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Can't sleep! Please help...been offered a position BUT...

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Jul 21, 2012, 1:35am   #1
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jeNYC
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Hi everyone,

So I've been offered a position this past Wednesday but I haven't accepted the offer...I told the employer that I would give a decision this upcoming Tuesday.

I went for another interview today with a different agency and I think I did pretty well...I have the skills and experience Job #2 is looking for AND I would love to work here instead. During the interview, the Job #2 employer told me he will be going on vacation next week and wants to schedule a second interview with the rest of the team for the first week of August. I couldn't wait that long (because of Job #1's decision) and I felt comfortable enough to tell him that I've been offered a position elsewhere but I would love for this opportunity instead. He understood and was able to schedule me for a second interview with the rest of the team this upcoming Tuesday at 2:30 even though he will not be there and he doesn't need to be. At the end of the interview, he gave me his personal cell as well and said that I can call him if I had further questions even though he will be on vacation. I laughed and said I don't want to call you on your vacation and he said we will probably have to talk on Tuesday.

Now, I am in a big dilemma. Job #1 is my fall back job if I don't get offered Job #2. Job #2's second interview is on Tuesday late afternoon and I would have to give Job #1 a decision on the same day by the end of the day.

How do I go about responding Job #1 on Tuesday???
-Do/Can I ask for more time to decide? Because she gave me 6 days by Tuesday already. AND what excuse should I give for asking for more time? I'm pretty sure the employer suspects that I am waiting to hear about another job.

OR...

-I accept Job #1...start processing my paperwork (job probably won't start for about two weeks if I go through with it) and decline the position later on if I get accepted for Job #2. My problem with that is I feel reallllly bad for doing that but I LOVE Job #2...yet I need Job #1 if I don't get offer Job #2.

Or do you have other suggestions?

What should I do? Thank you!
Jul 21, 2012, 3:39am   #2
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pr1nc355
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I think you should ask for more time from job #1. Maybe just send an email, without a reason, just asking for a few more days, like maybe until Friday. That way, you can do the 2nd interview at job #2 and have a couple of days to really think about it and make sure (or give them more time, if they don't make their decision right away). I'd email instead of call cuz if you talk to job #1 in person, you're likely to get asked why. They may still ask you why via email, but at least you can buy yourself some time to come up with an excuse. I don't really know a good excuse, except to say that you want to have more time to decide if you really are a good fit with the company and can give them what they need, or something like that. I would think the people at both jobs suspect that you're interviewing elsewhere. If you do end up taking job #1 before job #2 makes a decision (or maybe #2 says no initially, but later says yes), you can always resign, apologizing for taking their time, but you think you're a better fit elsewhere. However, if you do end up doing that, you may end up burning your bridges with job #1.
Jul 21, 2012, 9:39am   #3
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twoblue
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Definitely ask for more time from job#1. They know or at least highly suspect that you're interviewing at other companies. I'm sure they would appreciate you asking for more time instead of going through the paperwork process just to have you renege. It will also burn bridges and would impact your ability to work for that company in the future. Since job#2 knows that you have an offer, they are more likely to deliver a decision quickly so you only need a day or two. I don't think you need to give a reason as to why you are asking for more time. If they do ask you can be vague. I would ask sooner rather than later.
Jul 22, 2012, 12:31am   #4
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I agree with the above posters - ask for more time from job 1; although getting the cell number and a rushed 2nd interview with the 2nd job is a very good sign, I wouldn't accept job 1 and then decline if you get a yes from the 2nd place. It would look VERY bad, and you never know when you might run into people from that first job again.

If they don't give you more time, I would just decline the offer and wait on job 2, if you feel that strongly for it.
Jul 23, 2012, 1:52pm   #5
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jeNYC
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Originally Posted by pr1nc355
I think you should ask for more time from job #1. Maybe just send an email, without a reason, just asking for a few more days, like maybe until Friday. That way, you can do the 2nd interview at job #2 and have a couple of days to really think about it and make sure (or give them more time, if they don't make their decision right away). I'd email instead of call cuz if you talk to job #1 in person, you're likely to get asked why. They may still ask you why via email, but at least you can buy yourself some time to come up with an excuse. I don't really know a good excuse, except to say that you want to have more time to decide if you really are a good fit with the company and can give them what they need, or something like that. I would think the people at both jobs suspect that you're interviewing elsewhere. If you do end up taking job #1 before job #2 makes a decision (or maybe #2 says no initially, but later says yes), you can always resign, apologizing for taking their time, but you think you're a better fit elsewhere. However, if you do end up doing that, you may end up burning your bridges with job #1.
Originally Posted by twoblue
Definitely ask for more time from job#1. They know or at least highly suspect that you're interviewing at other companies. I'm sure they would appreciate you asking for more time instead of going through the paperwork process just to have you renege. It will also burn bridges and would impact your ability to work for that company in the future. Since job#2 knows that you have an offer, they are more likely to deliver a decision quickly so you only need a day or two. I don't think you need to give a reason as to why you are asking for more time. If they do ask you can be vague. I would ask sooner rather than later.
Originally Posted by athena21
I agree with the above posters - ask for more time from job 1; although getting the cell number and a rushed 2nd interview with the 2nd job is a very good sign, I wouldn't accept job 1 and then decline if you get a yes from the 2nd place. It would look VERY bad, and you never know when you might run into people from that first job again.

If they don't give you more time, I would just decline the offer and wait on job 2, if you feel that strongly for it.
Thank you all for your advice...I'm still losing sleep over this. I just told my friend that I am going to ask for an extension until Friday and she warned me that the employer might not like that and will tell me that they have someone else that is more suitable for the position...so now I'm really paranoid.

I also have another question...Job #2 employer knows that I have to make a decision for Job #1 by Tuesday (if I don't ask/get an extension).

Do you think I should call Job #2 employer right away on his cell phone since he gave it to me during our first interview and stated that "we will probably talk on Tuesday" (not sure if he just said it out of kindness) after I meet with his team at 2:30 for a second interview which will probably run until 3:30? Or is that too soon to call? Because I need to call job #1 no later than 4:15 P.M. (to ask for an extension or accept/decline the job...unsure yet).
Jul 23, 2012, 8:40pm   #6
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Originally Posted by jeNYC
Do you think I should call Job #2 employer right away on his cell phone since he gave it to me during our first interview and stated that "we will probably talk on Tuesday" (not sure if he just said it out of kindness) after I meet with his team at 2:30 for a second interview which will probably run until 3:30? Or is that too soon to call? Because I need to call job #1 no later than 4:15 P.M. (to ask for an extension or accept/decline the job...unsure yet).
What exactly would you want to say to that guy if you called him? I don't think reminding him that job #1 needs a response asap would swap him to give you a decision any faster. If anything, I think it would look a little unprofessional to bring that up and pressure your would-be boss. On that note, he could kind of string you along and say you're looking really good as a candidate, but if by some chance he does pick someone else, you'd be left high and dry and he wouldn't have a reason to care.

If you're having that interview on Tuesday, ask them when they are making their decisions. It wouldn't hurt at all to remind them that you're considering another offer, but I wouldn't put it on the table that you'd need an offer in about 20 minutes. Play off that interview and from there, I'd go with intuition and call job #1 with an acceptance or decline of their offer by the deadline.
Jul 23, 2012, 10:54pm   #7
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twoblue
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Originally Posted by athena21
If you're having that interview on Tuesday, ask them when they are making their decisions. It wouldn't hurt at all to remind them that you're considering another offer, but I wouldn't put it on the table that you'd need an offer in about 20 minutes.
This. They may be interviewing other candidates or need more time to make a decision. If you call job #1 and they don't give you an extension, you might need to decide whether the possibility of burning bridges with company #1 is worth your peace of mind.
Jul 24, 2012, 1:26am   #8
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If I were you, OP, I'd just go ahead and email job #1 and ask for more time. I agree with whoever posted that job #2 may not make their decision any quicker than they normally would just cuz you have an offer from somewhere else. Job #1 already expressed an interest in you, so they may be more accommodating to you. Job #2 already knows you want an answer asap, so just do the interview tomorrow and ask when they think a decision will be made. And follow up on whatever date they tell you.
Jul 24, 2012, 11:07am   #9
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jeNYC
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Originally Posted by athena21
What exactly would you want to say to that guy if you called him? I don't think reminding him that job #1 needs a response asap would swap him to give you a decision any faster. If anything, I think it would look a little unprofessional to bring that up and pressure your would-be boss. On that note, he could kind of string you along and say you're looking really good as a candidate, but if by some chance he does pick someone else, you'd be left high and dry and he wouldn't have a reason to care.

If you're having that interview on Tuesday, ask them when they are making their decisions. It wouldn't hurt at all to remind them that you're considering another offer, but I wouldn't put it on the table that you'd need an offer in about 20 minutes. Play off that interview and from there, I'd go with intuition and call job #1 with an acceptance or decline of their offer by the deadline.
Originally Posted by twoblue
This. They may be interviewing other candidates or need more time to make a decision. If you call job #1 and they don't give you an extension, you might need to decide whether the possibility of burning bridges with company #1 is worth your peace of mind.
Originally Posted by pr1nc355
If I were you, OP, I'd just go ahead and email job #1 and ask for more time. I agree with whoever posted that job #2 may not make their decision any quicker than they normally would just cuz you have an offer from somewhere else. Job #1 already expressed an interest in you, so they may be more accommodating to you. Job #2 already knows you want an answer asap, so just do the interview tomorrow and ask when they think a decision will be made. And follow up on whatever date they tell you.
I just called employer #1 stating that I have been offered other positions prior to receiving hers (though untrue, I did not want her to know that I am waiting for something better) and I have been really struggling and confused in making a final decision. I asked for an extension until Friday and she said yes but she cannot guarantee because mainly, the position does not necessarily have to be created. She asked what would help me decide and I explained that I am unsure because I am still struggling but the other positions were similar. She appreciated and thanked me for calling her today like I said I would and to call her regardless of what I decide this Friday.

So...I'm going to head out to my second interview today with employer #2. After the meeting, I'm going to ask one of the team member if she knows when the director will be able to make a decision by. I'm also going to email the Director after the second interview to thank him for expeditating the meeting just so he would have me on his mind...although I am not going to mention that I need a decision ASAP in this email. Hopefully, he calls me by Wednesday about something? Otherwise, I'm going to call him on Thursday morning...something along the line of thanking him for the interviews again and although I have another offer which I was able to extend the decision until tomorrow (Friday)...I would really like to work for his team instead.

How does the plan sound? If I should add/change something, please suggest. Thanks!
Jul 24, 2012, 2:23pm   #10
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Dancechika24
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Originally Posted by jeNYC
I just called employer #1 stating that I have been offered other positions prior to receiving hers (though untrue, I did not want her to know that I am waiting for something better) and I have been really struggling and confused in making a final decision. I asked for an extension until Friday and she said yes but she cannot guarantee because mainly, the position does not necessarily have to be created. She asked what would help me decide and I explained that I am unsure because I am still struggling but the other positions were similar. She appreciated and thanked me for calling her today like I said I would and to call her regardless of what I decide this Friday.

So...I'm going to head out to my second interview today with employer #2. After the meeting, I'm going to ask one of the team member if she knows when the director will be able to make a decision by. I'm also going to email the Director after the second interview to thank him for expeditating the meeting just so he would have me on his mind...although I am not going to mention that I need a decision ASAP in this email. Hopefully, he calls me by Wednesday about something? Otherwise, I'm going to call him on Thursday morning...something along the line of thanking him for the interviews again and although I have another offer which I was able to extend the decision until tomorrow (Friday)...I would really like to work for his team instead.

How does the plan sound? If I should add/change something, please suggest. Thanks!
Sounds good but just out of curiosity..what field is this for and what kind of position?
Jul 24, 2012, 4:39pm   #11
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Allisonfaye
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Good luck! I hope it works out for you. Report back!
Jul 24, 2012, 10:02pm   #12
jeNYC's Avatar
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jeNYC
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Originally Posted by Dancechika24
Sounds good but just out of curiosity..what field is this for and what kind of position?
Originally Posted by Allisonfaye
Good luck! I hope it works out for you. Report back!

Thank you for the support. This is for a social worker position.

Update: I was interviewed by three other staff and they asked me a lot of scenario/hypothetical questions. It was kind of difficult to read them but there were really no right or wrong answers to the questions. At the end of the interview, one of the staff brought up that they understand I was going on other interviews. I stated that I was given another offer but I was able to extend the decision until Friday morning. Staff said that the final decision will be up to the Director and they will speak with him and inform him of the my deadline. After further questions and I got their contact information, I asked one of the staff if he is aware that the Director will call me by Friday regardless of his decision and he stated that it will be up to him but they will speak with him. My tone didn't come off as pushy or forceful...just more out of curiousity. After the interview, I sent the Director a Thank you email even though he's on vacation. I'm just probably going to call him early Friday afternoon if I don't hear from him by Friday morning...do you think that will be okay or just let it be and don't call him at all? The wait is really killing me...I took a huge gamble with Job #1 asking for extension since she now said that that position cannot be guaranteed.
Jul 27, 2012, 6:07am   #13
M
Mbee24
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Any updates?
Aug 1, 2012, 9:43pm   #14
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bnjj
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Originally Posted by jeNYC
Thank you for the support. This is for a social worker position.

Update: I was interviewed by three other staff and they asked me a lot of scenario/hypothetical questions. It was kind of difficult to read them but there were really no right or wrong answers to the questions. At the end of the interview, one of the staff brought up that they understand I was going on other interviews. I stated that I was given another offer but I was able to extend the decision until Friday morning. Staff said that the final decision will be up to the Director and they will speak with him and inform him of the my deadline. After further questions and I got their contact information, I asked one of the staff if he is aware that the Director will call me by Friday regardless of his decision and he stated that it will be up to him but they will speak with him. My tone didn't come off as pushy or forceful...just more out of curiousity. After the interview, I sent the Director a Thank you email even though he's on vacation. I'm just probably going to call him early Friday afternoon if I don't hear from him by Friday morning...do you think that will be okay or just let it be and don't call him at all? The wait is really killing me...I took a huge gamble with Job #1 asking for extension since she now said that that position cannot be guaranteed.
Soooo, what happened?

I likely would have accepted the first position. People rescind their acceptance of job offers all the time - sometimes their current employers entice them to stay, sometimes they get another offer for a position they wanted more. It happens. I've also seen people start positions and resign shortly thereafter as they got an offer for something they were interviewing for at the same time that they wanted more, it's just that that offer took longer.

It can be a PITA for the company to have someone rescind but companies look out for themselves, and we have to look out for ourselves.
Aug 3, 2012, 11:55am   #15
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jeNYC
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Originally Posted by bnjj

Soooo, what happened?

I likely would have accepted the first position. People rescind their acceptance of job offers all the time - sometimes their current employers entice them to stay, sometimes they get another offer for a position they wanted more. It happens. I've also seen people start positions and resign shortly thereafter as they got an offer for something they were interviewing for at the same time that they wanted more, it's just that that offer took longer.

It can be a PITA for the company to have someone rescind but companies look out for themselves, and we have to look out for ourselves.
Hey. So employer #2 called me last week and told me him and his team really like me. UNFORTUNATELY, he was unable to give me a decision so soon which I completely understand. He say he would stay in touch with me but I haven't heard from him :( I don't think Im going to get the job :( I mean they haven't checked my references (They would have told me). I really want to get this job but I am losing hope as the wait gets longer.
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