Bird lovers I need your help. I am brokenhearted. My Teila passed away.

[DesigningStyle]

My beautiful Lutino Cockatiel, Teila passed away as they prepared her for surgery on Thursday.

Teila was a gift from Heaven to me. I found her on my driveway almost 4 years ago. She has brought me nothing but joy. I came across an email of mine from when I found her and thought I would share it here. I had never even contemplated adding a bird to my family and had no I idea how close we could be, how much a part of my life she could be and how deeply I would love her!

“She was very wet...soaked when I found her. I (really I have to give my greyhound Razor the credit here!) was taking Razor out for his morning walk on Saturday and he pulled to go towards the garage doors at the top of my driveway, I joked with my husband that he is after an animal...then I looked down and sure enough there was this beautiful little feathered friend! I quickly scooped her up and brought her in the house and put her on a perch in my garage where she could dry off and rest. I had a hair appointment and an hour and a half later returned home to see a beautiful dry bird! She was resting peacefully. Then I ran to the petstore for a cage, food, toys, etc to help her settle in. She is scared. She has bitten me a couple times, but not because she is a mean bird, she is adjusting and this is a frightening situation. I am being patient with her and taking it nice and slow. Heck, if I were her, I would bite too! She is a cutie and I know she will come around.

Healthwise, she appears to be in perfect health. Eating and drinking great. Bright eyed, active...and just yesterday started whistling and squalking a bit! In fact everytime I would leave the sunroom she would whistle...I think she enjoys my company!”

I searched desperately for her owners…posting and advertising everywhere. They never came forward. I am so glad!

Our relationship evolved. Starting with daily 15-20 minute sessions of together time at her pace. I let her hiss and explore and get close. Within a month she was “stepping up” and the hissing stopped. We became inseparable.


















Everyday since her passing has been a sad day for me. Ugh, I am beyond brokenhearted. I am on the verge of tears constantly. My sister came over to try to make me feel better. It worked for a bit. Honestly my stomach just sinks knowing Teila is gone. I can barely eat. I miss her so.

My sister's girlfriend gave her this beautiful poem for me--thinking it would make me feel better, instead it only makes me cry.

I'm Still Here

I was near you, by your bed last night; I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I chattered to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you. I'm well. I'm fine. I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast. I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached out to me.
I was with you at my grave today. You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I am not lying there.

I flew with you back towards the house. As you fumbled for your key,
I gently touched you with a feather, I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was perching there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, and then smiled. I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over - I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Good night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll fly across to greet you and we'll enter side by side.

I have many things to show you. There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.

- Author Unknown -

To those that have had their feathered loved ones pass away, how do you deal with the pain and heartbreak? I can't even believe how such a little bird could leave such a huge void. (I am such a huge animal lover and while I have lost dogs and cats, this pain I am feeling over Teila is far worse). I am thinking only bird-lovers can understand what I am talking about, but I certainly welcome all your posts.

[KittyKat65]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a beautiful little parakeet named Budsie for 8 years. He was the best little pet I have ever had. I still tear up when I think about him (like now). He used to sit on me every night during TV time, he would fly around my house, talk to me and love me. I left him with my parents in Australia when I moved the the US. 14 years later I still feel as though I abandoned him. When I visited my parents I noticed he had a huge yellow lump on his belly and took him to the vet. The vet said he was in no pain. I came back to the US and he died days later. Birds are just amazing and so capable of love.

Again, I am so sorry your little Teila passed. She was very, very beautiful and a special gal in your life. Cry all you want. We are here for you.

[DesigningStyle]

Thank you KittyKat65. It is a comfort to know that others understand.

[Junkenpo]

Prayers, hugs and warm fuzzy thoughts being sent your way. I am sorry for your loss. I can see from the pictures that she was a sweetie & well-loved.

Fly high, Teila!

Losing a loved one is difficult in any circumstance. A pet is a pet is someone who is loved in life and the loss of their life does not negate the love.

I think for bird lovers, it's especially difficult to grieve because when we try to tell non-bird lovers how sad we are over the loss, we're often met with a blank stare & "but it was only a bird" and "oh that's sad, why don't you get a new one?"

Other folks with pets will be gentler, understanding how it is to love an animal like a family member.. pets become our family.

But most others don't realize that big or small, this loss is painful. People who haven't loved a bird don't realize the energy these feathered little bodies contain....or that for all their small size, the amount of love they have to share is so much bigger than they are. They vibrate with it, our little feathered clowns.

You will be sad. Cry.

It's okay to cry when someone you loved has a passed away. Don't ever let anyone tell you that because Teila was "just a bird" you should be done grieving. The correct amount to grieve your loss is is however long it takes. There is no set time.

I had a fischer lovebird, Haley, whom I loved for 9 years before he passed on, and it took me 2 years after that to even think about bringing home a new bird. When I did, I lost that one (Makalii - Hawaiian for "little eyes", the constellation Pleides) after only 6 months to a horrible, careless accident that I felt was my fault. But having/losing Makalii reminded me how much I loved my birds, so only one month later, when I found & fell in love with my little Sunset-to-Sunrise... the fid in my avatar....I brought her home. She's been with me for almost a year now. I worried about losing her almost obsessively for the first few months she came home.

That poem "I'm still here" makes me tear up whenever I read it. It hurts, because I remember my fids (feathered kids) that have gone on, and I still miss them.... but it also makes me smile through the tears, because I love them.

Something else that made my heart ache was learning about The Rainbow Bridge. (click here for the Rainbow Bridge) I have a small flock & one gray kitty waiting for me there.

So cry, do what you need to celebrate the life & grieve the passing of your little Teila. You loved & still love her & even death cannot change that.

Again, hugs, prayers & warm fuzzy thoughts. Be well.

[rendodan110]

I am so sorry, I have lost a few of my feathered babies over the years it is truely heart wrenching. I had my babies cremated and kept a few of their feathers and I keep the leg bands on my key chain as a reminder of their wonderful lives. the only way to heal the pain is time. my mom lost 4 parrots in a fume incident all the same day she was in shock I bought her a special one legged (leg was chewed off at breeders) conure to hand feed and raise grant it sadie never replaced my moms lost babies but she filled a bit of the void and my mom has spent the last 2 years rebuilding her birdy flock and all of her new babies have been told of the wonderful flock she had lost that way their memories live on. people who have never had a parrot don't understand that they are really feathered children I have 9 parrots and it is as tho I have 9 5 yr old kids here each with a individual personality. I think you gave teila a wonderful gift by taking her in and loving her so much I too had a cockatiel land in my yard and we named him journey he has since passed away but I have his memory to make me smile. If you haven't yet take a look at my TPF albums I have pictures of my babies on there. Just know that there is no other feeling like having a parrot love you and I hope you someday will find another feathered companion to love.

[pidgeon92]

Sorry to hear about little Teila.... Losing a pet is always traumatic.... I had my first cockatiel for 17 years... His name was Pidgeon, and he was a terrific, loving bird with a great personality...

In the past several years I have lost two little parakeets, and I was crushed both times.... Neither was as close to me as Pidgeon, but they both had wonderful personalities of their own.... They are both buried in the front yard; one is marked with a birdbath, the other with an angel statue.

Now I have a Nanday Conure and another cockatiel, and they are both great birds....

No bird will replace Teila, but you should consider getting another bird.... pets add so much to a life.

[Dark_Desire]

I'm so sorry for your loss; it's always heartbreaking to lose a pet I had one just like Teila and he passed away at the age of 19.
It has been well over ten years now when he passed away and I still think of him often...

[Kaydee Lynn]

I am so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels when a pet passes away.

[skyqueen]

I am so sorry for your loss. Most people don't understand how loving birds can be. Thank you for sharing your story about Teila with us.

[grace04]

I haven't ever had a bird, but I know too well the pain that comes with losing a cherished and beloved pet. My heart goes out to you.

[boomie]

I've lost my 3 beloved cockatiels too over the years :( Rest in Peace Teila! My condolences.

[clevercat]

Teila was very beautiful, and so lucky to have you as a Mum.
I am very sorry for your loss.

[DesigningStyle]

Junkenpo, Danielle, and Pidgeon92, First, thank you for visiting my thread and for responding to my need so quickly. You are a testament to what a wonderful community tPF is--not only do we chat about our handbags, but support each other as friends. I appreciate each of you and truly consider you friends--please if I can help you, let me know.

Junkenpo, Thank you for the time you took to post. Your words were of great comfort. Everything you wrote is so true and spoke directly to me. The volume of love these little birds give is unparalleled and unfathomable. I remember your post about Hayley--Sunset-to-Sunrise is indeed fortunate to have you.

Danielle, Your post was so nice--I know you understand. I have kept some of Teila's feathers like you and your husband did. I am so sorry for your Mom's loss. She sounds like she is doing better. I am glad your memories of Journey still make you smile--I never want to forget Teila. I looked at your profile and couldn't find photos of your feathered family--I saw pictures of your gorgeous flesh family and some photos of a hot blue bag (I love your nail polish!).

Pidgeon92, Thank you for your post. Yes, I remember Pidgeon. We shared a few PMs about cockatiels way back when. You are so right, when the time is right I will welcome another bird into my life and into my heart.

Dark Desire, Kaydee, Skyqueen, Grace, Boomie, and Clevercat, Thank you for your posts as well. You are all so kind to write. It helps to share my sorrow with people that understand.

[rendodan110]

here is a link to my feathered and non feathered babies
http://forum.purseblog.com/album.php?albumid=206

[DesigningStyle]

Danielle, I am such a goof! I didn't click on the "Show all albums" link on your page. Thanks for the link. Oh my you have quite the family! They are all adorable! I wish you lived closer to me so I could come over and play. I think they would lift my spirits!