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Letter from Pet Owner to Pet -- Very Funny

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Feb 2, 2007, 12:29pm   #1
RenataM's Avatar
Thread Starter
RenataM
Member
I got this in an email...it was so funny, I thought I should share with everyone.

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on
the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl
up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep
perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out an d having
tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door
shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the
knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.
I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been
using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
butt. I cannot stress this enough! & nbsp;
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
our front door:


To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About MY Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are b etter than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4.Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Feb 2, 2007, 12:51pm   #2
chicky's Avatar
chicky
Sofa King Marple


LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing.
Feb 2, 2007, 12:59pm   #3
John 5's Avatar
John 5
Member
ha ha ha. Thanks for sharing!
Feb 2, 2007, 1:21pm   #4
Couturegrl's Avatar
Couturegrl
Addicted to Tiffany's
LOL So cute!
Feb 2, 2007, 2:55pm   #5
Leelee's Avatar
Leelee
Up On My Toes!
Cute! And funny too! My dogs and cats should be able to relate to just about all of those items...especially the one about taking up too much space on the bed!
Feb 2, 2007, 3:08pm   #6
RenataM's Avatar
Thread Starter
RenataM
Member
ITA with you Leelee

My dog Porsche is the biggest bed hog in the world as well, we usually have to evict her otherwise we can't sleep well.
Feb 2, 2007, 7:23pm   #7
TravelBug's Avatar
TravelBug
Member
Very funny, thanks for posting!
Feb 2, 2007, 7:26pm   #8
BagAngel's Avatar
BagAngel
Louis Vuitton Addict
haha that is so funny. I love "They live here you don't" & staying off the fur -niture
Feb 3, 2007, 2:34am   #9
katielou07's Avatar
katielou07
Member
very cute, thanks for sharing. it's now posted on my fridge :)
Feb 3, 2007, 3:23am   #10
l
lmpsola
Account Deactivated
lol! That was funny! Thanks for posting!
Feb 3, 2007, 3:50am   #11
Saich2's Avatar
Saich2
Member
This is just brilliant and so true. Loved it
Feb 4, 2007, 9:14pm   #12
bvbirdygirl's Avatar
bvbirdygirl
Member
LOL. ! number 11.
Feb 6, 2007, 10:57am   #13
BeBeStyle's Avatar
BeBeStyle
Love Life
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help because I fall faster than you can run.

HaHa...sounds like our cat!! Too cute, thanks for sharing!
Feb 6, 2007, 11:23pm   #14
madamefifi's Avatar
madamefifi
cat hoarder
I just spent the day sleeping on the very edge of our queen-size bed because Madame Fifi and Gozer decided they had to sleep in the exact center. I can relate to every single item mentioned in that letter!! Too cute!
Feb 7, 2007, 6:24pm   #15
vanessa_karie's Avatar
vanessa_karie
totally addicted..
awww...this letter is soo cute!! would u mind if i put it on my blog??
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