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what would you do if you knew your ex-employer was saying bad (untrue) things?

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Jun 1, 2011, 8:13pm   #1
s
Thread Starter
sheishollywood
LiveLaughLove
So a few weeks back I posted about a my ex-employer who was incredibly suffocating, demeaning, and disrespectful to me and many of my colleagues. He has little respect for anyone else's ideas and only listens to his. Many times he's veto'd our ideas and months later realized that he made a mistake. Of course he would never admit that he was wrong, but would blame us for not "sticking to our guns" when everything we do needs to be approved by him. How that makes sense is beyond me.

My last day was a week ago and a few days ago I heard he was telling the team that the reason I left was because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I let it slide, whatever. But now, I hear (from a good friend in the office who is a bit of a loner so I know he isn't gossiping with others) that he's been trying to tarnish my reputation by talking about me as a professional. In my opinion, if I WAS SO BAD then why didn't he just fire me? Why did I quit and he was "stunned and surprised".

What would you do in this situation? Would you confront him politely without anger and just say please do not talk about me or lie about me as a professional? When everyone in that office is late, I was ALWAYS there early. I never took holidays. I took short lunches. I am not going to let this egotistical CEO ruin the possibilities of other projects in the future.
Jun 2, 2011, 3:59am   #2
d
doreenjoy
zzz
I'd let it go, and cross him off your list of references. There's nothing you can do about it, because it will be a "he said/she said" situation. Honestly, if it's not interfering in your life, try to move on and do the best job you can in your new situation.

I know it's frustrating, but don't give him more of your energy by focusing on what he's doing. Just move on.
Jun 2, 2011, 9:09am   #3
Tuesdays Child's Avatar
Tuesdays Child
Member
Letting it go is probably the best idea. The people of the office know what he is all about and will or should discount it.

If however you feel that his slander is or can come back and haunt you (its not just a pride thing but it may affect your future employment chances) then I would just go over his head and send a (professional and not emotional) letter or email to his boss stating that his untrue actions may affect you monetarily and you will have to protect yourself at any means at your disposal. (dont mention lawsuit).
Jun 2, 2011, 9:24am   #4
juneping's Avatar
juneping
couch potato-ing
Originally Posted by Tuesdays Child
Letting it go is probably the best idea. The people of the office know what he is all about and will or should discount it.

If however you feel that his slander is or can come back and haunt you (its not just a pride thing but it may affect your future employment chances) then I would just go over his head and send a (professional and not emotional) letter or email to his boss stating that his untrue actions may affect you monetarily and you will have to protect yourself at any means at your disposal. (dont mention lawsuit).
i would do this. not to revenge but to protect your reputation. he can't spread rumors without any consequences.
Jun 2, 2011, 10:27pm   #5
yajaira's Avatar
yajaira
Member
Dont list him as a refrence anymore

Get it on tape record it ( I thought that was ilegal ) maybe use it against them ......... I used some company to

call my ex employers to see what they were saying about me they recored

everything but it was all good stuff
Jun 3, 2011, 6:50am   #6
Tuesdays Child's Avatar
Tuesdays Child
Member
Originally Posted by yajaira
Dont list him as a refrence anymore

Get it on tape record it ( I thought that was ilegal ) maybe use it against them ......... I used some company to

call my ex employers to see what they were saying about me they recored

everything but it was all good stuff
Certain states will allow you to record a phone conversation if one of the parties is aware that its being done. That how it is in new York.
Jun 3, 2011, 12:11pm   #7
m
meganfm
Member
I would let it go. I found the exact same thing happened at my last job-the day I left, my boss couldn't have better things to say about me, she thanked me for all my hard work, and agreed to be a reference for me. Then when I met up with my coworkers a couple of weeks later, I found out she had been bad mouthing me to all of them. And now, over a year later, she's STILL doing it.
I'm just glad I heard, so that I could put another coworker as a reference instead (can you imagine if someone had contacted her!). Unfortunately, I don't think there's much that you can do. Luckily they're out of your life, and as long as there isn't a chance of them knowing any future bosses of yours (if it's a small industry or if they have strong connections with other companies) I wouldn't say anything.
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