurkernomore Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 303	Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, so we went out tonight (Friday) for dinner - because during the week I am exhausted - but get that little burst of energy on Friday night. My husband wants to go away next weekend, and at first I said "no", we are both too busy with work, there is too much to do around the house, etc. ...but then I thought about it, and I deserve a weekend - so we are going to go away for Fri and Sat night next week. I always bring a huge bunch of work to correct on the weekend - but I am going to do something totally out of character - have a weekend to myself like a real person I will let you know if I feel guilty...
lurkernomore Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 303

Sep 18th, 2009, 10:53 PM	#43
fabae OP Member Joined: Jun 2006 Location: The South Posts: 1,635	^ No, you can't feel guilty! You deserve time for yourself, with NO schoolwork on board! Have a great time!
	__________________ Banned? I haven't bought a bag since August! Though I am getting weaker.

Sep 21st, 2009, 09:20 PM	#44
liz4382 Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 25	Ash, I can't believe your classes have 30 kids! I wish school districts would realize that it is so much more beneficial to the students to have smaller class sizes! I am so glad you are having a better year so far though. Sending good vibes your way. Argh, I have a student who is hitting. She is doing it solely for attention (K student) What do I do...I can't ignore it, of course, but I send her to "think time" and not only am I giving her the attention she is looking for, but she yells loudly and distracts the other students. I am trying to positively reinforce her good behavior as much as I can but I do feel like when she hits there needs to be a consequence. She is definitely my most challenging student (this is special education btw)
liz4382 Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 25

Sep 22nd, 2009, 01:35 PM	#45
RosieJetson Member Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 66	I think e-mailing may not be the best way to relay the information both ways. Perhaps the parent's response about "asking their child" really meant s/he would get their side of the story. And then implement discipline. Teachers choose their words carefully, whereas a layperson may not. That said, teachers can not see EVERYTHING, and so with that in mind, I always told my children, "The second one always gets caught." This is how life is. Here's my disclaimer, I've never been a teacher just a parent. I wish all teachers well because their effort is really an investment in our country's greastest resource.
RosieJetson Member Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 66

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