Originally Posted by oh_hai
Im glad to hear that other people have sort of experienced the same thing! Theres a few other office cases ive heard where some people complained to their coworkers managers that they havent been inviting them for lunch. How rude and sad! Lunch is your only real break and there should be no rules on what you should be doing.
Like its soooo high school / middle school (or even worse!). You think its nice to spend time with "friends" but when it turns to situations like this, its so not worth it!
this is a gross oversimplification. office life is nothing like high school life. at work, especially in work places where there is very little job security (like UN workers who only get hired by the project but are not permanent staff), the office politics can get pretty crazy. people can lose their chance to get their contracts renewed, etc. and it's always the little things like lunch/who gets excluded from a group email that are used as weapons in office politics. sometimes it doesn't matter because lunch is just lunch, but a lot of the time it's a way of saying "you're not one of us." many things are discussed informally over lunch. it's seriously unfair to assume that it's "your only real break" in all cases/like it applies to everyone. it's not.
in my case, being ostracized as an intern started with being excluded from lunches. they used it as a form of bullying where this woman would invite EVERYONE in the office right in front of me (in addition to excluding me from information i needed to perform my job and ignoring all my attempts at communication). in the end it cost me the job that was offered to me after the internship.
you really CAN NOT draw the "high school" metaphor. it doesn't work, because back in highschool, if you weren't one of the "cool kids", it didn't cost you your livelihood. i think it's naive to compare the two.
I'm having a déjà vu moment, because someone is either spying on me or I'm posting on PF in my sleep. I thought I was imagining things at work like being excluded and the feeling of being bullied. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
at my old office there was a lot of pressure to eat lunch in the break room with the all the staff (we all had lunch scheduled for the same time). Sometimes, I would but the longer I worked there, the more I preferred going out for lunch and getting out of the office and having some alone time. if i ate at work invariably the coveration would turn to work and then it never really felt like a lunch break. And honestly, my colleagues were not my fave people so I wouldn't some time away from them. One of my colleague I did get along with always encoaurged me to eat with the group to build rapport and implied that I was being talked about b/c I wasn't there and by having lunch this would put a damper on that behavior and let them know me better.
I do realize that sometimes work can be productive to know what's going on and build rapport, but sometimes I just wanted out of the office. And honestly I wasn't really thrilled with the people I worked with so spending more time with them wasn't my thing. I figured I did my job I had the right to have my alone time. My boss liked my work and I won awards and was involved in leadership seminars. Unfortunatly, my office was small and 3 of the female colleagues targeted those (including me) who didn't "play" with them. They spent a lot of time looking at other's people's work and criticizing it and causing conflict. They got one person fired. I hated knowing they were always watching and criticizing my work and I was able to find employment (at much better paying job) away from them. Ironically, one of them left the office and the other cut their work time to half. I honestly think they were just unhappy and had axes to grind. My boss and I still talk from time to time and I think he is much happier that they left. I'm just glad I got out of there. As for my new office, I try to keep it friendly and light. I still don't eat with my colleagues, but I don't get any grief about it (the two main people I work with are men so that may be part of it). I have gone out to lunch twice with one of my colleagues, but I don't feel any pressure and I don't feel like they are talking about me behind my back, which makes a world of difference.
I try to limit how often I go for lunch with coworkers... I bring my lunch at least 3 days a week because I'm trying to save money, so that only leaves 1-2 days to make lunch plans. I don't want to get too involved with people at work but at the same time I don't want to be anti-social.
I only get a 30 minute lunch break and 98% of the time, I eat alone in my car.
My husband and I work at the same hospital. He is a nurse and I am in medical records. We carpool to work since we both work 6:30 to 3:00, so the other 2% of the time, I eat with him in the cafeteria. Since he is a nurse, he works through lunch most of the time, but every blue moon, we get to eat together.
I like the majority of the girls at work but I dont like them enough to eat lunch with them KWIM? Lmao! I mean, I'd like to eat lunch with my friends or people I love and adore so its enjoyable for me. At work its not. I have no interest in eating lunch at work. I try not to take a lunch as Im usually too busy but if I do, Ill purposely leave the lunch in the car or go home for a bit, rather than sitting at work and eating lunch. Not sure what the others think about that but then again I dont care. :)