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Should women wear engagement rings to interviews?

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Aug 19, 2011, 10:27am   #16
alatrop's Avatar
alatrop
Motor City Kitties
Originally Posted by juneping
there was this girl who didn't need to work but her dad prefered her to work just to have a life experience. so she was working in our office, she was married and her engagement ring was so big like those celebrities'...you can't miss it. people were gossiping about her ring and why she was working...blah blah blah....
later i found out her father gave money to our company to hire her = pay her thru our company. i hope she'll never find out.
...
Aug 19, 2011, 11:20am   #17
ninja_please's Avatar
ninja_please
Member
Originally Posted by Sternchen
I try to stay away from anything too flashy while I am at an interview...so I guess that would also apply to a big engagement ring.
True. One of my friends told me that you don't want to wear anything that's more expensive than your superiors.
Aug 19, 2011, 11:23am   #18
D
DiorDeVille
Account Deactivated
On the flip side, I knew an attorney who turned down a great candidate because the guy showed up to the interview driving a mercedes (which - really? what does he do with the maserati drivers? ) and wearing a nice watch. His reason was that he wanted "hungry" associates - so he hired the most brash, unprofessional, tasteless guy who would have been a shoe-in for that pawn-shop reality show ... and couldn't figure out why his clients were unhappy.

So it works both ways. People hire based on their own feelings, insecurities and issues - most of which they're completely unaware of, or would never admit to. It's not a science. Hiring is an area of almost absolute power, and you know the saying about absolute power corrupting absolutely. It's a chance to see what your future boss is really made of (and for the record, most of them ARE fairly decent people).
Aug 19, 2011, 12:16pm   #19
Vintage Leather's Avatar
Vintage Leather
Bag Lady
An interview is a chance for you to get to know the target company, just as much as it is a change for them to know you.
I hate to say this, but I after a decade in the job industry, I fully understand where the hiring managers are coming from. Big diamonds are just like skulls in the workplace - people see them and make assumptions. Let the person know you are competent before they realize you are posh. There should be a rule for new graduates - never wear more on your person than you will be making in six months at the job.

I know the following statements aren't always true - but they are often assumed.

1) Someone who has nice things probably expects to be paid a living wage, and might negotiate or walk out if I offer them too little.
2) Young people with nice things are brats, because you know they haven't had the time to work for them.
3) People who wear a diamond to work for a company that thinks many diamonds are death and destruction are probably not going to be sensitive to the fact that the Company is Anti-Diamond!!

I have a taste for vintage and a bargain. In addition, I inherited many nice things - I couldn't afford to pay full retail for the items I own and carry. I've heard people gossip about me - and some of that gossip is very malicious. But, I think the fact that I can talk fashion with my boss has resulted in my last raise...
Aug 19, 2011, 12:45pm   #20
juneping's Avatar
juneping
couch potato-ing
so true.

i just remember this quote: you can please everyone.
and i want to add, you can't please someone you haven't even met.


Originally Posted by Vintage Leather
An interview is a chance for you to get to know the target company, just as much as it is a change for them to know you.
I hate to say this, but I after a decade in the job industry, I fully understand where the hiring managers are coming from. Big diamonds are just like skulls in the workplace - people see them and make assumptions. Let the person know you are competent before they realize you are posh. There should be a rule for new graduates - never wear more on your person than you will be making in six months at the job.

I know the following statements aren't always true - but they are often assumed.

1) Someone who has nice things probably expects to be paid a living wage, and might negotiate or walk out if I offer them too little.
2) Young people with nice things are brats, because you know they haven't had the time to work for them.
3) People who wear a diamond to work for a company that thinks many diamonds are death and destruction are probably not going to be sensitive to the fact that the Company is Anti-Diamond!!

I have a taste for vintage and a bargain. In addition, I inherited many nice things - I couldn't afford to pay full retail for the items I own and carry. I've heard people gossip about me - and some of that gossip is very malicious. But, I think the fact that I can talk fashion with my boss has resulted in my last raise...
Aug 19, 2011, 3:51pm   #21
k2sealer's Avatar
k2sealer
I only wear live fur
LOL. I wonder what an interview would think of my rings. I actually wear two wedding rings. The one on my left hand is from my marriage. The one on my right is my mother's wedding ring. Of course, neither one is a huge rock so I guess they wouldn't inspire anyone to be judgmental about what I was spending my money on. I would laugh though if anyone ever though I was in some kinds of freaky relationship like polyandry or something.
Aug 19, 2011, 6:12pm   #22
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Allisonfaye
Member
Originally Posted by Gimmethebag
On the flip side, some employers prefer to hire someone that doesn't NEED the paycheck, but rather works to because of their own intiative and passion to do that job to the best of their abilities.
This is the dumbest thing I ever heard. (Not directed at you, Gimme). Why would you only want to hire people who don't NEED a job? I would say 999,999 of every 100,000 people who have a job NEED it. Most people don't work for the sheer pleasure of it.
Aug 19, 2011, 6:23pm   #23
Gimmethebag's Avatar
Gimmethebag
Gimme Gimme Gimme
Originally Posted by Allisonfaye
This is the dumbest thing I ever heard. (Not directed at you, Gimme). Why would you only want to hire people who don't NEED a job? I would say 999,999 of every 100,000 people who have a job NEED it. Most people don't work for the sheer pleasure of it.
No offense taken. It's maybe a more popular perspective in industries like fashion and the arts, that aren't exactly high paying but require a great deal of interest.

People that need the money will leave a job for more money. People that are in a more comfortable position are less risky in terms of investment, provided that they like their work environment and take pride in their work.

Think of employment like dating. Some companies want to build a relationship based on more than JUST money. If you go into an interview where you can perceived as only wanting the job for the paycheck, with no desire or initiative to improve the organization, it can be just as much of a turn off as a substantial engagement ring.
Aug 19, 2011, 7:15pm   #24
BgaHolic's Avatar
BgaHolic
Emma 4ever in my <3
I was reading this and it reminded me of almost twenty years ago I was working in a law firm and I pulled up in my baby Benz and the associate lawyer who I had just been hired to work for says to his boss, (all of us parked at the same time) "looks like I should be working for her!" With that, his clever boss gave him a remark, "don't judge your secretary by the car she drives!" I was so proud he made this fool look more foolish. At that time my husband's business was thriving and it was "our" car and he was commuting via train. This lawyer was going thru a bitter divorce and was letting me have it.

IMO, it is discrimination but anything that can help a person land a job; if it means turning the stone downward so it doesn't distract the interviewer, than I say fine. I think it is far more important to dress smartly and appropriately with confidence.
Aug 19, 2011, 11:20pm   #25
J
Jaylilee
Member
Reading this, I got so peeved. I love how it's the 21st century yet women are still being judged by the merits their husbands rather than by their own. It is thoroughly irritating. I doubt men are being judged by their watches and cufflinks, why should women be judged by their engagement rings?

My ring isn't anything gigantic, but I wear it with the pride of a five year relationship. I don't remove my ring even when I go to bed, why should I remove it for an interview? My resume and recommendations should say more about me than what's on my left hand's ring finger.
Aug 20, 2011, 12:40pm   #26
miss alice's Avatar
miss alice
Dogs Rule!!
this is interesting!! I DID wear my engagement ring + wedding band when I was interviewing during my 2L and 3L yrs of law school. I never had an issue due to it and I did get the jobs I wanted (including the one I have now). However, my mom did tell me to "turn my engagement" ring around and not expose the diamond. LOL...At that time, I was like "Whhaattt?" It was just a thought that did not occur to me. I was also a bit offended (not at my mom, but at the thought of it). My mother thought my solitaire was a bit "much" bc it was very big, and she didnt want pp to draw any unfavorable conclusions...Now, looking back, she made alot of sense, I just didnt realize it then.
Aug 20, 2011, 1:52pm   #27
Jennifer_C's Avatar
Jennifer_C
Shopaholic
I don't think all judgments are about husbands or budgets, who wants versus needs a job. From my perspective, gaudy/overly flashy jewelry is just a no-no in an interview and let's face it - some engagement rings fit that category. I say get the job then wear whatever you want.
Aug 20, 2011, 2:22pm   #28
asianbelle's Avatar
asianbelle
Proud mommy of Max
Interesting. I've never worn my engagement ring to job interviews, but do usually wear my wedding band. My engagement ring is a bit flashy as I get comments on it from strangers when I'm out. I have no problem not wearing it to an interview - I mean I am trying to impress the hirer and not want them to think I'm rich or anything. Dress to impress surely includes jewelry as well! Once I get the job then I can flash my ring all I want at work!
Aug 20, 2011, 2:40pm   #29
oggers86's Avatar
oggers86
Member
I just wonder what kind of ring would be classed as too flashy for an interview? Is it just diamonds or everyday type stones?

ETA: How big does a ring need to be for it to look inappropriate? Mine looks big because my fingers are small (its a cushion cut aquamarine) but nodody has batted an eyelid at it, presumably because its "normal" I am sure if I had a diamond solitaire that was 4 carats people would notice it a lot more.
Aug 20, 2011, 2:45pm   #30
oggers86's Avatar
oggers86
Member
Originally Posted by Gimmethebag
No offense taken. It's maybe a more popular perspective in industries like fashion and the arts, that aren't exactly high paying but require a great deal of interest.

People that need the money will leave a job for more money. People that are in a more comfortable position are less risky in terms of investment, provided that they like their work environment and take pride in their work.

Think of employment like dating. Some companies want to build a relationship based on more than JUST money. If you go into an interview where you can perceived as only wanting the job for the paycheck, with no desire or initiative to improve the organization, it can be just as much of a turn off as a substantial engagement ring.
Thats a very good point, people who are doing a job just for the money tend not to put as much effort in as someone who actually wants to do the job (they may also need money but something else is driving them other than a paycheck)

If I never needed to work again I would pick something that was rewarding, maybe animal care because its personal to me. I would hope if I was ever in that situation they wouldnt turn me down because they didnt think I needed to work. They would be right but what does that tell them? I would be choosing to do something because I wanted to, not because I needed to.
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