I want to post some of my favorite Chef-isms, keeping it (fairly) clean, of course:
Chef: [gets out of his car] Hello there, children!
Boys: Hey, Chef!
Stan: What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef?
Chef: Well, today, it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green bean casserole, or vegetable medley.
Cartman: Kick ass.
Chef: Two million dollars?! The only way I can raise that kind of money is by whorin' myself to every woman in town!
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you gotta be askin' me questions that I shouldn't be answering?! "What's a lesbian, Chef?" For once, can't you just come in here and say, "Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"!
Stan: Ok. Hi Chef. Nice day isn't it?
Chef: Thank you. Yes, it is a nice day
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: The right time to start having sex is 17.
Sheila: So you mean 17 as long as you're in love?
Chef: Nope, just 17.
Chef: Parents. There are reasons why teachers can't teach sex in school. They might not know a lot about it (camera fixes on Mr Mackey), they might have a bad opinion of it (camera moves to Ms Choksondik) or they might just be a complete pervert (camera moves to Mr Garrison).
Mr. Garrison: Chef, what did you do when white people stole your culture?
Chef: Oh, well, we black people just always tried to stay out in front of them.
Mr. Slave: How did you do that?
Chef: Well, like with our slang. Black people always used to say, "I'm in the house" instead of "I'm here." But then white people all started to say "in the house" so we switched it to "in the hizzouse." Hizzouse became hizzizzouse, and then white folk started saying that, and we had to change it to hizzie, then "in the hizzle" which we had to change to "hizzle fo shizzle," and now, because white people say "hizzle fo shizzle," we have to say "flippity floppity floop."
Mr. Garrison: We don't have time for all that, Chef! Oh, if only those Queer Eye For the Straight Guy people understood what they were doing. Wait. That's it! I know exactly what to do! Come on, Mr. Slave! Let's get back to our flippity floppity floop.
Chef: Oh no! Damn it! Don't call it that!
__________________
And this above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
Polonius, Hamlet Act I, sc iii
|
Teddie says......"They'll never find me in here"!
