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You're going to abuse me for resigning? Really?

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Aug 11, 2012, 2:45am   #16
CocoMeow's Avatar
CocoMeow
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Whoever told you you have to give a months notice is hilarious, I would have seriously laughed. I hate smart asses like that that dont know anything. Your boss doesnt have to give you a month to fire you.. why would you have to give them more than 2 seconds to quit? You dont. You made the right decision, hands down. Focus on the fact that you're going to be in a happier place. Nothing is worse or more stressful than going through numerous bosses with different work ethics and having to work in cliquey environments.

That being said, I quit my job last week for similar reasons. Far too cliquey and too many politics. New bosses that didnt understand how things worked and tried to delegate improper tasks. The abuse felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart with a knife for weeks. I left without notice.

Good luck with your new job!!
Aug 11, 2012, 3:00am   #17
south-of-france's Avatar
south-of-france
Work hard, play hard
Well good for you!
When I gave notice at my last job, my boss was so mad he didn't speak to me for the entire time until I left (3 months!), but first, he yelled at me why I was doing that to him and that this was unacceptable behavior! Craaaazy.
Aug 11, 2012, 5:16am   #18
cool girl's Avatar
cool girl
Member
What?!! LOL - south-of-france - ur old boss sounds crazy. Good 4u 4getting out. He sounds really childish.
Aug 11, 2012, 11:07am   #19
BittyMonkey's Avatar
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BittyMonkey
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Originally Posted by CocoMeow
Whoever told you you have to give a months notice is hilarious, I would have seriously laughed. I hate smart asses like that that dont know anything. Your boss doesnt have to give you a month to fire you.. why would you have to give them more than 2 seconds to quit? You dont. You made the right decision, hands down. Focus on the fact that you're going to be in a happier place. Nothing is worse or more stressful than going through numerous bosses with different work ethics and having to work in cliquey environments.

That being said, I quit my job last week for similar reasons. Far too cliquey and too many politics. New bosses that didnt understand how things worked and tried to delegate improper tasks. The abuse felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart with a knife for weeks. I left without notice.

Good luck with your new job!!
I already feel a lot better. Sleeping, motivated to exercise, and eating better.

I spoke to my first boss to tell her I'm quitting (we're the same level now) and we're mostly friends at this point. She told me I had always been overqualified for what they hired me for, and that it was a waste to make me just push paper all day. So as we talked through it she told me it sounded like the decision I made was the natural one and of course I would choose this new job.

In the past me leaving has sparked an exodus at a couple of workplaces. I would accept a better job, for more money, or get out of a bad situation. Then other people would kind of realize they don't have to take the abuse either. During the 2001 downturn our boss at a prior job told us "you're lucky to HAVE a job given the unemployment, you're not getting anything any better any place else." They then proceeded to abuse us with the idea that we were stuck.

Well, that's kind of a challenge to me, because I had ethical concerns with my employer (and later, yes indeed, the Federal government shut them down). I found an amazing job. A couple of my fellow employees decided to leave after that and told me that I showed them how it should be done.

I wonder if that will play out this time. My first boss (while joking) said, "OK, you've convinced me, I'm leaving too." Probably not, because she cares less than I do about doing useless work, but it was interesting nevertheless.
Aug 11, 2012, 5:38pm   #20
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CocoMeow
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Lol what a great way to manipulate people and put fear into their minds as a form of control. People like that give me the motivation to do better and look for better, just to prove them wrong. You wonder how some of these people even got to the positions they are in. I am a former manager so I have high expectations of my bosses. Or so I thought. Im beginning to think there is not a lot of people who can lead and be proper role models in the workplace.
Aug 11, 2012, 10:45pm   #21
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nooch
Judge Roughneck
I don't even want to admit how long I thought workplaces like this were the norm/totally acceptable/the way it should be. I am so proud of you for leaving.
Aug 12, 2012, 10:34am   #22
BittyMonkey's Avatar
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BittyMonkey
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Originally Posted by nooch
I don't even want to admit how long I thought workplaces like this were the norm/totally acceptable/the way it should be. I am so proud of you for leaving.
Nooch, let me tell you how many dysfunctional nonprofits I've worked for. The bottom line is I feel that many nonprofit managers use the mission as an excuse for not paying or treating people appropriately. I'm not even talking about the for-profit/nonprofit pay discrepancy. I'm talking about just outright abuse. One place a former supervisee joined after her postdoc just didn't pay their people on time - they would insist people work with deferred payroll (they were having financial problems).

I have found that I am one of the few people who doesn't get "oh, so you must not LOVE THE CHILDREN (or insert other mission) enough if you care so much about money" because I just look at them and say, whatever, pay me or you don't get work in return. I did get "oh, we do this as a side gig and our husbands make the money, tee hee" often. To which I would respond that I had no interest in that kind of relationship, and my husband also wants me to make money to support myself.

So, no, you don't have to take it, Nooch, nor should you. You don't have to get mad, you just say, "I know my skills are good and this is what they are worth."
Aug 12, 2012, 12:20pm   #23
thepoppet's Avatar
thepoppet
wind sylph
Congrats on leaving. If I recall, you work in health or health services research, right? Was this a university or government position? Just curious. I work similarly (medical anthropology in a university med school), and it is quite insular and incestuous (they don't like to hire unknowns), but while it's a lot of overwork, it's also amazing colleagues, incredible projects, and lots of opportunity. I feel really lucky, because I know that's rare. I just can't imagine anyone being treated the way you were. So glad you're moving on. And yes, it's a risk (especially if you've been with a government organization--like the VA), but so worth it given what you've described. Also, it's just generally great to challenge yourself in positive ways and it sounds like this job only challenged your patience. Good luck and keep us posted!
Aug 12, 2012, 2:57pm   #24
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BittyMonkey
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Originally Posted by thepoppet
Congrats on leaving. If I recall, you work in health or health services research, right? Was this a university or government position? Just curious. I work similarly (medical anthropology in a university med school), and it is quite insular and incestuous (they don't like to hire unknowns), but while it's a lot of overwork, it's also amazing colleagues, incredible projects, and lots of opportunity. I feel really lucky, because I know that's rare. I just can't imagine anyone being treated the way you were. So glad you're moving on. And yes, it's a risk (especially if you've been with a government organization--like the VA), but so worth it given what you've described. Also, it's just generally great to challenge yourself in positive ways and it sounds like this job only challenged your patience. Good luck and keep us posted!
No, not academic, just a corporate health system that tends to hire within. There were some good benefits (like 401k matching) but it's just not enough to make up for chronic boredom, pigeonholing and being taken for granted.
Aug 13, 2012, 8:41am   #25
~Fabulousity~'s Avatar
~Fabulousity~
Member
Originally Posted by CocoMeow
Whoever told you you have to give a months notice is hilarious, I would have seriously laughed. I hate smart asses like that that dont know anything. Your boss doesnt have to give you a month to fire you.. why would you have to give them more than 2 seconds to quit? You dont. You made the right decision, hands down. Focus on the fact that you're going to be in a happier place. Nothing is worse or more stressful than going through numerous bosses with different work ethics and having to work in cliquey environments.

That being said, I quit my job last week for similar reasons. Far too cliquey and too many politics. New bosses that didnt understand how things worked and tried to delegate improper tasks. The abuse felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart with a knife for weeks. I left without notice.

Good luck with your new job!!
That's the worst! Hope you have peace now.
Aug 14, 2012, 4:25am   #26
thepoppet's Avatar
thepoppet
wind sylph
Originally Posted by BittyMonkey
No, not academic, just a corporate health system that tends to hire within. There were some good benefits (like 401k matching) but it's just not enough to make up for chronic boredom, pigeonholing and being taken for granted.
Ah, got it. And yes, I agree.
Aug 17, 2012, 11:29pm   #27
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jburgh
BV, Choo Ferragamo
Originally Posted by south-of-france
Well good for you!
When I gave notice at my last job, my boss was so mad he didn't speak to me for the entire time until I left (3 months!), but first, he yelled at me why I was doing that to him and that this was unacceptable behavior! Craaaazy.
Originally Posted by nooch
I don't even want to admit how long I thought workplaces like this were the norm/totally acceptable/the way it should be. I am so proud of you for leaving.
BittyMonkey - It does take a lot of courage to take a different job. I am in the same position right now - and am so conflicted. I hope you are successful and happy.
Aug 31, 2012, 2:55pm   #28
BittyMonkey's Avatar
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BittyMonkey
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Originally Posted by jburgh
BittyMonkey - It does take a lot of courage to take a different job. I am in the same position right now - and am so conflicted. I hope you are successful and happy.
Hopefully not to jinx it, but it is working out very well so far. I recommend calculated risks to everyone.
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