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how do you handle loud rude scoldings from people who hold a higher position than you

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Mar 5, 2012, 10:22am   #16
Laurie8504's Avatar
Laurie8504
chocolate...where?
This happened to me once, my second day on the job. The woman who was training me yelled at me in front of customers. I just swallowed it (aka, cried in the bathroom on my break) and worked my butt off. Three weeks later I was her boss.
Mar 6, 2012, 11:09pm   #17
a
anathames
Member
Sorry to hear about your experience.
If such things happen on a regular basis, then I think you should have a word with the HR. Shouting at the juniors with no valid reasons is never appreciated.
Mar 7, 2012, 11:40am   #18
~Fabulousity~'s Avatar
~Fabulousity~
Member
Originally Posted by Laurie8504
This happened to me once, my second day on the job. The woman who was training me yelled at me in front of customers. I just swallowed it (aka, cried in the bathroom on my break) and worked my butt off. Three weeks later I was her boss.

Isn't it something how the tables can turn, and quickly at that!
Mar 7, 2012, 3:16pm   #19
Laurie8504's Avatar
Laurie8504
chocolate...where?
Originally Posted by ~Fabulousity~
Isn't it something how the tables can turn, and quickly at that!
Haha, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get any satisfaction out of it But I never felt the need to stoop to her level. You just never know what a person's life has dealt them.
Mar 7, 2012, 5:53pm   #20
Kansashalo's Avatar
Kansashalo
The 'belle is back!
I just mentally think "oh STFU" although I have to be careful because I have a face that shows what I'm thinking (I'm not a good liar).
Mar 7, 2012, 8:51pm   #21
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ninja_please
Member
Talk to your direct supervisor. This has happened to me, and my boss was very kind and understanding. He had a talk with the individual who yelled and me and advised that in the future, I should politely end the conversation and bring it to his attention immediately.
Mar 7, 2012, 8:59pm   #22
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ninja_please
Member
Originally Posted by oranGetRee
thanks everyone.

My boss did do something in the end, he reported the case to even higher management and they all agreed that such behaviour is unacceptable. They wanted to meet the "yeller" tomorrow but rumour has it that he might not turn up.

My friend said that this is powerplay, between him and my boss. I replied that I am the "collateral damage".
Sorry I missed this post, but I think it's wonderful that your boss took your complaint seriously.

These power plays happen a lot, and I know how stressful it can be!
Mar 8, 2012, 9:27am   #23
oranGetRee's Avatar
Thread Starter
oranGetRee
**I am a Vain Pot**
Thanks, nanja... and all who responded in kindness to me.

I am glad my boss did something. It is really awkward to meet the yeller in office and I heard from my staff that he is complaining alot about me behind my back to. But I am going to do what I think is right and not be revengeful just because he is nasty to me.

Originally Posted by ninja_please
Sorry I missed this post, but I think it's wonderful that your boss took your complaint seriously.

These power plays happen a lot, and I know how stressful it can be!
Mar 8, 2012, 11:05am   #24
~Fabulousity~'s Avatar
~Fabulousity~
Member
Originally Posted by Laurie8504
Haha, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get any satisfaction out of it But I never felt the need to stoop to her level. You just never know what a person's life has dealt them.

I'm the same way, I always let a mean person be mean and ignore them best I can.
Mar 8, 2012, 11:05am   #25
~Fabulousity~'s Avatar
~Fabulousity~
Member
Originally Posted by Kansashalo
I just mentally think "oh STFU" although I have to be careful because I have a face that shows what I'm thinking (I'm not a good liar).

me too
Mar 9, 2012, 11:15pm   #26
Florasun's Avatar
Florasun
Member
This sounds like workplace bullying and is totally unacceptable.
Did the yeller show up for his spanking?
Mar 9, 2012, 11:16pm   #27
Florasun's Avatar
Florasun
Member
Originally Posted by Kansashalo
I just mentally think "oh STFU" although I have to be careful because I have a face that shows what I'm thinking (I'm not a good liar).
OMG, me too! LOL!
Mar 14, 2012, 10:40am   #28
rainrowan's Avatar
rainrowan
where's my bag?!
I had a senior manager who was competing with my manager (my manager got the promotion) and took it out on me every chance she got with snide little remarks. One day, I said out of frustration as she flung some files on my desk, "Listen, I'm on your side. We're all on the same side. I'm trying to work with you." I think because I made her aware I heard her own frustration, she didn't feel so volatile. I dunno but treatment after that was much more respectful. I think a lot of people bring a lot of other issues to the table and they are not all work related.

OTOH, if it's not going to cause the manager to go berserk, I'd just pick up the phone and start dialing as if I have something else to attend. He'd look pretty stupid yelling while you were on the phone to HR or something.
Mar 16, 2012, 5:37pm   #29
CeeJay's Avatar
CeeJay
A BAL-enced Life!
Originally Posted by triniteematrix
OMG lol you clearly do not work in finance!

I get yelled (when I say yell, maybe not scream, but very rude) at and scolded a lot where I work. I sort of let it brush off of me. However, the people doing the yelling do have seniority over me so I won't give them too much back because they are higher up than me. It really depends on who the person is. If it's some executive (i am far too low on the corporate totem pole to be meeting with these people) you REALLY just have to kind of bend over and take it, because it could be your job on the line. There is this one guy who stands up to the executives all the time, and they HATE him. He has not been fired yet, but he is not well liked. I personally admire him for standing up to them when they are being ridiculous *******s, but at the same time if it were me I would probably just take the punches and be really polite and ask them how I can improve and not make the same mistake.

This goes back to my first sentence, when the Chief Financial Officer is yelling at you it's pretty much accepted because he is at the top rung of the ladder and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I am also in the Financial Sector .. but let me tell you something, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should anyone, regardless of their position be yelled at/scolded publicly!! These people are bullies, and they are relying on the fact that you will keep mum about it (especially if you are a female). To that I say a BIG BS!!!

When this has happened to me (and trust me, it's happened a LOT, especially now since everyone is overworked and tired), I simply stand up and say "while you may think that it's appropriate to yell/scold me in public, it can be construed as harassment and is highly unprofessional and not something that I would expect from someone in your position. If you wish to discuss, then I would recommend that we reconvene into a conference room/office and we invite my boss as well so that we can all discuss in a rational and calm manner".

Everytime I've done this, it stops the person in their tracks and imparts the following:
  1. I refuse to be intimidated by you
  2. Harassment is a serious offense and not something that anyone wants on their record regardless of their level
  3. You expect, that since they are in a more "senior" position, that they conduct themselves in the manner befitting that position
  4. You (being the person doing the yelling/scolding) should think before engaging their mouth
Yes, I understand that a lot of people are afraid of losing their jobs, but that does not mean that you should allow this type of behavior. This person is a bully, and is expecting you to be intimidated. By showing that you WILL NOT be intimidated, you would be surprised how quickly they will back off .. and realize that you are not someone to be "messed" with. I have been in the Financial Sector for 20+ years; I'm still here and the bullies have gone elsewhere. I WIN!!!
Mar 21, 2012, 7:40am   #30
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Ryvyan
& it was all yellow
As a new teacher, I was yelled at by my co-teacher in the classroom in front of our students. I was taken aback, but did not report it. The (gossipy) students did bring up the issue to someone higher up, and she asked me about it a week later though. Right now we're all cool, but I must say that the incident has left me quite vulnerable, and I've been unable to cope with work these days.
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